Just Joking

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

Joe says to Paddy: "Close your curtains the next time you're shagging your wife. The whole street was watching and laughing at you yesterday." Paddy says: "Well the joke's on them stupid bastards because I wasn't even at home yesterday." Paddy says to Mick - I'm ready for a holi...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

Farmer John lived on a quiet rural highway. But as time went by,the traffic slowly built up and became so heavy and so fastthat his chickens were being run over at a rate of three to six a day. So one day Farmer John called the local police station and said, "You've got todo something about all of the...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

A young man moved out from mom and dads house and into an apartment and on his own for the first time. He proudly went down to the lobby to put his name on his mailbox. While there, a stunning young lady came out of the apartment next to the mailboxes, wearing only a robe. The boy smiled at the young woman and...

goinsoon · goinsoon

I had a friend once, sadly we had a falling out, she went to a prom today and was voted queen of the prom. Wasn't she so fortunate

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

Abdul from Middle East applies for Amex credit card, for verification ,gets a telephone call from customer services in New York USA.Here is the conversation.

jimbo · jimbo

A man applying for a job at a Mildura lemon orchard seemed to be far too qualified for the job. The foreman frowned and said, "I have to ask you this: Have you had any actual experience in picking lemons?" He replied: "I've been divorced twice, bought a Leyland P76,...

jules47 · jules47

Silver Surfers know, sometimes we have trouble with our computers.I had a problem yesterday, so I called Eric, the 11 year old next door, whose bedroom looks like Mission Control and asked him to come over. Eric clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem. As he was walking away, I called after h...

clazandaza · clazandaza

SHED TOOLS EXPLAINED 1. DRILL PRESS: A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings your beer across the room, denting the freshly-painted project which you had carefully set in the corner where nothing coul...

Antique Pete · Antique Pete

The presenters on ch10 the circle

jules47 · jules47

Easy Chicken Recipe Here is a chicken recipe that also includes the use of popcorn as a stuffing -- imagine that. When I found this recipe, I thought it was perfect for people like me, who are not sure how to tell when poultry is thoroughly cooked, but not dried out. Give this a try. 1 chicken 1 cup melted bu...

Antique Pete · Antique Pete

A couple decided to go back to their honeymoon hotel for their 50th aniversary They stayed in the same room, in the morning the wife said Darling do you remember what we did 50 years ago today, we sat on the balcony having breakfast in the nude, lets do it again, he agrees so they strip off and start breakfa...

Zoomtopz · Zoomtopz

My gold condoms have just arived in th mail . I said to my wife . "I am going to try one tonight" She says . "Why don't you wear a silver one & come 2nd for a change"? Richo

jimricho · jimricho

A KISS IS JUST A KISS A tough looking group of bikers were riding when they saw a girl about to jump off a bridge so they stopped. The leader, a big burly man, gets off his bike and says, "What are you doing?" "I'm going to commit suicide," she says. While he did not want to appear insen...

jimbo · jimbo

Working For the Council A bloke goes to the local council to apply for a job in the office. The interviewer asks him "Are you allergic to anything?" He replies "Yes, caffeine" "Have you ever worked for the public service before?" "Yes I was in the army" he s...

Zoomtopz · Zoomtopz

i can't add anything. Richo.

Gonadoit · Gonadoit

I was in a newsagents in Broken Hill. A big guy with a big hat asked the chap behind the counter if he had any Sunday papers. The newsagent said No sir we havent any Sunday papers The big guy raised his voice and said Why not may I ask? The newsagent said Because its Saturday sir, we wont have Sunday papers un...

Ole_Grizzly · Ole_Grizzly

A woman applied for a job in a lemon orchard, but she seemed to be far too qualified for the job. In her application she listed her Arts and Education Degrees from Sydnay University, and her jobs as a social Worker and School Teacher. The foreman frowned and said, "I have to ask you this, but have you...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

THE VENTRILOQUIST & THE BLONDE A young ventriloquist is touring Essex and, one night, he's doing a show in a small town. With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blonde jokes. Suddenly, a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and starts shouting, "I'v...

rtv47 · rtv47

IMPORTANT HEALTH INFORMATION FOR MEN AND WOMEN Do you have feelings of inadequacy? Do you suffer from shyness? Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive? If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or pharmacist about Cabernet Sauvignon. Cabernet Sauvignon is the safe, natur...

