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The 3rd Affair
(Preview)
A mortician was working late one night. He examined the body of Mr. Schwartz, about to be cremated, and made a startling discovery. Schwartz had the largest private part he had ever seen! 'I'm sorry Mr. Schwartz,' the mortician commented, 'I can't allow you to be cremated with such an impre...
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oldrtvute
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0
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638
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The 2nd Affair
(Preview)
A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters but always talked about having a son. They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted. The wife got pregnant and delivered a healthy baby boy. The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son. He was horrified at the ugl...
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oldrtvute
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0
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624
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affair No1
(Preview)
A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day they went to her place and made love all afternoon. Exhausted, they fell asleep and woke up at 8 PM. The man hurriedly dressed and told his lover to take his shoes outside and rub them in the grass and dirt. He put on his sho...
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oldrtvute
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0
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651
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Golf Balls & Buttercups
(Preview)
Towards the end of a round of golf, Dave hit his ball into the woods and found it in a patch of pretty yellow buttercups. Trying to get his ball back in play, he ended up thrashing just about every buttercup in the patch. All of a sudden, POOF! In a flash and puff of smoke, a little old woman appeared. She said...
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Cruising Granny
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2
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953
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PERFECT BRIAN
(Preview)
A man walked out to the street and caught a taxi just going by. He got into the taxi, and the cabbie said, "Perfect timing. You're just like Brian" Passenger: "Who?" Cabbie: "Brian Sullivan. He's a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you need...
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Cruising Granny
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3
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933
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Quickies - some old, some new....
(Preview)
A mate of mine recently admitted to being addicted to brake fluid. When I quizzed...
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Peterpan
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1
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864
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Respectful
(Preview)
Two friends are fishing near a bridge. Suddenly a Hearse and two Funeral Cars go over the bridge so one of the men stands up, takes off his cap and bows his head. When the cars have gone he puts his cap back on, sits back down and carries on fishing. His mate turns to him and says, "Dave, that's on...
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robell
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1
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866
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Amazing Anagrams
(Preview)
This has got to be one of the cleverest E-mails I've received in a while. Someone out there must be "deadly" at Scrabble. (Wait till you see the last one!) PRESBYTERIAN: When you rearrange the letters: BEST IN PRAYER ASTRONOMER: When you rearrange the letters: MOON STARER DE...
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robell
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2
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839
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Donald Duck and Daisy Duck
(Preview)
Donald Duck and Daisy Duck were spending the night together in a hotel room and Donald wanted to have sex with Daisy. The first thing Daisy asked was, "Do you have a condom?" Donald frowned and said, "No." Daisy told Donald that if he didn't get a condom, they could not have sex. &q...
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jimricho
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2
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872
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OH! Father
(Preview)
Two priests are in a Vatican bathroom using the urinals. One of them looks at the other one's penis and notices there's a Nicotine patch on it.. He looks at the other priest and says, 'I believe you're supposed to put that patch on your arm or shoulder, not your penis..' The other one replies, 'It's work...
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jimbo
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0
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688
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Making A Baby
(Preview)
The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, 'Well, I'm off now. The man should be here soon.' Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photogr...
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Cruising Granny
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2
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892
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A Couple of quickies
(Preview)
I was in the pub with my wife last night and I said, I love you. She said, Is that you or the beer talking? I replied, Its me talking to the beer. My wife has been missing a week now. Police said to prepare for the worst. So I have been to the charity shop to get all her clothes back.
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Peterpan
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1
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880
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Bunnings Scam
(Preview)
Bunnings Scam A 'heads up' for those men who may be regular Bunnings customers. This one caught me by surprise. Over the last month I became a victim of a clever scam while out shopping. Simply going out to get trade supplies has turned out to be quite traumatic. Don't be naive enough to think it couldn't...
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gubby
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2
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1828
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Wombat's Family Photo
(Preview)
What a lovely looking bunch....
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gubby
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4
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872
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MUSHROOM JOKE
(Preview)
What do ya call a mushroom with a 9" penis.... A Fungi to be with.......... sorry...... Hoo Roo Happy Days Grumpster
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GrumpyOne
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1
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1235
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Wife Swapping
(Preview)
Went to a wife swapping party the other night and it was great... I got a 1/2" socket set and a battery drill for the old girl......
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gubby
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2
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2768
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A little known fact
(Preview)
A little known fact The first testicular guard was used in cricket in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. It took 100 years for men to realize that their brain could also be important.
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robell
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4
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848
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how to give a cata pill
(Preview)
How To Give A Cat A Pill 1. Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop...
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oldrtvute
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0
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861
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gynecologist
(Preview)
A gynecologist decided that he would like a change in careers and so he got a job as a apprentice motor mechanic at the local garage . All went well as he enjoyed the job and as a result got good reports from all the costumers about the quality of his work . At the end of his apprenticeship there w...
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oldrtvute
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0
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931
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Blond Joke
(Preview)
A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, 'Please come over here and help > me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get > started.' > > Her boyfriend asks, 'What is it supposed to be when it's finished?' > > The blonde says, 'According to the picture on the box, it's...
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Peterpan
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6
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890
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