Just Joking

Peterpan · Peterpan

RETIRED HUSBAND After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the follow...

Zoomtopz · Zoomtopz

A big earthquake with the strength of 8.1 on the Richter scale hit the middle east. Two million Muslims died and over a million were injured. The country is totally ruined and the government doesn't know where to start with providing help to rebuild. The rest of the world is in shock. The USA is send...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

An Arab and a Genie An Arab had spent many days crossing the desert without finding a source of water. It got so bad that his camel died of thirst. He crawled through the sands, certain that he was breathing his last breath, when suddenly, he saw a shiny object sticking out of the sand several yards ahea...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

A minister decided that a visual demonstration would add emphasis to his Sunday sermon.Four worms were placed into four separate jars.The first worm was put into a container of alcohol.The second worm was put into a container of cigarette smoke.The third worm was put into a container of chocolate...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

A Pastor goes to the dentist for a set of false teeth. The first Sunday after he gets his new teeth, he talks for only eight minutes. The second Sunday, he talks for only ten minutes. The following Sunday, he talks for 2 hours and 48 minutes. The congregation had to mob him to get him down from the pulpit...

Dave83 · Dave83

A little girl asked her Mum, Mum, may I take the dog for a walk around the block? Mum replies, No, because she is in heat. Whats that mean? asked the child. Go ask your father. I think hes in the garage. ... The little girl goes to the garage and says, Dad, may I take Belle for a walk around the block? I asked Mum...

old briney · old briney

A man was driving home late one afternoon, and he was driving above the speed limit. He notices a police car with its red lights on in his rear view mirror. He thinks "I can outrun this guy," so he floors it and the race is on. The cars are racing down the highway -- 60, 70, 80, 90 miles an hour. Fina...

old briney · old briney

Two Queensland Police Officers were chasing a Camaro south on Highway 1 toward Tweed Heads. When the suspect crossed the NSW border, the first officer pulled over quickly. The rookie officer pulled in behind him and said, "Hey, sarge, why did you stop?" The sarge replied, "...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

LETTER OF RECOMMENDATION 1 Trevor Adams, my assistant programmer, can always be found 2 hard at work in his cubicle. Trevor works independently, without 3 wasting company time talking to colleagues. Trevor never 4 thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and he always...

thommo · thommo

-- Edited by thommo on Tuesday 1st of November 2011 12:29:35 PM

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

They were funny looking buildings, that were once a way of life, If you couldn't sprint the distance, then you really were in strife.They were nailed, they were wired, but were mostly falling down, There was one in every yard, in every house, in every town.They were given many names, some were e...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

Collingwood Centrelink office, A woman walks into the Collingwood Centrelink office, trailed by 15 kids . . .. 'WOW,' the social worker exclaims, 'Are they ALL yours?' 'Yeah, they are all mine,' the flustered mother sighs, having heard that question a thousand times before. She says, 'Sit down T...

Dave83 · Dave83

Tony Abbott was on the news before. He was in quite a fluster, saying "No no no, you've got it all wrong, I said stop the BOATS!!!!!!!"

Dave83 · Dave83

I heard today that Qantas are changing their logo from the flying Kangaroo to an Emu. Apparently they though that a flightless bird was more appropriate

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

A HUSBAND IS AT HOME WATCHING A FOOTBALL GAME WHEN HIS WIFE INTERRUPTS, HONEY, COULD YOU FIX THE LIGHT IN THE HALLWAY? IT'S BEEN FLICKERING FOR WEEKS NOW. HE LOOKS AT HER AND SAYS ANGRILY, FIX THE LIGHTS NOW? DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE ENERGEX WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD? I DON'T THINK SO. FINE, THEN THE W...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

The Knob A woman visited a plastic surgeon who told her about anew procedure called 'The Knob,' where a smallknob is placed at the top of the woman's head andcould be turned to tighten up her skin and produce theeffect of a brand new face-lift. Of course, the womanwanted 'The Knob.' Over the cour...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

God created the dog and said: 'Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years.' The dog said: 'That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?' So God agreed. Then God creat...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

To Be 8 again! A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, watching his wife, who was looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was not far off he asked what she'd like to have for her birthday. 'I'd like to be eight again', she replied, still looking in the mirror . On the morning of her Birthday...

