Just Joking

clazandaza · clazandaza

This was sent to me by a Pommie mate of mine. A bloke walks into a brothel and says: "I'm a bit kinky, how much for total humiliation?" The madam replies $60. "Wow, what do I get for that," he says. She says: "A baggy green cap and an Australia shirt.

jules47 · jules47

You don't have to own a cat to appreciate this one! You don't even have to like 'em! We were dressed and ready to go out for the New Year's Eve Party. We turned on a night light, turned the answering machine on, covered our pet parakeet and put the cat in the backyard. We phoned the local cab company and requ...

kesue · kesue

A guy goes to the dentist and asks him to take out a tooth that is aching badly. He sits in the chair and the dentist is just about to give him an injection to remove the tooth when he says to the dentist "Please no needles I cant stand them" Thats okay I will give you gas instead says the dentist. &...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

WHO IS JACK SCHITT? For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt? We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt'! Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an intellectual way. Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt. Awe Schitt, the f...

Pam · Pam

Paddy falls down a hole. "whats down there?" Murphy asked, "milk" said paddy, "is it pasteurised?" asked Murphy " nah it's only to my knees" said Paddy

jules47 · jules47

Being a modest man, when I checked into my hotel on a recent trip, I said to the lady at the registration desk, "I hope the porn channel in my room is disabled." To which she replied, "No, it's regular porn, you sick bastard.

Zoomtopz · Zoomtopz

ITALIAN HONEYMOON - in a best a Italian accent a After returning from his honeymoon in Florida with his new bride, Virginia, Luigi stopped by his old barbershop in Jersey to say hello to this friends. Giovanni said, "Hey Luigi, how wasa da treep?" Luigi said, "Everyting wasa per...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

Patrick walks into a bar in Dublin, Orders three pints of Guinness & sits in the corner of the room, Drinking a sip out of each pint in turn. When he had finished all three, He went back to the bar & ordered three more. The barman says, "You know a pint goes flat soon after I pull it .....

Hylda&Jon · Hylda&Jon

HAVE YOU EVER SEEN v v v v v v v v v v v v v v ONE LIKE THIS ? v v v v Oh, for Pete's sake . . . calm down ! . . It's just a baby Panda.. . . New born. . . ...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

The husband leans over and asks his wife, 'Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you.' Yes, she says, 'I remember it well.' OK,' he says, 'How about taking a stroll aroun...

jimricho · jimricho

My wife found out that our dog (a Schnauzer) could hardly hear, so she took it to the veterinarian. The vet found that the problem was hair in the dog's ears. He cleaned both ears, and the dog could then hear fine. The vet then proceeded to tell Andrea that, if she wanted to keep this from recurring, she sh...

Firefly · Firefly

A group of 40-year old girlfriends discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the waiters there had tight pants and nice asses. 10 years later, at age 50, the friends once again discussed where they should meet for lunch....

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

The PERFECT HUSBAND Several men are in the locker room of a golf club.. A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands free speaker function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen. MAN: "Hello" WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?&qu...

jimricho · jimricho

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

A little boy was sitting on the footpath with a bottle of Turpentine.. He was shaking it up and watching all the bubbles. A Priest came along and asked the little boy what he had. The little boy said, 'This is the most powerful liquid in the world; it's called Turpentine.' The Priest said, 'No, the mos...

Firefly · Firefly

A married couple were on holiday in Jamaica . They were touring around the market-place looking at the goods and such, when they passed a small sandal shop. From inside they heard the shopkeeper with a Jamaican accent say,'You foreigners! Come in. Come into my humble shop.' So the married couple wa...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

For 2 years a man was having an affair with an Italian woman. One night, she confided in him that she was pregnant. Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he paid her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to secretly have the child. If she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he woul...

Ma · Ma

For all Who Work With Rude Customers, isn't it a shame WE can't actually do this! An award should go to the Virgin Airlines desk attendant in Sydney some months ago for being smart and funny, while making her point, when confronted with a passenger who probably deserved to fly as cargo. A crowded Virgi...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

A little boy goes to his father and asks 'Daddy, how was I born ?' The father answers, 'Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo. Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe. We...

jimricho · jimricho

Sign outside Pub... (hope that works ok now) -- Edited by jimricho on Tuesday 16th of November 2010 08:53:28 PM