sucastja · sucastja

COMPLETELY FINISHED No English dictionary has been able to explain the difference between the two words 'complete' and 'finished' in a way that's so easy to understand: Some people say there is no difference between COMPLETE & FINISHED but, there is an explanation, as told by a Newfo...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	MORE IRISH; (Preview) Joe says to Paddy: "Close your curtains the next time you're shagging your wife. The whole street was watching and laughing at you yesterday." Paddy says: "Well the joke's on them stupid bastards because I wasn't even at home yesterday." Paddy says to Mick - I'm ready for a holi...	justcruisin01	0	1065	10:00 PM Mar 3, 2012 by justcruisin01
	CHICKENS; (Preview) Farmer John lived on a quiet rural highway. But as time went by,the traffic slowly built up and became so heavy and so fastthat his chickens were being run over at a rate of three to six a day. So one day Farmer John called the local police station and said, "You've got todo something about all of the...	justcruisin01	0	1006	09:59 PM Mar 3, 2012 by justcruisin01
	BEING HONEST ; (Preview) A young man moved out from mom and dads house and into an apartment and on his own for the first time. He proudly went down to the lobby to put his name on his mailbox. While there, a stunning young lady came out of the apartment next to the mailboxes, wearing only a robe. The boy smiled at the young woman and...	justcruisin01	0	637	09:56 PM Mar 3, 2012 by justcruisin01
	A EX FRIEND (Preview) I had a friend once, sadly we had a falling out, she went to a prom today and was voted queen of the prom. Wasn't she so fortunate	goinsoon	8	1063	11:55 PM Mar 3, 2012 by goinsoon
	NO DEER ; (Preview) Abdul from Middle East applies for Amex credit card, for verification ,gets a telephone call from customer services in New York USA.Here is the conversation.	justcruisin01	1	980	10:51 PM Mar 3, 2012 by jimbo
	Lemons (Preview) A man applying for a job at a Mildura lemon orchard seemed to be far too qualified for the job. The foreman frowned and said, "I have to ask you this: Have you had any actual experience in picking lemons?" He replied: "I've been divorced twice, bought a Leyland P76,...	jimbo	0	982	06:52 PM Mar 2, 2012 by jimbo
	Trouble with computer (Preview) Silver Surfers know, sometimes we have trouble with our computers.I had a problem yesterday, so I called Eric, the 11 year old next door, whose bedroom looks like Mission Control and asked him to come over. Eric clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem. As he was walking away, I called after h...	jules47	0	889	03:21 AM Mar 2, 2012 by jules47
	FOR THE BLOKES (mostly) (Preview) SHED TOOLS EXPLAINED 1. DRILL PRESS: A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings your beer across the room, denting the freshly-painted project which you had carefully set in the corner where nothing coul...	clazandaza	1	906	07:26 PM Mar 1, 2012 by Antique Pete
	joke othe week (Preview) The presenters on ch10 the circle	Antique Pete	3	927	07:18 PM Mar 1, 2012 by JRH
	Popcorn (Preview) Easy Chicken Recipe Here is a chicken recipe that also includes the use of popcorn as a stuffing -- imagine that. When I found this recipe, I thought it was perfect for people like me, who are not sure how to tell when poultry is thoroughly cooked, but not dried out. Give this a try. 1 chicken 1 cup melted bu...	jules47	3	1046	06:12 AM Mar 1, 2012 by bronnie
	warm feeling (Preview) A couple decided to go back to their honeymoon hotel for their 50th aniversary They stayed in the same room, in the morning the wife said Darling do you remember what we did 50 years ago today, we sat on the balcony having breakfast in the nude, lets do it again, he agrees so they strip off and start breakfa...	Antique Pete	2	973	04:58 AM Mar 1, 2012 by Kaid
	Only on th 29 Feb (Preview) My gold condoms have just arived in th mail . I said to my wife . "I am going to try one tonight" She says . "Why don't you wear a silver one & come 2nd for a change"? Richo	Zoomtopz	2	949	03:51 AM Mar 1, 2012 by Mousey
	A KISS IS JUST A KISS (Preview) A KISS IS JUST A KISS A tough looking group of bikers were riding when they saw a girl about to jump off a bridge so they stopped. The leader, a big burly man, gets off his bike and says, "What are you doing?" "I'm going to commit suicide," she says. While he did not want to appear insen...	jimricho	0	865	03:52 PM Feb 29, 2012 by jimricho
	Councils (Preview) Working For the Council A bloke goes to the local council to apply for a job in the office. The interviewer asks him "Are you allergic to anything?" He replies "Yes, caffeine" "Have you ever worked for the public service before?" "Yes I was in the army" he s...	jimbo	0	1051	03:38 AM Feb 29, 2012 by jimbo
	Done it all (Preview) i can't add anything. Richo.	Zoomtopz	0	695	11:41 PM Feb 28, 2012 by Zoomtopz
	Come back tomorrow (Preview) I was in a newsagents in Broken Hill. A big guy with a big hat asked the chap behind the counter if he had any Sunday papers. The newsagent said No sir we havent any Sunday papers The big guy raised his voice and said Why not may I ask? The newsagent said Because its Saturday sir, we wont have Sunday papers un...	Gonadoit	0	882	10:16 PM Feb 28, 2012 by Gonadoit
	Sour Lemon (Preview) A woman applied for a job in a lemon orchard, but she seemed to be far too qualified for the job. In her application she listed her Arts and Education Degrees from Sydnay University, and her jobs as a social Worker and School Teacher. The foreman frowned and said, "I have to ask you this, but have you...	Ole_Grizzly	1	1020	02:18 AM Feb 29, 2012 by jimbo
	VANTRILOQUIST & THE BLONDE (Preview) THE VENTRILOQUIST & THE BLONDE A young ventriloquist is touring Essex and, one night, he's doing a show in a small town. With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blonde jokes. Suddenly, a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and starts shouting, "I'v...	justcruisin01	1	1151	11:55 PM Feb 28, 2012 by Gonadoit
	IMPORTANT HEALTH INFORMATION FOR MEN AND WOMEN (Preview) IMPORTANT HEALTH INFORMATION FOR MEN AND WOMEN Do you have feelings of inadequacy? Do you suffer from shyness? Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive? If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or pharmacist about Cabernet Sauvignon. Cabernet Sauvignon is the safe, natur...	rtv47	0	762	02:12 AM Feb 28, 2012 by rtv47
	Completely Finished (Preview) COMPLETELY FINISHED No English dictionary has been able to explain the difference between the two words 'complete' and 'finished' in a way that's so easy to understand: Some people say there is no difference between COMPLETE & FINISHED but, there is an explanation, as told by a Newfo...	sucastja	1	1132	06:47 AM Feb 28, 2012 by Pam
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