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Insults
(Preview)
A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease" "That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."
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jimbo
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0
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690
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gubby animation
(Preview)
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_wombat_
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0
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800
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Retirement fund
(Preview)
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jules47
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1
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1182
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Careful Son
(Preview)
An older gentleman was on the operating table awaiting surgery and he insisted that his son, a renowned surgeon, perform the operation. As he was about to get the anaesthesia, he asked to speak to his son. "Yes, Dad, what is it?" "Don't be nervous, son; do your best, and just remember,...
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jimbo
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2
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1059
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Sperm bank
(Preview)
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jules47
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1
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1290
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Thoughtfull husband
(Preview)
Was on my facebook page. xxxxxxxxxxxx A man buys his son an iPAD, his daughter an iPOD, himself an iPHONE & his wife an iRON. For some reason, she wasn't impressed, even after he explained that it could be integrated with the iWASH, iCOOK & iCLEAN network. This triggered the iNAG service, wh...
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robell
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2
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964
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Senior citizen
(Preview)
A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor's office. "Is it true," she wanted to know, "that the medication you prescribed has to be taken for the rest of my life?" "'Yes, I'm afraid so,"' the doctor told her. There was a moment of silence before the senior lady re...
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jimbo
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1
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946
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The age of stars
(Preview)
Tonight I went to the night session at the Cosmic Centre here in Charleville. One of the guides was saying that a particular group of stars had been together for 12 million years; and one woman said "how do they know how long they have been together?" and her husband said "because the...
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Esmeralda
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1
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961
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Women Just Don't seem to understand what matters
(Preview)
Her Diary: Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it. Conversation wasn't flowing, so I suggested that we go som...
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sucastja
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7
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1245
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Harrod's
(Preview)
Dont fart in Harrods. A lady walks into Harrods. She looks around, spots a beautiful diamond bracelet and walks over to inspect it. As she bends over to look more closely, she unexpectedly farts. Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone noticed her little woops and pra...
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robell
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1
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977
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An Aussie Yarn
(Preview)
Two cattle drovers were standing in an Outback bar. One asked, "What are ya up to, mate?" "Ahh, I'm takin' a mob of 6000 from Goondiwindi to Gympie." "Oh yeah .... and what route are you takin'?" "Ah, prob'ly the Missus ..... after all, she stuck by me durin' the d...
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sucastja
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1
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969
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Police Comments
(Preview)
These are actual comments made by 16 Police Officers. The comments were taken off actual police car videos around the country: 1. "You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went through." 2. "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretc...
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sucastja
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0
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889
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Dynamite
(Preview)
The body builder takes off his shirt and the blonde says, "What a great chest you have!' He tells her, 'That's 100 lbs. of dynamite, Baby.' He takes off his pants and the blonde says,' "What massive calves you have!' The body builder tells her, 'That's 100 lbs. of dynamite, Baby.' He then rem...
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jules47
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3
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912
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What is a bucket seat?
(Preview)
For those who don't know what a bucket seat is....
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Beth54
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2
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1045
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IRISH MIRROR;
(Preview)
Irish Mirror After living in the remote countryside of Ireland all his life, an old Irishman decided it was time to visit Dublin . In one of the stores he picks up a mirror and looks in it. Not ever having seen one before, he remarked at the image staring back at him. 'How 'bout that!' he exclaims, 'Here'...
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justcruisin01
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0
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1037
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They walk among us
(Preview)
What hope has the future got with these IDIOTS living in and running Australia? ---------- Subject: They walk among us....UNFORTUNATELY IDIOT SIGHTING. My daughter and I went through the McDonald's driveway window and I gave the cashier a $5 note.. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her 25c. Sh...
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robell
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4
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1263
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One for the girls!
(Preview)
While conducting some business at the Court House, I overheard a lady, who had been arrested for assaulting a Mammogram Technician, say, "Your Honor, I'm guilty but.....there were extenuating circumstances." The female Judge said, sarcastically, "I'd certainly like t...
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justcruisin01
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11
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1105
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The dentist
(Preview)
The other day, a gentleman went to a Dentist's office to have a tooth pulled. The Dentist takes out a freezing needle to give him a shot. "No way"! No needles! "I hate needles", the man said. The Dentist starts to hook up the laughing gas and the man immediately objected. "I c...
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jules47
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0
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1060
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Grandma's oranges
(Preview)
Lulu was a prostitute, but she didn't want her grandma to know. One day, the police raided the brothel and took all the girls outside and made them line up. Suddenly, Lulu's grandma came by. Grandma asked, "Why are you standing in line here, dear?" Not willing to let her grandma know the trut...
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jules47
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1
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916
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When I am gone...............
(Preview)
The longer you have been married, the funnier and more poignant this will be to you - Sitting at the breakfast table one morning, my husband said to me - "Darling, when I am gone, I want you to sell all my stuff." "Why would you want me to do that?" I asked. "Well, I wouldn't want...
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jules47
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1
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958
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