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	These Pommies are quick!! (Preview) This was sent to me by a Pommie mate of mine. A bloke walks into a brothel and says: "I'm a bit kinky, how much for total humiliation?" The madam replies $60. "Wow, what do I get for that," he says. She says: "A baggy green cap and an Australia shirt.	clazandaza	1	1010	05:30 PM Jan 9, 2011 by petengail
	The cat (Preview) You don't have to own a cat to appreciate this one! You don't even have to like 'em! We were dressed and ready to go out for the New Year's Eve Party. We turned on a night light, turned the answering machine on, covered our pet parakeet and put the cat in the backyard. We phoned the local cab company and requ...	jules47	0	861	05:06 PM Jan 6, 2011 by jules47
	The Dentist (Preview) A guy goes to the dentist and asks him to take out a tooth that is aching badly. He sits in the chair and the dentist is just about to give him an injection to remove the tooth when he says to the dentist "Please no needles I cant stand them" Thats okay I will give you gas instead says the dentist. &...	kesue	0	855	02:51 PM Jan 5, 2011 by kesue
	JACK SCHMITT; (Preview) *WHO IS JACK SCHITT?* For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt? We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt'! Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an intellectual way. Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt. Awe Schitt, the f...	justcruisin01	1	1045	06:08 AM Dec 30, 2010 by sandsmere
	Paddy and Murphy (Preview) Paddy falls down a hole. "whats down there?" Murphy asked, "milk" said paddy, "is it pasteurised?" asked Murphy " nah it's only to my knees" said Paddy	Pam	0	927	10:43 AM Dec 24, 2010 by Pam
	checking in (Preview) Being a modest man, when I checked into my hotel on a recent trip, I said to the lady at the registration desk, "I hope the porn channel in my room is disabled." To which she replied, "No, it's regular porn, you sick bastard.	jules47	1	1178	04:49 PM Dec 13, 2010 by jimbo
	Italian Honeymoon - must be read with best Italian accent (Preview) ITALIAN HONEYMOON - in a best a Italian accent a After returning from his honeymoon in Florida with his new bride, Virginia, Luigi stopped by his old barbershop in Jersey to say hello to this friends. Giovanni said, "Hey Luigi, how wasa da treep?" Luigi said, "Everyting wasa per...	Zoomtopz	1	1157	07:21 AM Dec 13, 2010 by jimricho
	PATRICK;; (Preview) Patrick walks into a bar in Dublin, Orders three pints of Guinness & sits in the corner of the room, Drinking a sip out of each pint in turn. When he had finished all three, He went back to the bar & ordered three more. The barman says, "You know a pint goes flat soon after I pull it .....	justcruisin01	0	1006	07:12 PM Dec 3, 2010 by justcruisin01
	What were you thinking? (Preview) HAVE YOU EVER SEEN v v v v v v v v v v v v v v ONE LIKE THIS ? v v v v Oh, for Pete's sake . . . calm down ! . . It's just a baby Panda.. . . New born. . . ...	Hylda&Jon	0	979	03:37 PM Dec 3, 2010 by Hylda&Jon
	SENIOR SEX; (Preview) The husband leans over and asks his wife, 'Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you.' Yes, she says, 'I remember it well.' OK,' he says, 'How about taking a stroll aroun...	justcruisin01	0	4580	08:42 PM Nov 30, 2010 by justcruisin01
	Hair Remover (Preview) My wife found out that our dog (a Schnauzer) could hardly hear, so she took it to the veterinarian. The vet found that the problem was hair in the dog's ears. He cleaned both ears, and the dog could then hear fine. The vet then proceeded to tell Andrea that, if she wanted to keep this from recurring, she sh...	jimricho	2	1079	06:17 PM Nov 29, 2010 by bill12
	Where To Meet For Lunch... (Preview) A group of 40-year old girlfriends discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the waiters there had tight pants and nice asses. 10 years later, at age 50, the friends once again discussed where they should meet for lunch....	Firefly	0	930	05:36 PM Nov 29, 2010 by Firefly
	THE PERFECT HUSBAND; (Preview) The PERFECT HUSBAND Several men are in the locker room of a golf club.. A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands free speaker function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen. MAN: "Hello" WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?&qu...	justcruisin01	0	751	10:39 AM Nov 28, 2010 by justcruisin01
	The Good Ol' Days... (Preview)	jimricho	0	957	08:39 PM Nov 26, 2010 by jimricho
	TURPS; (Preview) A little boy was sitting on the footpath with a bottle of Turpentine.. He was shaking it up and watching all the bubbles. A Priest came along and asked the little boy what he had. The little boy said, 'This is the most powerful liquid in the world; it's called Turpentine.' The Priest said, 'No, the mos...	justcruisin01	0	927	09:55 PM Nov 22, 2010 by justcruisin01
	Magic Sandals (Preview) A married couple were on holiday in Jamaica . They were touring around the market-place looking at the goods and such, when they passed a small sandal shop. From inside they heard the shopkeeper with a Jamaican accent say,'You foreigners! Come in. Come into my humble shop.' So the married couple wa...	Firefly	0	859	09:00 PM Nov 21, 2010 by Firefly
	SPAGHETTI; (Preview) For 2 years a man was having an affair with an Italian woman. One night, she confided in him that she was pregnant. Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he paid her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to secretly have the child. If she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he woul...	justcruisin01	0	989	08:35 PM Nov 21, 2010 by justcruisin01
	RUDE CUSTOMERS (Preview) For all Who Work With Rude Customers, isn't it a shame WE can't actually do this! An award should go to the Virgin Airlines desk attendant in Sydney some months ago for being smart and funny, while making her point, when confronted with a passenger who probably deserved to fly as cargo. A crowded Virgi...	Ma	3	1369	06:53 PM Nov 20, 2010 by jimricho
	HOW WAS I BORN? (Preview) A little boy goes to his father and asks 'Daddy, how was I born ?' The father answers, 'Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo. Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe. We...	justcruisin01	0	855	09:22 PM Nov 19, 2010 by justcruisin01
	Husband Day Care Centre (Preview) Sign outside Pub... (hope that works ok now) -- Edited by jimricho on Tuesday 16th of November 2010 08:53:28 PM	jimricho	5	1911	12:02 PM Nov 19, 2010 by JRH
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