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The Satnav A new poem by Pam Ayres..
(Preview)
I have a little Satnav, It sits there in my carA Satnav is a driver's friend it tells you where you are.I have a little Satnav, I've had it all my lifeIt's better than the normal ones, My Satnav is my wife.It gives me full instructions, Especially how to drive"It's sixty miles an hour", it says, "You're do...
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Funnies..
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A lady goes to her priest one day and tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have two female parrots, but they only know how to say one thing.""What do they say?" the priest inquired.They say, "Hi, we're hookers! Do you want to have some fun?""That's obscene!" the priest exclaimed, then he thought for a...
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Susan..
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Can't refuse..
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Man wakes up one morning to see his wife in a skimpy negligee, standing by the bed with some velvet rope in her hand.She purrs at him..."Tie me up and you can do anything that you like"He thought - now that's an offer I can't refuse!So he did, and went out and played golf.....
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Bible Salesman..
(Preview)
A priest wanted to sell bibles so he asked for volunteers to go door-to-door and sell them for $10 each. Peter, Paul and Louie decided to volunteer for the task. While Peter and Paul were both respected salesmen in the town, the priest had doubts about Louie because of his terrible stutter. Not wanting...
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Sid & Abe..
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Two old Jewish men, Sid and Abe, are sitting in a Mexican restaurant. Sidasks Abe, "Do you know if any people of our ancestry were ever born andraised in Mexico ?"Abe replies, "I don't know, let's ask our waiter."When the waiter arrives, Abe asks, "Are there any Mexican Jews?"The waiter says, "I don't...
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Ha ha..
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My Wife's..
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My Wife's..
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The cost of shopping alone!
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Don't go into the hardware store by yourself anymore to escape Wifey. Might end up being more expensive than shopping with Wifey! U
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Whenarewethere
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Removing & reinstalling engine cover.
(Preview)
Preamble: My experience with Land Rover, Ford badge engineering, the car is basically a Ford with a bit of Volvo (wouldn't touch white goods with two barge poles in series), others have have had similar experience. Engine cover removal / installation: Mine was out for too long, nevertheless was a b...
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Noahs ark..
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Kangaroo Flat
(Preview)
Lifted from a Facebook page - too good not to pass it on -
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New Beginnings..
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It's only the beginning now...a pathway yet unknownAt times the sound of other steps...sometimes we walk aloneThe best beginnings of our livesMay sometimes end in sorrowBut even on our darkest daysThe sun will shine tomorrow.So we must do our very bestWhatever life may bringAnd look beyond the wi...
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Temper..
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Just a line..
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How much..
(Preview)
How much would you take off?The owner of a golf course on the Gold Coast was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help.He called her into his office and said, You graduated from the University of Queensland and I need some help. If I was to give you $20...
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My child..
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Ironic gifts
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anolphart
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Crocpox
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