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Ex-benedict
(Preview)
-- Edited by spida on Friday 15th of February 2013 09:00:35 AM -- Edited by spida on Friday 15th of February 2013 09:03:51 AM
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The Parking Officer's Funeral As the coffin is being lowered into the ground at the Parking Officer's funeral, a voice from inside screams, "I'm not dead, I'm not dead! Let me out!" The Vicar smiles, leans forward, sucking air through his teeth, and mutters, "Too late pal, th...
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886
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Good advice, but too late.....
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The doctor said, 'Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition, which causes your testicles to press on your spine and the pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the te...
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Women really aren't that complicated if you follow these simple steps to getting your lady in the mood for loving.Leave the toilet seat up. She will thank you when she realizes that the exercise she gets from putting it down several times a day will stop her from developing the dreaded bingo wings.Ins...
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Whatever you give a woman, she will make it greater If you give her your sperm she will give you a baby If you give her a house she will give you a home If you give her groceries she will give you a meal If you give her a smile she will give you her heart So, if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of s........
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Women are Angels and when someone breaks our wings we simply continue to fly............usually on a broom stick..............we are flexible like that !
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Transplants.
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I man was walking along the beach, found a bottle, picked it up went to rub it clean ? and whooomf out popped a Genie ?? the Genie was most greatful, and said Thank you Very Much, I have been trapped in there for 1000 years ?? and for setting me free I will Grant you ONE WISH ??? The Man said, Hang on a minute ?? I k...
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I know all of you are very good drivers, so here is a fun test to see how good your speed is! The automobile driving manual says the average driver's reaction time is 0.75 seconds or 1 car length for every 10 mph. Test your average reaction time. Be careful, this can be addictive! You will be surprised at...
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A Blonde was sent on her way to Heaven. Upon arrival, a concerned St Peter met her at the Pearly Gates.'I'm sorry, 'St Peter said; 'but Heaven is suffering from an overload of goodly souls and we have been forced to put up an Entrance Exam for new arrivals to ease the burden of Heavenly Arrivals.''That's...
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Pet crab ?
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Looking back at 2012
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Crematorium
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754
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A farmer and his pig were driving down the road when a cop pulled him over. The cop asked the farmer, "Didn't you know it is against the law to ride with a pig in the front of you truck?" The farmer replied, "No, I didn't know that." The cop ask the farmer where he was going and he said, &...
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