Just Joking

Basil Faulty · Basil Faulty

A little girl asks her mum, 'Mum, can I take the dog for a walk around the block?' Her mum replies 'No, because she is on heat.' 'What does that mean?' asked the child. 'Go and ask your father. I think he's in the garage.' The little girl goes out to the garage and says, 'Dad, can I take Lulu for a walk around th...

Cruising Granny · Cruising Granny

I just had to share this one:- This is even funnier when you realise it's real! Next time you have a bad day at work, think of this guy. Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister...

Xtrail51 · Xtrail51

When George Burns was 97 years old he was interviewed by Oprah Winfrey. Oprah asked,' Mr. Burns, how do you carry so much energy with you? You are always working and at your age I think that is remarkable.' Mr. Burns said, 'I just take good care of myself and enjoy what I do when I do it.' Oprah said, 'I u...

Gary and Kerry · Gary and Kerry

Siamese twins walk into a pub in Brisbane and park themselves on a bar stool. One of them says to the barman, 'Don't mind us, we're joined at the hip. I'm Joe, he's Jim, we'll have two XXXX Draught beers please' The barman, feeling slightly awkward, tries to make polite conversation while pouring the be...

Gary and Kerry · Gary and Kerry

'Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater. If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby. If you give her a house, she'll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her. So, if you g...

Roostertales · Roostertales

> > > > > > > > An Asian woman goes in to her local NAB Branch and > begins exchanging her money. > > After the transaction is complete she asks the teller > 'Why it change, yesterday I get two hunat dollar for...

Roostertales · Roostertales

An Irish daughter had not been home for over 5 years. Upon her Return, her Father cussed her. 'Where have ye been all this time? Why did ye not write to us, not even a line? Why didn't ye call? Can ye not understand what ye put yer old Mother thru?' The girl, crying, replied, 'Sniff, sniff.....

Roostertales · Roostertales

In a Chicago hospital, a gentleman had made several attempts to get into the men's restroom, but it had always been occupied. A nurse noticed his predicament. Sir, she said 'You may use the ladies room if you promise not to touch any of the buttons on the wall.' He did what he needed to, and as he sa...

Roostertales · Roostertales

SOCIALISMYou have 2 cows.You give one to your neighbour. COMMUNISMYou have 2 cows.The State takes both and gives you some milk. FASCISMYou have 2 cows.The State takes both and sells you some milk.. NAZISMYou have 2 cows.The State takes both and shoots you. BUREAUCRATISMYou have 2 cows.The Sta...

Gary and Kerry · Gary and Kerry

http://www.newsday.com/news/opinion/ny-walt-babyboomers-blurb,0,1036393.blurb

NannyMon · NannyMon

Oh, I Wish I'd Looked After Me Tits By Pam Ayres Oh, I wish I'd looked after me dear old knockers, Not flashed them to boys behind the school lockers, Or let them get fondled by randy old dockers, Oh, I wish I'd looked after me tits. 'Cos now I'm much older and gravity's winning. It's Natu...

Gary and Kerry · Gary and Kerry

GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED: 1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptise cats. 2) When your Mum is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair. 3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person. 4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold an egg. 5...

Wombat 280 · Wombat 280

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Roostertales · Roostertales

Not sure if anyone has seen this : http://bewareofthedoghouse.com/video.aspx

Xtrail51 · Xtrail51

A Little girl asked her dad,"how did the human race appear"? The daddy answered"God made Adam and Eve, and they had children, and so the human race appeared". Two days later the little girl asked her mother the same question. The mother answered "many years ago there were...

Gary and Kerry · Gary and Kerry

A man staggered into a hospital with a concussion, multiple bruises, two black eyes, and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat. Naturally, the Doctor asked him, 'What happened to YOU?' 'Well, I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife, when at a difficult hole, we both sliced our golf balls...

Wombat 280 · Wombat 280

The little bugger has done it at last

Wombat 280 · Wombat 280

An Aboriginal man in Alice Springs goes to the doctor with a problem - he just can't stop jogging or stand still ! Hey white doctor says the Blackman. What ya think is makin me run all over the place. It's to puckin hot for dat ****. The doctor says It's got me beat but hey I might have a cure. The doctor puts...

twobob · twobob

An elderly couple, Margaret and Bert, move to Texas, Qld. Bert always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots, so, seeing some on sale, he buys them and wears them home. Walking proudly he goes into the kitchen and says to his wife, "Notice anything different about me?" Margaret looks him o...

rowdy · rowdy

FATHER AND SON,SUNDAY MORNING CHAT SON. "HEY DAD GUESS WHAT,I HAD SEX FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT" FATHER. " WELL DONE MATE, SIT DOWN AND TELL ME ALL ABOUT IT" SON. "I CANT DAD, ME BUMS TOO SORE

