Just Joking

Kev-Maz · Kev-Maz

-- Old Timers Bar Four old retired guys are walking down a street in Maroochydore. They turned a corner and see a sign that says, 'Old Timer's Bar - all drinks 10 cents! They look at each other, and then go in, thinking this is too good to be true. The old bartender says in a voice that carries across the room...

goinsoon · goinsoon

One day, a mum was cleaning her son's room and in the closet she found a bondage-S&M magazine. This was highly upsetting for her. She showed it to her husband. He looked at it and handed it back to her without a word. She finally asked him, "Well, what should we do about this?" The dad looke...

Firefly · Firefly

It takes your food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach. One human hair can support 6.6 pounds. The average man's penis is two times the length of his thumb. Human thighbones are stronger than concrete. A woman's heart beats faster than a man's. There are about one trillion bacteria o...

rockylizard · rockylizard

Talk about getting older. I found my first grey pubic hair yesterday, normally these things don't worry me, but it was in my Big Mac.

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

CHEWING GUM! An Australian man was having a coffee and croissants with butter and jam in a cafe when an American tourist, chewing gum, sat down next to him. The Australian politely ignored the American, who, nevertheless started up a conversation. The American snapped his gum and said, 'You Austr...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says, ' I clocked you at 120 km/h, sir.' The driver says, 'Christ, officer I had it on cruise control at 100, perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating.' Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: 'Now don't be silly dear, you know that this car...

Blue Orchid · Blue Orchid

If a man is alone in the dim dark jungle and talks to himself to ward off boredom... is he still wrong???

JRH · JRH

I don't need to have sex. I get screwed by the government every day.

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

OLD people have problems that you haven't even considered yet! An 85-year-old man was told by the Doctor that he needed a sperm count as part of his physical exam. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, 'Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow.' The next day the 85-year-old man reappea...

valnrob · valnrob

"Dogs Welcome" A man wrote a letter to a small hotel in a Midwest town he planned to visit on his vacation. He wrote: "I would very much like to bring my dog with me. He is well-groomed and very well behaved. Would you be willing to permit me to keep him in my room wi...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

Three sisters ages 92, 94 and 96 live in a house together. One night the 96 year old draws a bath.. She puts her foot in and pauses... She yells to the other sisters, "Was I getting in or out of the bath?" The 94 year old yells back, "I don't know. I'll come up and see." She starts up the s...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

NO SEX Since 1955 A crusty old Marine Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event hosted by a local liberal arts college. There was no shortage of extremely young idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the Sergeant Major for conversation. "Excuse me, Sergeant Major, but y...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

> > POOR MICK > > Paddy and Mick are two Irishmen working at the local sawmill. One day, > Mick slips and his arm gets caught and severed by the big bench saw. > Paddy quickly puts the limb in a plastic bag and rushes it and Mick to the > Local hospital. > Next day, Paddy goes to the ho...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

Joe says to Paddy: "Close your curtains the next time you're shagging your wife. The whole street was watching and laughing at you yesterday." Paddy says: "Well the joke's on them stupid bastards because I wasn't even at home yesterday." Paddy says to Mick - I'm ready for a holi...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

Farmer John lived on a quiet rural highway. But as time went by,the traffic slowly built up and became so heavy and so fastthat his chickens were being run over at a rate of three to six a day. So one day Farmer John called the local police station and said, "You've got todo something about all of the...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

A young man moved out from mom and dads house and into an apartment and on his own for the first time. He proudly went down to the lobby to put his name on his mailbox. While there, a stunning young lady came out of the apartment next to the mailboxes, wearing only a robe. The boy smiled at the young woman and...

goinsoon · goinsoon

I had a friend once, sadly we had a falling out, she went to a prom today and was voted queen of the prom. Wasn't she so fortunate

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

Abdul from Middle East applies for Amex credit card, for verification ,gets a telephone call from customer services in New York USA.Here is the conversation.

jimbo · jimbo

A man applying for a job at a Mildura lemon orchard seemed to be far too qualified for the job. The foreman frowned and said, "I have to ask you this: Have you had any actual experience in picking lemons?" He replied: "I've been divorced twice, bought a Leyland P76,...

