Just Joking

Cruising Granny · Cruising Granny

I don't know whether these are genuine responses, but who cares? They are sooooo true. For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers have enhanced our lives, read on:- At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with t...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

UK credit crisis worsens SOMEONE has to pay for the wedding

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

A man walks into the council office, & says to the Customer Service Officer: "I would like to put my name forward for the forthcoming elections to be a councillor." "I need some practice for becoming a member of parliament" The receptionist replied "certainly sir P...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

On their way to get married, a young Catholic couple was involved in a fatal car accident. The couple found themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven. While waiting they began to wonder; could they possibly get married in Heaven? When St. Peter arr...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

The Talking Centipede A single guy decided life would be more fun if he had a pet. So he went to the pet store and told the owner that he wanted to buy an unusual pet. After some discussion, he finally bought a talking centipede, (100-legged bug), which came in a little white box to use for his house. He t...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

A little boy wanted $100.00 very badly and prayed for weeks, but nothing happened . Then he decided to write God a letter requesting the $100.00. When The postal authorities received the letter addressed to God, Australia they decided to send it to Julia Gillard. Gillard was so amused tha...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

Patrick walks into a bar in Dublin, Orders three pints of Guinness & sits in the corner of the room, Drinking a sip out of each pint in turn. When he had finished all three, He went back to the bar & ordered three more. The barman says, "You know a pint goes flat soon after I pull it .....

pipes · pipes

The following is quite true. 1973, and it is the start of a twenty year career as a "professional" tour driver. Alice Springs airport, and I am picking up my first tour. It is a Japanese group, and having grown up in the bush, I had no idea about their minor language problem with the letters,...

jimbo · jimbo

woman goes to the Doctor, with bruises on her face. The Doctor asks: "What happened?"The woman says: "Doctor, I don't know what to do. Every time my husband comes home drunk, he slaps me around." The Doctor says: "I have a real good cure for that. When your husband comes h...

Blonderer · Blonderer

Life is like a hot bath, the longer u stay in the more wrinkly u get !

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

An Irish woman of advanced age visited her physician to ask his advice in reviving her husband's libido. 'What about trying Viagra?' asked the doctor. 'Not a chance', she said. 'He won't even take an aspirin.' 'Not a problem,' replied the doctor. 'Give him an 'Irish Viagra'. It's when you drop the Via...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

oil crisis A lot of folks can't understand how we came to have an oil shortage here in Australia. ~~~ Well, there's a very simple answer. ~~~ Nobody bothered to check the oil. ~~~ We just didn't know we were getting low. ~~~ The reason for that is purely geographical. ~~~ Our OIL is located i...

Blonderer · Blonderer

If Adam and Eve were the first people, would they have had belly buttons?

jimricho · jimricho

There was a knock on the door this morning, I opened it and there was a young bloke standing there who said: "I'm a Jehovah's Witness". I said "Come in and sit down, what do you want to talk about"? He said, " #####d if I know, I've never got this far before".

petengail · petengail

There I was sitting there, before dinner watching T.V. I heard management call out..."Darling would you like fish, chicken or beef for dinner?" Being quick off the mark I replied "the fish will do nicely love". She shouted back... not you lard ar...e. I am talking t...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

Two bowling teams, one of all Blondes and one of all Brunettes, charter a double-Decker bus for a weekendtrip to Louisiana.The Brunette team rode on the bottom of the bus, andthe Blonde team rode on the top level. The Brunette team down below really whooped it up,having a great time, when one of them r...

jules47 · jules47

Did you know that Eagles mate for life? Well one day Harry the Eagle waited at the nest for Mary, his darling of 10 glorious years. After a while when she didn't return he went looking and found her. She had been shot dead! Harry was devastated, but after about six minutes of mourning he decided that he mus...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

Patrick walks into a bar in Dublin, Orders three pints of Guinness & sits in the corner of the room, Drinking a sip out of each pint in turn. When he had finished all three, He went back to the bar & ordered three more. The barman says, "You know a pint goes flat soon after I pull it .....

robell · robell

-- From: maryann.pullicino@bigpond.com To: Carmuket@hotmail.com; carolmason50@yahoo.com.au; nabbott@iprimus.com.au; davidmizzi778@hotmail.com; zanthony@optusnet.com.au; mariam@sanctuarylakes.net.au; lorraine.hewett@gmail.com; shirley_565@bigpond.com; sandra1969...

Blonderer · Blonderer

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit, Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.....

