Just Joking

robell · robell

WHAT I OWE MY MOTHER: 1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. 'If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.' 2. My mother taught me RELIGION. 'You better pray that this will come out of the carpet.' 3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL 'If you don't straight...

jimbo · jimbo

The Irish have solved their own fuel problems. They imported 50 million tonnes of sand from the Arabs and they're going to drill for their own oil. _ Two Irishmen find a mirror in the road. The first one picks it up & says, "Blow me I know this face but I can't put a name to it." The second pick...

robell · robell

you gotta luv the irish!! Paddy rings his new girlfriend's door bell, with a big bunch of flowers. She opens the door, sees the flowers, and drags him in. She lies back on the couch, pulls her skirt up, rips her knickers off and says 'This is for the flowers!' 'Don't be silly,' says Paddy, 'You must have a v...

jules47 · jules47

Women are like phones: They like to be held, talked to, and touched often. But push the wrong button and your ass is disconnected! Women are Angels. And when someone breaks our wings.... We simply continue to fly ......... on a broomstick..... We are flexible like that.

Vic · Vic

This is funny, but also very sad for those in that position.... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mV-oYe4xLkU -- Edited by Vic on Tuesday 2nd of August 2011 03:46:38 PM

Beth54 · Beth54

After a long night of making love, the guy notices a photo of another man, on the woman's nightstand by the bed. He begins to worry. 'Is this your husband?' he nervously asks. 'No, silly,' she replies, snuggling up to him. 'Your boyfriend, then?' he continues. 'No, not at all,' she says, nibbling away...

Beth54 · Beth54

If you're offended by the 'f' word, don't watch this, but it is very funny. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3xtcB457jqQ

jimbo · jimbo

THE TOILET SEAT Charlie's wife, Lucy, had been after him for several weeks to paint the seat on their toilet. Finally, he got around to doing it while Lucy was out. After finishing, he left to take care of another matter before she returned. She came in and undressed to take a shower. Before getting i...

Peterpan · Peterpan

A little elderly lady was wandering through a town in which she was a stranger. In her wanderings she became lost. She decided to ask for directions and thought it best to get it from a local householder. She knocked at the door of a house that was painted red. The door was answered by a small man dressed...

jimbo · jimbo

Subject: Fw: rye bread Two old guys, one 80 and the other 87, were sitting on their usual park bench one morning. The 87 year old had just finished his morning jog and wasn't even short of breath. The 80 year old was amazed at his friend's stamina and asked him what he did to have so much energy. The 87 yea...

sucastja · sucastja

This is dedicated to all of us who are seniors, to all of you who know seniors, and to all of you who will become seniors. "WHERE is my SUNDAY paper?!" The irate customer calling the newsagent, loudly demanded to know. "Madam", said the newsagent, "today is Saturday. The S...

Zoomtopz · Zoomtopz

Students at a Medical School were receiving their first anatomy class with a real dead human body. They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet. Then the Professor started the class by telling them: 'In medicine, it is necessary to have two important qualities a...

Wombat 280 · Wombat 280

Not sure if this should be in the joke section as it right on target for mine

Cowboy7307 · Cowboy7307

After a visit to the whore house, a man notices green lumps on his willy, So he goes to the doctors Thats serious says the doctor. You know how wrestlers get cauliflower ears? Yes says the man seriously. Well says the doctor Youve got brothel sprouts.

Zoomtopz · Zoomtopz

Two Crocodiles were sitting at the side of the swamp near the lake in Canberra . The smaller one turned to the bigger one and said, "I can't understand how you can be so much bigger than me. We're the same age, we were the same size as kids. I just don't get it." " Well," said the bi...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

You appeared from no where and shamelessly, without any reservations, you laid on my naked body...you sensed my indifference, so you applied your hungry mouth to me without any guilt or humiliation, and you drove me near crazy while you drained me. Finally, I drifted off to sleep. Today when I aw...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

