Just Joking

Beth54 · Beth54

Men are from Mars, women are from Venus - crap! Men would have been from Venus too but they got lost and were too pig-headed to read the map!

Cruising Granny · Cruising Granny

Four old retired guys are walking down a street in Port Macquarie, Australia . They turned a corner and see a sign that says, 'Old Timers Bar - all drinks 10 cents.? They look at each other, and then go in, thinking this is too good to be true. The old bartender says in a voice that carries across the room, 'C...

jules47 · jules47

Kitty and Jack My husband took up bowling and he bragged upon the phone about some dame called Kitty whom he couldn't leave aloneHe played with Kitty he stayed with Kitty he picked her up without a hitchHe missed Kitty he kissed Kitty he even layed beside her in the ditchSo I took up bowling to win my hubby...

jules47 · jules47

From:Add to ContactsTo:Undisclosed-Recipient@yahoo.com While on a road trip, an elderly couple stoppedat a roadside restaurant for lunch. After finishing their meal, they left therestaurant, and resumed their trip. When leaving, the elderly woman unknowinglyleft her glasses on the...

Dougie · Dougie

ARE YOU A BITCH?Some friends were sitting at the bar talking about their professions. The first guy says 'I'm a Y.U.P.P.I.E., you know... Young, Urban, Professional, Peaceful, Intelligent, Ecologist' The second guy says 'I'm a D.I.N.K.., you know... Double Income, No Kids.' The third guy sa...

robell · robell

Two young guys appear in court after being arrested for smoking dope. The judge says, "You seem like nice young men, and I'd like to give you a second chance instead of jail time. I want you to go out this weekend and try to convince others of the evils of drug use. I'll see you back in court Monday.&qu...

Zoomtopz · Zoomtopz

Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, wine in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming WOO HOO what a ride! Richo

jules47 · jules47

Two egss boiling away in a pot, one says "Hey check out my crack!" The other egg answers - "Fair go, I'm not even hard yet!"

eagles · eagles

A dapper young bloke walks into a bar and tries his luck with an attractive girl alone at a table. After trying all his lines and totally dispondent that she is not at all interested,he retires to the bar and comments to the barman that he has never been knocked back like that. A minute or so later an old dru...

robell · robell

Do you need a laugh??? What Religion is Your Bra? A man walked into the ladies department?? and shyly walked up to? the woman behind the counter and said,? 'I'd like to buy a bra for my wife.?'? 'What type of bra?'?asked the clerk.? 'Type?' inquires the man, 'There's more than one type?' ' Look around,'...

pipes · pipes

My lady partner is always finding, and bringing home, lost or injured birds. The other day I slope into the house and there perched on the back of me favourite chair is a bloody big sea eagle. That was bad enough, but sitting on the couch were three ducks. One was reading the paper, and two were arguing o...

gubby · gubby

THE ITALIAN PASTA DIET 1. You walka pasta da Bakery. 2. You walka pasta da candy store. 3. You walka pasta da ice cream shop. 4. You walka pasta da table and da fridge. YOU WILL LOSE WEIGHT!!!! Guaranteed..... -- Edited by gubby on Friday 22nd of April 2011 11:36:50 AM

jack biggles · jack biggles

Two lrishmen are hammering floorboards down in a house - Paddy picks up a nail, realises it's upside down & throws it away. He carries on doing this until Murphy says "Why are you throwing them away?" "Because they're upside down!" says Paddy. "You daft prat,&quo...

robell · robell

I was in the six item express lane at the store quietly fuming. Completely ignoring the sign, the woman ahead of me had slipped into the check-out line pushing a cart piled high with groceries. Imagine my delight when the cashier beckoned the woman to come forward looked into the cart and asked sweetl...

