Just Joking

jules47 · jules47

A woman was having a daytime affair while her husband was at work. One rainy > day she was in bed with her boyfriend when, to her horror, she heard her > husband's car pull into the driveway. > > > 'Oh my God - Hurry! Grab your clothes and jump out the window. My husband's > home early!' &...

jules47 · jules47

A tourist in Vienna is going through a graveyard and all of a sudden he hears some music. No one is around, so he starts searching for the source. He finally locates the origin and finds it is coming from a grave with a headstone that reads "Ludwig van Beethoven, 1770-1827". Then he realizes t...

Zoomtopz · Zoomtopz

I'm going to get bashed this time Scientists have Finally found out what is Wrong with th Female Brain On th left side there is nothing right On th right side there is nothing left Richo

Wombat 280 · Wombat 280

Three mischievous old Grannies were sitting on a bench outside a nursing home. When an old Grandpa walked by. And one of the old Grandmas yelled out saying, "We bet we can tell exactly how old you are." The old man said, "There is no way you can guess it, you old fools." One o...

Zoomtopz · Zoomtopz

Our birthdays run in quick succession . Last week it was my sons birthday , I got him an iPod The other day it was my daughters birthday , I got her an iPhone , she hasn't been off it . Over the weekend it was my birthday , th family got me an iPad Today it is my wifes birthday , I got her an iRon That's when i...

ozi2 · ozi2

Mohammed the Pakistani was in Oz for a few months when he became very ill. He visited Dr after Dr but none could help him. Finally, he went to an arab Dr who said: take this bucket, go into the other room, crap into the bucket, pee on it and then put your head down over the bucket for 10 mins and breathe in the fu...

sucastja · sucastja

LOG ON: Adding wood to the campfire. LOG OFF: Not adding any more wood to the campfire. MONITOR: Keeping an eye on the campfire. DOWNLOAD: Getting the firewood off the Ute. HARD DRIVE: Making the trip back home without any cold tinnies. KEYBOARD: Where you hang the Ute keys. WINDOW: What you shut when t...

Peterpan · Peterpan

A man was leaving a convenience store with his morning coffee when he noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery. A black hearse was followed by a second black hearse about 50 Feet behind the first one. Behind the second hearse was a solitary man walking a dog on a leash....

oldrtvute · oldrtvute

ADVICE FROM A RETIRED HUSBAND It is important for men to remember that, as women grow older, it becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as when they were younger. When you notice this, try not to yell at them. Some are oversensitive, and there's nothing worse than an over...

Cruising Granny · Cruising Granny

ALRIGHT, who's the wise ass that sent this to me? WHOEVER SENT IT, send it to SOMEONE that COULD benefit from it, OKAY!

Peterpan · Peterpan

A little old lady was wandering through a town and was quite lost. She wanted to ask for directions so went to a house that was painted red. She knocked on the red door and it was answered by a man dressed in red slippers, a red dressing gown and red cap. She asked for directions to the nearest bus station. T...

_wombat_ · _wombat_

this may have been seen before Subject: 86-year old lady's letter to bank shown below, is an actual letter that was sent to a bank by an 86 year old woman. The bank manager thought it amusing enough to have it published in the New York Times. Dear Sir: I am writing to thank you for bouncing my check with whi...

jimbo · jimbo

The police recently busted a man selling tablets he said gave him eternal youth. When going through their files they noticed it was the fourth time he was caught for doing this. He had earlier been arrested in 1794, 1856 and 1928..........

sucastja · sucastja

One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift... The next year, I didn't buy her a gift. When she asked me why, I replied, "Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"

jimbo · jimbo

After an examination, the doctor said to his patient: "You appear to be in good health. Do you have any medical concerns you would like to ask me about?" "In fact, I do." said the old man. "After my wife and I have sex, I'm usually cold and chilly; and then, after I have sex with...

