Just Joking

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

- A Chinese man decides to move to Australia after 50 years of living in Shanghai. He buys a small piece of land near Mt Isa. A few days after moving in, the friendly Aussie neighbour decides to go across and Welcome the new guy to the region. He goes next door but on his way up the drive-way he sees the Chines...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

The woman applying for a job in a lemon orchard seemed to be far too qualified for the job; given her liberal arts degree from the Sydney University and her jobs as a social worker and school teacher. The foreman frowned and said, "I have to ask you this: "Have you had any actual experience in p...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

> > > > My wife and I walked past a swanky new restaurant last night. > > > > > > "Did you smell that food? It smelt incredible!" she said. > > > > > > > > Being the nice guy I am, I thought "Damn it, I'll treat her!" > > >...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

Always keep several get well cards onthe mantle.. So if unexpectedguests arrive, Theywill think you've been sick and unable to clean.

jimbo · jimbo

Larry gets home late one night and Linda, his wife, says "Where the hell have you been?" Larry replies "I was out getting a tattoo!" "A tattoo"? She frowned. "What kind of tattoo did you get?" "I got a hundred dollar bill on my privates" he said...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

Mother Superior was on her way to late morning prayers when she passed two novices just leaving early morning prayers on their way to classes. As she passed the young ladies, Mother Superior said, "Good morning ladies." The novices replied, "Good morning, Mother Superior, may Go...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

Banking Crisis! If the global crisis continues at the present rate, by the end of this year only two banks will be left operational....the Blood Bank and the Sperm Bank! And before you know it, these two will merge, and the whole place will be full of bloody wankers.

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

A female police officer arrests a man for drunk driving. She tells the man, "Sir, you have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be held against you." The drunk says, "Tits".

Cruising Granny · Cruising Granny

Donation Father O'Malley answers the phone. 'Hello, is this Father O'Malley?' 'It is!' 'This is the Internal Revenue Service . Can you help us?' 'I can!' Do you know a Ted Houlihan?' 'I do!' 'Is he a member of your congregation?' 'He is!' 'Did he donate $10,000 to the church?' 'He will.' Senility An e...

jimbo · jimbo

Time machine Barak Obama and Julia Gillard are shown a time machine which can see 100 years into the future. They both decide to test it by asking a question each. Barak goes first. What will the USA be like in 100 years time? The machine whirs and beeps and goes into action and gives him a printou...

sucastja · sucastja

Dr Nut Ting Wong Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true? A: Your heart only good for so many beats, and that it... Don't waste on exercise Everything ... wear out eventually. Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it like saying you extend life ... of car b...

sucastja · sucastja

In a crowded city at a busy bus stop, a woman who was waiting for a bus was wearing a tight leather skirt. As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step of the bus. Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smil...

rockylizard · rockylizard

Gday... My dog chases people on a bicycle. It got so bad I had to take his bicycle away from him. (courtesy of Pam Ayers)

JRH · JRH

Why Sharks Circle You Before Attacking Two great white sharks swimming in the ocean spied survivors of a ship that had sunk. "Follow me son" the father shark said to his son and they swam to the survivors. "First we swim around them a few times with just the tip of our fins showing.&quo...

sucastja · sucastja

STUD ROOSTER A farmer went out one day and bought a brand new stud rooster for his chicken coop. The new rooster struts over to the old rooster and says, 'OK old fart, time for you to retire.' The old rooster replies, 'Come on, surely you cannot handle ALL of these chickens. Look what it has done to me Can't...

DKay · DKay

Sign over a Gynecologist's Office:"Dr. Jones, at your cervix."**************************In a Podiatrist's office:"Time wounds all heels."****************************************************On a Plumber's truck:"We repair what your husband fixed.&q...

Vic · Vic

Lexiphile (i.e., "lovers of words" you know . . . . like . . .. you can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish . . .. or, I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger . . . .. then it hit me .. . . .etc.). Well, here are some for you to enjoy. To write with a broken pencil is . . . pointless. When fish are in...

Vic · Vic

To the organisers of the Man Boob contest at Greens Lake, I would like to enter my picture for the next contest, hope I qualify. PS: If anyone else has a photo entry for this contest please add to this thread.

