Just Joking

sucastja · sucastja

Two cattle drovers were standing in an Outback bar. One asked, "What are ya up to, mate?" "Ahh, I'm takin' a mob of 6000 from Goondiwindi to Gympie." "Oh yeah .... and what route are you takin'?" "Ah, prob'ly the Missus ..... after all, she stuck by me durin' the d...

sucastja · sucastja

These are actual comments made by 16 Police Officers. The comments were taken off actual police car videos around the country: 1. "You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went through." 2. "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretc...

jules47 · jules47

The body builder takes off his shirt and the blonde says, "What a great chest you have!' He tells her, 'That's 100 lbs. of dynamite, Baby.' He takes off his pants and the blonde says,' "What massive calves you have!' The body builder tells her, 'That's 100 lbs. of dynamite, Baby.' He then rem...

Beth54 · Beth54

For those who don't know what a bucket seat is....

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

Irish Mirror After living in the remote countryside of Ireland all his life, an old Irishman decided it was time to visit Dublin . In one of the stores he picks up a mirror and looks in it. Not ever having seen one before, he remarked at the image staring back at him. 'How 'bout that!' he exclaims, 'Here'...

robell · robell

What hope has the future got with these IDIOTS living in and running Australia? ---------- Subject: They walk among us....UNFORTUNATELY IDIOT SIGHTING. My daughter and I went through the McDonald's driveway window and I gave the cashier a $5 note.. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her 25c. Sh...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

While conducting some business at the Court House, I overheard a lady, who had been arrested for assaulting a Mammogram Technician, say, "Your Honor, I'm guilty but.....there were extenuating circumstances." The female Judge said, sarcastically, "I'd certainly like t...

jules47 · jules47

The other day, a gentleman went to a Dentist's office to have a tooth pulled. The Dentist takes out a freezing needle to give him a shot. "No way"! No needles! "I hate needles", the man said. The Dentist starts to hook up the laughing gas and the man immediately objected. "I c...

jules47 · jules47

Lulu was a prostitute, but she didn't want her grandma to know. One day, the police raided the brothel and took all the girls outside and made them line up. Suddenly, Lulu's grandma came by. Grandma asked, "Why are you standing in line here, dear?" Not willing to let her grandma know the trut...

jules47 · jules47

The longer you have been married, the funnier and more poignant this will be to you - Sitting at the breakfast table one morning, my husband said to me - "Darling, when I am gone, I want you to sell all my stuff." "Why would you want me to do that?" I asked. "Well, I wouldn't want...

jules47 · jules47

Pooh-bear has an eating disorder, Piglet has anxiety, Eeyore has depression, Rabbit has OCD, Tigger has ADHD and our parents wonder why we're so messed up...

robell · robell

HOW TO CALL THE POLICE WHEN YOU'RE OLD AND DON'T MOVE FAST ANYMORE. George, an elderly man, from Lithgow, NSW, was going up to bed, when his wife told him that she could see the light on in the garden shed. George opened the back door to go turn off the light, but saw that there were two men stealing stuff...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

Paddy was a youthful and hard working Irishman at a Coastal village in Ireland . Daily he would pole a heavy old punt out to sea then work a heavy iron grapple to bring up the sand oysters which he sold to the local ice works. He was a man of regular habits he always arrived home each day at a certain time...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

The couple were 85 years old and had been married for sixty years. Though they were far from rich, they managed to get by because they watched their pennies. Though not young, they were both in very good health, largely due to the wife's insistence on healthy foods and exercise for the last dec...

jules47 · jules47

*A man met a beautiful blonde lady and decided he wanted to marry her right away.** *She said, 'But we don't know anything about each other..'* *He said, 'That's all right, we'll learn about each other as we go along.'* *So she consented, they were married, and off they went on a honeymoon at a very nice r...

dazren · dazren

An interstate truck driver had been on the road full time for nearly 5 months without a break. so here pulls into a small country town, goes to the local brothel, Puts $1000.oo on the counter and says to the Madam,, I want the Fattest, Ugliest, Bitch of a Hore you have got in this place, and i also want 2 Lamb...

dazren · dazren

I was walking along the beach and found buried in the sand a large green bottle ??? Well as you do i picked it up, and screwed of the lid and WHOOOSH ?? out popped a Genie !!! The genie said thankyou, i have been trapped in there for 1000 years, and for letting me free I hereby grant you one wish. Well i know this...