Firefly · Firefly

Paddy is passing by Mick's hay shed one day when through a gap in the door he sees Mick doing a slow and sensual striptease in front of an old red Massey Fergusontractor. Buttocks clenched he performs a slow pirouette and gently slides off first the right welly, followed by the left. He then hunches hi...

clazandaza · clazandaza

Two boys in Brisbane playing football in the park when one of the boys is attacked by a savage Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy rips a board off the nearby fence, wedges it down the dog's collar, and twists, breaking the dog's neck. A Courier Mail reporter hears about the incident and...

robell · robell

One for the ladies One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweat-shirt Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?" "It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?" He...

robell · robell

Airline Lunches I put my carry-on in the luggage Compartment and sat down in my Assigned seat. It was going to be a long flight from Perth.'I'm glad I have a good book to read Perhaps I will get a short sleep,' I thought. Just before take-off, a line of diggers Came down the aisle and filled a...

robell · robell

Defense Attorney: Will you please state your age? Little Old Lady: I am 94 years old. Defense Attorney: Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened the night of April 1st? Little Old Lady: There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creep...

robell · robell

BOB HOPE IN HEAVEN For those of you too young to remember Bob Hope, ask your Grandparents. And thanks for the memories. WHAT A WONDERFUL E-MAIL. I HOPE THIS WILL PUT A SMILE ON YOUR FACE AND IN YOUR HEART. Tribute to a man who DID make a difference. ON TURNING 70 'You still chase women...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Men & Women (Preview) Men are from Mars, women are from Venus - crap! Men would have been from Venus too but they got lost and were too pig-headed to read the map!	Beth54	0	642	06:00 PM May 4, 2011 by Beth54
	Happy Hour - Half Price (Preview) Four old retired guys are walking down a street in Port Macquarie, Australia . They turned a corner and see a sign that says, 'Old Timers Bar - all drinks 10 cents.? They look at each other, and then go in, thinking this is too good to be true. The old bartender says in a voice that carries across the room, 'C...	Cruising Granny	2	1165	07:30 PM May 3, 2011 by Loffty
	Kitty (Preview) Kitty and Jack My husband took up bowling and he bragged upon the phone about some dame called Kitty whom he couldn't leave aloneHe played with Kitty he stayed with Kitty he picked her up without a hitchHe missed Kitty he kissed Kitty he even layed beside her in the ditchSo I took up bowling to win my hubby...	jules47	0	903	05:17 PM May 3, 2011 by jules47
	glasses (Preview) From:Add to ContactsTo:Undisclosed-Recipient@yahoo.com While on a road trip, an elderly couple stoppedat a roadside restaurant for lunch. After finishing their meal, they left therestaurant, and resumed their trip. When leaving, the elderly woman unknowinglyleft her glasses on the...	jules47	2	1095	02:08 PM Apr 28, 2011 by jules47
	This one is for the girls! (Preview) ARE YOU A BITCH?Some friends were sitting at the bar talking about their professions. The first guy says 'I'm a Y.U.P.P.I.E., you know... Young, Urban, Professional, Peaceful, Intelligent, Ecologist' The second guy says 'I'm a D.I.N.K.., you know... Double Income, No Kids.' The third guy sa...	Dougie	0	860	09:43 AM Apr 28, 2011 by Dougie
	hard lesson (Preview) Two young guys appear in court after being arrested for smoking dope. The judge says, "You seem like nice young men, and I'd like to give you a second chance instead of jail time. I want you to go out this weekend and try to convince others of the evils of drug use. I'll see you back in court Monday.&qu...	robell	0	799	05:09 PM Apr 26, 2011 by robell
	My interpretation (Preview) Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, wine in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming WOO HOO what a ride! Richo	Zoomtopz	2	895	05:33 PM Apr 25, 2011 by robell
	Eggs (Preview) Two egss boiling away in a pot, one says "Hey check out my crack!" The other egg answers - "Fair go, I'm not even hard yet!"	jules47	0	1030	04:04 PM Apr 25, 2011 by jules47
