Just Joking

clazandaza · clazandaza

SHED TOOLS EXPLAINED 1. DRILL PRESS: A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings your beer across the room, denting the freshly-painted project which you had carefully set in the corner where nothing coul...

Antique Pete · Antique Pete

The presenters on ch10 the circle

jules47 · jules47

Easy Chicken Recipe Here is a chicken recipe that also includes the use of popcorn as a stuffing -- imagine that. When I found this recipe, I thought it was perfect for people like me, who are not sure how to tell when poultry is thoroughly cooked, but not dried out. Give this a try. 1 chicken 1 cup melted bu...

Antique Pete · Antique Pete

A couple decided to go back to their honeymoon hotel for their 50th aniversary They stayed in the same room, in the morning the wife said Darling do you remember what we did 50 years ago today, we sat on the balcony having breakfast in the nude, lets do it again, he agrees so they strip off and start breakfa...

Zoomtopz · Zoomtopz

My gold condoms have just arived in th mail . I said to my wife . "I am going to try one tonight" She says . "Why don't you wear a silver one & come 2nd for a change"? Richo

jimricho · jimricho

A KISS IS JUST A KISS A tough looking group of bikers were riding when they saw a girl about to jump off a bridge so they stopped. The leader, a big burly man, gets off his bike and says, "What are you doing?" "I'm going to commit suicide," she says. While he did not want to appear insen...

jimbo · jimbo

Working For the Council A bloke goes to the local council to apply for a job in the office. The interviewer asks him "Are you allergic to anything?" He replies "Yes, caffeine" "Have you ever worked for the public service before?" "Yes I was in the army" he s...

Zoomtopz · Zoomtopz

i can't add anything. Richo.

Gonadoit · Gonadoit

I was in a newsagents in Broken Hill. A big guy with a big hat asked the chap behind the counter if he had any Sunday papers. The newsagent said No sir we havent any Sunday papers The big guy raised his voice and said Why not may I ask? The newsagent said Because its Saturday sir, we wont have Sunday papers un...

Ole_Grizzly · Ole_Grizzly

A woman applied for a job in a lemon orchard, but she seemed to be far too qualified for the job. In her application she listed her Arts and Education Degrees from Sydnay University, and her jobs as a social Worker and School Teacher. The foreman frowned and said, "I have to ask you this, but have you...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

THE VENTRILOQUIST & THE BLONDE A young ventriloquist is touring Essex and, one night, he's doing a show in a small town. With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blonde jokes. Suddenly, a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and starts shouting, "I'v...

rtv47 · rtv47

IMPORTANT HEALTH INFORMATION FOR MEN AND WOMEN Do you have feelings of inadequacy? Do you suffer from shyness? Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive? If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or pharmacist about Cabernet Sauvignon. Cabernet Sauvignon is the safe, natur...

sucastja · sucastja

COMPLETELY FINISHED No English dictionary has been able to explain the difference between the two words 'complete' and 'finished' in a way that's so easy to understand: Some people say there is no difference between COMPLETE & FINISHED but, there is an explanation, as told by a Newfo...

rockylizard · rockylizard

If all the dinosaurs had had a wide vocabulary, maybe they would have survived....like the Thesaurus

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

A woman and a baby were in the doctor's examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in for the baby's first exam. The doctor arrived, and examined the baby, checked his weight, and being a little concerned, asked if the baby was breast-fed or bottle-fed. "Breast-fed." she replied.. &...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

An Australian ventriloquist visiting New Zealand walks into a small village and sees a localsitting on his veranda patting his dog. He figures he'll have a little fun, so he says to the Kiwi......'G'day, mind if I talk to your dog?' Villager: 'The dog doesn't talk, you stupid Aussie.' Ventriloquis...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

You know how irritating mobile phone users are when they fail to exercise discretion and think the world needs to know their business? When you have enjoyed as much as you can stand you can now get you own back!!! enjoy!!! After a busy day he settled down in his train from Waterloo for a nap as far as his de...

BobnBev · BobnBev

4 old mischievous Grandmas were sitting at a table in a nursing home. About then an old Grandpa walked in,One of the old Grandma's yelled out saying,'We bet we can tell exactly how old you are The old man said,'There ain't no way you can guess it, you old fools.' One of the old Grandmas said,'Sure we can! J...

PeterS · PeterS

Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says: 'Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?' Slim says, 'I feel just like a newborn baby.' 'Really!? Like a newborn bab...