"A SCOTTISH WEDDING" Two Glaswegians, Archie and Jimmy, are sitting in the pub discussing Jimmy's forthcoming wedding. "Och, it's all goin' pure brilliant," says Jimmy. "Ay've got everythin' organised ulriddy, the fluers, the Kirk,the mootor caurs, the recuption...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

STAY!I pulled into the crowded parking lot at the local shopping centre and rolled down the car windows to make sure my Labrador Retriever pup had fresh air. She was stretched full-out on the back seat and I wanted to impress upon her that she must remain there. I walked to the curb backward, pointing my...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

Sitting in a bar a Scotsman says, "As good as this bar is, I still prefer the pubs back home.In Glasgow , there's a wee place called McTavish's. The landlord goes out of his way for the locals. When you buy four drinks, he'll buy the fifth drink." "Well, Angus," said the English...

jules47 · jules47

A man was sunbathing naked at the beach. For the sake of civility, and to keep it from getting sunburned, he had a hat over his private parts. A woman walks past and says, snickering, "If you were a gentleman you'd lift your hat." He raised an eyebrow and replied, "If you were better loo...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	How many times have you heard these (Preview) WHAT I OWE MY MOTHER: 1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. 'If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.' 2. My mother taught me RELIGION. 'You better pray that this will come out of the carpet.' 3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL 'If you don't straight...	robell	6	1260	08:55 PM Aug 4, 2011 by robell
	Irish (Preview) The Irish have solved their own fuel problems. They imported 50 million tonnes of sand from the Arabs and they're going to drill for their own oil. _ Two Irishmen find a mirror in the road. The first one picks it up & says, "Blow me I know this face but I can't put a name to it." The second pick...	jimbo	1	880	06:38 PM Aug 4, 2011 by Travel Bug
	Irish love (Preview) you gotta luv the irish!! Paddy rings his new girlfriend's door bell, with a big bunch of flowers. She opens the door, sees the flowers, and drags him in. She lies back on the couch, pulls her skirt up, rips her knickers off and says 'This is for the flowers!' 'Don't be silly,' says Paddy, 'You must have a v...	robell	0	870	06:43 PM Aug 2, 2011 by robell
	Feminine Philosophy (Preview) Women are like phones: They like to be held, talked to, and touched often. But push the wrong button and your ass is disconnected! Women are Angels. And when someone breaks our wings.... We simply continue to fly ......... on a broomstick..... We are flexible like that.	jules47	0	887	04:29 PM Aug 2, 2011 by jules47
	I'd Rather Be Dead Than Wet My Bed.....Harry Nilson (Preview) This is funny, but also very sad for those in that position.... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mV-oYe4xLkU -- Edited by Vic on Tuesday 2nd of August 2011 03:46:38 PM	Vic	0	1004	03:46 PM Aug 2, 2011 by Vic
	The photo (Preview) After a long night of making love, the guy notices a photo of another man, on the woman's nightstand by the bed. He begins to worry. 'Is this your husband?' he nervously asks. 'No, silly,' she replies, snuggling up to him. 'Your boyfriend, then?' he continues. 'No, not at all,' she says, nibbling away...	Beth54	2	1189	09:15 PM Aug 1, 2011 by Travel Bug
	Noni Hazelhurst (Preview) If you're offended by the 'f' word, don't watch this, but it is very funny. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3xtcB457jqQ	Beth54	4	1192	06:29 PM Jul 31, 2011 by Beth54
	Toilet seat (Preview) THE TOILET SEAT Charlie's wife, Lucy, had been after him for several weeks to paint the seat on their toilet. Finally, he got around to doing it while Lucy was out. After finishing, he left to take care of another matter before she returned. She came in and undressed to take a shower. Before getting i...	jimbo	0	1038	11:12 AM Jul 31, 2011 by jimbo
