Just Joking

Fairy-Nuff · Fairy-Nuff

Dont fart in Harrods. A lady walks into Harrods. She looks around, spots a beautiful diamond bracelet and walks over to inspect it. As she bends over to look more closely, she unexpectedly farts. Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone noticed her little woops and...

Fairy-Nuff · Fairy-Nuff

Quickie in the Bushes. There are two statues in a park; one of a nude man and one of a nude woman. They had been facing each other across a pathway for a hundred years, when, one day, an angel comes down from the heavens and, with a single gesture, brings the two to life. The angel tells them, "As a rewa...

goinsoon · goinsoon

70-year-old George went for his annual physical. All of his tests came back with normal results. Dr. Smith said, "George, everything looks great physically. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with yourself, and do you have a good relationship with your God?" Ge...

Cowboy7307 · Cowboy7307

> SEX PENSION Two men were talking. > > 'So, how's your sex life?' > > 'Oh, nothing special. > > I'm having Pension sex.' > > 'Pension sex?' > > 'Yeah, you know; > > I get a little each month, > > But not enough to live on!' > > > > LOUD S...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

Baptising An Irishman An Irishman is stumbling through the woods, totally drunk, when he comes Upon a preacher baptizing people in the river. He proceeds into the water, subsequently bumping into the preacher. The preacher turns around and is almost overcome by the smell of alcohol, Where upon...

goinsoon · goinsoon

One day the teacher walked to the back of the room where Johnny was, and he had his hand down his pants. The Teacher asked, "Johnny, what are you doing?" Then, Johnny said, "It hurts down there." "Well then, you need to go to the nurse and see if you can go home", said the t...

Peterpan · Peterpan

RETIRED HUSBAND After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the follow...

Zoomtopz · Zoomtopz

A big earthquake with the strength of 8.1 on the Richter scale hit the middle east. Two million Muslims died and over a million were injured. The country is totally ruined and the government doesn't know where to start with providing help to rebuild. The rest of the world is in shock. The USA is send...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

An Arab and a Genie An Arab had spent many days crossing the desert without finding a source of water. It got so bad that his camel died of thirst. He crawled through the sands, certain that he was breathing his last breath, when suddenly, he saw a shiny object sticking out of the sand several yards ahea...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

A minister decided that a visual demonstration would add emphasis to his Sunday sermon.Four worms were placed into four separate jars.The first worm was put into a container of alcohol.The second worm was put into a container of cigarette smoke.The third worm was put into a container of chocolate...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

A Pastor goes to the dentist for a set of false teeth. The first Sunday after he gets his new teeth, he talks for only eight minutes. The second Sunday, he talks for only ten minutes. The following Sunday, he talks for 2 hours and 48 minutes. The congregation had to mob him to get him down from the pulpit...

Dave83 · Dave83

A little girl asked her Mum, Mum, may I take the dog for a walk around the block? Mum replies, No, because she is in heat. Whats that mean? asked the child. Go ask your father. I think hes in the garage. ... The little girl goes to the garage and says, Dad, may I take Belle for a walk around the block? I asked Mum...

old briney · old briney

A man was driving home late one afternoon, and he was driving above the speed limit. He notices a police car with its red lights on in his rear view mirror. He thinks "I can outrun this guy," so he floors it and the race is on. The cars are racing down the highway -- 60, 70, 80, 90 miles an hour. Fina...

old briney · old briney

Two Queensland Police Officers were chasing a Camaro south on Highway 1 toward Tweed Heads. When the suspect crossed the NSW border, the first officer pulled over quickly. The rookie officer pulled in behind him and said, "Hey, sarge, why did you stop?" The sarge replied, "...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

LETTER OF RECOMMENDATION 1 Trevor Adams, my assistant programmer, can always be found 2 hard at work in his cubicle. Trevor works independently, without 3 wasting company time talking to colleagues. Trevor never 4 thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and he always...

