|
Married 44 Years
(Preview)
After being married for 44 years, a friend took a careful look at his wife one day and said, "darling, 40 years ago we had a cheap apartment, a cheap car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10-inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep every night with a hot 25-year-old girl. Now I have a $5...
|
jimricho
|
1
|
1141
|
|
|
|
|
Two Middle East Mothers
(Preview)
Two Middle East mothers are sitting in a cafe chatting over a plate of tabouli and a pint of goats milk. The older of the mothers pulls a bag out of her purse and starts flipping through photos. And they start reminiscing. This is my oldest son Mohammed. He would be 24 years old now. Yes, I remember him as a b...
|
jimricho
|
0
|
678
|
|
|
|
|
Young Bloke buying condoms for th 1st time
(Preview)
A young bloke goes into a chemist shop to buy some condoms . An experienced shop assistant serving him asks , What size ? Well , I don't know , how do I find out . Well there's a fence out the back with some holes in it , try them , then come back & let me know . The bloke goes out the back , as does the unlucky fo...
|
Zoomtopz
|
0
|
909
|
|
|
|
|
A BLONDE MOMENT;
(Preview)
THE HEART ATTACK A blonde gets home from work early & hears strange noises coming from the bedroom.She rushes upstairs only to find her husband naked lying on the bed, sweating and panting.'What's up?' she asks. 'I think I'm having a heart attack,' - cries the husband..The blonde rush...
|
justcruisin01
|
1
|
1250
|
|
|
|
|
SHORT WICK
(Preview)
The body builder takes off his shirt and the blonde says, "What a Great chest you have!' He tells her, 'That's 100 lbs.. of dynamite, Baby.' He takes off his pants and the blonde says,' "What massive calves you have!' ...
|
justcruisin01
|
1
|
1488
|
|
|
|
|
DEEP ENOUGH!!!!!
(Preview)
Irish Burial At Sea> > > > Mick and Paddy had promised their uncle Seamus, who had been a> seafaring gent all his life, to bury him at sea when he died. Of> course, in due time, he did pass away and the boys kept their promise.> > > > They set off with Uncle Seamus all...
|
justcruisin01
|
0
|
802
|
|
|
|
|
How to tell
(Preview)
How to Tell the Sex of a Fly A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter "What are you doing?" She asked. "Hunting Flies" He responded.. "Oh. ! Killing any?" She asked. "Yep, 3 males, 2 Females," he repl...
|
clazandaza
|
0
|
623
|
|
|
|
|
BUGGER:
(Preview)
Last night, my husband and I were sitting in the living room and I said to him,'I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle.He got up, unplugged the Computer, and threw out my wine. Bastard
|
justcruisin01
|
1
|
1119
|
|
|
|
|
Worst ever joke on the forum
(Preview)
This must be the worst ever joke on this forum Subject: See the Wizard of Oz for that . . . So, there's this yellow toad wandering around in the forest feeling very fed up because he doesn't want to be yellow. Life would be easier if he was brown like other toads.. He'd sure be less visible to predators for on...
|
jimricho
|
1
|
1058
|
|
|
|
|
QUACKUP;
(Preview)
Donald Duck and Daisy Duckwere spending the night together in a hotel roomand Donald wanted to have sex with Daisy. The first thing Daisy asked was,"Do you have a condom?" Donald frowned and said,"No!" Daisy told Donald that if he didn't get a condom,they could not have sex....
|
justcruisin01
|
1
|
945
|
|
|
|
|
HEALTH BULLETIN
(Preview)
Information has just been made public that is something you should all be aware of: Gonorrhoea Lectim. The Centre for Disease Control has issued a warning about a new virulent strain of this old disease. The disease is called Gonorrhoea Lectim. It's pronounced "Gonna re-elect 'im"...
|
justcruisin01
|
0
|
730
|
|
|
|
|
SHOES;
(Preview)
A blonde was on vacation and driving through Darwin. She desperately wanted to take home a pair of genuine crocodile shoes but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking. After becoming very frustrated with the 'no haggle on prices' attitude of one of the shopkeepers, th...
|
justcruisin01
|
0
|
683
|
|
|
|
|
Ambiguity
(Preview)
The Philosophy of Ambiguity FOR THOSE WHO LOVE THE PHILOSOPHY OF AMBIGUITY, AS WELL AS THE IDIOSYNCRASIES OF ENGLISH: 1. DON'T SWEAT THE PETTY THINGS AND DON'T PET THE SWEATY THINGS. 2. ONE TEQUILA, TWO TEQUILA, THREE TEQUILA, FLOOR. 3. ATHEISM IS A NON-PROPHET ORGANIZATION. 4. T...
|
clazandaza
|
0
|
827
|
|
|
|
|
check list.
(Preview)
Two Irishmen making a letter bomb Paddy- Do you think I've put enough explosives in? Mick- Dunno open it and see. Paddy- But it will explode. Mick - Don't be dumb Paddy its not addressed to you.
|
justcruisin01
|
0
|
801
|
|
|
|
|
BUSY;
(Preview)
What Do Retired People Do All Day? Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting. Well, for example, the other day my wife and I went into town and went into a shop. We were only in there for about 5 minutes. When we came out, there was a cop, writing out a parki...
|
justcruisin01
|
0
|
837
|
|
|
|
|
2nd opinion???????????????????????????
(Preview)
While in China , a man is sexually promiscuous and does not use a condom all the time he is there. A week after arriving back home in the States, he wakes one morning to find his penis covered with bright green and purple spots. Horrified, he immediately goes to see a doctor. The doctor, never havi...
|
justcruisin01
|
0
|
807
|
|
|
|
|
WISE MAN;
(Preview)
A farmer named Seamus had a car accident. In court, the lorry company's hot-shot solicitor was questioning Seamus. 'Didn't you say to the Police at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine?' asked the solicitor. Seamus responded: 'Well, I'll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favourite c...
|
justcruisin01
|
2
|
962
|
|
|
|
|
MOLLY;
(Preview)
Paddy and Murphy were talking one afternoon when Paddy tells Murphy, "Ya know, I reckon I'm 'bout ready for a vacation. Only this year I'm gonna do it a little different. The last few years, I took your advice about where to go. Three years ago you said to go to Hawaii .. I went to Hawaii and Moll...
|
justcruisin01
|
1
|
948
|
|
|
|
|
DIESES FITTER;
(Preview)
Paddy and Mick were both laid off, so they went to the unemployment office... When asked his occupation, Paddy answered, 'Knicker Stitcher. I sew da elastic onto ladies' knickers and thongs.' The clerk looked up Knicker Stitcher on his computer and, finding it classified as unskilled labour, he ga...
|
justcruisin01
|
1
|
792
|
|
|
|
|
DRUNK!
(Preview)
GOD LOVES DRUNK PEOPLE TOO A man and his wife were awoken at 3:00 am by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger,standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push. "Not a chance," says the husband, "it is 3:00 in the morning!&...
|
justcruisin01
|
0
|
856
|
|
|