Fairy-Nuff · Fairy-Nuff

Paddy McCoy, an elderly Irish farmer, received a letter from the Department for Work & Pensions stating that they suspected he was not paying his employees the statutory minimum wage and they would send an inspector to interview them.On the appointed day, the inspector turned up. "Tel...

clazandaza · clazandaza

Police work must be entertaining as well as dangerous. In summary, the police arrested Patrick Lawrence, 22 year old white male, in a pumpkin patch 12.01 A.M. On Friday. On Monday, at the Gwinnett County (Georgia) Courthouse, Lawrence was charged with lewd and lascivious Behaviour, public in...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Retired Husband (Preview) RETIRED HUSBAND After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the follow...	Peterpan	0	936	09:13 AM Nov 6, 2011 by Peterpan
	our way of helping (Preview) A big earthquake with the strength of 8.1 on the Richter scale hit the middle east. Two million Muslims died and over a million were injured. The country is totally ruined and the government doesn't know where to start with providing help to rebuild. The rest of the world is in shock. The USA is send...	Zoomtopz	0	765	09:30 PM Nov 4, 2011 by Zoomtopz
	AN ARAB & A GENIE; (Preview) An Arab and a Genie An Arab had spent many days crossing the desert without finding a source of water. It got so bad that his camel died of thirst. He crawled through the sands, certain that he was breathing his last breath, when suddenly, he saw a shiny object sticking out of the sand several yards ahea...	justcruisin01	0	694	02:54 PM Nov 4, 2011 by justcruisin01
	WORMS (Preview) A minister decided that a visual demonstration would add emphasis to his Sunday sermon.Four worms were placed into four separate jars.The first worm was put into a container of alcohol.The second worm was put into a container of cigarette smoke.The third worm was put into a container of chocolate...	justcruisin01	0	828	02:53 PM Nov 4, 2011 by justcruisin01
	TALK TIME (Preview) A Pastor goes to the dentist for a set of false teeth. The first Sunday after he gets his new teeth, he talks for only eight minutes. The second Sunday, he talks for only ten minutes. The following Sunday, he talks for 2 hours and 48 minutes. The congregation had to mob him to get him down from the pulpit...	justcruisin01	0	582	02:50 PM Nov 4, 2011 by justcruisin01
	Walking the dog (Preview) A little girl asked her Mum, Mum, may I take the dog for a walk around the block? Mum replies, No, because she is in heat. Whats that mean? asked the child. Go ask your father. I think hes in the garage. ... The little girl goes to the garage and says, Dad, may I take Belle for a walk around the block? I asked Mum...	Dave83	0	516	01:36 PM Nov 4, 2011 by Dave83
	Cop wants an excuse (Preview) A man was driving home late one afternoon, and he was driving above the speed limit. He notices a police car with its red lights on in his rear view mirror. He thinks "I can outrun this guy," so he floors it and the race is on. The cars are racing down the highway -- 60, 70, 80, 90 miles an hour. Fina...	old briney	2	857	02:40 PM Nov 3, 2011 by JRH
	Police Chase (Preview) Two Queensland Police Officers were chasing a Camaro south on Highway 1 toward Tweed Heads. When the suspect crossed the NSW border, the first officer pulled over quickly. The rookie officer pulled in behind him and said, "Hey, sarge, why did you stop?" The sarge replied, "...	old briney	0	581	11:30 AM Nov 3, 2011 by old briney
	RECOMMENDATION; (Preview) LETTER OF RECOMMENDATION 1 Trevor Adams, my assistant programmer, can always be found 2 hard at work in his cubicle. Trevor works independently, without 3 wasting company time talking to colleagues. Trevor never 4 thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and he always...	justcruisin01	1	886	09:41 PM Nov 1, 2011 by Pam
