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The Emu
(Preview)
An Aussie truckie walks into an outback cafe with a full-grown emu behind him. The waitress asks them for their orders. The truckie says, 'A hamburger, chips and a coke, 'and turns to the emu, 'What's yours?' 'I'll have the same,' says the emu. A short time later the waitress returns with the order 'Tha...
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Zoomtopz
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0
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905
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Examiner
(Preview)
My wife just reminded me of this - True , one of Zoomtopz'z real life stories . Barbara was expecting our son , she was 40 having her 1st child . I was 46 & 4th . Being a good little hubby I goes along to pre-natal classes with all the 20something . We were dutifully doing all the exercises as the midwife is...
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Zoomtopz
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1
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855
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Treachery in Canberra
(Preview)
There had been a heavy snowstorm in Canberra and Kevin Rudd was arriving at Parliament House to start work for the day. He noticed that someone had urinated in the snow and had written the words "Rudd Sucks" As KRudd figured that it was probably the work of one of Tony Abbott's henchmen he ca...
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jimricho
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8
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1259
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VOTING
(Preview)
If voting could realy change things.. It would be illegal..!!!
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BobnBev
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0
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733
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Another True story
(Preview)
Honest - I told my Mum & Dad I was going to get married , the wedding would be about 18 months , seeing I was in the Navy , we would have to be flexible on dates . Well , Mum says , getting married ah . Yeah mum . Ok , I will let you get married IF , you can tell me "What's , what is" . What a stupid questio...
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Zoomtopz
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0
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1259
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HE ASKED FOR IT
(Preview)
Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary! The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads, 'Here Lies My Wife -- Cold As Ever'!" "Yeah?" she replies. "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads,...
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goinsoon
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3
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1085
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BeWare of Wild Animals
(Preview)
We've all had trouble with our animals, but I don't think anyone can top this one: Calling in sick to work makes me uncomfortable. No matter how legitimate my excuse, I always get the feeling that my boss thinks I'm lying. On one recent occasion, I had a valid reason but lied anyway, because the truth was...
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Zoomtopz
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2
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1661
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Ooooooooppppsssssss!
(Preview)
rriiiiinnnnggg, rrriiiinnnngg,** **'Hello?'** **'Hi honey.** **This is Daddy.** **Is Mommy near the phone?'** **'No, Daddy.** **She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Gabe.'** **After a brief pause,** **Daddy says,** **'But honey, you haven't got an Uncle Gabe.'** **'Oh yes I do, a...
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justcruisin01
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3
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1122
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Mobile Phone for Seniors
(Preview)
Mobile Phone for Seniors.... (errrr, that's us )
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jimricho
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1
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985
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Struggling with the Booze
(Preview)
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jimricho
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2
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878
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This IS a Stiff one
(Preview)
The Tap on the shoulder: A bloke hails a cab , tells the cabbie where he wants to go . They are driving along & the bloke leans forward and taps the cabbie on the shoulder . The cabbie screams , mounts the footpath , nearly hits a bus & stops just before he is about to hit a semi . The bloke says sorry ma...
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Zoomtopz
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1
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1206
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Globalization;
(Preview)
A definition of globalization thatI can understand and to which I now can relate Question: What is the truest definition ofGlobalization? Answer: Princess Diana's death. Question: How come? Answer: An English princess with an Egyptian boyfriend Crashes in a French tunnel, riding in a German...
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justcruisin01
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0
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1011
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cowboy;
(Preview)
A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife. She was a very good-looking woman and determined to keep the ranch, but knew very little about ranching, so she decided to place an ad in the newspaper for a ranch hand. Two cowboys applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk. Sh...
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justcruisin01
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0
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770
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Postcard
(Preview)
Hi there! Missing me yet? How's that change you wanted Going?
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jimricho
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5
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1293
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RUDD
(Preview)
John Howard, Queen Elizabeth, and Vladimir Putin all die and go to hell. While there, they spy a red phone and ask what the phone is for. The devil tells them it is for calling back to Earth. Putin asks to call Russia and talks for 5 minutes. When he is finished the devil informs him that the cost is a millio...
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justcruisin01
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1
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1063
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TWO STOREY DUNNY;
(Preview)
The Two Storey Dunny !!! Yep!!! This pretty much says it all. Nuff said!!!
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justcruisin01
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4
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1434
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POLITICAL CORECTNESS
(Preview)
An explanation of political corectness "Political Correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical minority, and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end".
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goinsoon
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1
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1668
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Management Tree
(Preview)
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Allara
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1
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918
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Bears
(Preview)
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Allara
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0
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1069
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MANNERS
(Preview)
During one of her daily classes, a teacher trying to teach good manners, asked her students the following question: "Michael, if you were on a date, having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?" Michael said, "Just a minute, I have to g...
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goinsoon
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0
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868
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