Just Joking

Ma · Ma

One afternoon a lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw two men along the roadside eating grass. Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate. He asked one man, 'Why are you eating grass?' 'We don't have any money for food,' the poor man replied. 'We have to eat gras...

DellieMay · DellieMay

Hubby wants to know ....what brand of solar panels should he get to run 2 engel fridges, any why that particular brand. Can any one give him their opinion please.

Ma · Ma

Toward the end of Sunday service, the Minister asked, 'How many of you have forgiven your enemies?' 80% held up their hands. The Minister then repeated his question. All responded this time, except one small elderly lady. 'Mrs. Neely?'; 'Are you not willing to forgive your enemies?' I don't hav...

Firefly · Firefly

Swearing A 7 year old and a 4 year old are upstairs in their bedroom. 'You know what?' says the 7 year old, 'I think it's about time westarted swearing.' The 4 year old nods his head in approval, so the 7 year old says, 'When we go downstairs for breakfast I'm gonna swear first, then you swear after me, ok?' '...

Firefly · Firefly

A FIREMAN came home from work one day and told his wife, 'You know, we have a wonderful system at the fire station: BELL 1 rings and we all put on our jackets, BELL 2 rings and we all slide down the pole, BELL 3 rings and we're on the fire truck ready to go. 'From now on when I say BELL 1 I want you to strip naked. Wh...

Firefly · Firefly

AAADD KNOW THE SYMPTOMS.....PLEASE READ! Thank goodness there's a name for this disorder. Somehow I feel better,even though I have it!! Recently, I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D. - Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder. This is how it manifests: I decide to water my garden. As I turn on the hose i...

Firefly · Firefly

A Drover walks into a bar with a pet crocodile by his side. He puts the crocodile up on the bar. He turns to the astonished patrons. 'I'll make you a deal. I'll open this crocodile's mouth and place my manhood inside. Then the croc will close his mouth for one minute. 'Then he'll open his mouth and I'll remo...

Dragonfly · Dragonfly

Well, the other day my wife and I went into town and went into a shop. We were only in there forabout five minutes.When we came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket. We went up to him and said,'Come on man, how about giving a senior citizen a break?'He ignored us and continued writing the ticket...

Ma · Ma

A man is in bed with his wife when there is a knock at the door. He rolls over and looks at his clock, and it's 3:30 in the morning. "I'm not getting out of bed at this time," he thinks, and rolls over. Then a louder knock follows. "Aren't you going to answer that?" says his wife. So he dr...

Mike47 · Mike47

Stevie Wonder and Tiger Woods are in a bar. Tiger turns to Stevie and says, 'How's the singing career going?' Stevie replies, 'Not too bad. How's the golf?' Woods replies, 'Not too bad, I've had some problems with my swing, but I think I've got that right, now.' Stevie says, 'I always find that when my s...

Ma · Ma

Did You Know This About Leather Dresses? Did you know that when a woman wears a leather dress, a man's heart beats quicker, his throat gets dry, he gets weak in the knees, and he begins to think irrationally??? Ever wonder why? It's because she smells like a new Ute!

Ma · Ma

A little old lady is walking down the street dragging two large plastic garbage bags behind her. One of the bags rips, and every once in a while a $20 bill falls out onto the sidewalk. Noticing this, a policeman stops her, and says, 'Ma'am, there ...

Firefly · Firefly

Jane and Arlene are outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke, when it starts to rain. Jane pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts it over her cigarette, and continues smoking. Arlene: What in the hell is that? Jane: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet. Arlene: Where did you ge...

Cinnamon · Cinnamon

A pirate walked into a bar and the bartender said, Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. What happened? You look terrible. What do you mean? said the pirate, I feel fine. Bartender, What about the wooden leg? You didn't have that before. Pirate, Well, we were in a battle and I got hit with a cannon ball, but I'...

Ma · Ma

An older,white-haired man walked into a jewelry store one Friday evening with a beautiful young gal at his side. He told thejeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend. The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000. ring. The old man said, 'No, I'd like to see something...

Firefly · Firefly

A little girl asked her mother: 'How did the human race appear?'The mother answered, 'God made Adam and Eve,they had children, and so all mankind was made.'Two days later the girl asked her father the same question. The father answered, 'Many years ago there were monkeys from which the humanrac...