DandS · DandS

An aeroplane was about to crash; there were 5 passengers on board, but only 4 parachutes. The first passenger said, "I am President Obama, the chosen one. The world needs me, I can't afford to die." So he took the first parachute and left the aircra...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

An elderly married couple was at home watching TV. The husband had the remote and was switching back and forth between a fishing channel and the porn channel. The wife became more and more annoyed and finally said: "For god's sake! Leave it on the porn channel. You already know how to fish!&quo...

Dunco · Dunco

Here is Londons New Olympic Logo

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	An Aussie Yarn (Preview) Two cattle drovers were standing in an Outback bar. One asked, "What are ya up to, mate?" "Ahh, I'm takin' a mob of 6000 from Goondiwindi to Gympie." "Oh yeah .... and what route are you takin'?" "Ah, prob'ly the Missus ..... after all, she stuck by me durin' the d...	sucastja	1	948	05:08 PM Aug 24, 2011 by jules47
	Police Comments (Preview) These are actual comments made by 16 Police Officers. The comments were taken off actual police car videos around the country: 1. "You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went through." 2. "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretc...	sucastja	0	869	08:37 AM Aug 24, 2011 by sucastja
	Dynamite (Preview) *The body builder takes off his shirt and the blonde says, "What a great chest you have!'* *He tells her, 'That's 100 lbs. of dynamite, Baby.' He takes off his pants and the blonde says,' "What massive calves you have!'* *The body builder tells her, 'That's 100 lbs. of dynamite, Baby.' He then rem...*	jules47	3	894	08:25 AM Aug 24, 2011 by jimbo
	What is a bucket seat? (Preview) For those who don't know what a bucket seat is....	Beth54	2	1026	10:16 PM Aug 23, 2011 by old briney
	IRISH MIRROR; (Preview) Irish Mirror After living in the remote countryside of Ireland all his life, an old Irishman decided it was time to visit Dublin . In one of the stores he picks up a mirror and looks in it. Not ever having seen one before, he remarked at the image staring back at him. 'How 'bout that!' he exclaims, 'Here'...	justcruisin01	0	983	06:11 PM Aug 22, 2011 by justcruisin01
	They walk among us (Preview) What hope has the future got with these IDIOTS living in and running Australia? ---------- Subject: They walk among us....UNFORTUNATELY IDIOT SIGHTING. My daughter and I went through the McDonald's driveway window and I gave the cashier a $5 note.. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her 25c. Sh...	robell	4	1244	06:18 PM Aug 21, 2011 by jules47
	One for the girls! (Preview) While conducting some business at the Court House, I overheard a lady, who had been arrested for assaulting a Mammogram Technician, say, "Your Honor, I'm guilty but.....there were extenuating circumstances." The female Judge said, sarcastically, "I'd certainly like t...	justcruisin01	11	1084	08:08 PM Aug 19, 2011 by Happywanderer
	The dentist (Preview) The other day, a gentleman went to a Dentist's office to have a tooth pulled. The Dentist takes out a freezing needle to give him a shot. "No way"! No needles! "I hate needles", the man said. The Dentist starts to hook up the laughing gas and the man immediately objected. "I c...	jules47	0	1045	06:16 PM Aug 19, 2011 by jules47
	Grandma's oranges (Preview) Lulu was a prostitute, but she didn't want her grandma to know. One day, the police raided the brothel and took all the girls outside and made them line up. Suddenly, Lulu's grandma came by. Grandma asked, "Why are you standing in line here, dear?" Not willing to let her grandma know the trut...	jules47	1	869	04:34 PM Aug 19, 2011 by Travel Bug
