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A Couple of quickies
(Preview)
I was in the pub with my wife last night and I said, I love you. She said, Is that you or the beer talking? I replied, Its me talking to the beer. My wife has been missing a week now. Police said to prepare for the worst. So I have been to the charity shop to get all her clothes back.
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Peterpan
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1
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1001
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Bunnings Scam
(Preview)
Bunnings Scam A 'heads up' for those men who may be regular Bunnings customers. This one caught me by surprise. Over the last month I became a victim of a clever scam while out shopping. Simply going out to get trade supplies has turned out to be quite traumatic. Don't be naive enough to think it couldn't...
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gubby
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2
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1988
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Wombat's Family Photo
(Preview)
What a lovely looking bunch....
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gubby
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4
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983
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MUSHROOM JOKE
(Preview)
What do ya call a mushroom with a 9" penis.... A Fungi to be with.......... sorry...... Hoo Roo Happy Days Grumpster
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GrumpyOne
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1
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1388
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Wife Swapping
(Preview)
Went to a wife swapping party the other night and it was great... I got a 1/2" socket set and a battery drill for the old girl......
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gubby
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2
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3000
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A little known fact
(Preview)
A little known fact The first testicular guard was used in cricket in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. It took 100 years for men to realize that their brain could also be important.
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robell
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4
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980
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how to give a cata pill
(Preview)
How To Give A Cat A Pill 1. Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop...
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oldrtvute
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0
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995
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gynecologist
(Preview)
A gynecologist decided that he would like a change in careers and so he got a job as a apprentice motor mechanic at the local garage . All went well as he enjoyed the job and as a result got good reports from all the costumers about the quality of his work . At the end of his apprenticeship there w...
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oldrtvute
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0
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1078
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Blond Joke
(Preview)
A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, 'Please come over here and help > me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get > started.' > > Her boyfriend asks, 'What is it supposed to be when it's finished?' > > The blonde says, 'According to the picture on the box, it's...
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Peterpan
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6
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1072
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Latin Medical names
(Preview)
Yeah , I wast wondering about all these medical terms that get chucked at us . Like in PPs thread 'kleptomania' & there's nymphomania And then the operations - tonsilectomy , appendectomy . I wonder if a Nymphomaniac's experience is called a 'slipadictome' Richo
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Zoomtopz
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2
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1158
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Life Really Is This Simple!
(Preview)
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Firefly
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10
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968
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Big is Smarter
(Preview)
With time, women gain weight because we accumulate so much information and wisdom in our heads that when there is no more room, it distributes out to the rest of our bodies. So we aren't heavy, we are enormously cultured, educated and happy.  Beginning today, when I look at my backside in the mirr...
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Cruising Granny
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10
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952
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Senior citizens
(Preview)
Senior citizens are constantly being criticized for Every conceivable deficiency of the modern world, Real or imaginary. We know we take responsibility for all we have done and do not blame others. HOWEVER, upon reflection, we would like to point out that it was NOT the senior citizens who took: The...
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robell
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1
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1240
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Camera
(Preview)
A man was driving when he saw the flash of a traffic camera.He figured that his picture had been tkane for exceeding the limit, even though heknew that he was not speeding. Just to be sure, he went around the blockand passed the same spot, driving even more slowly, but again the cameraflashed. Now he be...
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jimbo
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0
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947
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man in hospital
(Preview)
Man in hospital wearing a oxygen mask over his mouth ..Nurse he mumbles : are my testicles black ?? Nurses raises his gown holds his doddle in one hand and his testicles in the other .she take a close look and says ....Theres nothing wrong with them Sir .... Man pulls of oxygen mask ,smiles at her and says v...
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lilly31
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4
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1159
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An Oldie
(Preview)
I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it.
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Peterpan
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0
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746
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Only the Irish
(Preview)
1. The Irish have solved their own fuel problems. They imported 50 million tonnes of sand from the Arabs and they're going to drill for their own oil.2. Paddy says to Mick, "Christmas is on a Friday this year".... Mick says "Let's hope it's not the 13th."3. Pa...
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sucastja
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1
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792
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Astrology by Tonto
(Preview)
Astrology by Tonto The Lone Ranger and Tonto went camping in the desert. After they got their Tent all set up, both men fell sound asleep. Some hours later, Tonto wakes the Lone Ranger and says, 'Kemo Sabe, look Towards sky, what you see? ' 'The Lone Ranger replies, 'I see millions of stars.' 'Wha...
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milo
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2
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890
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HEALTH MESSAGE
(Preview)
1. If walking/cycling is good for your health, the postman would be immortal. 2. A whale swims all day, only eats fish, drinks water and is fat. 3. A rabbit runs and hops and only lives 15 years. 4. A tortoise doesn't run, does nothing ..... yet lives for 450 years. AND YOU TELL ME TO EXERCISE! I'm retired,...
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Cruising Granny
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3
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1012
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Only In Queensland
(Preview)
It is well known that humour is regional, but this is the first joke that I can say is truly a Queenslander: At a national conference of the Australian Hotels Association, the general managers of Cascade Brewery (Tasmania), Tooheys (New South Wales), XXXX (Queensland), CUB (Victoria) and Cooper...
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Firefly
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1
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774
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