Just Joking

jules47 · jules47

Fw: FW: Quickies ...FW: Quickies ...Thursday, 21 October 2010 9:23:12 PMFrom:"Stephen Maxfield" <scipcom@tpg.com.au>To:"Stephen Maxfield" <scipcom@tpg.com.au> Paddy goes to the vet with his goldfish. "I think it's got epilepsy" he tells t...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

Rye Bread Two old guys, one 80 and one 87, were sitting on their usual spot in the park one morning. The 87 year old had just finished his morning jog and wasn't even short of breath. The 80 year old was amazed at his friend's stamina and asked him what he did to have so much energy. The 87 year old said, "...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

Bob walked into a sports bar around 9:58 PM. > He sat down next to a blonde at the bar > And stared up at the TV. > > The 10 PM news was coming on. > The news crew was covering the story > Of a man on the ledge of a large building > Preparing to jump. > > > > The blonde looked at Bo...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

A fifteen year old Amish boy and his father were in a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again. The boy asked, 'What is this Father?' The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, 'So...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

ONLY THE IRISH, BLESS 'EM! . Paddy was waiting at the bus stop with his mate when a lorry went by loaded up with rolls of turf. Paddy said, 'I gonna do that when I win lottery' 'What's dat, says his mate. 'Send me lawn away to be cut'.

Ma · Ma

Mammograms Many women are afraid of their first mammogram, but there is no need to worry. By taking a few minutes each day for a week preceding the exam and doing the following exercises, you will be totally prepared for the test and best of all, you can do these simple exercises right in and around your h...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

A congressman was seated next to a little girl on an airplane so he turned to her and said, "Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger." The little girl, who had just started to read her book, replied to the total stranger, "What wo...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

Mick and Paddy had promised their Uncle Seamus, who had been a seafaring gent, all his life, to bury him at sea when he died. Well, in due time, Seamus did pass away and the boys kept their promise. They set off with Uncle Seamus all stitched up in a sea burial bag and loaded onto their rowboat. After a wee bi...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

Don't try this at home as it may prove fatal !!!!! Gotta give it to this bloke!!! On their 50th anniversary, a wife found the negligee she wore on her wedding night and put it on. She went to her husband, a retired military man, and asked, 'Honey, do you remember this?' He looked up from his newspaper and sa...

Ma · Ma

Dave sent his wife a message that he'd be home a day earlier than planned. Arriving at the house, he discovered his wife in bed having sex with another man. Bitterly, Dave kicked them out of the house, and started to plan a course of action. His thoughts were interrupted by a call from his soon to be ex-mot...

Ma · Ma

THE ROOM WAS FULL OF PREGNANT WOMEN WITH THEIR PARTNERS AND THEINSTRUCTOR WAS IN FULL SWING. THE INSTRUCTOR WAS TEACHING THE WOMEN HOW TO BREATHE PROPERLY AND TELLING THE MEN HOW TO GIVE THE NECESSARY ASSURANCE TO THEIR PARTNERS AT THIS STAGE OF THE PREGNANCY. SHE SAID "LADIES, REMEMBER THAT E...

Cruising Granny · Cruising Granny

Remember when ............ WE WAS BRUNG UP PROPER ! "And we never had a whole Mars bar until 1993"!!! CONGRATULATIONS TO ALL MY FRIENDS WHO WERE BORN IN THE 1930's 1940's, 50's, 60's and early 70's ! First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they carried us a...

Cruising Granny · Cruising Granny

And They Ask---Why do I Like Retirement???? Question: How many days in a week? Answer: 6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday Question: When is a retiree's bedtime? Answer: Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch . Question: How many retirees to change a light bulb? Answer: Only one, but it might ta...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

Costume Party A couple was invited to a swanky costume party. The Mrs. got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone. He being a devoted husband protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed and there was no need for his good time being spoile...

Zoomtopz · Zoomtopz

A young man called Chris from London wanted to buy a Christmas present for his new girlfriend.They hadn'nt been seeing each other for very long and she lived in Scotland. Chris consulted with his sister and decided, after careful consideration,that a pair of good quality gloves would strike t...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert, wandering aimlessly and close to death. They are close to just lying down andwaiting for the inevitable, when all of a sudden....... 'Hey Pepe, do yousmell what I smell.Ees bacon I is sure of eet.' 'Si, Luis eet smellslike bacon to meee.' So, with reneweds...