	eyebrows (Preview) A dapper young bloke walks into a bar and tries his luck with an attractive girl alone at a table. After trying all his lines and totally dispondent that she is not at all interested,he retires to the bar and comments to the barman that he has never been knocked back like that. A minute or so later an old dru...	eagles	0	768	02:05 PM Apr 25, 2011 by eagles
	bras (Preview) Do you need a laugh??? What Religion is Your Bra? A man walked into the ladies department?? and shyly walked up to? the woman behind the counter and said,? 'I'd like to buy a bra for my wife.?'? 'What type of bra?'?asked the clerk.? 'Type?' inquires the man, 'There's more than one type?' ' Look around,'...	robell	1	1353	05:18 PM Apr 23, 2011 by Pam
	enough is enough (Preview) My lady partner is always finding, and bringing home, lost or injured birds. The other day I slope into the house and there perched on the back of me favourite chair is a bloody big sea eagle. That was bad enough, but sitting on the couch were three ducks. One was reading the paper, and two were arguing o...	pipes	0	976	04:17 PM Apr 23, 2011 by pipes
	THE ITALIAN PASTA DIET (Preview) THE ITALIAN PASTA DIET 1. You walka pasta da Bakery. 2. You walka pasta da candy store. 3. You walka pasta da ice cream shop. 4. You walka pasta da table and da fridge. YOU WILL LOSE WEIGHT!!!! Guaranteed..... -- Edited by gubby on Friday 22nd of April 2011 11:36:50 AM	gubby	0	756	11:33 AM Apr 22, 2011 by gubby
	upside down nails (Preview) Two lrishmen are hammering floorboards down in a house - Paddy picks up a nail, realises it's upside down & throws it away. He carries on doing this until Murphy says "Why are you throwing them away?" "Because they're upside down!" says Paddy. "You daft prat,&quo...	jack biggles	0	931	10:33 AM Apr 22, 2011 by jack biggles
	Laugh (Preview) I was in the six item express lane at the store quietly fuming. Completely ignoring the sign, the woman ahead of me had slipped into the check-out line pushing a cart piled high with groceries. Imagine my delight when the cashier beckoned the woman to come forward looked into the cart and asked sweetl...	robell	0	1038	10:09 PM Apr 21, 2011 by robell
	Paddy (Preview) Paddy is passing by Mick's hay shed one day when through a gap in the door he sees Mick doing a slow and sensual striptease in front of an old red Massey Fergusontractor. Buttocks clenched he performs a slow pirouette and gently slides off first the right welly, followed by the left. He then hunches hi...	Firefly	1	990	09:11 PM Apr 21, 2011 by robell
	Queenslander (Preview) Two boys in Brisbane playing football in the park when one of the boys is attacked by a savage Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy rips a board off the nearby fence, wedges it down the dog's collar, and twists, breaking the dog's neck. A Courier Mail reporter hears about the incident and...	clazandaza	0	1020	07:02 PM Apr 20, 2011 by clazandaza
	one for the ladies (Preview) One for the ladies One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweat-shirt Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?" "It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?" He...	robell	0	913	12:40 PM Apr 19, 2011 by robell
	They deserve it (Preview) Airline Lunches I put my carry-on in the luggage Compartment and sat down in my Assigned seat. It was going to be a long flight from Perth.'I'm glad I have a good book to read Perhaps I will get a short sleep,' I thought. Just before take-off, a line of diggers Came down the aisle and filled a...	robell	2	1500	01:55 PM Apr 18, 2011 by Pam
	Don't upset granny (Preview) Defense Attorney: Will you please state your age? Little Old Lady: I am 94 years old. Defense Attorney: Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened the night of April 1st? Little Old Lady: There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creep...	robell	0	1037	06:34 PM Apr 17, 2011 by robell
	memories (Preview) BOB HOPE IN HEAVEN For those of you too young to remember Bob Hope, ask your Grandparents. And thanks for the memories. WHAT A WONDERFUL E-MAIL. I HOPE THIS WILL PUT A SMILE ON YOUR FACE AND IN YOUR HEART. Tribute to a man who DID make a difference. ON TURNING 70 'You still chase women...	robell	1	921	05:51 PM Apr 17, 2011 by robell
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