jules47 · jules47

Silver Surfers know, sometimes we have trouble with our computers.I had a problem yesterday, so I called Eric, the 11 year old next door, whose bedroom looks like Mission Control and asked him to come over. Eric clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem. As he was walking away, I called after h...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Old Timers Bar (Preview) -- Old Timers Bar Four old retired guys are walking down a street in Maroochydore. They turned a corner and see a sign that says, 'Old Timer's Bar - all drinks 10 cents! They look at each other, and then go in, thinking this is too good to be true. The old bartender says in a voice that carries across the room...	Kev-Maz	0	915	03:30 AM Mar 14, 2012 by Kev-Maz
	S&M (Preview) One day, a mum was cleaning her son's room and in the closet she found a bondage-S&M magazine. This was highly upsetting for her. She showed it to her husband. He looked at it and handed it back to her without a word. She finally asked him, "Well, what should we do about this?" The dad looke...	goinsoon	0	948	04:32 AM Mar 12, 2012 by goinsoon
	The Human Body (Preview) It takes your food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach. One human hair can support 6.6 pounds. The average man's penis is two times the length of his thumb. Human thighbones are stronger than concrete. A woman's heart beats faster than a man's. There are about one trillion bacteria o...	Firefly	4	1034	05:11 AM Mar 11, 2012 by rowdy
	Getting Older.... (Preview) Talk about getting older. I found my first grey pubic hair yesterday, normally these things don't worry me, but it was in my Big Mac.	rockylizard	2	1093	06:22 PM Mar 10, 2012 by rockylizard
	CHEWING GUM; (Preview) CHEWING GUM! An Australian man was having a coffee and croissants with butter and jam in a cafe when an American tourist, chewing gum, sat down next to him. The Australian politely ignored the American, who, nevertheless started up a conversation. The American snapped his gum and said, 'You Austr...	justcruisin01	0	917	04:15 AM Mar 10, 2012 by justcruisin01
	BEING NICKED; (Preview) A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says, ' I clocked you at 120 km/h, sir.' The driver says, 'Christ, officer I had it on cruise control at 100, perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating.' Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: 'Now don't be silly dear, you know that this car...	justcruisin01	0	833	04:14 AM Mar 10, 2012 by justcruisin01
	I wonder (Preview) If a man is alone in the dim dark jungle and talks to himself to ward off boredom... is he still wrong???	Blue Orchid	3	1102	06:25 PM Mar 9, 2012 by rosco
	Screwed (Preview) I don't need to have sex. I get screwed by the government every day.	JRH	0	1020	11:23 PM Mar 7, 2012 by JRH
	HEALTH CHECK; (Preview) OLD people have problems that you haven't even considered yet! An 85-year-old man was told by the Doctor that he needed a sperm count as part of his physical exam. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, 'Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow.' The next day the 85-year-old man reappea...	justcruisin01	1	1057	01:28 AM Mar 8, 2012 by Pam
	Dogs allowed here. (Preview) "Dogs Welcome" A man wrote a letter to a small hotel in a Midwest town he planned to visit on his vacation. He wrote: "I would very much like to bring my dog with me. He is well-groomed and very well behaved. Would you be willing to permit me to keep him in my room wi...	valnrob	1	991	10:55 PM Mar 6, 2012 by goinsoon
	THREE SISTERS; (Preview) Three sisters ages 92, 94 and 96 live in a house together. One night the 96 year old draws a bath.. She puts her foot in and pauses... She yells to the other sisters, "Was I getting in or out of the bath?" The 94 year old yells back, "I don't know. I'll come up and see." She starts up the s...	justcruisin01	0	888	03:18 AM Mar 6, 2012 by justcruisin01
	1955;; (Preview) NO SEX Since 1955 A crusty old Marine Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event hosted by a local liberal arts college. There was no shortage of extremely young idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the Sergeant Major for conversation. "Excuse me, Sergeant Major, but y...	justcruisin01	0	916	03:16 AM Mar 6, 2012 by justcruisin01
	POOR MICK; (Preview) > > POOR MICK > > Paddy and Mick are two Irishmen working at the local sawmill. One day, > Mick slips and his arm gets caught and severed by the big bench saw. > Paddy quickly puts the limb in a plastic bag and rushes it and Mick to the > Local hospital. > Next day, Paddy goes to the ho...	justcruisin01	0	954	10:08 PM Mar 3, 2012 by justcruisin01
	MORE IRISH; (Preview) Joe says to Paddy: "Close your curtains the next time you're shagging your wife. The whole street was watching and laughing at you yesterday." Paddy says: "Well the joke's on them stupid bastards because I wasn't even at home yesterday." Paddy says to Mick - I'm ready for a holi...	justcruisin01	0	1088	10:00 PM Mar 3, 2012 by justcruisin01
	CHICKENS; (Preview) Farmer John lived on a quiet rural highway. But as time went by,the traffic slowly built up and became so heavy and so fastthat his chickens were being run over at a rate of three to six a day. So one day Farmer John called the local police station and said, "You've got todo something about all of the...	justcruisin01	0	1033	09:59 PM Mar 3, 2012 by justcruisin01
	BEING HONEST ; (Preview) A young man moved out from mom and dads house and into an apartment and on his own for the first time. He proudly went down to the lobby to put his name on his mailbox. While there, a stunning young lady came out of the apartment next to the mailboxes, wearing only a robe. The boy smiled at the young woman and...	justcruisin01	0	661	09:56 PM Mar 3, 2012 by justcruisin01
	A EX FRIEND (Preview) I had a friend once, sadly we had a falling out, she went to a prom today and was voted queen of the prom. Wasn't she so fortunate	goinsoon	8	1091	11:55 PM Mar 3, 2012 by goinsoon
	NO DEER ; (Preview) Abdul from Middle East applies for Amex credit card, for verification ,gets a telephone call from customer services in New York USA.Here is the conversation.	justcruisin01	1	1001	10:51 PM Mar 3, 2012 by jimbo
	Lemons (Preview) A man applying for a job at a Mildura lemon orchard seemed to be far too qualified for the job. The foreman frowned and said, "I have to ask you this: Have you had any actual experience in picking lemons?" He replied: "I've been divorced twice, bought a Leyland P76,...	jimbo	0	1004	06:52 PM Mar 2, 2012 by jimbo
	Trouble with computer (Preview) Silver Surfers know, sometimes we have trouble with our computers.I had a problem yesterday, so I called Eric, the 11 year old next door, whose bedroom looks like Mission Control and asked him to come over. Eric clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem. As he was walking away, I called after h...	jules47	0	914	03:21 AM Mar 2, 2012 by jules47
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