Ma · Ma

In India recently, I saw a sign that said, English speaking taxi driver. I thought, what a great idea, why dont we have them in our country? Maybe this is posted in the wrong spot because sometimes it isn't a joke is it, or then.................

Dunmowin · Dunmowin

One of the most frustrating thing about getting older is that every time you see an expensive antique, you remember one just like it you once thre away!

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

The wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman. And she was somewhat upset. 'You are a disrespectful pig!' she cried. 'How dare you do this to me -- a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm leaving you. I want a divorce right away!' An...

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

Football BootsWoman takes a lover home during the day while her husband is at work. Her 9 year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them, and hides in the bedroom cupboard to watch. Just after getting into bed the woman's husband also comes home unexpectedly, she tells her lover to hide in the cupboa...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	luck of the Irish (Preview) Fw: FW: Quickies ...FW: Quickies ...Thursday, 21 October 2010 9:23:12 PMFrom:"Stephen Maxfield" <scipcom@tpg.com.au>To:"Stephen Maxfield" <scipcom@tpg.com.au> Paddy goes to the vet with his goldfish. "I think it's got epilepsy" he tells t...	jules47	0	703	06:59 AM Oct 22, 2010 by jules47
	RYE BREAD (Preview) Rye Bread Two old guys, one 80 and one 87, were sitting on their usual spot in the park one morning. The 87 year old had just finished his morning jog and wasn't even short of breath. The 80 year old was amazed at his friend's stamina and asked him what he did to have so much energy. The 87 year old said, "...	justcruisin01	0	755	06:15 PM Oct 21, 2010 by justcruisin01
	SLOW LEARNER; (Preview) Bob walked into a sports bar around 9:58 PM. > He sat down next to a blonde at the bar > And stared up at the TV. > > The 10 PM news was coming on. > The news crew was covering the story > Of a man on the ledge of a large building > Preparing to jump. > > > > The blonde looked at Bo...	justcruisin01	0	963	06:12 PM Oct 21, 2010 by justcruisin01
	DREAMER; (Preview) A fifteen year old Amish boy and his father were in a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again. The boy asked, 'What is this Father?' The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, 'So...	justcruisin01	0	764	06:10 PM Oct 21, 2010 by justcruisin01
	money talks; (Preview) ONLY THE IRISH, BLESS 'EM! . Paddy was waiting at the bus stop with his mate when a lorry went by loaded up with rolls of turf. Paddy said, 'I gonna do that when I win lottery' 'What's dat, says his mate. 'Send me lawn away to be cut'.	justcruisin01	1	971	09:18 PM Oct 20, 2010 by Pam
	MAMMOGRAMS (Preview) Mammograms Many women are afraid of their first mammogram, but there is no need to worry. By taking a few minutes each day for a week preceding the exam and doing the following exercises, you will be totally prepared for the test and best of all, you can do these simple exercises right in and around your h...	Ma	6	1095	04:19 PM Oct 20, 2010 by Lets Go
	LITTLE GIRL ON A PLANE (Preview) A congressman was seated next to a little girl on an airplane so he turned to her and said, "Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger." The little girl, who had just started to read her book, replied to the total stranger, "What wo...	justcruisin01	1	951	04:12 PM Oct 20, 2010 by Lets Go
	Irish burial at Sea; (Preview) Mick and Paddy had promised their Uncle Seamus, who had been a seafaring gent, all his life, to bury him at sea when he died. Well, in due time, Seamus did pass away and the boys kept their promise. They set off with Uncle Seamus all stitched up in a sea burial bag and loaded onto their rowboat. After a wee bi...	justcruisin01	0	1072	10:42 PM Oct 19, 2010 by justcruisin01
	FATAL; (Preview) Don't try this at home as it may prove fatal !!!!! Gotta give it to this bloke!!! On their 50th anniversary, a wife found the negligee she wore on her wedding night and put it on. She went to her husband, a retired military man, and asked, 'Honey, do you remember this?' He looked up from his newspaper and sa...	justcruisin01	0	877	10:38 PM Oct 19, 2010 by justcruisin01
