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Banned from Coles
(Preview)
Banned from Coles Supermarkets Yesterday I was at my local Coles store buying a large bag of Pal dog food for my loyal pet and was in the checkout queue when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had, an elephant? So, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Pal D...
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jules47
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1
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1055
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Dear Ms. Gillard
(Preview)
I absolutely love this, who-ever thought it up is a genius, they need congratulating. Enjoy! Dear Ms. Gillard, Please find below our suggestion for fixing Australia 's economy. Instead of giving billions of dollars to banks that will squander the money on lavish parties and unearned bo...
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hammer
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1
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1001
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OLD DRUNKS;
(Preview)
I pointed to two old drunks sitting across the bar from us and told my friend "That's us in 10 years". He said "That's a mirror, dip-****!
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justcruisin01
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0
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784
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SACKED;
(Preview)
I have just been sacked from my new job in the Wines and Spirits section At Woolworths. A Muslim man came in and asked if I could recommend a good port. I said Try Kuwait ......
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justcruisin01
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0
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735
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PSYCHIATRISTS VS BARTENDERS'
(Preview)
Psychiatrists vs. Bartenders EVER SINCE I WAS A CHILD, I'VE ALWAYS HAD A FEAR OF SOMEONE UNDER MY BED AT NIGHT. SO I WENT TO A SHRINK AND TOLD HIM: 'I've got problems. Every time I go to bed I think there's somebody under it. I'm scared. I think I'm going crazy.' 'Just put yourself in my hands for one year,...
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justcruisin01
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0
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451
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CELL PHONES;
(Preview)
Why I hate Cell Phones My boss phoned me today. He said, "Is everything okay at the office?" I said, "Yes, it's all under control. It's been a very busy day; I haven't stopped." "Can you do me a favour?" he asked. I said, "Of course, what is it?" He said, &quo...
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justcruisin01
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2
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940
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GOLF;
(Preview)
> > Tim and Janice met on a singles cruise and Tim fell head over heels > for her. > > > > > > > When they discovered they lived in neighboring cities only a few > miles apart Tim was ecstatic. He immediately started asking her out when they > got home. > > Within...
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justcruisin01
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1
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866
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"Wife gone Missing"
(Preview)
My wife has been missing for over a week now. The police investigators have told me to be prepared for the worst. So, I had to go down to the Salvos to get all of her clothes back. 
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DandS
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5
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896
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TICKETS PLEASE;
(Preview)
Three Australians and three Maoris are travelling by train to a Rugby match at the World Cup in England. At the station, the three Aussies each buy a ticket and watch as the three Maoris buy just one ticket between them. "How are the three of you going to travel on only one ticket?" asks One of...
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justcruisin01
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0
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740
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NAG NAG NAG;
(Preview)
NAG, NAG, NAG... An attorney arrived home late, after a very tough day trying to get a stay of execution. His last minute plea for clemency to the governor had failed and he was feeling worn out and depressed. As soon as he walked through the door at home, his wife started on him about, 'What time of nigh...
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justcruisin01
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2
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877
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Bunnings;
(Preview)
The Bunnings Story! Charlie was installing a new door and found that one of the hinges was missing. He asked his wife Mary if she would go to Bunnings and pick up a hinge. Mary agreed to go. While she was waiting for the nice young man to finish serving a customer, Her eye ca...
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justcruisin01
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0
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1040
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WHAT NEXT!
(Preview)
NOW ON SALE Quick Assembly * Lesbian Beds * No nuts or screwing involved. It's all tongue and groove!!
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justcruisin01
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0
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725
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PAT & MICK;
(Preview)
Pat and Mick Pat and Mick were walking along a street in London when Pat looked in a shop window and sees a sign that catches his eye. The sign read, "Suits £5.00 each, Shirts £2.00 each, trousers £2.50 per pair". Pat said to his pal, "Mick look at the prices! We could buy a whole l...
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justcruisin01
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0
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808
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Peanuts
(Preview)
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Firefly
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3
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915
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CHURCH
(Preview)
I know this should be in humour sect, but I felt more would see it here -- Edited by goinsoon on Saturday 14th of January 2012 06:58:02 PM
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goinsoon
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0
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813
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Fire Truck
(Preview)
A firefighter was working on the engine outside a firestation, when he noticed a little girl nearby in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the sides and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle. The girl was wearing a firefighters helmet. The wagon was being pulled by her dog and her cat. Th...
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GarrynLyn
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0
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719
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Giuseppe’s Seminar Surprise!
(Preview)
At St. Peter's Catholic Church in Melbourne they have weekly husband's marriage seminars. At the session last week, the priest asked Giuseppe, who said he was approaching his 50th wedding anniversary, to take a few minutes and share some insight into how he had managed to stay married to the sam...
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Going gone
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0
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625
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Bull
(Preview)
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Firefly
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0
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788
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Thou shalt not pinch stuff
(Preview)
woman was before the magistrate on a charge of shop lifting. She admitted to stealing a small tin of peaches, pleading that it was a small tin and only contained six peaches. The magistrate told the woman shoplifting was a serious problem in the community and had to be treated as such. He then sentenced...
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jimbo
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1
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843
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Blonde Joke
(Preview)
There are three moms. . A Brunette, a Redhead, and a Blonde. They were all talking one day and the brunette says "Oh my gosh y'all I went through my daughter's purse the other day to get some gum, and I found an ounce of weed. I cannot believe she smokes weed" They comfort her, and the redhead say...
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jimbo
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2
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978
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