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Computers vs Ford (Preview) I don't know whether these are genuine responses, but who cares? They are sooooo true. For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers have enhanced our lives, read on:- At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with t...	Cruising Granny	1	1641	11:05 AM Feb 24, 2011 by Andrea
	CREDIT CRISSIS; (Preview) UK credit crisis worsens SOMEONE has to pay for the wedding	justcruisin01	0	711	07:23 PM Feb 23, 2011 by justcruisin01
	AIN'T IT THE TRUTH (Preview) A man walks into the council office, & says to the Customer Service Officer: "I would like to put my name forward for the forthcoming elections to be a councillor." "I need some practice for becoming a member of parliament" The receptionist replied "certainly sir P...	justcruisin01	0	864	07:17 PM Feb 23, 2011 by justcruisin01
	MARRIAGE IN HEAVEN; (Preview) On their way to get married, a young Catholic couple was involved in a fatal car accident. The couple found themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven. While waiting they began to wonder; could they possibly get married in Heaven? When St. Peter arr...	justcruisin01	1	937	07:54 PM Feb 18, 2011 by Pam
	TALKING CENTIPEDE! (Preview) The Talking Centipede A single guy decided life would be more fun if he had a pet. So he went to the pet store and told the owner that he wanted to buy an unusual pet. After some discussion, he finally bought a talking centipede, (100-legged bug), which came in a little white box to use for his house. He t...	justcruisin01	1	1221	12:40 PM Feb 18, 2011 by lilly31
	TAXES; (Preview) A little boy wanted $100.00 very badly and prayed for weeks, but nothing happened . Then he decided to write God a letter requesting the $100.00. When The postal authorities received the letter addressed to God, Australia they decided to send it to Julia Gillard. Gillard was so amused tha...	justcruisin01	0	812	11:51 AM Feb 18, 2011 by justcruisin01
	I'VE QUIT! (Preview) Patrick walks into a bar in Dublin, Orders three pints of Guinness & sits in the corner of the room, Drinking a sip out of each pint in turn. When he had finished all three, He went back to the bar & ordered three more. The barman says, "You know a pint goes flat soon after I pull it .....	justcruisin01	0	928	11:48 AM Feb 18, 2011 by justcruisin01
	The Coach Captain. (Preview) The following is quite true. 1973, and it is the start of a twenty year career as a "professional" tour driver. Alice Springs airport, and I am picking up my first tour. It is a Japanese group, and having grown up in the bush, I had no idea about their minor language problem with the letters,...	pipes	4	1585	06:32 PM Feb 17, 2011 by Allara
	When will they listen (Preview) woman goes to the Doctor, with bruises on her face. The Doctor asks: "What happened?"The woman says: "Doctor, I don't know what to do. Every time my husband comes home drunk, he slaps me around." The Doctor says: "I have a real good cure for that. When your husband comes h...	jimbo	1	1008	06:38 AM Feb 17, 2011 by Allara
	Life.... (Preview) Life is like a hot bath, the longer u stay in the more wrinkly u get !	Blonderer	0	831	03:55 PM Feb 16, 2011 by Blonderer
	IRISH COFFEE! (Preview) An Irish woman of advanced age visited her physician to ask his advice in reviving her husband's libido. 'What about trying Viagra?' asked the doctor. 'Not a chance', she said. 'He won't even take an aspirin.' 'Not a problem,' replied the doctor. 'Give him an 'Irish Viagra'. It's when you drop the Via...	justcruisin01	0	761	08:20 PM Feb 15, 2011 by justcruisin01
	OIL CRISIS (Preview) oil crisis A lot of folks can't understand how we came to have an oil shortage here in Australia. ~~~ Well, there's a very simple answer. ~~~ Nobody bothered to check the oil. ~~~ We just didn't know we were getting low. ~~~ The reason for that is purely geographical. ~~~ Our OIL is located i...	justcruisin01	0	783	08:18 PM Feb 15, 2011 by justcruisin01
	Adam & Eve.... (Preview) If Adam and Eve were the first people, would they have had belly buttons?	Blonderer	2	903	05:12 PM Feb 15, 2011 by GrumpyOne
	Jehovah's Witness (Preview) There was a knock on the door this morning, I opened it and there was a young bloke standing there who said: "I'm a Jehovah's Witness". I said "Come in and sit down, what do you want to talk about"? He said, " #####d if I know, I've never got this far before".	jimricho	2	1361	12:13 PM Feb 13, 2011 by Beth54
	I was sitting there watching tv... (Preview) There I was sitting there, before dinner watching T.V. I heard management call out..."Darling would you like fish, chicken or beef for dinner?" Being quick off the mark I replied "the fish will do nicely love". She shouted back... not you lard ar...e. I am talking t...	petengail	1	1056	12:10 PM Feb 13, 2011 by Beth54
	BUS DRIVER; (Preview) Two bowling teams, one of all Blondes and one of all Brunettes, charter a double-Decker bus for a weekendtrip to Louisiana.The Brunette team rode on the bottom of the bus, andthe Blonde team rode on the top level. The Brunette team down below really whooped it up,having a great time, when one of them r...	justcruisin01	2	1045	08:22 PM Feb 11, 2011 by justcruisin01
	Eagles (Preview) Did you know that Eagles mate for life? Well one day Harry the Eagle waited at the nest for Mary, his darling of 10 glorious years. After a while when she didn't return he went looking and found her. She had been shot dead! Harry was devastated, but after about six minutes of mourning he decided that he mus...	jules47	1	779	03:05 PM Feb 6, 2011 by petengail
	PADDY; (Preview) Patrick walks into a bar in Dublin, Orders three pints of Guinness & sits in the corner of the room, Drinking a sip out of each pint in turn. When he had finished all three, He went back to the bar & ordered three more. The barman says, "You know a pint goes flat soon after I pull it .....	justcruisin01	0	868	08:57 PM Feb 4, 2011 by justcruisin01
	think first (Preview) -- From: maryann.pullicino@bigpond.com To: Carmuket@hotmail.com; carolmason50@yahoo.com.au; nabbott@iprimus.com.au; davidmizzi778@hotmail.com; zanthony@optusnet.com.au; mariam@sanctuarylakes.net.au; lorraine.hewett@gmail.com; shirley_565@bigpond.com; sandra1969...	robell	1	1422	10:26 AM Feb 4, 2011 by robell
	Knowledge.... (Preview) *Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit, Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.....*	Blonderer	0	827	11:28 PM Feb 3, 2011 by Blonderer
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