	FEMAIL LOGIC??? (Preview) Dave sent his wife a message that he'd be home a day earlier than planned. Arriving at the house, he discovered his wife in bed having sex with another man. Bitterly, Dave kicked them out of the house, and started to plan a course of action. His thoughts were interrupted by a call from his soon to be ex-mot...	Ma	1	1005	04:28 PM Oct 19, 2010 by justcruisin01
	MEN!!!! (Preview) THE ROOM WAS FULL OF PREGNANT WOMEN WITH THEIR PARTNERS AND THEINSTRUCTOR WAS IN FULL SWING. THE INSTRUCTOR WAS TEACHING THE WOMEN HOW TO BREATHE PROPERLY AND TELLING THE MEN HOW TO GIVE THE NECESSARY ASSURANCE TO THEIR PARTNERS AT THIS STAGE OF THE PREGNANCY. SHE SAID "LADIES, REMEMBER THAT E...	Ma	0	698	09:51 AM Oct 18, 2010 by Ma
	Remember When (Preview) Remember when ............ WE WAS BRUNG UP PROPER ! "And we never had a whole Mars bar until 1993"!!! CONGRATULATIONS TO ALL MY FRIENDS WHO WERE BORN IN THE 1930's 1940's, 50's, 60's and early 70's ! First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they carried us a...	Cruising Granny	0	1049	09:27 PM Oct 17, 2010 by Cruising Granny
	Retirement (Preview) And They Ask---Why do I Like Retirement???? Question: How many days in a week? Answer: 6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday Question: When is a retiree's bedtime? Answer: Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch . Question: How many retirees to change a light bulb? Answer: Only one, but it might ta...	Cruising Granny	2	1515	09:24 PM Oct 17, 2010 by Cruising Granny
	COSTUME PARTY; (Preview) Costume Party A couple was invited to a swanky costume party. The Mrs. got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone. He being a devoted husband protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed and there was no need for his good time being spoile...	justcruisin01	1	1154	07:45 PM Oct 14, 2010 by Quietmike
	A bit of a mix-up (Preview) A young man called Chris from London wanted to buy a Christmas present for his new girlfriend.They hadn'nt been seeing each other for very long and she lived in Scotland. Chris consulted with his sister and decided, after careful consideration,that a pair of good quality gloves would strike t...	Zoomtopz	2	1443	09:48 PM Oct 8, 2010 by justcruisin01
	got ya; (Preview) Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert, wandering aimlessly and close to death. They are close to just lying down andwaiting for the inevitable, when all of a sudden....... 'Hey Pepe, do yousmell what I smell.Ees bacon I is sure of eet.' 'Si, Luis eet smellslike bacon to meee.' So, with reneweds...	justcruisin01	0	1044	09:07 PM Oct 7, 2010 by justcruisin01
	WHAT A GREAT IDEA (Preview) In India recently, I saw a sign that said, English speaking taxi driver. I thought, what a great idea, why dont we have them in our country? Maybe this is posted in the wrong spot because sometimes it isn't a joke is it, or then.................	Ma	0	770	02:48 PM Oct 7, 2010 by Ma
	On getting old... (Preview) One of the most frustrating thing about getting older is that every time you see an expensive antique, you remember one just like it you once thre away!	Dunmowin	2	1475	10:40 AM Oct 5, 2010 by Pam
	GREAT EXPLANATION!!!!!!!!! (Preview) The wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman. And she was somewhat upset. 'You are a disrespectful pig!' she cried. 'How dare you do this to me -- a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm leaving you. I want a divorce right away!' An...	justcruisin01	0	740	09:13 PM Oct 4, 2010 by justcruisin01
	PRICE OF SILIENCE; (Preview) Football BootsWoman takes a lover home during the day while her husband is at work. Her 9 year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them, and hides in the bedroom cupboard to watch. Just after getting into bed the woman's husband also comes home unexpectedly, she tells her lover to hide in the cupboa...	justcruisin01	0	948	09:16 PM Sep 28, 2010 by justcruisin01
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