thommo · thommo

-- Edited by thommo on Tuesday 1st of November 2011 12:29:35 PM

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

They were funny looking buildings, that were once a way of life, If you couldn't sprint the distance, then you really were in strife.They were nailed, they were wired, but were mostly falling down, There was one in every yard, in every house, in every town.They were given many names, some were e...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

Collingwood Centrelink office, A woman walks into the Collingwood Centrelink office, trailed by 15 kids . . .. 'WOW,' the social worker exclaims, 'Are they ALL yours?' 'Yeah, they are all mine,' the flustered mother sighs, having heard that question a thousand times before. She says, 'Sit down T...

Dave83 · Dave83

Tony Abbott was on the news before. He was in quite a fluster, saying "No no no, you've got it all wrong, I said stop the BOATS!!!!!!!"

Dave83 · Dave83

I heard today that Qantas are changing their logo from the flying Kangaroo to an Emu. Apparently they though that a flightless bird was more appropriate

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Don't fart in Harrods (Preview) Dont fart in Harrods. A lady walks into Harrods. She looks around, spots a beautiful diamond bracelet and walks over to inspect it. As she bends over to look more closely, she unexpectedly farts. Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone noticed her little woops and...	Fairy-Nuff	1	889	08:32 PM Nov 12, 2011 by animalcarer
	Quickie in the bush (Preview) Quickie in the Bushes. There are two statues in a park; one of a nude man and one of a nude woman. They had been facing each other across a pathway for a hundred years, when, one day, an angel comes down from the heavens and, with a single gesture, brings the two to life. The angel tells them, "As a rewa...	Fairy-Nuff	0	833	08:41 PM Nov 11, 2011 by Fairy-Nuff
	ANOTHER PEE JOKE (Preview) 70-year-old George went for his annual physical. All of his tests came back with normal results. Dr. Smith said, "George, everything looks great physically. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with yourself, and do you have a good relationship with your God?" Ge...	goinsoon	0	797	09:01 PM Nov 10, 2011 by goinsoon
	sex (Preview) > SEX PENSION Two men were talking. > > 'So, how's your sex life?' > > 'Oh, nothing special. > > I'm having Pension sex.' > > 'Pension sex?' > > 'Yeah, you know; > > I get a little each month, > > But not enough to live on!' > > > > LOUD S...	Cowboy7307	0	1122	03:26 PM Nov 9, 2011 by Cowboy7307
	THE IRISH; (Preview) Baptising An Irishman An Irishman is stumbling through the woods, totally drunk, when he comes Upon a preacher baptizing people in the river. He proceeds into the water, subsequently bumping into the preacher. The preacher turns around and is almost overcome by the smell of alcohol, Where upon...	justcruisin01	1	867	07:42 PM Nov 6, 2011 by goinsoon
	ANOTHER JOHNNY (Preview) One day the teacher walked to the back of the room where Johnny was, and he had his hand down his pants. The Teacher asked, "Johnny, what are you doing?" Then, Johnny said, "It hurts down there." "Well then, you need to go to the nurse and see if you can go home", said the t...	goinsoon	0	745	07:41 PM Nov 6, 2011 by goinsoon
	Retired Husband (Preview) RETIRED HUSBAND After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the follow...	Peterpan	0	992	09:13 AM Nov 6, 2011 by Peterpan
	our way of helping (Preview) A big earthquake with the strength of 8.1 on the Richter scale hit the middle east. Two million Muslims died and over a million were injured. The country is totally ruined and the government doesn't know where to start with providing help to rebuild. The rest of the world is in shock. The USA is send...	Zoomtopz	0	808	09:30 PM Nov 4, 2011 by Zoomtopz
