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Cop wants an excuse
(Preview)
A man was driving home late one afternoon, and he was driving above the speed limit. He notices a police car with its red lights on in his rear view mirror. He thinks "I can outrun this guy," so he floors it and the race is on. The cars are racing down the highway -- 60, 70, 80, 90 miles an hour. Fina...
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old briney
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2
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867
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Police Chase
(Preview)
Two Queensland Police Officers were chasing a Camaro south on Highway 1 toward Tweed Heads. When the suspect crossed the NSW border, the first officer pulled over quickly. The rookie officer pulled in behind him and said, "Hey, sarge, why did you stop?" The sarge replied, "...
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old briney
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0
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594
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RECOMMENDATION;
(Preview)
LETTER OF RECOMMENDATION 1 Trevor Adams, my assistant programmer, can always be found 2 hard at work in his cubicle. Trevor works independently, without 3 wasting company time talking to colleagues. Trevor never 4 thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and he always...
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justcruisin01
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1
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895
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Hmm!!
(Preview)
-- Edited by thommo on Tuesday 1st of November 2011 12:29:35 PM
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thommo
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0
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545
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AN AUSSIE POEM;
(Preview)
They were funny looking buildings, that were once a way of life, If you couldn't sprint the distance, then you really were in strife.They were nailed, they were wired, but were mostly falling down, There was one in every yard, in every house, in every town.They were given many names, some were e...
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justcruisin01
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8
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2100
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CENTRELINK:
(Preview)
Collingwood Centrelink office, A woman walks into the Collingwood Centrelink office, trailed by 15 kids . . .. 'WOW,' the social worker exclaims, 'Are they ALL yours?' 'Yeah, they are all mine,' the flustered mother sighs, having heard that question a thousand times before. She says, 'Sit down T...
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justcruisin01
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0
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1080
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Qantas again
(Preview)
Tony Abbott was on the news before. He was in quite a fluster, saying "No no no, you've got it all wrong, I said stop the BOATS!!!!!!!"
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Dave83
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0
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635
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Qantas
(Preview)
I heard today that Qantas are changing their logo from the flying Kangaroo to an Emu. Apparently they though that a flightless bird was more appropriate
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Dave83
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0
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741
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CAKE OR BED;
(Preview)
A HUSBAND IS AT HOME WATCHING A FOOTBALL GAME WHEN HIS WIFE INTERRUPTS, HONEY, COULD YOU FIX THE LIGHT IN THE HALLWAY? IT'S BEEN FLICKERING FOR WEEKS NOW. HE LOOKS AT HER AND SAYS ANGRILY, FIX THE LIGHTS NOW? DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE ENERGEX WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD? I DON'T THINK SO. FINE, THEN THE W...
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justcruisin01
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0
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738
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THE KNOB
(Preview)
The Knob A woman visited a plastic surgeon who told her about anew procedure called 'The Knob,' where a smallknob is placed at the top of the woman's head andcould be turned to tighten up her skin and produce theeffect of a brand new face-lift. Of course, the womanwanted 'The Knob.' Over the cour...
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justcruisin01
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0
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606
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LIFE;
(Preview)
God created the dog and said: 'Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years.' The dog said: 'That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?' So God agreed. Then God creat...
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justcruisin01
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1
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997
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EIGHT;
(Preview)
To Be 8 again! A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, watching his wife, who was looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was not far off he asked what she'd like to have for her birthday. 'I'd like to be eight again', she replied, still looking in the mirror . On the morning of her Birthday...
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justcruisin01
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0
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823
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Paddy McCoy
(Preview)
Paddy McCoy, an elderly Irish farmer, received a letter from the Department for Work & Pensions stating that they suspected he was not paying his employees the statutory minimum wage and they would send an inspector to interview them.On the appointed day, the inspector turned up. "Tel...
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Fairy-Nuff
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1
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996
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THE PUMPKIN
(Preview)
Police work must be entertaining as well as dangerous. In summary, the police arrested Patrick Lawrence, 22 year old white male, in a pumpkin patch 12.01 A.M. On Friday. On Monday, at the Gwinnett County (Georgia) Courthouse, Lawrence was charged with lewd and lascivious Behaviour, public in...
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clazandaza
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0
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765
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PASS PORT;
(Preview)
A traveller through England on vacation lost his wallet and all of his identification. Cutting his trip short, he attempted to make his way home but was stopped by the Australian Customs Agents at the airport. "May I see your identification, please?" asked the agent."I'm sorry...
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justcruisin01
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0
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805
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THE PROVIDER;
(Preview)
A nice Jewish girl brings home her fiancé to meet her parents. After dinner, her mother tells her father to find out about the young man. He invites the fiancé to his study for schnapps. "So what are your plans?" the father asks the fiancé. "I am a Torah scholar," he replies. &quo...
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justcruisin01
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0
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667
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What does CHOGM stand for?
(Preview)
Cheap Holiday on Government Money
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Dave83
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1
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933
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HOW TO ID FLIES;
(Preview)
A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter 'What are you doing?' She asked. 'Hunting Flies' He responded. 'Oh ! Killing any?' She asked. 'Yep, 3 males, 2 Females,' he replied. Intrigued, she asked. 'How can you tell them apart?' He responded, '3 were on a beer...
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justcruisin01
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0
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697
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CROC SHOES;
(Preview)
A blonde was on holiday and driving through Darwin. She desperately wanted to take home a pair of genuine crocodile shoes but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking. After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle on prices" attitude of one of the sho...
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justcruisin01
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0
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860
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ADAM & EVE;
(Preview)
Adam and Eve A little girl asked her mother, "How did the human race start?" The mother answered, "God made Adam and Eve and they had children, and so all mankind was made." Two days later the girl asked her father the same question. The father answered, "...
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justcruisin01
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0
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698
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