Cruising Granny · Cruising Granny

In Lebanon, men are legally allowed to have sex with animals, but the animals must be female. Having sexual relations with a male animal is punishable by death. (Like THAT makes sense!) *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* In Bahrain, a male doctor may legally examine a woman's genitals, but is prohibited from loo...

jimbo · jimbo

A man on his Harley was riding along on a California beach when suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, God said to him, 'Because you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish.' The biker pulled over and said, 'Lord, please build a bridge to Hawaii so I can r...

oldrtvute · oldrtvute

A mortician was working late one night. He examined the body of Mr. Schwartz, about to be cremated, and made a startling discovery. Schwartz had the largest private part he had ever seen! 'I'm sorry Mr. Schwartz,' the mortician commented, 'I can't allow you to be cremated with such an impre...

oldrtvute · oldrtvute

A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters but always talked about having a son. They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted. The wife got pregnant and delivered a healthy baby boy. The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son. He was horrified at the ugl...

oldrtvute · oldrtvute

A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day they went to her place and made love all afternoon. Exhausted, they fell asleep and woke up at 8 PM. The man hurriedly dressed and told his lover to take his shoes outside and rub them in the grass and dirt. He put on his sho...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Nude Runner (Preview) A woman was having a daytime affair while her husband was at work. One rainy > day she was in bed with her boyfriend when, to her horror, she heard her > husband's car pull into the driveway. > > > 'Oh my God - Hurry! Grab your clothes and jump out the window. My husband's > home early!' &...	jules47	0	1270	10:04 PM Jul 12, 2011 by jules47
	Beethoven (Preview) A tourist in Vienna is going through a graveyard and all of a sudden he hears some music. No one is around, so he starts searching for the source. He finally locates the origin and finds it is coming from a grave with a headstone that reads "Ludwig van Beethoven, 1770-1827". Then he realizes t...	jules47	4	928	09:53 PM Jul 12, 2011 by jules47
	Right & left or left & right (Preview) I'm going to get bashed this time Scientists have Finally found out what is Wrong with th Female Brain On th left side there is nothing right On th right side there is nothing left Richo	Zoomtopz	0	596	09:30 PM Jul 12, 2011 by Zoomtopz
	Alzheimers (Preview) Three mischievous old Grannies were sitting on a bench outside a nursing home. When an old Grandpa walked by. And one of the old Grandmas yelled out saying, "We bet we can tell exactly how old you are." The old man said, "There is no way you can guess it, you old fools." One o...	Wombat 280	0	650	07:40 PM Jul 12, 2011 by Wombat 280
	How it started (Preview) Our birthdays run in quick succession . Last week it was my sons birthday , I got him an iPod The other day it was my daughters birthday , I got her an iPhone , she hasn't been off it . Over the weekend it was my birthday , th family got me an iPad Today it is my wifes birthday , I got her an iRon That's when i...	Zoomtopz	1	566	05:53 PM Jul 12, 2011 by jimbo
	holistic medicine (Preview) Mohammed the Pakistani was in Oz for a few months when he became very ill. He visited Dr after Dr but none could help him. Finally, he went to an arab Dr who said: take this bucket, go into the other room, crap into the bucket, pee on it and then put your head down over the bucket for 10 mins and breathe in the fu...	ozi2	1	738	04:11 PM Jul 12, 2011 by jimbo
	A bit of Aussie Culture (Preview) LOG ON: Adding wood to the campfire. LOG OFF: Not adding any more wood to the campfire. MONITOR: Keeping an eye on the campfire. DOWNLOAD: Getting the firewood off the Ute. HARD DRIVE: Making the trip back home without any cold tinnies. KEYBOARD: Where you hang the Ute keys. WINDOW: What you shut when t...	sucastja	3	1088	05:51 PM Jul 10, 2011 by jules47
	The Funeral (Preview) A man was leaving a convenience store with his morning coffee when he noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery. A black hearse was followed by a second black hearse about 50 Feet behind the first one. Behind the second hearse was a solitary man walking a dog on a leash....	Peterpan	1	644	05:16 PM Jul 7, 2011 by jules47