Ma · Ma

A woman meets a man in a bar. They talk; they connect; they end up leaving together. They get back to his place, and as he shows her around his apartment. She notices that one wall of his bedroom is completely filled with soft, sweet, cuddly teddy bears. There are three shelves in thebedroom, with hundre...

dave06 · dave06

prince charles was on tour in the remote regions of australia, upon arrival at Kalgoorlie he was inquired upon by the local mayor of his animal skin head wear his reply was "I said to Mummsy that we would be dropping in on Kalgoorlie, and she replied OHHhh!!! wear the fox hat!!"

jimricho · jimricho

A New Zealander was washed up on a beach after a terrible shipwreck. Only a sheep and a sheepdog were washed up with him. Looking around, he realised they were stranded on a deserted island. After being there awhile, he got into the habit of taking his two animal companions to the beach every evening to w...

Ma · Ma

To make it stand, You wet it !To make it wet, You suck it !To make it stiff, You lick it !To get it in, You push it! Darn !!!!!!! Threading a needle when you're older is a BITCH!

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	THE LAWYER (Preview) One afternoon a lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw two men along the roadside eating grass. Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate. He asked one man, 'Why are you eating grass?' 'We don't have any money for food,' the poor man replied. 'We have to eat gras...	Ma	0	637	03:47 PM Sep 11, 2009 by Ma
	solar panels (Preview) Hubby wants to know ....what brand of solar panels should he get to run 2 engel fridges, any why that particular brand. Can any one give him their opinion please.	DellieMay	1	750	08:07 PM Sep 10, 2009 by Ma
	FORGIVEN (Preview) Toward the end of Sunday service, the Minister asked, 'How many of you have forgiven your enemies?' 80% held up their hands. The Minister then repeated his question. All responded this time, except one small elderly lady. 'Mrs. Neely?'; 'Are you not willing to forgive your enemies?' I don't hav...	Ma	1	693	07:38 PM Sep 10, 2009 by DellieMay
	Swearing (Preview) *Swearing* A 7 year old and a 4 year old are upstairs in their bedroom. 'You know what?' says the 7 year old, 'I think it's about time westarted swearing.' The 4 year old nods his head in approval, so the 7 year old says, 'When we go downstairs for breakfast I'm gonna swear first, then you swear after me, ok?' '...	Firefly	0	629	04:45 PM Sep 9, 2009 by Firefly
	Fireman (Preview) A FIREMAN came home from work one day and told his wife, 'You know, we have a wonderful system at the fire station: BELL 1 rings and we all put on our jackets, BELL 2 rings and we all slide down the pole, BELL 3 rings and we're on the fire truck ready to go. *'From now on when I say BELL 1* *I want you to strip naked. Wh...*	Firefly	1	946	05:01 PM Sep 7, 2009 by drongo & wendy
	AAADD (Preview) AAADD KNOW THE SYMPTOMS.....PLEASE READ! *Thank goodness there's a name for this disorder. Somehow I feel better,even though I have it!!* Recently, I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D. - Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder. This is how it manifests: I decide to water my garden. As I turn on the hose i...	Firefly	0	864	10:06 PM Sep 3, 2009 by Firefly
	A Real Australian Outback Story (Preview) A Drover walks into a bar with a pet crocodile by his side. He puts the crocodile up on the bar. He turns to the astonished patrons. 'I'll make you a deal. I'll open this crocodile's mouth and place my manhood inside. Then the croc will close his mouth for one minute. 'Then he'll open his mouth and I'll remo...	Firefly	1	861	10:18 PM Sep 2, 2009 by Pam
	Retired People (Preview) Well, the other day my wife and I went into town and went into a shop. We were only in there forabout five minutes.When we came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket. We went up to him and said,'Come on man, how about giving a senior citizen a break?'He ignored us and continued writing the ticket...	Dragonfly	0	851	06:29 PM Sep 2, 2009 by Dragonfly
