Just Joking

Firefly · Firefly

Yesterday I was at my local COLES buying a large bag of Purinadog chow for my loyal pet, Biscuit, the Wonder Dog and was in the checkout line when woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had, an elephant? So since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have...

robell · robell

THE IRISH PRIEST {padding-bottom:0px;padding-left:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-top:0px;}

Firefly · Firefly

Well, a Girl Potato and Boy Potato had eyes for each other,and finally they got married, and had a little sweet potato, which they called 'Yam'. Of course, they wanted the best for Yam. When it was time, they told her about the facts of life. They warned her about going out and getting half-bake...

Beth54 · Beth54

New New Zealand zoning. Sorry, I couldn't make it bigger. It was on an email. -- Edited by Beth54 on Monday 9th of May 2011 05:18:39 PM

sucastja · sucastja

New coffee special . . . Osama Bin Latte . . . has a fluffy white head with two shots in it . . .

gubby · gubby

How many forum posters does it take to change a light bulb? 1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed 14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently 7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs...

Zoomtopz · Zoomtopz

A North Queensland ruff-nut stockman attends a social function where Prime Minister Julia is speechifying. Clearly the stockman was not paying much attention, yackking with those closest and even quite far away. Julia endeavoured to attract his interest with slower single syllable words. Yo...

Zoomtopz · Zoomtopz

A Husband takes his wife to play her first game of golf. Of course, the wife promptly hacked her first shot right through the window of the biggest house adjacent to the course.The husband cringed, 'I warned you to be careful! Now we'll have to go up there, find the owner, apologize and see how much your l...

Firefly · Firefly

One day God calls down to Noah and says, "Noah me old china, I want you to make me a new Ark". Noah replies, "No probs God, me old Supreme Being, Anything you want. After all, you're the guv" . But God interrupts, "Ah, but there's a catch." This time Noah, I want not just a...

Zoomtopz · Zoomtopz

At the end of the tax year, the Aust Tax office sent an inspector to audit the books of a local hospital. While the ATO agent was checking the books, he turned to the CEO of the hospital and said. "I notice you buy a lot of bandages. What do you do with the end of the roll when ...

gubby · gubby

Driving to work this morning on the freeway, I looked over to my left and there was a woman in a brand new Commodore doing 100 km/h with her face up next to her rear view mirror putting on her eyeliner! I looked away for a couple seconds and when I looked back she was halfway over in my lane, still working on th...

Wombat 280 · Wombat 280

Here is something to help make Gillard's speeches almost tolerable. Just print this page, distribute it to friends, and listen to her next speech (be sure to read directions at the bottom). Rules for Bull**** Bingo: 1. Before Julia Gillard's next televised speech, print your "Bull**** Bin...

Wombat 280 · Wombat 280

Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself, 'Lillian, you should have remained a virgin..'- Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter)<><> I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalogue: - 'No good in a bed,...

Zoomtopz · Zoomtopz

Irish MirrorAfter living in the remote countryside of Ireland all his life, an old Irishman decided it was time to visit Dublin . In one of the stores he picks up a mirror and looks in it.Not ever having seen one before, he remarked at the image staring back at him. 'How 'bout that!' he exclaims, 'Here's a...

Loffty · Loffty

There once was a man called.. Osama Who caused the U.S such a drama When they spotted his head They shot the pr##k dead Now that's what I call karma

Beth54 · Beth54

Men are from Mars, women are from Venus - crap! Men would have been from Venus too but they got lost and were too pig-headed to read the map!

Cruising Granny · Cruising Granny

Four old retired guys are walking down a street in Port Macquarie, Australia . They turned a corner and see a sign that says, 'Old Timers Bar - all drinks 10 cents.? They look at each other, and then go in, thinking this is too good to be true. The old bartender says in a voice that carries across the room, 'C...

jules47 · jules47

Kitty and Jack My husband took up bowling and he bragged upon the phone about some dame called Kitty whom he couldn't leave aloneHe played with Kitty he stayed with Kitty he picked her up without a hitchHe missed Kitty he kissed Kitty he even layed beside her in the ditchSo I took up bowling to win my hubby...

jules47 · jules47

From:Add to ContactsTo:Undisclosed-Recipient@yahoo.com While on a road trip, an elderly couple stoppedat a roadside restaurant for lunch. After finishing their meal, they left therestaurant, and resumed their trip. When leaving, the elderly woman unknowinglyleft her glasses on the...

