Just Joking

oldrtvute · oldrtvute

How To Give A Cat A Pill 1. Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop...

oldrtvute · oldrtvute

A gynecologist decided that he would like a change in careers and so he got a job as a apprentice motor mechanic at the local garage . All went well as he enjoyed the job and as a result got good reports from all the costumers about the quality of his work . At the end of his apprenticeship there w...

Peterpan · Peterpan

A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, 'Please come over here and help > me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get > started.' > > Her boyfriend asks, 'What is it supposed to be when it's finished?' > > The blonde says, 'According to the picture on the box, it's...

Zoomtopz · Zoomtopz

Yeah , I wast wondering about all these medical terms that get chucked at us . Like in PPs thread 'kleptomania' & there's nymphomania And then the operations - tonsilectomy , appendectomy . I wonder if a Nymphomaniac's experience is called a 'slipadictome' Richo

Firefly · Firefly

Cruising Granny · Cruising Granny

With time, women gain weight because we accumulate so much information and wisdom in our heads that when there is no more room, it distributes out to the rest of our bodies. So we aren't heavy, we are enormously cultured, educated and happy.

Beginning today, when I look at my backside in the mirr...

robell · robell

Senior citizens are constantly being criticized for Every conceivable deficiency of the modern world, Real or imaginary. We know we take responsibility for all we have done and do not blame others. HOWEVER, upon reflection, we would like to point out that it was NOT the senior citizens who took: The...

jimbo · jimbo

A man was driving when he saw the flash of a traffic camera.He figured that his picture had been tkane for exceeding the limit, even though heknew that he was not speeding. Just to be sure, he went around the blockand passed the same spot, driving even more slowly, but again the cameraflashed. Now he be...

lilly31 · lilly31

Man in hospital wearing a oxygen mask over his mouth ..Nurse he mumbles : are my testicles black ?? Nurses raises his gown holds his doddle in one hand and his testicles in the other .she take a close look and says ....Theres nothing wrong with them Sir .... Man pulls of oxygen mask ,smiles at her and says v...

Peterpan · Peterpan

I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it.

sucastja · sucastja

1. The Irish have solved their own fuel problems. They imported 50 million tonnes of sand from the Arabs and they're going to drill for their own oil.2. Paddy says to Mick, "Christmas is on a Friday this year".... Mick says "Let's hope it's not the 13th."3. Pa...

milo · milo

Astrology by Tonto The Lone Ranger and Tonto went camping in the desert. After they got their Tent all set up, both men fell sound asleep. Some hours later, Tonto wakes the Lone Ranger and says, 'Kemo Sabe, look Towards sky, what you see? ' 'The Lone Ranger replies, 'I see millions of stars.' 'Wha...

Cruising Granny · Cruising Granny

1. If walking/cycling is good for your health, the postman would be immortal. 2. A whale swims all day, only eats fish, drinks water and is fat. 3. A rabbit runs and hops and only lives 15 years. 4. A tortoise doesn't run, does nothing ..... yet lives for 450 years. AND YOU TELL ME TO EXERCISE! I'm retired,...

Firefly · Firefly

It is well known that humour is regional, but this is the first joke that I can say is truly a Queenslander: At a national conference of the Australian Hotels Association, the general managers of Cascade Brewery (Tasmania), Tooheys (New South Wales), XXXX (Queensland), CUB (Victoria) and Cooper...

Firefly · Firefly

An RAF Group Captain was about to start the morning briefing to his staff. While waiting for the coffee machine to finish its brewing, the Group Captain decided to pose a question to all assembled. He explained that his wife had been a bit frisky the night before and he failed to get his usual amount...

Firefly · Firefly

While creating husbands, God promised women that good and ideal husbands would be found in all corners of the world. .... and then, made the earth round. That God, She's such a joker.........

Cowboy7307 · Cowboy7307

THE MOST FUNCTIONAL ENGLISH WORD... Well, its ****... That's right, ****! **** may just be the most functional word in the English language. You can smoke ****, buy ****, sell ****, lose ****, find ****, forget ****, And tell others to eat ****. Some people know their ****, while others can't tell the...

Old Crofter · Old Crofter

Three friends married women from different parts of the world. The first man married a British girl. He told her that she was to do the dishes and house cleaning. It took a couple of days, but on the third day, he came home to see a clean house and dishes washed and put away. The second man married a South Af...

Cruising Granny · Cruising Granny

Men Are Just Happier People -- What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water p...

