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HEALTH BULLETIN
(Preview)
Information has just been made public that is something you should all be aware of: Gonorrhoea Lectim. The Centre for Disease Control has issued a warning about a new virulent strain of this old disease. The disease is called Gonorrhoea Lectim. It's pronounced "Gonna re-elect 'im"...
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justcruisin01
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0
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807
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SHOES;
(Preview)
A blonde was on vacation and driving through Darwin. She desperately wanted to take home a pair of genuine crocodile shoes but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking. After becoming very frustrated with the 'no haggle on prices' attitude of one of the shopkeepers, th...
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justcruisin01
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766
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Ambiguity
(Preview)
The Philosophy of Ambiguity FOR THOSE WHO LOVE THE PHILOSOPHY OF AMBIGUITY, AS WELL AS THE IDIOSYNCRASIES OF ENGLISH: 1. DON'T SWEAT THE PETTY THINGS AND DON'T PET THE SWEATY THINGS. 2. ONE TEQUILA, TWO TEQUILA, THREE TEQUILA, FLOOR. 3. ATHEISM IS A NON-PROPHET ORGANIZATION. 4. T...
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clazandaza
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922
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check list.
(Preview)
Two Irishmen making a letter bomb Paddy- Do you think I've put enough explosives in? Mick- Dunno open it and see. Paddy- But it will explode. Mick - Don't be dumb Paddy its not addressed to you.
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justcruisin01
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877
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BUSY;
(Preview)
What Do Retired People Do All Day? Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting. Well, for example, the other day my wife and I went into town and went into a shop. We were only in there for about 5 minutes. When we came out, there was a cop, writing out a parki...
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justcruisin01
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0
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909
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2nd opinion???????????????????????????
(Preview)
While in China , a man is sexually promiscuous and does not use a condom all the time he is there. A week after arriving back home in the States, he wakes one morning to find his penis covered with bright green and purple spots. Horrified, he immediately goes to see a doctor. The doctor, never havi...
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justcruisin01
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0
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877
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WISE MAN;
(Preview)
A farmer named Seamus had a car accident. In court, the lorry company's hot-shot solicitor was questioning Seamus. 'Didn't you say to the Police at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine?' asked the solicitor. Seamus responded: 'Well, I'll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favourite c...
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justcruisin01
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2
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1055
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MOLLY;
(Preview)
Paddy and Murphy were talking one afternoon when Paddy tells Murphy, "Ya know, I reckon I'm 'bout ready for a vacation. Only this year I'm gonna do it a little different. The last few years, I took your advice about where to go. Three years ago you said to go to Hawaii .. I went to Hawaii and Moll...
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justcruisin01
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1
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1035
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DIESES FITTER;
(Preview)
Paddy and Mick were both laid off, so they went to the unemployment office... When asked his occupation, Paddy answered, 'Knicker Stitcher. I sew da elastic onto ladies' knickers and thongs.' The clerk looked up Knicker Stitcher on his computer and, finding it classified as unskilled labour, he ga...
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justcruisin01
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1
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865
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DRUNK!
(Preview)
GOD LOVES DRUNK PEOPLE TOO A man and his wife were awoken at 3:00 am by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger,standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push. "Not a chance," says the husband, "it is 3:00 in the morning!&...
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justcruisin01
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0
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948
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MARY
(Preview)
Mary had a little lamb, Her father shot it dead, Now it goes to school with her, Between two bits of bread.
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goinsoon
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8
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1381
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Brazillion Soldiers
(Preview)
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Allara
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0
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770
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A senior moment
(Preview)
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Allara
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0
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755
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OmYGOD
(Preview)
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Allara
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0
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802
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Blondes
(Preview)
Do you know why blonde jokes are so simple? It is so brunetts can understand them...
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Allara
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1
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864
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No cars
(Preview)
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JRH
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2
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1035
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LOSER
(Preview)
You know you are a loser when a nymphomaniac says to you "Lets just be friends"
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goinsoon
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0
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792
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Will I live to 80?
(Preview)
Here's something to think about. I recently went to a new doctor. After 2 visits, & exhaustive Lab tests, he said I was doing 'fairly well' for my age. I'm about 60. A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him "Do you think I'll live to be 80?" He asked "Do you...
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jimricho
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1
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1021
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WAITING;
(Preview)
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justcruisin01
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0
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908
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OPEN MIND;
(Preview)
The science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class, 'Which human body part increases to ten times its size when stimulated?' No one answered until little Mary stood up and said, 'You should not be asking sixth graders a question like that! I'm going to tell my parents, and they will go and tell the P...
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justcruisin01
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1064
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