Dougie · Dougie

ARE YOU A BITCH?Some friends were sitting at the bar talking about their professions. The first guy says 'I'm a Y.U.P.P.I.E., you know... Young, Urban, Professional, Peaceful, Intelligent, Ecologist' The second guy says 'I'm a D.I.N.K.., you know... Double Income, No Kids.' The third guy sa...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Retired People (Preview) Yesterday I was at my local COLES buying a large bag of Purinadog chow for my loyal pet, Biscuit, the Wonder Dog and was in the checkout line when woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had, an elephant? So since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have...	Firefly	3	1154	11:40 AM May 11, 2011 by rosco
	Go the Irish (Preview) THE IRISH PRIEST {padding-bottom:0px;padding-left:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-top:0px;}	robell	0	808	10:43 PM May 10, 2011 by robell
	A Tater Story (Preview) Well, a Girl Potato and Boy Potato had eyes for each other,and finally they got married, and had a little sweet potato, which they called 'Yam'. Of course, they wanted the best for Yam. When it was time, they told her about the facts of life. They warned her about going out and getting half-bake...	Firefly	0	902	02:49 PM May 10, 2011 by Firefly
	NEW NEW ZEALAND ZONING (Preview) New New Zealand zoning. Sorry, I couldn't make it bigger. It was on an email. -- Edited by Beth54 on Monday 9th of May 2011 05:18:39 PM	Beth54	0	926	05:16 PM May 9, 2011 by Beth54
	New Coffee Special (Preview) New coffee special . . . Osama Bin Latte . . . has a fluffy white head with two shots in it . . .	sucastja	3	1040	10:59 AM May 9, 2011 by old briney
	Forums (Preview) How many forum posters does it take to change a light bulb? 1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed 14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently 7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs...	gubby	3	874	05:01 PM May 8, 2011 by Romy5152
	Circle Flies (Preview) A North Queensland ruff-nut stockman attends a social function where Prime Minister Julia is speechifying. Clearly the stockman was not paying much attention, yackking with those closest and even quite far away. Julia endeavoured to attract his interest with slower single syllable words. Yo...	Zoomtopz	0	687	05:00 PM May 8, 2011 by Zoomtopz
	Best 'Genie' joke ever (Preview) A Husband takes his wife to play her first game of golf. Of course, the wife promptly hacked her first shot right through the window of the biggest house adjacent to the course.The husband cringed, 'I warned you to be careful! Now we'll have to go up there, find the owner, apologize and see how much your l...	Zoomtopz	1	913	04:59 PM May 8, 2011 by Romy5152
	Noah's New Ark (Preview) One day God calls down to Noah and says, "Noah me old china, I want you to make me a new Ark". Noah replies, "No probs God, me old Supreme Being, Anything you want. After all, you're the guv" . But God interrupts, "Ah, but there's a catch." This time Noah, I want not just a...	Firefly	1	1061	02:49 PM May 8, 2011 by Pam
	ATO Auditors (Preview) At the end of the tax year, the Aust Tax office sent an inspector to audit the books of a local hospital. While the ATO agent was checking the books, he turned to the CEO of the hospital and said. "I notice you buy a lot of bandages. What do you do with the end of the roll when ...	Zoomtopz	0	826	05:46 PM May 6, 2011 by Zoomtopz
	WOMEN DRIVERS!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Preview) Driving to work this morning on the freeway, I looked over to my left and there was a woman in a brand new Commodore doing 100 km/h with her face up next to her rear view mirror putting on her eyeliner! I looked away for a couple seconds and when I looked back she was halfway over in my lane, still working on th...	gubby	0	961	07:15 AM May 6, 2011 by gubby
	Offical Bingo Form (Preview) Here is something to help make Gillard's speeches almost tolerable. Just print this page, distribute it to friends, and listen to her next speech (be sure to read directions at the bottom). Rules for Bull Bingo: 1. Before Julia Gillard's next televised speech, print your "Bull**** Bin...	Wombat 280	2	848	06:34 AM May 6, 2011 by sucastja
	Quotes of the century (Preview) Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself, 'Lillian, you should have remained a virgin..'- Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter)<><> I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalogue: - 'No good in a bed,...	Wombat 280	1	1392	09:50 PM May 5, 2011 by gubby
	Irish Mirror (Preview) Irish MirrorAfter living in the remote countryside of Ireland all his life, an old Irishman decided it was time to visit Dublin . In one of the stores he picks up a mirror and looks in it.Not ever having seen one before, he remarked at the image staring back at him. 'How 'bout that!' he exclaims, 'Here's a...	Zoomtopz	0	794	05:00 PM May 5, 2011 by Zoomtopz
	Limerick (Preview) There once was a man called.. Osama Who caused the U.S such a drama When they spotted his head They shot the pr##k dead Now that's what I call karma	Loffty	0	696	09:21 PM May 4, 2011 by Loffty
	Men & Women (Preview) Men are from Mars, women are from Venus - crap! Men would have been from Venus too but they got lost and were too pig-headed to read the map!	Beth54	0	709	06:00 PM May 4, 2011 by Beth54
	Happy Hour - Half Price (Preview) Four old retired guys are walking down a street in Port Macquarie, Australia . They turned a corner and see a sign that says, 'Old Timers Bar - all drinks 10 cents.? They look at each other, and then go in, thinking this is too good to be true. The old bartender says in a voice that carries across the room, 'C...	Cruising Granny	2	1220	07:30 PM May 3, 2011 by Loffty
	Kitty (Preview) Kitty and Jack My husband took up bowling and he bragged upon the phone about some dame called Kitty whom he couldn't leave aloneHe played with Kitty he stayed with Kitty he picked her up without a hitchHe missed Kitty he kissed Kitty he even layed beside her in the ditchSo I took up bowling to win my hubby...	jules47	0	960	05:17 PM May 3, 2011 by jules47
	glasses (Preview) From:Add to ContactsTo:Undisclosed-Recipient@yahoo.com While on a road trip, an elderly couple stoppedat a roadside restaurant for lunch. After finishing their meal, they left therestaurant, and resumed their trip. When leaving, the elderly woman unknowinglyleft her glasses on the...	jules47	2	1164	02:08 PM Apr 28, 2011 by jules47
	This one is for the girls! (Preview) ARE YOU A BITCH?Some friends were sitting at the bar talking about their professions. The first guy says 'I'm a Y.U.P.P.I.E., you know... Young, Urban, Professional, Peaceful, Intelligent, Ecologist' The second guy says 'I'm a D.I.N.K.., you know... Double Income, No Kids.' The third guy sa...	Dougie	0	901	09:43 AM Apr 28, 2011 by Dougie
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