jules47 · jules47

There is a factory in Essex which makes the Tickle Me Elmo toys.The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arms. Well, Loretta is hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for her first day promptly at 8:00 am. The next day at 8:45 am there is a knock at the Personnel Manager's door.The Foreman th...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	FOR THE BLOKES (mostly) (Preview) SHED TOOLS EXPLAINED 1. DRILL PRESS: A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings your beer across the room, denting the freshly-painted project which you had carefully set in the corner where nothing coul...	clazandaza	1	930	07:26 PM Mar 1, 2012 by Antique Pete
	joke othe week (Preview) The presenters on ch10 the circle	Antique Pete	3	952	07:18 PM Mar 1, 2012 by JRH
	Popcorn (Preview) Easy Chicken Recipe Here is a chicken recipe that also includes the use of popcorn as a stuffing -- imagine that. When I found this recipe, I thought it was perfect for people like me, who are not sure how to tell when poultry is thoroughly cooked, but not dried out. Give this a try. 1 chicken 1 cup melted bu...	jules47	3	1074	06:12 AM Mar 1, 2012 by bronnie
	warm feeling (Preview) A couple decided to go back to their honeymoon hotel for their 50th aniversary They stayed in the same room, in the morning the wife said Darling do you remember what we did 50 years ago today, we sat on the balcony having breakfast in the nude, lets do it again, he agrees so they strip off and start breakfa...	Antique Pete	2	998	04:58 AM Mar 1, 2012 by Kaid
	Only on th 29 Feb (Preview) My gold condoms have just arived in th mail . I said to my wife . "I am going to try one tonight" She says . "Why don't you wear a silver one & come 2nd for a change"? Richo	Zoomtopz	2	976	03:51 AM Mar 1, 2012 by Mousey
	A KISS IS JUST A KISS (Preview) A KISS IS JUST A KISS A tough looking group of bikers were riding when they saw a girl about to jump off a bridge so they stopped. The leader, a big burly man, gets off his bike and says, "What are you doing?" "I'm going to commit suicide," she says. While he did not want to appear insen...	jimricho	0	892	03:52 PM Feb 29, 2012 by jimricho
	Councils (Preview) Working For the Council A bloke goes to the local council to apply for a job in the office. The interviewer asks him "Are you allergic to anything?" He replies "Yes, caffeine" "Have you ever worked for the public service before?" "Yes I was in the army" he s...	jimbo	0	1079	03:38 AM Feb 29, 2012 by jimbo
	Done it all (Preview) i can't add anything. Richo.	Zoomtopz	0	725	11:41 PM Feb 28, 2012 by Zoomtopz
	Come back tomorrow (Preview) I was in a newsagents in Broken Hill. A big guy with a big hat asked the chap behind the counter if he had any Sunday papers. The newsagent said No sir we havent any Sunday papers The big guy raised his voice and said Why not may I ask? The newsagent said Because its Saturday sir, we wont have Sunday papers un...	Gonadoit	0	921	10:16 PM Feb 28, 2012 by Gonadoit
	Sour Lemon (Preview) A woman applied for a job in a lemon orchard, but she seemed to be far too qualified for the job. In her application she listed her Arts and Education Degrees from Sydnay University, and her jobs as a social Worker and School Teacher. The foreman frowned and said, "I have to ask you this, but have you...	Ole_Grizzly	1	1048	02:18 AM Feb 29, 2012 by jimbo
	VANTRILOQUIST & THE BLONDE (Preview) THE VENTRILOQUIST & THE BLONDE A young ventriloquist is touring Essex and, one night, he's doing a show in a small town. With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blonde jokes. Suddenly, a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and starts shouting, "I'v...	justcruisin01	1	1184	11:55 PM Feb 28, 2012 by Gonadoit
	IMPORTANT HEALTH INFORMATION FOR MEN AND WOMEN (Preview) IMPORTANT HEALTH INFORMATION FOR MEN AND WOMEN Do you have feelings of inadequacy? Do you suffer from shyness? Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive? If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or pharmacist about Cabernet Sauvignon. Cabernet Sauvignon is the safe, natur...	rtv47	0	789	02:12 AM Feb 28, 2012 by rtv47
	Completely Finished (Preview) COMPLETELY FINISHED No English dictionary has been able to explain the difference between the two words 'complete' and 'finished' in a way that's so easy to understand: Some people say there is no difference between COMPLETE & FINISHED but, there is an explanation, as told by a Newfo...	sucastja	1	1163	06:47 AM Feb 28, 2012 by Pam
	Dinosaurs..... (Preview) If all the dinosaurs had had a wide vocabulary, maybe they would have survived....like the Thesaurus	rockylizard	1	987	09:24 PM Feb 26, 2012 by Hylda&Jon
	GRANDMA; (Preview) A woman and a baby were in the doctor's examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in for the baby's first exam. The doctor arrived, and examined the baby, checked his weight, and being a little concerned, asked if the baby was breast-fed or bottle-fed. "Breast-fed." she replied.. &...	justcruisin01	0	898	12:09 AM Feb 26, 2012 by justcruisin01
	VANTRILOQUIST; (Preview) An Australian ventriloquist visiting New Zealand walks into a small village and sees a localsitting on his veranda patting his dog. He figures he'll have a little fun, so he says to the Kiwi......'G'day, mind if I talk to your dog?' Villager: 'The dog doesn't talk, you stupid Aussie.' Ventriloquis...	justcruisin01	0	835	12:08 AM Feb 26, 2012 by justcruisin01
	GET YOUR OWN BACK (Preview) You know how irritating mobile phone users are when they fail to exercise discretion and think the world needs to know their business? When you have enjoyed as much as you can stand you can now get you own back!!! enjoy!!! After a busy day he settled down in his train from Waterloo for a nap as far as his de...	justcruisin01	2	962	11:42 PM Feb 25, 2012 by PeterS
	This made me smile, so I should share it with you.... (Preview) 4 old mischievous Grandmas were sitting at a table in a nursing home. About then an old Grandpa walked in,One of the old Grandma's yelled out saying,'We bet we can tell exactly how old you are The old man said,'There ain't no way you can guess it, you old fools.' One of the old Grandmas said,'Sure we can! J...	BobnBev	0	904	02:33 AM Feb 25, 2012 by BobnBev
	Retirement home (Preview) Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says: 'Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?' Slim says, 'I feel just like a newborn baby.' 'Really!? Like a newborn bab...	PeterS	0	862	12:01 AM Feb 24, 2012 by PeterS
	Elmo (Preview) There is a factory in Essex which makes the Tickle Me Elmo toys.The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arms. Well, Loretta is hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for her first day promptly at 8:00 am. The next day at 8:45 am there is a knock at the Personnel Manager's door.The Foreman th...	jules47	0	839	07:25 AM Feb 23, 2012 by jules47
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