Just Joking

old briney · old briney

The government today announced that it is changing its symbol from an Emu and Kangaroo to a CONDOM, because it more accurately reflects the government's political stance.... A condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of dicks, and gives you a s...

jimricho · jimricho

A woman walked into a bar and asked the barman for a double entendre.....So he gave her one.

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

A small boy has a school homework question to answer, so he asks his father " Hey Dad, what's the difference between 'theoretically' and 'realistically'?" His Dad thinks for a while and then says "Right-o son.....go and ask your mother if she'd sleep with David Beckham for a mill...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

There was this small church down in Texas that had a very big-busted Organist. Her breasts were so huge that they bounced and jiggled while she played the organ. Unfortunately, she distracted the congregation considerably. The very proper church ladies were appalled. They said something had to be...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

A senior citizens group charters a bus for an overnight gambling casino trip. An elderly woman comes up to the bus driver and says, 'I've just been molested!' The driver felt that she had fallen asleep and had a dream.. So he tells her to go back to her seat and sit down. A short time later, another old woma...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

A TrafficCop stops a Harley for traveling faster than the legal Speed limit and he asks the biker his name and licence. "Fred" he replies. "Fred what?" the officer asks. "Just Fred" the man responds. The officer is in a good mood and thinks he mig...

old briney · old briney

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

Paddy goes to the vet with his goldfish. "I think it's got epilepsy" he tells the vet. Vet takes a look and says "It seems calm enough to me". Paddy says, "I haven't taken it out of the bowl yet". ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -----...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

THE STORKj The teacher was telling the kids about the birds and the bees and she explained that when a man and a woman meet and fall in love, nine months later the stork usually brings them a little baby from its nest. Little Gemma at the back of the class put her hand up and asks the teacher,are you s...

goinsoon · goinsoon

One sunny morning Queensland Premier Anna Bligh was driving through a farming district in her chauffeured car. As they came around a bend in the road an old cow standing on the road could not get out of the way quick enough and they hit the poor animal that was sent flying. Anna was not pleased and told the...

goinsoon · goinsoon

If a Liberal doesn't like guns, he doesn't buy one. If a Labor /Greenie doesn't like guns, they wants all guns outlawed. If a Liberal is a vegetarian, he doesn't eat meat. If a Labor/Green is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for everyone. If a Liberal is homosexual, he quietly leads his li...

sucastja · sucastja

A Cardiologist's Funeral A very prestigious cardiologist died, and was given a very elaborate funeral by the hospital he worked for most of his life... A huge heart... covered in > flowers stood behind the casket during the service as all the doctors from the hospital sat in awe. Following the e...

sucastja · sucastja

Stolen from a friend, but too funny NOT to steal. If you are 30, or older, you might think this is hilarious! When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were. When they were growing up; what with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning......

goinsoon · goinsoon

The chief woman 'Greenie Tree-Hugging Activist', who was responsible for getting horses banned from National parks and State forests, was climbing a tree to have a look out over the forest when a Tawny Frogmouth Owl attacked her for invading its nesting site. In a panic to escape, she slid down the tr...

goinsoon · goinsoon

I was just sitting here deep in thought and I wondered that if man evolved from monkeys and apes "Why do we still have monkeys and apes" JUST WONDERING

jimbo · jimbo

A small boy has a school homework question to answer, so he asks his father " Hey Dad, what's the difference between 'theoretically' and 'realistically'?" His Dad thinks for a while and then says "Right-o son.....go and ask your mother if she'd sleep with David Beckham for a million...

goinsoon · goinsoon

Came home from the club yesterday and here she was squatting on the front lawn cutting the grass with a pair of nail scissors. (seems she had the idea it might give me a hint to mow the lawn) But apparently I am a bit slow, I went inside and got a toothbrush and gave it to her, I said: "may as well sweep the...

goinsoon · goinsoon

Hope this is not too rudeA little girl is in line to see Santa. When it's her turn, she climbs upon Santa's lap. Santa asks, "What would you like Santa to bring you for Christmas?" The little girl replies, "I want a Barbie and Action Man." Santa looks at the little girl for a moment a...

Wombat 280 · Wombat 280

In Honour of Stupid People everywhere, but mostly in America and Britain . . . In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not tur...

