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Signs on Doors
(Preview)
Sign over a Gynecologist's Office:"Dr. Jones, at your cervix." ************************** In a Podiatrist's office: "Time wounds all heels." ************************** On a Septic Tank Truck: Yesterday's Meals on Wheels ************************** At a Proctolog...
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sucastja
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0
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1039
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Turkey
(Preview)
Shot my first turkey yesterday. Scared the hell out of everyone in the frozen food section.
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rockylizard
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0
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1062
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Birth & Pain
(Preview)
A married couple went to the hospital to have their baby delivered. Upon their arrival, the doctor said that the hospital was testing an amazing new high-tech machine that would transfer a portion of the mother's labour pain to the baby's father. He asked if they were interested. Both said they were v...
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Hoodathunkit
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0
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918
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Smart kid Eric...
(Preview)
As we Silver Surfers know, sometimes we have trouble with our computers.I had a problem yesterday, so I called Eric, the 11 year old next door, whose bedroom looks like Mission Control and asked him to come over.Eric clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem.As he was walking away, I called af...
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Hoodathunkit
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0
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839
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50 shades of Frankston.
(Preview)
As I stood in line at Centrelink thinking up reasons why I couldnt work a sweet smell drifted past my pig like nostrils. It was a mixture of weed, sweat and Lynx Africa. I turned and there he was, Dwayne, with his pants half way down his arse, our eyes met and even though he only had one tattoo I yearned for hi...
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ozi2
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2
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1977
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THE GAY COWBOY;
(Preview)
A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife. She was a very good-looking woman and determined to keep the ranch, but knew very little about ranching, so she decided to place an ad in the newspaper for a ranch hand... Two cowboys applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drun...
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justcruisin01
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2
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958
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I had a busy day today !!!
(Preview)
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Big Gorilla
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0
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833
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Washing the cat
(Preview)
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Hylda&Jon
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1
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711
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Me a dog person?......Ya think?
(Preview)
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Spook
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1
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907
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This long but interesting ....
(Preview)
Where did piss poor come from ? We older people need to learn something new every day...Just to keep the grey matter tuned up.Where did "Piss Poor" come from?Interesting History.They used to use urine to tan animal skins, so families used to all pee in a pot.And then once it was full it was ta...
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Hoodathunkit
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0
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925
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The Camel
(Preview)
A new Army Captain was assigned to an outfit in a remote post in the Afghan Desert . During his first inspection of the outfit, he noticed a camel hitched up behind the mess tent. He asked the Sergeant why the camel was kept there. The nervous sergeant said, 'Sir, as you know, there are 250 men here on the po...
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hammer
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0
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819
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Sleeping with John.........With age comes wisdom
(Preview)
SLEEPING WITH JOHN The guys were on a bike tour. No one wanted to room with John, because he snored so badly. They decided it wasn't fair to make one of them stay with him the whole time, so they voted to take turns. The first guy slept with John and comes to breakfast the next morning with his hair a mess and h...
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hammer
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0
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706
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DOLLY VERSES ELIZABETH;
(Preview)
The Queen & Dolly Go To Heaven! Queen ElizabethandDolly Partondie on the same day and they both gobefore an Angel to find out if they'll be admitted to Heaven.Unfortunately, there's only one space left that day,so the Angel must decide which of themgets in.The Angel asks Dolly if there's some...
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justcruisin01
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2
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1012
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A worth while bet;
(Preview)
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * An elderly woman walked into the Bank of Canada one morning with a purse full of money... She wanted to open a savings account and insisted on talking to the president of the Bank because, she said, she had a lot of money. After many lengthy discussions (after all, the client is always r...
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justcruisin01
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2
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823
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It was a dark and stormy night. . . . .
(Preview)
Bob Hill and his new wife, Betty, are vacationing in Europe, near Transylvania. They drive in a rental car along a rather deserted highway. It is late, raining very hard and Bob can barely see the road in front of the car. Suddenly, the car skids out of control. Bob attempts to control it, but to no avail....
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BohemianGypsy
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2
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1489
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Every now and then a classic turns up
(Preview)
My wife was screaming at me: "Leave!! Get out of this house!" she ordered. As I was walking out the door she yelled, "I hope you die a slow and painful death!" So I turned around and replied "So now you want me to stay?"
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hammer
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0
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671
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No one believes seniors . . . Everyone thinks they are senile.
(Preview)
An elderly couple was celebrating their sixtieth anniversary. The couple had married as childhood sweethearts and had moved back to their old neighbourhood after they retired. Holding hands, they walked back to their old school. It was not locked, so they entered, and found the old desk theyd shar...
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hammer
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0
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864
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The Pope and the rugby fan
(Preview)
The Pope was cruising along the beach in the Pope-mobile when there was a frantic commotion just off-shore. A helpless man, wearing an English rugby jersey, was struggling frantically to free himself from the jaws of a 25 foot shark. As the Pope watched in horror, a speedboat pulled up with two men we...
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Grahame Readwin
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0
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1013
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... another musical!
(Preview)
Everyone knows about Al Capone and John Dillinger, but a lesser known gangster of American folklore was the 'Lizzard'. He got this name through an unfortunate childhood accident which resulted in him having a split lip.At the time of J Edgar Hoovers FBI purge against public enemies the G men were luc...
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Grahame Readwin
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0
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780
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Sensitive;
(Preview)
Sensitive Australian Males Three Aussie blokes working up on an outback mobile phone tower: Mongrel, Coot and Bluey. As they start their descent, Coot slips, falls off the tower and is killed instantly. As the ambulance takes his body away, Bluey says, 'Well, bugger me, someone's gotta go and tell...
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justcruisin01
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0
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899
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