	AN ARAB & A GENIE; (Preview) An Arab and a Genie An Arab had spent many days crossing the desert without finding a source of water. It got so bad that his camel died of thirst. He crawled through the sands, certain that he was breathing his last breath, when suddenly, he saw a shiny object sticking out of the sand several yards ahea...	justcruisin01	0	746	02:54 PM Nov 4, 2011 by justcruisin01
	WORMS (Preview) A minister decided that a visual demonstration would add emphasis to his Sunday sermon.Four worms were placed into four separate jars.The first worm was put into a container of alcohol.The second worm was put into a container of cigarette smoke.The third worm was put into a container of chocolate...	justcruisin01	0	886	02:53 PM Nov 4, 2011 by justcruisin01
	TALK TIME (Preview) A Pastor goes to the dentist for a set of false teeth. The first Sunday after he gets his new teeth, he talks for only eight minutes. The second Sunday, he talks for only ten minutes. The following Sunday, he talks for 2 hours and 48 minutes. The congregation had to mob him to get him down from the pulpit...	justcruisin01	0	627	02:50 PM Nov 4, 2011 by justcruisin01
	Walking the dog (Preview) A little girl asked her Mum, Mum, may I take the dog for a walk around the block? Mum replies, No, because she is in heat. Whats that mean? asked the child. Go ask your father. I think hes in the garage. ... The little girl goes to the garage and says, Dad, may I take Belle for a walk around the block? I asked Mum...	Dave83	0	587	01:36 PM Nov 4, 2011 by Dave83
	Cop wants an excuse (Preview) A man was driving home late one afternoon, and he was driving above the speed limit. He notices a police car with its red lights on in his rear view mirror. He thinks "I can outrun this guy," so he floors it and the race is on. The cars are racing down the highway -- 60, 70, 80, 90 miles an hour. Fina...	old briney	2	902	02:40 PM Nov 3, 2011 by JRH
	Police Chase (Preview) Two Queensland Police Officers were chasing a Camaro south on Highway 1 toward Tweed Heads. When the suspect crossed the NSW border, the first officer pulled over quickly. The rookie officer pulled in behind him and said, "Hey, sarge, why did you stop?" The sarge replied, "...	old briney	0	623	11:30 AM Nov 3, 2011 by old briney
	RECOMMENDATION; (Preview) LETTER OF RECOMMENDATION 1 Trevor Adams, my assistant programmer, can always be found 2 hard at work in his cubicle. Trevor works independently, without 3 wasting company time talking to colleagues. Trevor never 4 thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and he always...	justcruisin01	1	933	09:41 PM Nov 1, 2011 by Pam
	Hmm!! (Preview) -- Edited by thommo on Tuesday 1st of November 2011 12:29:35 PM	thommo	0	579	12:28 PM Nov 1, 2011 by thommo
	AN AUSSIE POEM; (Preview) They were funny looking buildings, that were once a way of life, If you couldn't sprint the distance, then you really were in strife.They were nailed, they were wired, but were mostly falling down, There was one in every yard, in every house, in every town.They were given many names, some were e...	justcruisin01	8	2201	10:20 AM Oct 31, 2011 by gubby
	CENTRELINK: (Preview) Collingwood Centrelink office, A woman walks into the Collingwood Centrelink office, trailed by 15 kids . . .. 'WOW,' the social worker exclaims, 'Are they ALL yours?' 'Yeah, they are all mine,' the flustered mother sighs, having heard that question a thousand times before. She says, 'Sit down T...	justcruisin01	0	1120	08:33 PM Oct 30, 2011 by justcruisin01
	Qantas again (Preview) Tony Abbott was on the news before. He was in quite a fluster, saying "No no no, you've got it all wrong, I said stop the BOATS!!!!!!!"	Dave83	0	667	05:26 PM Oct 30, 2011 by Dave83
	Qantas (Preview) I heard today that Qantas are changing their logo from the flying Kangaroo to an Emu. Apparently they though that a flightless bird was more appropriate	Dave83	0	782	05:26 PM Oct 30, 2011 by Dave83
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