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

A dentist noticed that his next patient, a little old lady,was nervous, so he decided to tell her a little jokeas he put on his gloves. 'Do you know how they make these gloves?' he asked. 'No, I don't,' she replied. 'Well,' he spoofed, 'there's a building in Canada with a big tank of latex, and wo...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	AUSSIE CUSTOMS (Preview) - A Chinese man decides to move to Australia after 50 years of living in Shanghai. He buys a small piece of land near Mt Isa. A few days after moving in, the friendly Aussie neighbour decides to go across and Welcome the new guy to the region. He goes next door but on his way up the drive-way he sees the Chines...	justcruisin01	1	963	09:06 AM Nov 30, 2011 by jules47
	LEMON PICKER; (Preview) The woman applying for a job in a lemon orchard seemed to be far too qualified for the job; given her liberal arts degree from the Sydney University and her jobs as a social worker and school teacher. The foreman frowned and said, "*I have to ask you this: "Have you had any actual experience in p...*	justcruisin01	3	1038	04:10 PM Nov 29, 2011 by jimbo
	HOW DOES YOUR HUBBY COMPARE? (Preview) > > > > My wife and I walked past a swanky new restaurant last night. > > > > > > "Did you smell that food? It smelt incredible!" she said. > > > > > > > > Being the nice guy I am, I thought "Damn it, I'll treat her!" > > >...	justcruisin01	0	774	09:26 PM Nov 28, 2011 by justcruisin01
	TIP; (Preview) Always keep several get well cards onthe mantle.. So if unexpectedguests arrive, Theywill think you've been sick and unable to clean.	justcruisin01	1	911	07:37 PM Nov 28, 2011 by tonyd
	$100.00 (Preview) Larry gets home late one night and Linda, his wife, says "Where the hell have you been?" Larry replies "I was out getting a tattoo!" "A tattoo"? She frowned. "What kind of tattoo did you get?" "I got a hundred dollar bill on my privates" he said...	jimbo	1	955	06:57 PM Nov 28, 2011 by Cruising Granny
	MOTHER SUPERIOR! (Preview) Mother Superior was on her way to late morning prayers when she passed two novices just leaving early morning prayers on their way to classes. As she passed the young ladies, Mother Superior said, "Good morning ladies." The novices replied, "Good morning, Mother Superior, may Go...	justcruisin01	1	966	09:11 AM Nov 28, 2011 by pauline
	BANKING CRISIS; (Preview) Banking Crisis! If the global crisis continues at the present rate, by the end of this year only two banks will be left operational....the Blood Bank and the Sperm Bank! And before you know it, these two will merge, and the whole place will be full of bloody wankers.	justcruisin01	1	809	09:09 AM Nov 28, 2011 by pauline
	reading your rights (Preview) A female police officer arrests a man for drunk driving. She tells the man, "Sir, you have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be held against you." The drunk says, "Tits".	justcruisin01	0	781	10:22 PM Nov 27, 2011 by justcruisin01
	A Collection of Smiles (Preview) Donation Father O'Malley answers the phone. 'Hello, is this Father O'Malley?' 'It is!' 'This is the Internal Revenue Service . Can you help us?' 'I can!' Do you know a Ted Houlihan?' 'I do!' 'Is he a member of your congregation?' 'He is!' 'Did he donate $10,000 to the church?' 'He will.' Senility An e...	Cruising Granny	1	939	09:24 PM Nov 27, 2011 by jules47
	Time Machine (Preview) Time machine Barak Obama and Julia Gillard are shown a time machine which can see 100 years into the future. They both decide to test it by asking a question each. Barak goes first. What will the USA be like in 100 years time? The machine whirs and beeps and goes into action and gives him a printou...	jimbo	0	755	01:57 PM Nov 25, 2011 by jimbo
	Dr Nut Ting Wong (Preview) Dr Nut Ting Wong Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true? A: Your heart only good for so many beats, and that it... Don't waste on exercise Everything ... wear out eventually. Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it like saying you extend life ... of car b...	sucastja	0	2103	09:21 PM Nov 24, 2011 by sucastja
	The bus and the zipper (Preview) In a crowded city at a busy bus stop, a woman who was waiting for a bus was wearing a tight leather skirt. As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step of the bus. Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smil...	sucastja	1	1118	11:18 AM Nov 23, 2011 by rvtraveller2
	Dog (Preview) Gday... My dog chases people on a bicycle. It got so bad I had to take his bicycle away from him. (courtesy of Pam Ayers)	rockylizard	1	1104	11:02 PM Nov 22, 2011 by goinsoon
	Why Sharks Swim In Circles (Preview) Why Sharks Circle You Before Attacking Two great white sharks swimming in the ocean spied survivors of a ship that had sunk. "Follow me son" the father shark said to his son and they swam to the survivors. "First we swim around them a few times with just the tip of our fins showing.&quo...	JRH	0	1052	11:15 AM Nov 22, 2011 by JRH
	Old Rooster vs Stud Rooster (Preview) STUD ROOSTER A farmer went out one day and bought a brand new stud rooster for his chicken coop. The new rooster struts over to the old rooster and says, 'OK old fart, time for you to retire.' The old rooster replies, 'Come on, surely you cannot handle ALL of these chickens. Look what it has done to me Can't...	sucastja	0	1230	06:06 PM Nov 21, 2011 by sucastja
	"Sayings" (Preview) Sign over a Gynecologist's Office:"Dr. Jones, at your cervix."************************In a Podiatrist's office:"Time wounds all heels."**************************************************On a Plumber's truck:"We repair what your husband fixed.&q...	DKay	0	1037	02:28 PM Nov 21, 2011 by DKay
	Lexiphile..... (Preview) Lexiphile (i.e., "lovers of words" you know . . . . like . . .. you can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish . . .. or, I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger . . . .. then it hit me .. . . .etc.). Well, here are some for you to enjoy. To write with a broken pencil is . . . pointless. When fish are in...	Vic	1	1300	10:49 PM Nov 20, 2011 by goinsoon
	Get Together Man Boob Contest - Entry Photo's here (Preview) To the organisers of the Man Boob contest at Greens Lake, I would like to enter my picture for the next contest, hope I qualify. PS: If anyone else has a photo entry for this contest please add to this thread.	Vic	10	2097	10:39 PM Nov 20, 2011 by Vic
	REHAB! (Preview)	justcruisin01	0	1046	04:39 PM Nov 20, 2011 by justcruisin01
	RUBBER GLOVES; (Preview) A dentist noticed that his next patient, a little old lady,was nervous, so he decided to tell her a little jokeas he put on his gloves. 'Do you know how they make these gloves?' he asked. 'No, I don't,' she replied. 'Well,' he spoofed, 'there's a building in Canada with a big tank of latex, and wo...	justcruisin01	0	901	04:36 PM Nov 20, 2011 by justcruisin01
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