	When I am gone............... (Preview) The longer you have been married, the funnier and more poignant this will be to you - Sitting at the breakfast table one morning, my husband said to me - "Darling, when I am gone, I want you to sell all my stuff." "Why would you want me to do that?" I asked. "Well, I wouldn't want...	jules47	1	913	04:19 PM Aug 19, 2011 by Travel Bug
	Messed up - (Preview) Pooh-bear has an eating disorder, Piglet has anxiety, Eeyore has depression, Rabbit has OCD, Tigger has ADHD and our parents wonder why we're so messed up...	jules47	0	790	03:43 PM Aug 19, 2011 by jules47
	And the winner is (Preview) HOW TO CALL THE POLICE WHEN YOU'RE OLD AND DON'T MOVE FAST ANYMORE. George, an elderly man, from Lithgow, NSW, was going up to bed, when his wife told him that she could see the light on in the garden shed. George opened the back door to go turn off the light, but saw that there were two men stealing stuff...	robell	3	933	10:55 PM Aug 17, 2011 by Travel Bug
	OYSTERS; (Preview) Paddy was a youthful and hard working Irishman at a Coastal village in Ireland . Daily he would pole a heavy old punt out to sea then work a heavy iron grapple to bring up the sand oysters which he sold to the local ice works. He was a man of regular habits he always arrived home each day at a certain time...	justcruisin01	0	896	07:33 PM Aug 17, 2011 by justcruisin01
	ROMANCE & FOOD; (Preview) The couple were 85 years old and had been married for sixty years. Though they were far from rich, they managed to get by because they watched their pennies. Though not young, they were both in very good health, largely due to the wife's insistence on healthy foods and exercise for the last dec...	justcruisin01	0	867	07:59 PM Aug 16, 2011 by justcruisin01
	Blonde Swimmer (Preview) A man met a beautiful blonde lady and decided he wanted to marry her right away.* She said, 'But we don't know anything about each other..' He said, 'That's all right, we'll learn about each other as we go along.' *So she consented, they were married, and off they went on a honeymoon at a very nice r...	jules47	3	1207	07:23 PM Aug 16, 2011 by jimbo
	lonely (Preview) An interstate truck driver had been on the road full time for nearly 5 months without a break. so here pulls into a small country town, goes to the local brothel, Puts $1000.oo on the counter and says to the Madam,, I want the Fattest, Ugliest, Bitch of a Hore you have got in this place, and i also want 2 Lamb...	dazren	1	1010	04:12 PM Aug 16, 2011 by jules47
	UNDENIABLE FACT ??? (Preview) I was walking along the beach and found buried in the sand a large green bottle ??? Well as you do i picked it up, and screwed of the lid and WHOOOSH ?? out popped a Genie !!! The genie said thankyou, i have been trapped in there for 1000 years, and for letting me free I hereby grant you one wish. Well i know this...	dazren	1	916	04:11 PM Aug 16, 2011 by jules47
	Five passengers, Four Parachutes. (Preview) An aeroplane was about to crash; there were 5 passengers on board, but only 4 parachutes. The first passenger said, "I am President Obama, the chosen one. The world needs me, I can't afford to die." So he took the first parachute and left the aircra...	DandS	0	796	02:58 PM Aug 16, 2011 by DandS
	SURFING THE TV; (Preview) An elderly married couple was at home watching TV. The husband had the remote and was switching back and forth between a fishing channel and the porn channel. The wife became more and more annoyed and finally said: "For god's sake! Leave it on the porn channel. You already know how to fish!&quo...	justcruisin01	0	733	07:53 PM Aug 15, 2011 by justcruisin01
	Londons NEW Olympic Logo released (Preview) Here is Londons New Olympic Logo	Dunco	0	828	01:50 PM Aug 15, 2011 by Dunco
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