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	The dog that ran out of petrol (Preview) A little girl asks her mum, 'Mum, can I take the dog for a walk around the block?' Her mum replies 'No, because she is on heat.' 'What does that mean?' asked the child. 'Go and ask your father. I think he's in the garage.' The little girl goes out to the garage and says, 'Dad, can I take Lulu for a walk around th...	Basil Faulty	0	1238	06:02 PM Dec 15, 2008 by Basil Faulty
	Did you have a Jellyfish bad day? (Preview) I just had to share this one:- This is even funnier when you realise it's real! Next time you have a bad day at work, think of this guy. Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister...	Cruising Granny	1	1438	04:24 PM Dec 14, 2008 by dave06
	OH LORD Funny but Naughty (Preview) When George Burns was 97 years old he was interviewed by Oprah Winfrey. Oprah asked,' Mr. Burns, how do you carry so much energy with you? You are always working and at your age I think that is remarkable.' Mr. Burns said, 'I just take good care of myself and enjoy what I do when I do it.' Oprah said, 'I u...	Xtrail51	0	1404	10:10 PM Dec 13, 2008 by Xtrail51
	TWINS (Preview) Siamese twins walk into a pub in Brisbane and park themselves on a bar stool. One of them says to the barman, 'Don't mind us, we're joined at the hip. I'm Joe, he's Jim, we'll have two XXXX Draught beers please' The barman, feeling slightly awkward, tries to make polite conversation while pouring the be...	Gary and Kerry	1	1213	10:05 PM Dec 13, 2008 by jimbo
	Quote of the day (Preview) 'Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater. If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby. If you give her a house, she'll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her. So, if you g...	Gary and Kerry	0	1162	07:15 PM Dec 12, 2008 by Gary and Kerry
	Fresh off the presss (Preview) > > > > > > > > An Asian woman goes in to her local NAB Branch and > begins exchanging her money. > > After the transaction is complete she asks the teller > 'Why it change, yesterday I get two hunat dollar for...	Roostertales	1	1360	08:33 AM Dec 12, 2008 by Pam
	I love a good Irish gag (Preview) An Irish daughter had not been home for over 5 years. Upon her Return, her Father cussed her. 'Where have ye been all this time? Why did ye not write to us, not even a line? Why didn't ye call? Can ye not understand what ye put yer old Mother thru?' The girl, crying, replied, 'Sniff, sniff.....	Roostertales	0	1126	01:00 PM Dec 11, 2008 by Roostertales
	one for the ladies ! (Preview) In a Chicago hospital, a gentleman had made several attempts to get into the men's restroom, but it had always been occupied. A nurse noticed his predicament. Sir, she said 'You may use the ladies room if you promise not to touch any of the buttons on the wall.' He did what he needed to, and as he sa...	Roostertales	0	1166	10:35 AM Dec 10, 2008 by Roostertales
	One for the Kiwi's amongst us - economic's (Preview) SOCIALISMYou have 2 cows.You give one to your neighbour. COMMUNISMYou have 2 cows.The State takes both and gives you some milk. FASCISMYou have 2 cows.The State takes both and sells you some milk.. NAZISMYou have 2 cows.The State takes both and shoots you. BUREAUCRATISMYou have 2 cows.The Sta...	Roostertales	2	1109	04:34 PM Dec 9, 2008 by Roostertales
	Bit of Fun (Preview) http://www.newsday.com/news/opinion/ny-walt-babyboomers-blurb,0,1036393.blurb	Gary and Kerry	0	1015	09:24 PM Dec 8, 2008 by Gary and Kerry
	Poem by Pam Ayres (Preview) Oh, I Wish I'd Looked After Me Tits By Pam Ayres Oh, I wish I'd looked after me dear old knockers, Not flashed them to boys behind the school lockers, Or let them get fondled by randy old dockers, Oh, I wish I'd looked after me tits. 'Cos now I'm much older and gravity's winning. It's Natu...	NannyMon	1	2047	08:24 PM Dec 8, 2008 by dave06
	Stages of Life (Preview) GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED: 1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptise cats. 2) When your Mum is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair. 3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person. 4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold an egg. 5...	Gary and Kerry	1	1162	07:56 PM Dec 8, 2008 by dave06
	Poms In the Outback ( Read at own Risk ) (Preview) <!-- /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0cm; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"T...	Wombat 280	8	2014	07:25 PM Dec 8, 2008 by Dragonfly
	Doghouse blues (Preview) Not sure if anyone has seen this : http://bewareofthedoghouse.com/video.aspx	Roostertales	3	1078	01:30 PM Dec 8, 2008 by dave06
	The Human Race. (Preview) A Little girl asked her dad,"how did the human race appear"? The daddy answered"God made Adam and Eve, and they had children, and so the human race appeared". Two days later the little girl asked her mother the same question. The mother answered "many years ago there were...	Xtrail51	1	1203	01:32 PM Dec 7, 2008 by dave06
	A Cow's Tail (Preview) A man staggered into a hospital with a concussion, multiple bruises, two black eyes, and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat. Naturally, the Doctor asked him, 'What happened to YOU?' 'Well, I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife, when at a difficult hole, we both sliced our golf balls...	Gary and Kerry	0	1244	09:14 PM Dec 4, 2008 by Gary and Kerry
	The Great Escape (Preview) The little bugger has done it at last	Wombat 280	3	1300	11:05 PM Nov 30, 2008 by twobob
	Black is Beautiful (Preview) An Aboriginal man in Alice Springs goes to the doctor with a problem - he just can't stop jogging or stand still ! Hey white doctor says the Blackman. What ya think is makin me run all over the place. It's to puckin hot for dat . The doctor says It's got me beat but hey I might have a cure. The doctor puts...	Wombat 280	3	1238	10:10 AM Nov 28, 2008 by dave06
	watch out for seniors pt 2 (Preview) An elderly couple, Margaret and Bert, move to Texas, Qld. Bert always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots, so, seeing some on sale, he buys them and wears them home. Walking proudly he goes into the kitchen and says to his wife, "Notice anything different about me?" Margaret looks him o...	twobob	2	1094	02:04 PM Nov 24, 2008 by drongo & wendy
	lost virginity (Preview) FATHER AND SON,SUNDAY MORNING CHAT SON. "HEY DAD GUESS WHAT,I HAD SEX FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT" FATHER. " WELL DONE MATE, SIT DOWN AND TELL ME ALL ABOUT IT" SON. "I CANT DAD, ME BUMS TOO SORE	rowdy	2	1486	06:55 PM Nov 23, 2008 by Xtrail51
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