	CAP YA GIVE ME A PUSH (Preview) A man is in bed with his wife when there is a knock at the door. He rolls over and looks at his clock, and it's 3:30 in the morning. "I'm not getting out of bed at this time," he thinks, and rolls over. Then a louder knock follows. "Aren't you going to answer that?" says his wife. So he dr...	Ma	1	1138	11:09 AM Sep 1, 2009 by Wombat 280
	Stevie Wonder and Tiger Woods (Preview) Stevie Wonder and Tiger Woods are in a bar. Tiger turns to Stevie and says, 'How's the singing career going?' Stevie replies, 'Not too bad. How's the golf?' Woods replies, 'Not too bad, I've had some problems with my swing, but I think I've got that right, now.' Stevie says, 'I always find that when my s...	Mike47	0	630	01:14 AM Sep 1, 2009 by Mike47
	LEATHER DRESSES (Preview) Did You Know This About Leather Dresses? Did you know that when a woman wears a leather dress, a man's heart beats quicker, his throat gets dry, he gets weak in the knees, and he begins to think irrationally??? Ever wonder why? It's because she smells like a new Ute!	Ma	0	768	11:41 AM Aug 31, 2009 by Ma
	TWO GARBAGE BAGS (Preview) A little old lady is walking down the street dragging two large plastic garbage bags behind her. One of the bags rips, and every once in a while a $20 bill falls out onto the sidewalk. Noticing this, a policeman stops her, and says, 'Ma'am, there ...	Ma	1	842	07:56 PM Aug 28, 2009 by Pam
	Jane and Arlene (Preview) *Jane and Arlene are outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke, when it starts to rain. Jane pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts it over her cigarette, and continues smoking.* *Arlene: What in the hell is that?* *Jane: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.* *Arlene: Where did you ge...*	Firefly	0	777	08:41 AM Aug 28, 2009 by Firefly
	the pirate (Preview) A pirate walked into a bar and the bartender said, Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. What happened? You look terrible. What do you mean? said the pirate, I feel fine. Bartender, What about the wooden leg? You didn't have that before. Pirate, Well, we were in a battle and I got hit with a cannon ball, but I'...	Cinnamon	0	639	08:08 PM Aug 26, 2009 by Cinnamon
	LET ME TELL YOU (Preview) An older,white-haired man walked into a jewelry store one Friday evening with a beautiful young gal at his side. He told thejeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend. The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000. ring. The old man said, 'No, I'd like to see something...	Ma	0	817	07:38 PM Aug 24, 2009 by Ma
	Where Did We Come From (Preview) A little girl asked her mother: 'How did the human race appear?'The mother answered, 'God made Adam and Eve,they had children, and so all mankind was made.'Two days later the girl asked her father the same question. The father answered, 'Many years ago there were monkeys from which the humanrac...	Firefly	0	771	05:46 PM Aug 23, 2009 by Firefly
	The Sensitive Man (Preview) A woman meets a man in a bar. They talk; they connect; they end up leaving together. They get back to his place, and as he shows her around his apartment. She notices that one wall of his bedroom is completely filled with soft, sweet, cuddly teddy bears. There are three shelves in thebedroom, with hundre...	Ma	0	590	09:37 AM Aug 22, 2009 by Ma
	prince charles on tour (Preview) prince charles was on tour in the remote regions of australia, upon arrival at Kalgoorlie he was inquired upon by the local mayor of his animal skin head wear his reply was "I said to Mummsy that we would be dropping in on Kalgoorlie, and she replied OHHhh!!! wear the fox hat!!"	dave06	2	909	08:20 PM Aug 21, 2009 by Pam
	Kiwi on a desert island (Preview) A New Zealander was washed up on a beach after a terrible shipwreck. Only a sheep and a sheepdog were washed up with him. Looking around, he realised they were stranded on a deserted island. After being there awhile, he got into the habit of taking his two animal companions to the beach every evening to w...	jimricho	0	1001	08:12 PM Aug 21, 2009 by jimricho
	Warning "Adult" content.....LOL (Preview) To make it stand, You wet it !To make it wet, You suck it !To make it stiff, You lick it !To get it in, You push it! Darn !!!!!!! Threading a needle when you're older is a BITCH!	Ma	0	1171	08:43 PM Aug 20, 2009 by Ma
«First < 1 … 657 658 659 660 661 … 681 > Last» \| Page of 681 sorted by