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When I am gone...............
(Preview)
The longer you have been married, the funnier and more poignant this will be to you - Sitting at the breakfast table one morning, my husband said to me - "Darling, when I am gone, I want you to sell all my stuff." "Why would you want me to do that?" I asked. "Well, I wouldn't want...
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jules47
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1
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787
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Messed up -
(Preview)
Pooh-bear has an eating disorder, Piglet has anxiety, Eeyore has depression, Rabbit has OCD, Tigger has ADHD and our parents wonder why we're so messed up...
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jules47
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0
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654
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And the winner is
(Preview)
HOW TO CALL THE POLICE WHEN YOU'RE OLD AND DON'T MOVE FAST ANYMORE. George, an elderly man, from Lithgow, NSW, was going up to bed, when his wife told him that she could see the light on in the garden shed. George opened the back door to go turn off the light, but saw that there were two men stealing stuff...
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robell
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3
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825
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OYSTERS;
(Preview)
Paddy was a youthful and hard working Irishman at a Coastal village in Ireland . Daily he would pole a heavy old punt out to sea then work a heavy iron grapple to bring up the sand oysters which he sold to the local ice works. He was a man of regular habits he always arrived home each day at a certain time...
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justcruisin01
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0
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745
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ROMANCE & FOOD;
(Preview)
The couple were 85 years old and had been married for sixty years. Though they were far from rich, they managed to get by because they watched their pennies. Though not young, they were both in very good health, largely due to the wife's insistence on healthy foods and exercise for the last dec...
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justcruisin01
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0
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767
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Blonde Swimmer
(Preview)
*A man met a beautiful blonde lady and decided he wanted to marry her right away.** *She said, 'But we don't know anything about each other..'* *He said, 'That's all right, we'll learn about each other as we go along.'* *So she consented, they were married, and off they went on a honeymoon at a very nice r...
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jules47
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3
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1015
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lonely
(Preview)
An interstate truck driver had been on the road full time for nearly 5 months without a break. so here pulls into a small country town, goes to the local brothel, Puts $1000.oo on the counter and says to the Madam,, I want the Fattest, Ugliest, Bitch of a Hore you have got in this place, and i also want 2 Lamb...
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dazren
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1
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868
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UNDENIABLE FACT ???
(Preview)
I was walking along the beach and found buried in the sand a large green bottle ??? Well as you do i picked it up, and screwed of the lid and WHOOOSH ?? out popped a Genie !!! The genie said thankyou, i have been trapped in there for 1000 years, and for letting me free I hereby grant you one wish. Well i know this...
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dazren
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1
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779
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Five passengers, Four Parachutes.
(Preview)
An aeroplane was about to crash; there were 5 passengers on board, but only 4 parachutes. The first passenger said, "I am President Obama, the chosen one. The world needs me, I can't afford to die." So he took the first parachute and left the aircra...
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DandS
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0
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630
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SURFING THE TV;
(Preview)
An elderly married couple was at home watching TV. The husband had the remote and was switching back and forth between a fishing channel and the porn channel. The wife became more and more annoyed and finally said: "For god's sake! Leave it on the porn channel. You already know how to fish!&quo...
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justcruisin01
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0
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591
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Londons NEW Olympic Logo released
(Preview)
Here is Londons New Olympic Logo
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Dunco
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0
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698
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Swimsuit Fitting
(Preview)
This is enough to make your eyebrows furrow.   The Bathing Suit (by 'Unknown', a middle-age woman)  When I was a teenager in the 1950s, the bathing suit for the mature figure was boned, trussed and reinforced, not so much sewn as engineered. They were built to hold back a...
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Cruising Granny
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4
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1217
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NOW THAT'S A BALLOON
(Preview)
Possibly seen at Mareeba?
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Palebushman
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1
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923
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ADMINISTRATION STUPIDITY
(Preview)
That's an incredible example of administration stupidity where costs a lot of money. LIFE IN AUSTRALIA On Thursday, 24th January 2002 , Derek Guille broadcast this story on his afternoon program on ABC radio. In March 1999 a man living in Kandos (near Mudgee in NSW, Australia ) received a bill for hi...
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Cruising Granny
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5
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1233
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Free Camera
(Preview)
Got a phone call from my mate last night. He had just got back from a day out in London and told me that whilst there he'd acquired a brand new top of the range camera absolutely free. I asked, ''How did you get that?'' He said, ''I met a very nice family from Japan whilst I was in Trafalgar square and was just p...
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Kev-Maz
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4
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804
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err
(Preview)
Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years, they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards. One day, they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, "Now don't...
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robell
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0
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743
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choices
(Preview)
A little old lady was going up and down the halls in a nursing home. As she walked, she would flip up the hem of her nightgown and say "Supersex." She walked up to an elderly man in a wheelchair. Flipping her gown at him, she said,"Supersex." He sat silently for a moment or two and f...
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robell
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0
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740
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Toilet Paper ????
(Preview)
A husband is looking at his credit card statement and notices an amount of $360 and asks his wife about the charge. She answers, "I purchased some lotion". "Lotion" he yells, "what lotion costs $360" His wife explains that the lotion is for her breasts and if she co...
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DandS
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3
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740
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An Aussie will get thru anything with a decent Laugh.
(Preview)
Yes I am sensitive to People who are still hurting.I think they will have a chuckle at this tho.During the recent flood in a small Queensland town, a young girl was perched on top of a house with a little boy. As they sat watching articles float by in the water, they noticed an old hat go past..Suddenly, th...
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Zoomtopz
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5
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985
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my new job
(Preview)
My one day of employmentSo after landing my new job as a Bunnings greeter (a good find for many retirees), I lasted less than a day ................... About two hours into my first day on the job a very loud, unattractive, mean, woman walked into the store with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them...
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jules47
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1
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660
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