Just Joking

Peterpan · Peterpan

A little old lady was wandering through a town and was quite lost. She wanted to ask for directions so went to a house that was painted red. She knocked on the red door and it was answered by a man dressed in red slippers, a red dressing gown and red cap. She asked for directions to the nearest bus station. T...

_wombat_ · _wombat_

this may have been seen before Subject: 86-year old lady's letter to bank shown below, is an actual letter that was sent to a bank by an 86 year old woman. The bank manager thought it amusing enough to have it published in the New York Times. Dear Sir: I am writing to thank you for bouncing my check with whi...

jimbo · jimbo

The police recently busted a man selling tablets he said gave him eternal youth. When going through their files they noticed it was the fourth time he was caught for doing this. He had earlier been arrested in 1794, 1856 and 1928..........

sucastja · sucastja

One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift... The next year, I didn't buy her a gift. When she asked me why, I replied, "Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"

jimbo · jimbo

After an examination, the doctor said to his patient: "You appear to be in good health. Do you have any medical concerns you would like to ask me about?" "In fact, I do." said the old man. "After my wife and I have sex, I'm usually cold and chilly; and then, after I have sex with...

Cruising Granny · Cruising Granny

In Lebanon, men are legally allowed to have sex with animals, but the animals must be female. Having sexual relations with a male animal is punishable by death. (Like THAT makes sense!) *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* In Bahrain, a male doctor may legally examine a woman's genitals, but is prohibited from loo...

jimbo · jimbo

A man on his Harley was riding along on a California beach when suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, God said to him, 'Because you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish.' The biker pulled over and said, 'Lord, please build a bridge to Hawaii so I can r...

oldrtvute · oldrtvute

A mortician was working late one night. He examined the body of Mr. Schwartz, about to be cremated, and made a startling discovery. Schwartz had the largest private part he had ever seen! 'I'm sorry Mr. Schwartz,' the mortician commented, 'I can't allow you to be cremated with such an impre...

oldrtvute · oldrtvute

A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters but always talked about having a son. They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted. The wife got pregnant and delivered a healthy baby boy. The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son. He was horrified at the ugl...

oldrtvute · oldrtvute

A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day they went to her place and made love all afternoon. Exhausted, they fell asleep and woke up at 8 PM. The man hurriedly dressed and told his lover to take his shoes outside and rub them in the grass and dirt. He put on his sho...

Cruising Granny · Cruising Granny

Towards the end of a round of golf, Dave hit his ball into the woods and found it in a patch of pretty yellow buttercups. Trying to get his ball back in play, he ended up thrashing just about every buttercup in the patch. All of a sudden, POOF! In a flash and puff of smoke, a little old woman appeared. She said...

Cruising Granny · Cruising Granny

A man walked out to the street and caught a taxi just going by. He got into the taxi, and the cabbie said, "Perfect timing. You're just like Brian" Passenger: "Who?" Cabbie: "Brian Sullivan. He's a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you need...

Peterpan · Peterpan

A mate of mine recently admitted to being addicted to brake fluid. When I quizzed...

robell · robell

Two friends are fishing near a bridge. Suddenly a Hearse and two Funeral Cars go over the bridge so one of the men stands up, takes off his cap and bows his head. When the cars have gone he puts his cap back on, sits back down and carries on fishing. His mate turns to him and says, "Dave, that's on...

robell · robell

This has got to be one of the cleverest E-mails I've received in a while. Someone out there must be "deadly" at Scrabble. (Wait till you see the last one!) PRESBYTERIAN: When you rearrange the letters: BEST IN PRAYER ASTRONOMER: When you rearrange the letters: MOON STARER DE...

jimricho · jimricho

Donald Duck and Daisy Duck were spending the night together in a hotel room and Donald wanted to have sex with Daisy. The first thing Daisy asked was, "Do you have a condom?" Donald frowned and said, "No." Daisy told Donald that if he didn't get a condom, they could not have sex. &q...

jimbo · jimbo

Two priests are in a Vatican bathroom using the urinals. One of them looks at the other one's penis and notices there's a Nicotine patch on it.. He looks at the other priest and says, 'I believe you're supposed to put that patch on your arm or shoulder, not your penis..' The other one replies, 'It's work...

Cruising Granny · Cruising Granny

The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, 'Well, I'm off now. The man should be here soon.' Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photogr...

Peterpan · Peterpan

I was in the pub with my wife last night and I said, I love you. She said, Is that you or the beer talking? I replied, Its me talking to the beer. My wife has been missing a week now. Police said to prepare for the worst. So I have been to the charity shop to get all her clothes back.

