|
midwife crisis
(Preview)
A young lady in the maternity ward just prior to Labour is asked by the midwife if she would like her husband to be present at the birth. "I afraid I don't have a husband" she replied "O.K. Do you have a boyfriend?" asks the Midwife. "No, no boyfriend either. Do you have a partn...
|
ozi2
|
2
|
894
|
|
|
|
|
AN AUSSIE POEM;
(Preview)
An Aussie Poem The sun was hot already - it was only 8 o'clock The ****y took off in his Ute, to go and check his stock. He drove around the paddocks checking wethers, ewes and lambs, The float valves in the water troughs, the windmills on the dams He stopped and turned a windmill on to fill a water tank And s...
|
justcruisin01
|
1
|
1275
|
|
|
|
|
Psychiatrists vs. Bartenders
(Preview)
Psychiatrists vs. Bartenders EVER SINCE I WAS A CHILD, I'VE ALWAYS HAD A FEAR OF SOMEONE UNDER MY BED AT NIGHT. SO I WENT TO A SHRINK AND TOLD HIM: 'I've got problems. Every time I go to bed I think there's somebody under it. I'm scared. I think I'm going crazy.' 'Just put yourself in my hands for one year,' s...
|
Vic
|
0
|
866
|
|
|
|
|
NO REPEATS;
(Preview)
A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor's office. "Is it true," she wanted to know, "that the medication you prescribed has to be taken for the rest of my life?" "'Yes, I'm afraid so,"' the doctor told her. There was a moment of silence before the senior lady r...
|
justcruisin01
|
0
|
912
|
|
|
|
|
Caravanner's Prayer
(Preview)
When we pack up in the morning may the annex be quite dry May the pegs be easily removed and no leaves stick to the fly Let the stabilisers wind up without that horrid squeak And loose items give no trouble when to stow them we seek May I back up with the ball lined up precisely with its mate And remember to re...
|
Vic
|
1
|
1095
|
|
|
|
|
A STUDENT WHO OBTAINED 0% ON AN EXAM...AND HOW HE DID IT
(Preview)
Q1. In which battle did Napoleon die? * his last battle Q2. Where was the Declaration of Independence signed? * at the bottom of the page Q3. River Ravi flows in which state? * liquid Q4. What is the main reason for divorce? * marriage Q5. What is the main reason for failure? * exams Q6. What can you...
|
old briney
|
3
|
1171
|
|
|
|
|
YOUR CRUISE AWAITS;
(Preview)
# How do they serve alcoholic drinks on Italian cruise ships? - On the rocks # What vegetables do you get with dinner on Italian cruise ships? - Leeks # What's the fastest way to get off an Italian cruise ship? - Follow the captain # When the captain of the ill fated Costa Concordia was asked if he knew where...
|
justcruisin01
|
1
|
895
|
|
|
|
|
Danger of using Ice
(Preview)
I did not know this... When you drink vodka over ice, it can give you kidney failure. When you drink rum over ice, it can give you liver failure. When you drink whiskey over ice, it can give you heart problems. When you drink gin over ice, it can give you brain problems. Apparently, ice is really bad for you...
|
jules47
|
0
|
948
|
|
|
|
|
The English Plural
(Preview)
The English Plural According to .... We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes, But the plural of ox becomes oxen, not oxes; One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, Yet the plural of moose should never be meese; You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice, Yet the plural of house is houses, not...
|
jules47
|
0
|
1086
|
|
|
|
|
Does she really need instructions??
(Preview)
-- Edited by jules47 on Thursday 2nd of February 2012 05:41:29 PM
|
jules47
|
3
|
955
|
|
|
|
|
Racism
(Preview)
HAVE NOT HEARD IT PUT BETTER!!!!!!!! A Paki's? son asks his dad, "Dad, what's democracy?" "Well, son, that's when whites work and we get all the benefits from it!" "But dad, aren't the white people pissed off about it?" "Sure they are son, but that's called '...
|
jimbo
|
0
|
858
|
|
|
|
|
EVER WONDER where we are headed...
(Preview)
Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin? Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed? Why you don't ever see the headline: "Psychic Wins Lottery"? Why "abbreviated" is such a long word? Why Doctors call what they do "practice"? Why you have to...
|
old briney
|
0
|
839
|
|
|
|
|
BATTLE OF MINDS
(Preview)
When girls don't put out!! This was written by a guy...it's pretty damn smart. Girls -- Please have a sense of humour! I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their h...
|
clazandaza
|
0
|
836
|
|
|
|
|
thief
(Preview)
You've no doubt heard about people who have been abducted and had their kidneys removed by black-market organ thieves. My thighs were stolen from me during the night a few yearsago. I went to sleep and woke up with someone else's thighs.It was just that quick. The replacements had the texture ofcoo...
|
oldrtvute
|
2
|
1029
|
|
|
|
|
New Shop
(Preview)
Smart Arse!!!! > > > > Two businessmen in Melbourne were sitting down for a > > break in their soon-to-be new shop... > > > > As yet, the shop wasn't ready, with only a few shelves > > set up. > > > > > > One said to the other, "I bet any minute no...
|
jules47
|
0
|
907
|
|
|
|
|
HAD TO POST IT
(Preview)
Got this while searching the net, but just had to post it
|
goinsoon
|
1
|
924
|
|
|
|
|
OUTSOURCING
(Preview)
|
goinsoon
|
0
|
866
|
|
|
|
|
A FASTER DOWNLOAD NEEDED;
(Preview)
|
justcruisin01
|
0
|
880
|
|
|
|
|
SQUARE TESTICALS;
(Preview)
Square Testicles * * * * * * An elderly woman walked into the Royal Bank of Canada one morning with a purse full of money. She wanted to open a savings account and insisted on talking to the president of the Bank because, she said, she had a lot of money. After many lengthy discussions (after all, the clien...
|
justcruisin01
|
2
|
1350
|
|
|
|
|
ONE GLASS!
(Preview)
|
justcruisin01
|
3
|
1089
|
|
|
