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the flea
(Preview)
a flea was feeling tottally worn out and needed a holiday, he went in to a travel department to see about a week out in the sun the tourism officer said to him "we have just the thing, a week in ringo starr's hair, it'll be great, south of france and in a celebritys hair" flea "I'll take it&...
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dave06
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1
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1092
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Pay for what you want to hear
(Preview)
I love this Doctor Q:Doctor,I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true? ! A:Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it.... don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like sayin...
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Wombat 280
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1
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917
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10 SPEED BIKE
(Preview)
For his 12 birthday, little Joseph wanted a 10 speed bike. His father said, Son if we could afford it we would by u a new bike but your Mother has just lost her job and we have a $28000 morgage that we are struggling with. Next morning he seen young Joseph case in hand about to head out the front door, so h...
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drongo & wendy
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0
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1041
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The Devil Made Me Do It
(Preview)
A novice is driving Mother Superior down the road after Sunday Mass Suddenly the devil jumps on the bonnet of the car and starts cursing the two occupants Mother Superior said to the Novice, wind down your window and show him your cross Novice winds down her window and Yells at the Devil Get To "...
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Wombat 280
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0
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916
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ROSES AND HANGING BASKETS
(Preview)
Subject: FW: ROSES & HANGING BASKETS ROSES & HANGING BASKETS A teenage granddaughter comes downstairs for her date with this see-through blouse on and no bra. Her grandmother just pitched a fit, telling her not to dare go out like that! The teenager tells her 'Loosen up Grams. These are mod...
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sgntbilko
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1
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981
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Planning has started
(Preview)
May be one for DAVO wont be to long before we head to SA . Wilpena Pound is on our radar before either heading up the Stuart or on over to the west. Question is it worth the trip into there in a 2wheel drive [holden] ,and if so is there a beyond W/P. will be late may before we get there im a tinkin no real pl...
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drongo & wendy
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0
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865
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gawd more of maxine
(Preview)
G,AY FROM MAXINE My boss asked me to take anger management classes. Why should i, im angry enough about management already. Some days the best thing about my job, is that the chair spins After a long holiday, the only thing that makes me glad to see the people i work with is having just seen the peo...
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drongo & wendy
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0
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902
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Have a Great Weekend
(Preview)
An older, white haired man walked into a jewellry store one Friday evening with a beautiful young gal at his side. He told the jeweller he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend. The jeweller looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000 ring. The old man said, "No, I'd like to see som...
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Cruising Granny
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1
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984
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New Business
(Preview)
Two Australian businessmen in Brisbane were sitting down for a break in their soon-to-be new store. As yet, the store wasn't ready, with no stock and only a few shelves set up. One said to the other, 'I bet any minute now some idiot tourist is going to walk by, put his face to the window, and ask what we're s...
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Cruising Granny
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0
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915
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Blonde Joke
(Preview)
A blondewalks into a pharmacy and asks the assistant for some rectum deodorant. The pharmacist, a little bemused, explains to the woman that, they don't sell rectum deodorant and never have. Unfazed, the blonde assures the pharmacist that she has been buying the stuff from this store on a regular ba...
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Wombat 280
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1
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1127
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Maxine again
(Preview)
As u slide down the banister of life remember; (1) Jim Baker and Jimmy Swaggett have written an impressive book. Its called............ Ministers Do More Than Lay People. (2) Transvestite: A guy that likes to drink, eat and be Mary (3) The difference beteen the Pope and your boss. The Pope onl...
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drongo & wendy
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1
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921
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The Meaning of Life
(Preview)
On the day God created the dog, He said: 'Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years.' The dog said: 'That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?' So God agreed. On the...
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Cruising Granny
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0
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735
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Kevin the Chicken
(Preview)
Kevin the Chicken Trevor the farmer was in the fertilised egg business. He had several hundred young layers (hens), called 'pullets' and eight or ten roosters, to fertilise the pullets' eggs. Trevor kept records and any rooster that didn't perform went into the soup pot and was replaced. That took a...
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Wombat 280
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2
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1163
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my times up - I'm outer here
(Preview)
See ya, why!!!! well 40 years ago, homosexuals were hung, drawn and quartered 30 years ago, homosexuals were shund, outcast 20 years ago, homosexuals were ignored 10 years ago, homosexuals were accepted just recently, homosexuals were given equal rights I want out before they make it complusory...
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twobob
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1
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899
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4 cats - here pussy pussy he he he
(Preview)
The Four Cats Four men were bragging about how smart their cats were. The first man was an Engineer, the second man was an Accountant, the third man was a Chemist, and the fourth man was a Government Employee. To show off, the Engineer called his cat, 'T-square, do your stuff.'...
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Roostertales
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1
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1000
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great one liners
(Preview)
A car hits an elderly jewish man. Are u comfortable the paramedic askes "I make a good living; I just got back from a pleasure trip, took my mother inlaw to the airport. What are the three words a women dosent want to hear when she is making love. "Honey im home" Someone stole my credit ca...
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drongo & wendy
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1
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1134
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Little Johnny again
(Preview)
A teacher asked her class to write a sentence using the word ' facinate' Molly put her hand up and said "My parents took me to my uncles farm and i seen baby sheep it was 'facinating'. That was good Molly but i wanted u to use the word 'facinate', not facanating. Sally raised her hand and said 'Our f...
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drongo & wendy
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0
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914
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the lisp
(Preview)
A precious little girl walks into a pet shop and asks, in the sweetest lisp between tho missing front teeth, "excuthe me mithter do u keep widdle wabbits" As the store keepers heart melts, he goes down on to his knees so that he is at her level and asks; "Do u want a widdle white wabbit or a t...
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drongo & wendy
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0
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1027
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Live life to the fullest
(Preview)
ATT000033...wav02:20 WHO CARES HOW OLD YOU ARE, LIVE LIFE TO THE FULLEST... "Life's Journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body with a bag full of money, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting, "Holy ****... What a Ride!!"...
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Xtrail51
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3
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1085
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heres tonto and freind again
(Preview)
the lone ranger was having a beer at the bar one day when this feller comes in and says "who owns the big white stallion out the front" the ranger say "he's mine, why" stranger "he's just about dead from heat exhaustion" ranger and tonto run outside and sure enou...
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dave06
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3
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963
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