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Grandparents Answering Machine
(Preview)
Grandparents Answering Machine] > > "Hello. You have reached Grandma and Grandpa. > We're not able to come to > the phone right now. If you are one of our > children, dial 1 and then > select f...
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robell
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0
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804
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Little Larry
(Preview)
Little Larry attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse's legs and rump, and chest.After a few minutes, Larry asked, Dad, why are you doing that?His father replied, Because when I'm buying horses, I have to make s...
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robell
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2
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868
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Studies have revealed...
(Preview)
Studies have revealed that the kind of face a woman finds attractive on a man can differ depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle. For example: if she is ovulating, she is attracted to men with rugged and masculine features. However, if she is menstruating or menopausal , she tends to be more att...
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Beth54
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4
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916
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Soap for sale.
(Preview)
http://www.ebay.com.au/itm/Arse-Face-Soap-/190532143252?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_15&hash=item2c5c99c894
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DandS
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1
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1129
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Too much drink
(Preview)
2 drunks visit a brothel. The Madam takes a look at them and says to her manager "go put inflatable dolls in 2 bedrooms, these guys are too drunk to notice". During the walk home one guy says " i think my girl was dead, she never moved or made a sound". The second guy says " I think...
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Loffty
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0
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738
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Cheap Backpacker Flights Around Oz
(Preview)
This is the latest airline to start up in Oz, offering cheap backpacker flights around the country;
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Vic
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3
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937
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HASTY;;
(Preview)
If you've ever worked for a boss who reacts before getting the facts and thinking things through, you will love this!Arcelor-Mittal Steel, feeling it was time for a shake-up, hired a new CEO. The new boss was determined to rid the company of all slackers. On a tour of the facilities, the CEO notice...
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justcruisin01
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1
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891
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The cat
(Preview)
A cat died and went to Heaven. God met her at the gates and said, 'You have been a good cat all these years. Anything you want is yours for the asking.'The cat thought for a minute and then said, 'All my life I lived on a farm and slept on hard wooden floors. I would like a real fluffy pillow to sleep on.' God sai...
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robell
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0
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619
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A wifes revenge
(Preview)
A Wife's Revenge: A wife arrived home and found her husband in bed with another woman. she drags him out of the house, into the too l shed in their back yard and put his penis in a vice. Securing it tightly and removing the handle, she then picked up a hacksaw. Terrified, her husband screamed, "Stop!...
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robell
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0
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780
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The Plane Crash
(Preview)
A large jet plane crashed on a farm in the middle of rural Australia. Panic stricken, the local police inspector mobilized and descended on the farm in force. By the time they got there, the aircraft was totally destroyed with only a burned hull left smoldering in a tree line that bordered the farm. The...
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JRH
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2
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795
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Always Use Your Glasses
(Preview)
A mate's daughter suggested he do something useful with his time. She suggested he go down to the senior centre and hang out with the guys. He did this, and when he got home he told her he had joined a parachute club. She said "Are you nuts? You're almost 75 years old and you're going to start jumping o...
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Cruising Granny
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1
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879
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Mammogram
(Preview)
And another one ...............Brings tears to the eyes.........!! For years and years they told me, Be careful of your breasts. Don't ever squeeze or bruise them. And give them monthly tests. So I heeded all their warnings, And protected them by law. Guarded them very carefully, And I always wor...
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jules47
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4
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1084
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C"Mon
(Preview)
C'mon peoples I need a laugh.....The Pies Got thrashed last week
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jimbo
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2
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734
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Man about the house
(Preview)
HUSBAND FINISHES READING THE BOOK "BE THE MAN OF YOUR HOUSE" & SAYS TO HIS WIFE, FROM NOW ON MY WORD IS LAW. YOU WILL PREPARE ME A GOURMET MEAL TONIGHT WITH A SCRUMPTIOUS DESSERT. AFTERWARDS WE WILL HAVE THE KIND OF SEX THAT I WANT. YOU WILL BATHE ME AS I RELAX, TOWEL DRY ME THEN MASSAGE MY FEE...
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robell
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2
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1025
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The A T M
(Preview)
MALE V FEMALE AT THE ATM A new sign in the Bank reads: 'Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing th...
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robell
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0
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797
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The Vet surgery
(Preview)
Just for you Jimbo - Three dogs were sitting in the waiting room at the vet's when they struck up a conversation. The Black Labrador turned to the yellow Labrador and said " So why are you here ? " The yellow Lab replied, " I'm a pisser. I piss on everything....the sofa, the curtains, the c...
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jules47
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1
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829
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Sympathy
(Preview)
Her boss asked sympathetically, 'What's the matter?' The blonde replies, 'Early this morning I got a phone call saying that my mother had passed away.' The boss, feeling sorry for her, says, 'Why don't you go home for the day? Take the day off to relax & rest.' 'Thanks, but I'd be better off here. I n...
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jules47
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0
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754
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Real Estate ?
(Preview)
Real EstateA businessman met a beautiful girl and agreed to spend the night with her for $500. They did their thing, and, before he left, he told her that he did not have any cash with him, but he would have his secretary write a check and mail it to her, calling the payment 'RENT FOR APARTMENT.On the way t...
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DandS
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1
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901
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Willy Peppers
(Preview)
Willy Peppers - Tears Of Joy - ..nature is very interesting ... For all the keen gardeners out there........... I have never seen a Willy Pepper before... These are actual peppers from a garden. They really are called 'WillyPeppers'.. By the way, the farmer says they can grow up to 18" long!!Sor...
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jules47
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8
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1737
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Brazilian
(Preview)
Seen on the back of a vehicle................ "Show me your Brazilian and I'll show you I'm Australian"
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JRH
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19
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1154
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