	Another Oldie (Preview) A little elderly lady was wandering through a town in which she was a stranger. In her wanderings she became lost. She decided to ask for directions and thought it best to get it from a local householder. She knocked at the door of a house that was painted red. The door was answered by a small man dressed...	Peterpan	0	870	05:12 PM Jul 29, 2011 by Peterpan
	Rye Bread (Preview) Subject: Fw: rye bread Two old guys, one 80 and the other 87, were sitting on their usual park bench one morning. The 87 year old had just finished his morning jog and wasn't even short of breath. The 80 year old was amazed at his friend's stamina and asked him what he did to have so much energy. The 87 yea...	jimbo	0	911	11:12 AM Jul 29, 2011 by jimbo
	A Very Upset Customer (Preview) This is dedicated to all of us who are seniors, to all of you who know seniors, and to all of you who will become seniors. "WHERE is my SUNDAY paper?!" The irate customer calling the newsagent, loudly demanded to know. "Madam", said the newsagent, "today is Saturday. The S...	sucastja	0	842	10:14 AM Jul 29, 2011 by sucastja
	It's IMPORTANT to pay Attention (Preview) Students at a Medical School were receiving their first anatomy class with a real dead human body. They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet. Then the Professor started the class by telling them: 'In medicine, it is necessary to have two important qualities a...	Zoomtopz	0	848	04:57 AM Jul 29, 2011 by Zoomtopz
	Juila (Preview) Not sure if this should be in the joke section as it right on target for mine	Wombat 280	1	784	02:41 PM Jul 28, 2011 by JRH
	Whore house (Preview) After a visit to the whore house, a man notices green lumps on his willy, So he goes to the doctors Thats serious says the doctor. You know how wrestlers get cauliflower ears? Yes says the man seriously. Well says the doctor Youve got brothel sprouts.	Cowboy7307	0	829	09:29 AM Jul 27, 2011 by Cowboy7307
	Two Crocodiles (Preview) Two Crocodiles were sitting at the side of the swamp near the lake in Canberra . The smaller one turned to the bigger one and said, "I can't understand how you can be so much bigger than me. We're the same age, we were the same size as kids. I just don't get it." " Well," said the bi...	Zoomtopz	0	802	06:40 AM Jul 27, 2011 by Zoomtopz
	SUMMER ROMANCE (Preview) You appeared from no where and shamelessly, without any reservations, you laid on my naked body...you sensed my indifference, so you applied your hungry mouth to me without any guilt or humiliation, and you drove me near crazy while you drained me. Finally, I drifted off to sleep. Today when I aw...	justcruisin01	1	877	09:26 PM Jul 26, 2011 by Happywanderer
	"A SCOTTISH WEDDING (Preview) "A SCOTTISH WEDDING" Two Glaswegians, Archie and Jimmy, are sitting in the pub discussing Jimmy's forthcoming wedding. "Och, it's all goin' pure brilliant," says Jimmy. "Ay've got everythin' organised ulriddy, the fluers, the Kirk,the mootor caurs, the recuption...	justcruisin01	0	813	07:49 PM Jul 26, 2011 by justcruisin01
	STAY! (Preview) STAY!I pulled into the crowded parking lot at the local shopping centre and rolled down the car windows to make sure my Labrador Retriever pup had fresh air. She was stretched full-out on the back seat and I wanted to impress upon her that she must remain there. I walked to the curb backward, pointing my...	justcruisin01	0	853	07:52 PM Jul 25, 2011 by justcruisin01
	FREE DRINKS! (Preview) Sitting in a bar a Scotsman says, "As good as this bar is, I still prefer the pubs back home.In Glasgow , there's a wee place called McTavish's. The landlord goes out of his way for the locals. When you buy four drinks, he'll buy the fifth drink." "Well, Angus," said the English...	justcruisin01	0	892	07:49 PM Jul 25, 2011 by justcruisin01
	Old people (Preview) A man was sunbathing naked at the beach. For the sake of civility, and to keep it from getting sunburned, he had a hat over his private parts. A woman walks past and says, snickering, "If you were a gentleman you'd lift your hat." He raised an eyebrow and replied, "If you were better loo...	jules47	0	962	08:19 PM Jul 24, 2011 by jules47
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