Just Joking

Hoodathunkit · Hoodathunkit

The Facelift! A woman decided to have a face lift for her birthday, she spent $5000 and felt really good about the results. On her way home she stopped at a dress shop to look around. As she was leaving, she said to the sales clerk, I hope you dont mind me asking, but how old do you think I am? About 35, was the r...

Olley46 · Olley46

The American skyting about a strong man they have in America ,he said he can go into the corner of a paddock grab a strainer post in his left hand a strainer post in his right hand throw them up above his head crash them together poof sawdust,the Aussie said that's nothing we have a strong man here he can go i...

spida · spida

Did I read that sign right? In an office: TOILET OUT OF ORDER....... PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW In a Laundromat: AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT In a London department store: BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS In an office: WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADD...

Hoodathunkit · Hoodathunkit

Wise Italian Grandfather Why Italian Fathers and Grandfathers pass their handguns down through the family. An old Italian man is dying. He calls his grandson to his bedside, Guido, I wan' you lissina me. I wan' you to take-a my chrome plated .38 revolver so you will always remember me. "But gr...

Big Gorilla · Big Gorilla

This is dedicated to all of us who are seniors and to all of you who will become seniors."WHERE is my SUNDAY paper?!"The irate customer calling the newspaper office, loudly demanded to knowwhere her Sunday edition was."Madam," said the newspaper employee, "today is Sa...

spida · spida

petengail · petengail

People today are such hypocrites. First they say 'I'm so hungry I could eat a horse' then try to sue Tesco for giving them that opportunity

Zoomtopz · Zoomtopz

well Did you know this about bats?The newsletter from Gardening Australia said: Put up a bat house to encourage the presence of these shy animals. Bats consume 3,000 or more mosquitoes and other insects nightly, and bats are less likely to be rabid than dogs are. Need another reason? Bats are respon...

Magnarc · Magnarc

Chief Running Horse commenting on daylight saving, "Why does white man think that cutting a foot off top of blanket and sewing on bottom, make day longer???"

Hoodathunkit · Hoodathunkit

The novel Fifty Shades Of Grey has seduced women and baffled blokes. Now a spoof, Fifty Sheds Of Grey, offers a treat for the men. The book has author Colin Grey recounting his love encounters at the bottom of the garden. Here are some extracts... Fifty Sheds Of Grey We tried various positions round the...

petengail · petengail

I turned up at the Circus with my Wigwam and and my performing Dolphin for an Audition. The Manager of the Circus said " We need to run a few Checks, but to all in Tents and Porpoises the job is yours".

petengail · petengail

One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very sexy nightie. "Tie me up," she purred, "And you can do anything you want." So he tied her up and went golfing.

spida · spida

CAN'T beat aKiwi!! AKiwi and an Aussie entered a chocolate shop As they were busy looking around, the Aussiestole 3 chocolate bars. As they left the store, the Aussie said to theKiwi "Man, I'm the best thief, I stole 3 chocolate bars and no one saw me. You can't beat that. " TheKiwi repl...

petengail · petengail

I walked into a pub and said to the barman, "XXXX please mate." He said, "Are you 18?" I said, "No." He said, "I can't serve you then." As I walked out I thought to myself, "This is the fourth pub - what does a 22 year old have to do to get a beer round here?...

petengail · petengail

Secrets to a Happy Marriage 1. It is important to find a woman that cooks and cleans. 2. It is important to find a woman that makes good money. 3. It is important to find a woman that likes to have sex. and MOST important... 4. It is important that these three women never meet

jules47 · jules47

Cracked me up!!

Olley46 · Olley46

Three strings walk into a bar two sit at the table one goes to the bar,three pots thanks the barman said we don't serve strings here,so back to the table tells his mates second one says I will try up to the bar three pots thanks the barman says I told your mate we don't serve strings here back to the table he go...

Olley46 · Olley46

A lizard walks into a bar and says one beer thanks ,the barman says we have a drink named after you,and the lizard Said what David. Lance C

Olley46 · Olley46

A lady walks into a bar and said to the barman three pots thanks ,barman sets up three pots she drinks two pots and tips the third one over her shoulder,this happened again,the barman couldn't help himself and asked why she would drink two and tip the third one over her shoulder, she said I just won tatt...