sucastja · sucastja

You know you're Australian when: You believe that stubbies can either be drunk or worn. You've made a bong out of your garden hose rather than use it for something illegal such as watering the garden. You understand that the phrase 'a group of women wearing black thongs' refers to footwear & may be...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	government today announced (Preview) The government today announced that it is changing its symbol from an Emu and Kangaroo to a CONDOM, because it more accurately reflects the government's political stance.... A condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of dicks, and gives you a s...	old briney	12	1110	08:56 AM Dec 8, 2011 by _wombat_
	Double Entendre (Preview) A woman walked into a bar and asked the barman for a double entendre.....So he gave her one.	jimricho	4	993	09:50 PM Dec 7, 2011 by goinsoon
	THEORETICALLY; (Preview) A small boy has a school homework question to answer, so he asks his father " Hey Dad, what's the difference between 'theoretically' and 'realistically'?" His Dad thinks for a while and then says "Right-o son.....go and ask your mother if she'd sleep with David Beckham for a mill...	justcruisin01	4	929	08:43 AM Dec 7, 2011 by jimbo
	ORGANIST; (Preview) There was this small church down in Texas that had a very big-busted Organist. Her breasts were so huge that they bounced and jiggled while she played the organ. Unfortunately, she distracted the congregation considerably. The very proper church ladies were appalled. They said something had to be...	justcruisin01	1	933	11:28 PM Dec 6, 2011 by goinsoon
	BUS TRIP; (Preview) A senior citizens group charters a bus for an overnight gambling casino trip. An elderly woman comes up to the bus driver and says, 'I've just been molested!' The driver felt that she had fallen asleep and had a dream.. So he tells her to go back to her seat and sit down. A short time later, another old woma...	justcruisin01	1	844	10:23 PM Dec 6, 2011 by jules47
	JUST FRED; (Preview) A TrafficCop stops a Harley for traveling faster than the legal Speed limit and he asks the biker his name and licence. "Fred" he replies. "Fred what?" the officer asks. "Just Fred" the man responds. The officer is in a good mood and thinks he mig...	justcruisin01	1	1105	10:10 PM Dec 6, 2011 by goinsoon
	Hazardous Materials (Preview)	old briney	1	772	08:59 PM Dec 6, 2011 by pauline
	MORE OF THE IRISH! (Preview) Paddy goes to the vet with his goldfish. "I think it's got epilepsy" he tells the vet. Vet takes a look and says "It seems calm enough to me". Paddy says, "I haven't taken it out of the bowl yet". ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -----...	justcruisin01	0	774	02:11 PM Dec 6, 2011 by justcruisin01
	BIRDS OF A FEATHER; (Preview) THE STORKj The teacher was telling the kids about the birds and the bees and she explained that when a man and a woman meet and fall in love, nine months later the stork usually brings them a little baby from its nest. Little Gemma at the back of the class put her hand up and asks the teacher,are you s...	justcruisin01	0	711	02:08 PM Dec 6, 2011 by justcruisin01
	ANNA (Preview) One sunny morning Queensland Premier Anna Bligh was driving through a farming district in her chauffeured car. As they came around a bend in the road an old cow standing on the road could not get out of the way quick enough and they hit the poor animal that was sent flying. Anna was not pleased and told the...	goinsoon	0	750	01:10 AM Dec 6, 2011 by goinsoon
	MORE GREENIE (Preview) If a Liberal doesn't like guns, he doesn't buy one. If a Labor /Greenie doesn't like guns, they wants all guns outlawed. If a Liberal is a vegetarian, he doesn't eat meat. If a Labor/Green is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for everyone. If a Liberal is homosexual, he quietly leads his li...	goinsoon	7	919	12:18 AM Dec 6, 2011 by goinsoon
	A Cardiologist's funeral (Preview) A Cardiologist's Funeral A very prestigious cardiologist died, and was given a very elaborate funeral by the hospital he worked for most of his life... A huge heart... covered in > flowers stood behind the casket during the service as all the doctors from the hospital sat in awe. Following the e...	sucastja	3	926	10:05 PM Dec 5, 2011 by Elle on Wheels
	In my day . . . (Preview) Stolen from a friend, but too funny NOT to steal. If you are 30, or older, you might think this is hilarious! When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were. When they were growing up; what with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning......	sucastja	2	1059	09:46 PM Dec 5, 2011 by pauline
	ANOTHER GREENIE (Preview) The chief woman 'Greenie Tree-Hugging Activist', who was responsible for getting horses banned from National parks and State forests, was climbing a tree to have a look out over the forest when a Tawny Frogmouth Owl attacked her for invading its nesting site. In a panic to escape, she slid down the tr...	goinsoon	0	756	09:26 PM Dec 3, 2011 by goinsoon
	JUST THINKING (Preview) I was just sitting here deep in thought and I wondered that if man evolved from monkeys and apes "Why do we still have monkeys and apes" JUST WONDERING	goinsoon	6	870	04:12 PM Dec 3, 2011 by jimbo
	Theoretically / Reaisticallyl (Preview) A small boy has a school homework question to answer, so he asks his father " Hey Dad, what's the difference between 'theoretically' and 'realistically'?" His Dad thinks for a while and then says "Right-o son.....go and ask your mother if she'd sleep with David Beckham for a million...	jimbo	2	575	04:08 PM Dec 3, 2011 by jimbo
	IN POO AGAIN (Preview) Came home from the club yesterday and here she was squatting on the front lawn cutting the grass with a pair of nail scissors. (seems she had the idea it might give me a hint to mow the lawn) But apparently I am a bit slow, I went inside and got a toothbrush and gave it to her, I said: "may as well sweep the...	goinsoon	2	781	10:28 PM Dec 2, 2011 by goinsoon
	BARBIE AND KEN (Preview) Hope this is not too rudeA little girl is in line to see Santa. When it's her turn, she climbs upon Santa's lap. Santa asks, "What would you like Santa to bring you for Christmas?" The little girl replies, "I want a Barbie and Action Man." Santa looks at the little girl for a moment a...	goinsoon	0	658	10:26 PM Dec 2, 2011 by goinsoon
	In Honour of Stupid People (Preview) In Honour of Stupid People everywhere, but mostly in America and Britain . . . In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not tur...	Wombat 280	2	934	07:59 PM Dec 2, 2011 by rvtraveller2
	You know you're Australian when: (Preview) You know you're Australian when: You believe that stubbies can either be drunk or worn. You've made a bong out of your garden hose rather than use it for something illegal such as watering the garden. You understand that the phrase 'a group of women wearing black thongs' refers to footwear & may be...	sucastja	1	1159	07:46 AM Dec 2, 2011 by jules47
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