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A 710
(Preview)
A few days ago I was having some work done at my local garage. A blonde came in and asked for a seven-hundred- ten. We all looked at each other and another customer asked, 'What is a seven-hundred- ten?' She replied, 'You know, the little piece in the middle of the engine, I have lost it and need a new one..'...
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jules47
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9
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1287
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SMART BISHOP;
(Preview)
Last Saturday afternoon, in Canberra , an aide to Foreign Minister Kevin Rudd visited the Bishop of the Catholic cathedral in Canberra . He told the Cardinal that Kevin would be attending the next day's Mass, and he asked if the Cardinal would kindly point him out to the congregation and say a few w...
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justcruisin01
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0
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909
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A question of price...
(Preview)
An old man is walking down the street one afternoon when he sees a woman with perfect breasts. He says to her, "Hey miss, would you let me BITE your breasts for $100?" "Are you nuts?!" she replies, and keeps walking away. He turns around, runs around the block and gets to the corner...
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gubby
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0
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779
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Smart Kid...
(Preview)
A first-grade teacher, Ms Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, 'Harry, what's your problem?' Harry answered, 'I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd grade too!' Ms. Brooks had had enough....
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gubby
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0
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568
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A Mothers Pain...
(Preview)
A mother passing by her son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made, and everything was picked up. Then, she saw an envelope propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, 'Mum'. With the worst premonition, she opened the envelope and read the letter, with trembling hands. 'D...
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jimbo
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3
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730
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Are they fair dinkum???
(Preview)
First: We are not advertising this nor are we associated with the company in any way. We received this email today. Syl thinks it would be creepy to use it.  http://www.dealme.com.au/deal/national/1495-boyfriend-pillow/
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DandS
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4
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850
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THE PARKING TICKET
(Preview)
Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting. Well, for example, the other day, Mary my wife and I went into town and visited a shop. When we came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket. We went up to him and I said, 'Come on, man, how about giving a seni...
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Beth54
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2
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1092
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Aussie Reunion...
(Preview)
Rachel, Clare and Samantha haven't seen each other since School. They rediscover each other via a reunion website and arrange to meet for lunch in a wine bar. Rachel arrives first, wearing an Alannah Hill outfit. She orders a bottle of Pinot Grigio. Clare arrives shortly afterward, in Sass & Bid...
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Travel Bug
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4
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1419
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Tarzan and Jane...
(Preview)
When Jane first met Tarzan in the jungle, she was attracted to him, during her questions about his life, she asked how he had sex. "Tarzan not know sex," Jane explained to him what sex was. Tarzan said "Tarzan use knot hole in trunk of tree." Jane said, "Tarzan you have it all...
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Travel Bug
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2
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815
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Julie Andrew's
(Preview)
Julie Andrews Turns 70, this is brilliant! To commemorate her birthday , actress/vocalist, Julie Andrews made a special appearance at Manhattann bsp;'s Radio City Music Hall for the benefit of the AARP.. One of the musical numbers she performed was 'My Favourite Things' from the legendary movie '...
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robell
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0
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850
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Wonders of wine
(Preview)
Image the scene. An elderly couple sitting on the verandah. She is quaffing white wine. The wife says. If you were to leave me I would pine and die without the pleasure of your uplifting company The husband looks at her quizzically, and said Is that you or the wine talking? Neither she said. Im talking to...
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oldphartz
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4
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1022
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Attitude Adjustment
(Preview)
Jimmy received a parrot for his birthday. The parrot was fully grown, with a very bad attitude and worse vocabulary. Every other word was an expletive; those that weren't expletives were, to say the least, rude. Jimmy tried to change the bird's attitude by constantly saying polite words, playing so...
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Travel Bug
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0
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746
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Dog for sale
(Preview)
DOG FOR SALE: A guy is driving around the back woods of Montana and he sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house: 'Talking Dog For Sale 'He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retri...
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robell
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0
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691
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Confucious say.....
(Preview)
Confucious says "man who put cream in tart... not nessessarly baker" ....
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jules47
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5
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1080
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How Irish dancing started
(Preview)
http://videos2view.net/irish-dance.htm
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robell
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2
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865
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Latest Study
(Preview)
A 2007 study found that the average Australian walks about 900 miles a year. Another study found that the average Australian drinks 22 gallons of beer a year. That means the average Australian gets about 41 miles per gallon. Bloody good value that!
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jules47
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2
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784
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CRISIS!
(Preview)
If the global crisis continues at the present rate, by the end of this year only two banks will be left operational ..... the Blood Bank and the Sperm Bank! And before you know it, these two will merge, and the whole place will be full of bloody wankers.
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justcruisin01
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1
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853
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rabbits
(Preview)
A precious little girl walks into a PetSmart store and asks,in the sweetest little lisp, between two missing teeth,"Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep widdle wabbits?"As the shopkeeper's heart melts, he gets down on his knees so that he's on her level and asks,"Do you want a widdle...
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robell
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1
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842
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Dog Lover
(Preview)
A dog lover, whose dog was a female and "in heat', agreed to look after her neighbours male dog while the Neighbours were on vacation. She had a large house and believed that she could keep the two dogs apart. However, as she was drifting off to sleep she heard awful howling and moaning sounds, rush...
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jimbo
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0
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660
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One More
(Preview)
· "I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." - Groucho Marx
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jimbo
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2
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865
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