Duh · Duh

Subject: .... Hymn 365.. A minister was completing a temperance sermon and with great emphasis he said, 'If I had all the beer in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river.' With even greater emphasis he said, 'And if I had all the wine in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river.' And then fin...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	The Facelift... (Preview) The Facelift! A woman decided to have a face lift for her birthday, she spent $5000 and felt really good about the results. On her way home she stopped at a dress shop to look around. As she was leaving, she said to the sales clerk, I hope you dont mind me asking, but how old do you think I am? About 35, was the r...	Hoodathunkit	1	798	10:22 PM Mar 27, 2013 by biggles
	American and Aussie (Preview) The American skyting about a strong man they have in America ,he said he can go into the corner of a paddock grab a strainer post in his left hand a strainer post in his right hand throw them up above his head crash them together poof sawdust,the Aussie said that's nothing we have a strong man here he can go i...	Olley46	0	674	04:33 AM Mar 27, 2013 by Olley46
	sign sense (Preview) Did I read that sign right? In an office: TOILET OUT OF ORDER....... PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW In a Laundromat: AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT In a London department store: BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS In an office: WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADD...	spida	1	808	08:55 PM Mar 25, 2013 by jimbo
	Wise Italian Grandfather (Preview) Wise Italian Grandfather Why Italian Fathers and Grandfathers pass their handguns down through the family. An old Italian man is dying. He calls his grandson to his bedside, Guido, I wan' you lissina me. I wan' you to take-a my chrome plated .38 revolver so you will always remember me. "But gr...	Hoodathunkit	0	838	11:27 PM Mar 24, 2013 by Hoodathunkit
	Where is my Sunday Paper ? (Preview) This is dedicated to all of us who are seniors and to all of you who will become seniors."WHERE is my SUNDAY paper?!"The irate customer calling the newspaper office, loudly demanded to knowwhere her Sunday edition was."Madam," said the newspaper employee, "today is Sa...	Big Gorilla	0	881	04:54 PM Mar 23, 2013 by Big Gorilla
	nice try (Preview)	spida	0	792	04:37 PM Mar 23, 2013 by spida
	Hypocrites (Preview) People today are such hypocrites. First they say 'I'm so hungry I could eat a horse' then try to sue Tesco for giving them that opportunity	petengail	0	718	09:36 PM Mar 20, 2013 by petengail
	bats (Preview) well Did you know this about bats?The newsletter from Gardening Australia said: Put up a bat house to encourage the presence of these shy animals. Bats consume 3,000 or more mosquitoes and other insects nightly, and bats are less likely to be rabid than dogs are. Need another reason? Bats are respon...	Zoomtopz	10	1182	05:26 PM Mar 17, 2013 by Pinto
	Indian wisdom (Preview) Chief Running Horse commenting on daylight saving, "Why does white man think that cutting a foot off top of blanket and sewing on bottom, make day longer???"	Magnarc	0	823	04:07 PM Mar 16, 2013 by Magnarc
	Fifty Sheds of Grey..... (Preview) The novel Fifty Shades Of Grey has seduced women and baffled blokes. Now a spoof, Fifty Sheds Of Grey, offers a treat for the men. The book has author Colin Grey recounting his love encounters at the bottom of the garden. Here are some extracts... Fifty Sheds Of Grey We tried various positions round the...	Hoodathunkit	0	886	09:54 PM Mar 15, 2013 by Hoodathunkit
	Dolphins (Preview) I turned up at the Circus with my Wigwam and and my performing Dolphin for an Audition. The Manager of the Circus said " We need to run a few Checks, but to all in Tents and Porpoises the job is yours".	petengail	0	707	06:40 PM Mar 15, 2013 by petengail
	Wife gets what she wishes for... (Preview) One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very sexy nightie. "Tie me up," she purred, "And you can do anything you want." So he tied her up and went golfing.	petengail	0	680	10:07 PM Mar 14, 2013 by petengail
	You cant beat a Kiwi (Preview) CAN'T beat aKiwi!! AKiwi and an Aussie entered a chocolate shop As they were busy looking around, the Aussiestole 3 chocolate bars. As they left the store, the Aussie said to theKiwi "Man, I'm the best thief, I stole 3 chocolate bars and no one saw me. You can't beat that. " TheKiwi repl...	spida	1	870	03:24 AM Mar 15, 2013 by rockylizard
	Getting a beer (Preview) I walked into a pub and said to the barman, "XXXX please mate." He said, "Are you 18?" I said, "No." He said, "I can't serve you then." As I walked out I thought to myself, "This is the fourth pub - what does a 22 year old have to do to get a beer round here?...	petengail	1	803	02:43 AM Mar 15, 2013 by Pam
	Secrets to a happy marriage (Preview) Secrets to a Happy Marriage 1. It is important to find a woman that cooks and cleans. 2. It is important to find a woman that makes good money. 3. It is important to find a woman that likes to have sex. and MOST important... 4. It is important that these three women never meet	petengail	1	749	12:33 AM Mar 15, 2013 by Pinto
	Popes Farewell (Preview) Cracked me up!!	jules47	4	1006	12:03 PM Mar 14, 2013 by Magnarc
	Three strings (Preview) Three strings walk into a bar two sit at the table one goes to the bar,three pots thanks the barman said we don't serve strings here,so back to the table tells his mates second one says I will try up to the bar three pots thanks the barman says I told your mate we don't serve strings here back to the table he go...	Olley46	0	729	12:14 AM Mar 14, 2013 by Olley46
	Lizard (Preview) A lizard walks into a bar and says one beer thanks ,the barman says we have a drink named after you,and the lizard Said what David. Lance C	Olley46	0	883	12:01 AM Mar 14, 2013 by Olley46
	Drinks at the bar (Preview) A lady walks into a bar and said to the barman three pots thanks ,barman sets up three pots she drinks two pots and tips the third one over her shoulder,this happened again,the barman couldn't help himself and asked why she would drink two and tip the third one over her shoulder, she said I just won tatt...	Olley46	0	673	11:54 PM Mar 13, 2013 by Olley46
	Hymn 365...... (Preview) Subject: .... Hymn 365.. A minister was completing a temperance sermon and with great emphasis he said, 'If I had all the beer in the world, *I'd take it and pour it into the river.'* With even greater emphasis he said, 'And if I had all the wine in the world, *I'd take it and pour it into the river.'* And then fin...	Duh	3	1005	01:10 AM Mar 14, 2013 by jules47
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