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An oldie but a goodie
(Preview)
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's ma...
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Hylda&Jon
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0
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755
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????????????????????????????????????
(Preview)
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justcruisin01
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1
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712
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the ekka - (brisbane show)
(Preview)
two ****ies pat and jim. pat says to jim "are ya going to the ekka this year jim. jim says yeah i am. pat says what route are ya taking? jim says oh i think i'll take the missus, afterall she stuck by me through the drought.......
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petengail
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0
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701
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SINGLE
(Preview)
Little old lady is sitting on a bench on Bondi Beach. A man walks over and sits down on the other end of the bench. After a few moments, the woman asks, "Are you a stranger here?" He replies, "I used to live here years ago." "So, where were you all these years?" "In...
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goinsoon
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0
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1146
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What's your name?
(Preview)
What's Your Name, Again? Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to playing cards a few times a week. One day when playing cards, one looked at the other and said, &q...
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goinsoon
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0
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754
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HORISONTAL VR,S VERTICAL?
(Preview)
> > Two > Irishmen were standing at the base of a flagpole, > looking up. > > > A blonde walks by and asked them what they were doing > > Paddy replied, 'We're supposed to be finding the > height of this flagpole, but we don't have a > ladder..' > >...
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justcruisin01
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1
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981
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unused;
(Preview)
The Elderly Irish Virgin In a tiny village on the Irish coast lived an old lady, a virgin, and very proud of it. Sensing that her final days were rapidly approaching, and desiring to make sure everything was in proper order when she dies, she went to the town's undertaker (who also happened to be the l...
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justcruisin01
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1
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760
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BLIND LEADER;
(Preview)
THE LABRADOR Paddy tells Mick ..."Im thinking of buying a Labrador. " "Fook off "say's Mick, " Are you mad???!!!!" "Have you seen how many of their owners go blind!?"
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justcruisin01
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0
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696
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BLONDS
(Preview)
DISNEYLANDTwo blondes were going to Disneyland . They were driving on the Interstate when they saw the sign that said Disneyland LEFT.. They started crying and turned around and went home. FLORIDA OR MOONTwo blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking, and one blonde says to the...
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justcruisin01
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2
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852
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quick answers;
(Preview)
SMART ASS ANSWER #6 It was mealtime during an airline flight. 'Would you like dinner?' the flight attendant asked John, seated in front. 'What are my choices?' John asked. 'Yes or no,' she replied. SMART ASS ANSWER #5 A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man app...
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justcruisin01
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0
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858
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Fortune-Teller
(Preview)
John went to a fortune teller for some guidance. The fortune-teller gazed into her crystal ball and then started laughing uncontrollably.So John punched her on the nose. It was the first time he'd ever struck a happy medium.
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Hylda&Jon
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0
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702
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Wiremu
(Preview)
Wiremu, a New Zealander, was in Australia to watch the upcoming Rugby World Cup and was not feeling well, So he decided to see a doctor. "Hey doc, I dun't feel so good, ey" said Wiremu. The doctor gave him a thorough examination and informed Wiremu that he had long existing and advanced prost...
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jimricho
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1
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790
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Bacon Tree
(Preview)
Bacon Tree Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert after crossing into the United States, wandering aimlessly and starving. They are about to just lie down and wait for death, when all of a sudden Luis says......... "Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell. Ees bacon, I theenk." "Si...
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clazandaza
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2
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795
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A bit short
(Preview)
A three legged dog limped into a saloon . I'm looking for th bloke who shot my paw
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Zoomtopz
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2
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922
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Life in the Australian Army...
(Preview)
Life in the Australian Army... Text of a letter from a kid from Eromanga to Mum and Dad. (For Those of you not in the know, Eromanga is a small town, west of Quilpie in the far south west of Queensland ) Dear Mum & Dad I am well. Hope youse are too. Tell me big brothers Doug and Phil that the Army is better th...
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jimricho
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2
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960
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R&R
(Preview)
An American soldier, serving in World War II, had just returned from several weeks of intense action on the German front lines. He had finally been granted R&R and was on a train bound for London. The train was very crowded, so the soldier walked the length of the train, looking for an empty seat. Th...
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goinsoon
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1
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853
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the crimson parrot;
(Preview)
It's been a rough week but I made it - how about you?
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justcruisin01
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0
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874
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Where's
(Preview)
I have not seen Granny on lately , or is she she just being a Lerkalot
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Zoomtopz
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0
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902
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The Emu
(Preview)
An Aussie truckie walks into an outback cafe with a full-grown emu behind him. The waitress asks them for their orders. The truckie says, 'A hamburger, chips and a coke, 'and turns to the emu, 'What's yours?' 'I'll have the same,' says the emu. A short time later the waitress returns with the order 'Tha...
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Zoomtopz
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0
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849
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Examiner
(Preview)
My wife just reminded me of this - True , one of Zoomtopz'z real life stories . Barbara was expecting our son , she was 40 having her 1st child . I was 46 & 4th . Being a good little hubby I goes along to pre-natal classes with all the 20something . We were dutifully doing all the exercises as the midwife is...
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Zoomtopz
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1
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810
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