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Need A Bad Day to Get Into Heaven
(Preview)
It got crowded in heaven so, for one day and one day only, it was decided to only accept people who had really bad day on the day they died. St. Peter was standing at the pearly gates and said to the first man, "Tell me about the day you died." The man said, "Oh, it was awful. I was sure my wif...
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reza
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0
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557
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CRAP!
(Preview)
A guy goes to the doctor and says, "Hello, I would like to be castrated." "That's a lifechanging operation," says the doctor. "Are you sure you want to do it?" "yes," says the man. "and if you refuse I'll go to another doctor." "OK,"...
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reza
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0
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617
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WISH WELL
(Preview)
Three men - a Canadian farmer, Osama bin Laden and an Aussie are all walking together one day.. They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it. 'I will give each of you one wish, which is three wishes in total', Says the Genie. The Canadian says, 'I am a farmer and my son will also farm. I wan...
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justcruisin01
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1
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705
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LIFESAVERS;
(Preview)
The children began to identify the flavours by their colour: Red......................Cherry Yellow..................Lemon Green..................Lime Orange ...............Orange Finally the teacher gave them all HONEY lifesavers. None of the children could identify the...
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justcruisin01
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1
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824
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Nomad Adventure
(Preview)
A couple of Grey nomals were motoring along the Birdsville track. He was driving and she was catching flies in her open mouth while catching up on 40 winks. The old man glanced down to the instrument panel and noticed the oil light starting to flicker. A few minutes later the oil light stayed on so he star...
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DKay
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0
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593
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Confucius
(Preview)
Confucius say, " Treat your woman like your vacuum cleaner,if she stops sucking, replace the bag."
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Firefly
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3
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910
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DRUNK AGAIN ;
(Preview)
The Best Drunk Story Ever A drunken man walks into a biker bar, sits down at the bar and orders a drink. Looking around, he sees three men sitting at a corner table. He gets up staggers to the table, leans over, Looks the biggest, meanest, biker in the face and says: 'I went by your grandma's house t...
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justcruisin01
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3
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788
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NAKED COWBOY;
(Preview)
Naked Cowboy A Sheriff in a small town in Texas walks out in the street and sees a blond haired cowboy coming toward him with nothing on but his cowboy hat, his gun and his boots. He arrests him for indecent exposure. As he is locking him up, he asks 'Why in the world are you walking around like this?' T...
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justcruisin01
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1
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1189
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IDIOTS;
(Preview)
Idiots have no geographical limits, this lot are Australia's finest!! They walk and live amongst us. But worst of all they are allowed to breed............................... Number One Idiot of 2008. I am a medical student in Sydney, currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison contro...
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justcruisin01
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0
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860
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0 to 200 in 6 seconds
(Preview)
Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she lo...
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reza
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1
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728
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From A Mother With Love
(Preview)
Dear Child, I am writing this slow because I know that you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the paper that most accidents happen within 20 miles from your home so we moved. I won't be able to send you the address, as the last family that lived here took the house n...
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reza
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1
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694
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LOVE THE IRISH;
(Preview)
You have to Love the IrishPaddy was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn't find a parking place. Looking up to heaven he said, 'Lord take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I will go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of me life and give up me Irish Whis...
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justcruisin01
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0
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835
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THE MISSING ROOSTER.
(Preview)
The priest in a small Irish village loved the **** and hens he kept in the hen house behind the church. But one Saturday night the **** went missing! The priest knew that **** fights happened in the village so he started to question his parishioners in church the next morning. During Mass, he asked the c...
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DKay
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6
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1123
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AHHH THE IRISH ;
(Preview)
Irish Medical DictionaryARTERY - - - - - - - - - The Study of PaintingsBACTERIA - - - - - - - Back Door of a CafeteriaBARIUM - - - - What Doctors Do When Patients DieBOWEL - - - - - A Letter Like A. E. I. or U.CAESARIAN SECTION - - - A Neighbourhood in RomeCAT SCAN - - - - - - - - - Searching for KittyCAUT...
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justcruisin01
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1
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863
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TIGER SHARK ;
(Preview)
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justcruisin01
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0
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826
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CATHOLIC PARROTS
(Preview)
A lady goes to her priest one day and tells him, 'Father, I have a problem. I have two female parrots, But they only know how to say one thing.' 'What do they say?' the priest inquired. They say, 'Hi, we're hookers! Do you want to have some fun?' That's obscene!' the priest exclaimed, Then he tho...
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justcruisin01
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0
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796
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CORKED;
(Preview)
Two Arab terrorists are in a locker room taking a shower after their bomb making class in Melbourne , when one notices the other has a huge cork stuck in his arse. If you do not mind me saying,' stated the second, 'that cork looks very uncomfortable. Why don't you take it out?' I regret I cannot', lamented...
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justcruisin01
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0
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791
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Insurance Claims
(Preview)
1/ Leaving my driveway this morning I drove straight into a bus as it was 5 minutes early. 2/ I was driving along the road when I saw two kangaroos copulating in the middle of the road, causing me to ejaculate through the sun roof. 3/ I started to slow down, but the traffic was more stationery than I first th...
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goinsoon
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0
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643
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Tiger Woods
(Preview)
In Ireland, Tiger Woods drives his BMW into a petrolstation in a remote part of the Irish countryside. The pump attendant, obviously knows nothing about golf, greets him ina typical Irish manner completely unaware of who the golfing pro is. Top of the mornin' to yer, sir" says the attendant.Ti...
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Disco Duck
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0
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741
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Patty and the Blonde
(Preview)
Patty walks into a bar . about half along the bar sits a beautiful blonde with large breastt resting on the bar Patty orders a schooner of black Barman pours the schooner and slides it along the bar towards Patty The beer hits the blondes breast and in a flash the barman wipes the bar and licks the beer fr...
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Wombat 280
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0
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918
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