	ADVICE FROM A RETIRED HUSBAND (Preview) ADVICE FROM A RETIRED HUSBAND It is important for men to remember that, as women grow older, it becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as when they were younger. When you notice this, try not to yell at them. Some are oversensitive, and there's nothing worse than an over...	oldrtvute	1	1038	06:24 PM Jul 6, 2011 by Cruising Granny
	Senior Signs (Preview) ALRIGHT, who's the wise ass that sent this to me? WHOEVER SENT IT, send it to SOMEONE that COULD benefit from it, OKAY!	Cruising Granny	16	1169	06:15 PM Jul 6, 2011 by Cruising Granny
	A Twisted Tale (Preview) A little old lady was wandering through a town and was quite lost. She wanted to ask for directions so went to a house that was painted red. She knocked on the red door and it was answered by a man dressed in red slippers, a red dressing gown and red cap. She asked for directions to the nearest bus station. T...	Peterpan	1	927	01:29 PM Jul 6, 2011 by jimbo
	Letter to Bank Manager (Preview) this may have been seen before Subject: 86-year old lady's letter to bank shown below, is an actual letter that was sent to a bank by an 86 year old woman. The bank manager thought it amusing enough to have it published in the New York Times. Dear Sir: I am writing to thank you for bouncing my check with whi...	_wombat_	0	876	07:59 AM Jul 5, 2011 by _wombat_
	Will this bloke ever learn (Preview) The police recently busted a man selling tablets he said gave him eternal youth. When going through their files they noticed it was the fourth time he was caught for doing this. He had earlier been arrested in 1794, 1856 and 1928..........	jimbo	1	808	07:21 PM Jul 4, 2011 by robell
	Gift for Mother in Law (Preview) One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift... The next year, I didn't buy her a gift. When she asked me why, I replied, "Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"	sucastja	0	632	07:08 PM Jul 4, 2011 by sucastja
	Hot & Cold (Preview) After an examination, the doctor said to his patient: "You appear to be in good health. Do you have any medical concerns you would like to ask me about?" "In fact, I do." said the old man. "After my wife and I have sex, I'm usually cold and chilly; and then, after I have sex with...	jimbo	1	860	09:34 PM Jul 3, 2011 by Cruising Granny
	PROOF That The World Is Nuts! (Preview) In Lebanon, men are legally allowed to have sex with animals, but the animals must be female. Having sexual relations with a male animal is punishable by death. (Like THAT makes sense!) ~~~~~~~~~ In Bahrain, a male doctor may legally examine a woman's genitals, but is prohibited from loo...	Cruising Granny	0	911	09:47 PM Jun 30, 2011 by Cruising Granny
	The Bridge (Preview) A man on his Harley was riding along on a California beach when suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, God said to him, 'Because you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish.' The biker pulled over and said, 'Lord, please build a bridge to Hawaii so I can r...	jimbo	2	815	09:15 PM Jun 30, 2011 by Cruising Granny
	The 3rd Affair (Preview) A mortician was working late one night. He examined the body of Mr. Schwartz, about to be cremated, and made a startling discovery. Schwartz had the largest private part he had ever seen! 'I'm sorry Mr. Schwartz,' the mortician commented, 'I can't allow you to be cremated with such an impre...	oldrtvute	0	642	05:50 PM Jun 30, 2011 by oldrtvute
	The 2nd Affair (Preview) A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters but always talked about having a son. They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted. The wife got pregnant and delivered a healthy baby boy. The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son. He was horrified at the ugl...	oldrtvute	0	628	05:48 PM Jun 30, 2011 by oldrtvute
	affair No1 (Preview) A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day they went to her place and made love all afternoon. Exhausted, they fell asleep and woke up at 8 PM. The man hurriedly dressed and told his lover to take his shoes outside and rub them in the grass and dirt. He put on his sho...	oldrtvute	0	655	05:43 PM Jun 30, 2011 by oldrtvute
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