	Hmm!! (Preview) -- Edited by thommo on Tuesday 1st of November 2011 12:29:35 PM	thommo	0	531	12:28 PM Nov 1, 2011 by thommo
	AN AUSSIE POEM; (Preview) They were funny looking buildings, that were once a way of life, If you couldn't sprint the distance, then you really were in strife.They were nailed, they were wired, but were mostly falling down, There was one in every yard, in every house, in every town.They were given many names, some were e...	justcruisin01	8	1868	10:20 AM Oct 31, 2011 by gubby
	CENTRELINK: (Preview) Collingwood Centrelink office, A woman walks into the Collingwood Centrelink office, trailed by 15 kids . . .. 'WOW,' the social worker exclaims, 'Are they ALL yours?' 'Yeah, they are all mine,' the flustered mother sighs, having heard that question a thousand times before. She says, 'Sit down T...	justcruisin01	0	1060	08:33 PM Oct 30, 2011 by justcruisin01
	Qantas again (Preview) Tony Abbott was on the news before. He was in quite a fluster, saying "No no no, you've got it all wrong, I said stop the BOATS!!!!!!!"	Dave83	0	626	05:26 PM Oct 30, 2011 by Dave83
	Qantas (Preview) I heard today that Qantas are changing their logo from the flying Kangaroo to an Emu. Apparently they though that a flightless bird was more appropriate	Dave83	0	725	05:26 PM Oct 30, 2011 by Dave83
	CAKE OR BED; (Preview) A HUSBAND IS AT HOME WATCHING A FOOTBALL GAME WHEN HIS WIFE INTERRUPTS, HONEY, COULD YOU FIX THE LIGHT IN THE HALLWAY? IT'S BEEN FLICKERING FOR WEEKS NOW. HE LOOKS AT HER AND SAYS ANGRILY, FIX THE LIGHTS NOW? DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE ENERGEX WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD? I DON'T THINK SO. FINE, THEN THE W...	justcruisin01	0	730	01:58 PM Oct 29, 2011 by justcruisin01
	THE KNOB (Preview) The Knob A woman visited a plastic surgeon who told her about anew procedure called 'The Knob,' where a smallknob is placed at the top of the woman's head andcould be turned to tighten up her skin and produce theeffect of a brand new face-lift. Of course, the womanwanted 'The Knob.' Over the cour...	justcruisin01	0	568	01:55 PM Oct 29, 2011 by justcruisin01
	LIFE; (Preview) God created the dog and said: 'Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years.' The dog said: 'That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?' So God agreed. Then God creat...	justcruisin01	1	975	11:01 AM Oct 29, 2011 by Pam
	EIGHT; (Preview) To Be 8 again! A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, watching his wife, who was looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was not far off he asked what she'd like to have for her birthday. 'I'd like to be eight again', she replied, still looking in the mirror . On the morning of her Birthday...	justcruisin01	0	803	09:50 PM Oct 28, 2011 by justcruisin01
	Paddy McCoy (Preview) Paddy McCoy, an elderly Irish farmer, received a letter from the Department for Work & Pensions stating that they suspected he was not paying his employees the statutory minimum wage and they would send an inspector to interview them.On the appointed day, the inspector turned up. "Tel...	Fairy-Nuff	1	986	08:52 PM Oct 28, 2011 by justcruisin01
	THE PUMPKIN (Preview) Police work must be entertaining as well as dangerous. In summary, the police arrested Patrick Lawrence, 22 year old white male, in a pumpkin patch 12.01 A.M. On Friday. On Monday, at the Gwinnett County (Georgia) Courthouse, Lawrence was charged with lewd and lascivious Behaviour, public in...	clazandaza	0	745	08:58 AM Oct 28, 2011 by clazandaza
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