_wombat_ · _wombat_

more to come later

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	how to give a cata pill (Preview) How To Give A Cat A Pill 1. Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop...	oldrtvute	0	893	04:50 PM Jun 26, 2011 by oldrtvute
	gynecologist (Preview) A gynecologist decided that he would like a change in careers and so he got a job as a apprentice motor mechanic at the local garage . All went well as he enjoyed the job and as a result got good reports from all the costumers about the quality of his work . At the end of his apprenticeship there w...	oldrtvute	0	957	04:41 PM Jun 26, 2011 by oldrtvute
	Blond Joke (Preview) A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, 'Please come over here and help > me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get > started.' > > Her boyfriend asks, 'What is it supposed to be when it's finished?' > > The blonde says, 'According to the picture on the box, it's...	Peterpan	6	960	10:51 PM Jun 25, 2011 by lilly31
	Latin Medical names (Preview) Yeah , I wast wondering about all these medical terms that get chucked at us . Like in PPs thread 'kleptomania' & there's nymphomania And then the operations - tonsilectomy , appendectomy . I wonder if a Nymphomaniac's experience is called a 'slipadictome' Richo	Zoomtopz	2	1036	06:11 PM Jun 25, 2011 by jimricho
	Life Really Is This Simple! (Preview)	Firefly	10	845	04:44 PM Jun 25, 2011 by Cruising Granny
	Big is Smarter (Preview) With time, women gain weight because we accumulate so much information and wisdom in our heads that when there is no more room, it distributes out to the rest of our bodies. So we aren't heavy, we are enormously cultured, educated and happy. Beginning today, when I look at my backside in the mirr...	Cruising Granny	10	852	04:38 PM Jun 25, 2011 by Cruising Granny
	Senior citizens (Preview) Senior citizens are constantly being criticized for Every conceivable deficiency of the modern world, Real or imaginary. We know we take responsibility for all we have done and do not blame others. HOWEVER, upon reflection, we would like to point out that it was NOT the senior citizens who took: The...	robell	1	1131	09:24 PM Jun 24, 2011 by gubby
	Camera (Preview) A man was driving when he saw the flash of a traffic camera.He figured that his picture had been tkane for exceeding the limit, even though heknew that he was not speeding. Just to be sure, he went around the blockand passed the same spot, driving even more slowly, but again the cameraflashed. Now he be...	jimbo	0	819	08:25 PM Jun 24, 2011 by jimbo
	man in hospital (Preview) Man in hospital wearing a oxygen mask over his mouth ..Nurse he mumbles : are my testicles black ?? Nurses raises his gown holds his doddle in one hand and his testicles in the other .she take a close look and says ....Theres nothing wrong with them Sir .... Man pulls of oxygen mask ,smiles at her and says v...	lilly31	4	1034	02:03 PM Jun 24, 2011 by gubby
	An Oldie (Preview) I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it.	Peterpan	0	642	09:45 AM Jun 24, 2011 by Peterpan
	Only the Irish (Preview) 1. The Irish have solved their own fuel problems. They imported 50 million tonnes of sand from the Arabs and they're going to drill for their own oil.2. Paddy says to Mick, "Christmas is on a Friday this year".... Mick says "Let's hope it's not the 13th."3. Pa...	sucastja	1	690	07:45 AM Jun 24, 2011 by Firefly
	Astrology by Tonto (Preview) Astrology by Tonto The Lone Ranger and Tonto went camping in the desert. After they got their Tent all set up, both men fell sound asleep. Some hours later, Tonto wakes the Lone Ranger and says, 'Kemo Sabe, look Towards sky, what you see? ' 'The Lone Ranger replies, 'I see millions of stars.' 'Wha...	milo	2	777	06:30 AM Jun 24, 2011 by Cowboy7307
	HEALTH MESSAGE (Preview) 1. If walking/cycling is good for your health, the postman would be immortal. 2. A whale swims all day, only eats fish, drinks water and is fat. 3. A rabbit runs and hops and only lives 15 years. 4. A tortoise doesn't run, does nothing ..... yet lives for 450 years. AND YOU TELL ME TO EXERCISE! I'm retired,...	Cruising Granny	3	874	11:02 PM Jun 23, 2011 by Cruising Granny
	Only In Queensland (Preview) It is well known that humour is regional, but this is the first joke that I can say is truly a Queenslander: At a national conference of the Australian Hotels Association, the general managers of Cascade Brewery (Tasmania), Tooheys (New South Wales), XXXX (Queensland), CUB (Victoria) and Cooper...	Firefly	1	668	10:59 PM Jun 23, 2011 by Cruising Granny
	Work Or Pleasure? (Preview) An RAF Group Captain was about to start the morning briefing to his staff. While waiting for the coffee machine to finish its brewing, the Group Captain decided to pose a question to all assembled. He explained that his wife had been a bit frisky the night before and he failed to get his usual amount...	Firefly	2	874	09:39 AM Jun 23, 2011 by Pam
	God's Promise (Preview) While creating husbands, God promised women that good and ideal husbands would be found in all corners of the world. .... and then, made the earth round. That God, She's such a joker.........	Firefly	3	902	06:58 AM Jun 22, 2011 by jimricho
	THE MOST FUNCTIONAL ENGLISH WORD.. (Preview) THE MOST FUNCTIONAL ENGLISH WORD... Well, its **... That's right, ! may just be the most functional word in the English language. You can smoke , buy , sell , lose , find , forget , And tell others to eat . Some people know their **, while others can't tell the...	Cowboy7307	0	946	06:02 AM Jun 22, 2011 by Cowboy7307
	THE DIFFERENCE IF YOU MARRY A TASMANIAN GIRL (Preview) Three friends married women from different parts of the world. The first man married a British girl. He told her that she was to do the dishes and house cleaning. It took a couple of days, but on the third day, he came home to see a clean house and dishes washed and put away. The second man married a South Af...	Old Crofter	2	932	10:10 PM Jun 21, 2011 by Cruising Granny
	Men Are Seldom Depressed because - (Preview) Men Are Just Happier People -- What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water p...	Cruising Granny	5	967	10:06 PM Jun 21, 2011 by Cruising Granny
	New pics of gubby (Preview) more to come later	_wombat_	21	911	09:08 AM Jun 20, 2011 by gubby
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