|
ADVICE FROM A RETIRED HUSBAND
(Preview)
ADVICE FROM A RETIRED HUSBAND It is important for men to remember that, as women grow older, it becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as when they were younger. When you notice this, try not to yell at them. Some are oversensitive, and there's nothing worse than an over...
|
oldrtvute
|
1
|
1203
|
|
|
|
|
Senior Signs
(Preview)
ALRIGHT, who's the wise ass that sent this to me? WHOEVER SENT IT, send it to SOMEONE that COULD benefit from it, OKAY!
|
Cruising Granny
|
16
|
1299
|
|
|
|
|
A Twisted Tale
(Preview)
A little old lady was wandering through a town and was quite lost. She wanted to ask for directions so went to a house that was painted red. She knocked on the red door and it was answered by a man dressed in red slippers, a red dressing gown and red cap. She asked for directions to the nearest bus station. T...
|
Peterpan
|
1
|
1087
|
|
|
|
|
Letter to Bank Manager
(Preview)
this may have been seen before Subject: 86-year old lady's letter to bank shown below, is an actual letter that was sent to a bank by an 86 year old woman. The bank manager thought it amusing enough to have it published in the New York Times. Dear Sir: I am writing to thank you for bouncing my check with whi...
|
_wombat_
|
0
|
1036
|
|
|
|
|
Will this bloke ever learn
(Preview)
The police recently busted a man selling tablets he said gave him eternal youth. When going through their files they noticed it was the fourth time he was caught for doing this. He had earlier been arrested in 1794, 1856 and 1928..........
|
jimbo
|
1
|
927
|
|
|
|
|
Gift for Mother in Law
(Preview)
One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift... The next year, I didn't buy her a gift. When she asked me why, I replied, "Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"
|
sucastja
|
0
|
779
|
|
|
|
|
Hot & Cold
(Preview)
After an examination, the doctor said to his patient: "You appear to be in good health. Do you have any medical concerns you would like to ask me about?" "In fact, I do." said the old man. "After my wife and I have sex, I'm usually cold and chilly; and then, after I have sex with...
|
jimbo
|
1
|
986
|
|
|
|
|
PROOF That The World Is Nuts!
(Preview)
In Lebanon, men are legally allowed to have sex with animals, but the animals must be female. Having sexual relations with a male animal is punishable by death. (Like THAT makes sense!) *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* In Bahrain, a male doctor may legally examine a woman's genitals, but is prohibited from loo...
|
Cruising Granny
|
0
|
1050
|
|
|
|
|
The Bridge
(Preview)
A man on his Harley was riding along on a California beach when suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, God said to him, 'Because you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish.' The biker pulled over and said, 'Lord, please build a bridge to Hawaii so I can r...
|
jimbo
|
2
|
950
|
|
|
|
|
The 3rd Affair
(Preview)
A mortician was working late one night. He examined the body of Mr. Schwartz, about to be cremated, and made a startling discovery. Schwartz had the largest private part he had ever seen! 'I'm sorry Mr. Schwartz,' the mortician commented, 'I can't allow you to be cremated with such an impre...
|
oldrtvute
|
0
|
765
|
|
|
|
|
The 2nd Affair
(Preview)
A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters but always talked about having a son. They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted. The wife got pregnant and delivered a healthy baby boy. The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son. He was horrified at the ugl...
|
oldrtvute
|
0
|
772
|
|
|
|
|
affair No1
(Preview)
A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day they went to her place and made love all afternoon. Exhausted, they fell asleep and woke up at 8 PM. The man hurriedly dressed and told his lover to take his shoes outside and rub them in the grass and dirt. He put on his sho...
|
oldrtvute
|
0
|
779
|
|
|
|
|
Golf Balls & Buttercups
(Preview)
Towards the end of a round of golf, Dave hit his ball into the woods and found it in a patch of pretty yellow buttercups. Trying to get his ball back in play, he ended up thrashing just about every buttercup in the patch. All of a sudden, POOF! In a flash and puff of smoke, a little old woman appeared. She said...
|
Cruising Granny
|
2
|
1079
|
|
|
|
|
PERFECT BRIAN
(Preview)
A man walked out to the street and caught a taxi just going by. He got into the taxi, and the cabbie said, "Perfect timing. You're just like Brian" Passenger: "Who?" Cabbie: "Brian Sullivan. He's a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you need...
|
Cruising Granny
|
3
|
1085
|
|
|
|
|
Quickies - some old, some new....
(Preview)
A mate of mine recently admitted to being addicted to brake fluid. When I quizzed...
|
Peterpan
|
1
|
981
|
|
|
|
|
Respectful
(Preview)
Two friends are fishing near a bridge. Suddenly a Hearse and two Funeral Cars go over the bridge so one of the men stands up, takes off his cap and bows his head. When the cars have gone he puts his cap back on, sits back down and carries on fishing. His mate turns to him and says, "Dave, that's on...
|
robell
|
1
|
998
|
|
|
|
|
Amazing Anagrams
(Preview)
This has got to be one of the cleverest E-mails I've received in a while. Someone out there must be "deadly" at Scrabble. (Wait till you see the last one!) PRESBYTERIAN: When you rearrange the letters: BEST IN PRAYER ASTRONOMER: When you rearrange the letters: MOON STARER DE...
|
robell
|
2
|
962
|
|
|
|
|
Donald Duck and Daisy Duck
(Preview)
Donald Duck and Daisy Duck were spending the night together in a hotel room and Donald wanted to have sex with Daisy. The first thing Daisy asked was, "Do you have a condom?" Donald frowned and said, "No." Daisy told Donald that if he didn't get a condom, they could not have sex. &q...
|
jimricho
|
2
|
998
|
|
|
|
|
OH! Father
(Preview)
Two priests are in a Vatican bathroom using the urinals. One of them looks at the other one's penis and notices there's a Nicotine patch on it.. He looks at the other priest and says, 'I believe you're supposed to put that patch on your arm or shoulder, not your penis..' The other one replies, 'It's work...
|
jimbo
|
0
|
847
|
|
|
|
|
Making A Baby
(Preview)
The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, 'Well, I'm off now. The man should be here soon.' Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photogr...
|
Cruising Granny
|
2
|
1052
|
|
|