gubby · gubby

Bunnings Scam A 'heads up' for those men who may be regular Bunnings customers. This one caught me by surprise. Over the last month I became a victim of a clever scam while out shopping. Simply going out to get trade supplies has turned out to be quite traumatic. Don't be naive enough to think it couldn't...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	A Twisted Tale (Preview) A little old lady was wandering through a town and was quite lost. She wanted to ask for directions so went to a house that was painted red. She knocked on the red door and it was answered by a man dressed in red slippers, a red dressing gown and red cap. She asked for directions to the nearest bus station. T...	Peterpan	1	1131	01:29 PM Jul 6, 2011 by jimbo
	Letter to Bank Manager (Preview) this may have been seen before Subject: 86-year old lady's letter to bank shown below, is an actual letter that was sent to a bank by an 86 year old woman. The bank manager thought it amusing enough to have it published in the New York Times. Dear Sir: I am writing to thank you for bouncing my check with whi...	_wombat_	0	1063	07:59 AM Jul 5, 2011 by _wombat_
	Will this bloke ever learn (Preview) The police recently busted a man selling tablets he said gave him eternal youth. When going through their files they noticed it was the fourth time he was caught for doing this. He had earlier been arrested in 1794, 1856 and 1928..........	jimbo	1	957	07:21 PM Jul 4, 2011 by robell
	Gift for Mother in Law (Preview) One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift... The next year, I didn't buy her a gift. When she asked me why, I replied, "Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"	sucastja	0	810	07:08 PM Jul 4, 2011 by sucastja
	Hot & Cold (Preview) After an examination, the doctor said to his patient: "You appear to be in good health. Do you have any medical concerns you would like to ask me about?" "In fact, I do." said the old man. "After my wife and I have sex, I'm usually cold and chilly; and then, after I have sex with...	jimbo	1	1016	09:34 PM Jul 3, 2011 by Cruising Granny
	PROOF That The World Is Nuts! (Preview) In Lebanon, men are legally allowed to have sex with animals, but the animals must be female. Having sexual relations with a male animal is punishable by death. (Like THAT makes sense!) ~~~~~~~~~ In Bahrain, a male doctor may legally examine a woman's genitals, but is prohibited from loo...	Cruising Granny	0	1073	09:47 PM Jun 30, 2011 by Cruising Granny
	The Bridge (Preview) A man on his Harley was riding along on a California beach when suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, God said to him, 'Because you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish.' The biker pulled over and said, 'Lord, please build a bridge to Hawaii so I can r...	jimbo	2	994	09:15 PM Jun 30, 2011 by Cruising Granny
	The 3rd Affair (Preview) A mortician was working late one night. He examined the body of Mr. Schwartz, about to be cremated, and made a startling discovery. Schwartz had the largest private part he had ever seen! 'I'm sorry Mr. Schwartz,' the mortician commented, 'I can't allow you to be cremated with such an impre...	oldrtvute	0	797	05:50 PM Jun 30, 2011 by oldrtvute
	The 2nd Affair (Preview) A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters but always talked about having a son. They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted. The wife got pregnant and delivered a healthy baby boy. The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son. He was horrified at the ugl...	oldrtvute	0	804	05:48 PM Jun 30, 2011 by oldrtvute
	affair No1 (Preview) A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day they went to her place and made love all afternoon. Exhausted, they fell asleep and woke up at 8 PM. The man hurriedly dressed and told his lover to take his shoes outside and rub them in the grass and dirt. He put on his sho...	oldrtvute	0	815	05:43 PM Jun 30, 2011 by oldrtvute
	Golf Balls & Buttercups (Preview) Towards the end of a round of golf, Dave hit his ball into the woods and found it in a patch of pretty yellow buttercups. Trying to get his ball back in play, he ended up thrashing just about every buttercup in the patch. All of a sudden, POOF! In a flash and puff of smoke, a little old woman appeared. She said...	Cruising Granny	2	1110	05:06 PM Jun 30, 2011 by robell
	PERFECT BRIAN (Preview) A man walked out to the street and caught a taxi just going by. He got into the taxi, and the cabbie said, "Perfect timing. You're just like Brian" Passenger: "Who?" Cabbie: "Brian Sullivan. He's a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you need...	Cruising Granny	3	1115	04:58 PM Jun 30, 2011 by robell
	Quickies - some old, some new.... (Preview) A mate of mine recently admitted to being addicted to brake fluid. When I quizzed...	Peterpan	1	1009	01:38 PM Jun 30, 2011 by Pam
	Respectful (Preview) Two friends are fishing near a bridge. Suddenly a Hearse and two Funeral Cars go over the bridge so one of the men stands up, takes off his cap and bows his head. When the cars have gone he puts his cap back on, sits back down and carries on fishing. His mate turns to him and says, "Dave, that's on...	robell	1	1030	09:41 PM Jun 29, 2011 by Cruising Granny
	Amazing Anagrams (Preview) This has got to be one of the cleverest E-mails I've received in a while. Someone out there must be "deadly" at Scrabble. (Wait till you see the last one!) PRESBYTERIAN: When you rearrange the letters: BEST IN PRAYER ASTRONOMER: When you rearrange the letters: MOON STARER DE...	robell	2	990	07:40 PM Jun 29, 2011 by pricey43
	Donald Duck and Daisy Duck (Preview) Donald Duck and Daisy Duck were spending the night together in a hotel room and Donald wanted to have sex with Daisy. The first thing Daisy asked was, "Do you have a condom?" Donald frowned and said, "No." Daisy told Donald that if he didn't get a condom, they could not have sex. &q...	jimricho	2	1025	07:27 AM Jun 28, 2011 by jimricho
	OH! Father (Preview) Two priests are in a Vatican bathroom using the urinals. One of them looks at the other one's penis and notices there's a Nicotine patch on it.. He looks at the other priest and says, 'I believe you're supposed to put that patch on your arm or shoulder, not your penis..' The other one replies, 'It's work...	jimbo	0	884	03:29 PM Jun 27, 2011 by jimbo
	Making A Baby (Preview) The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, 'Well, I'm off now. The man should be here soon.' Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photogr...	Cruising Granny	2	1101	12:43 PM Jun 27, 2011 by jimbo
	A Couple of quickies (Preview) I was in the pub with my wife last night and I said, I love you. She said, Is that you or the beer talking? I replied, Its me talking to the beer. My wife has been missing a week now. Police said to prepare for the worst. So I have been to the charity shop to get all her clothes back.	Peterpan	1	1031	10:47 AM Jun 27, 2011 by Travel Bug
	Bunnings Scam (Preview) Bunnings Scam A 'heads up' for those men who may be regular Bunnings customers. This one caught me by surprise. Over the last month I became a victim of a clever scam while out shopping. Simply going out to get trade supplies has turned out to be quite traumatic. Don't be naive enough to think it couldn't...	gubby	2	2039	08:14 AM Jun 27, 2011 by _wombat_
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