Just Joking

Wombat 280 · Wombat 280

The outgoing message: Hello ! You have reached the automated answering service of your school. In order to assist you in connecting to the right staff member, please listen to all the options before making a selection: To lie about why your child is absent - Press 1 To make excuses for why your child d...

Wombat 280 · Wombat 280

Things Got Ya Down?Well Then, Consider These . . . In a hospital's Intensive Care Unit, patients always died in the same bed, on Sunday morning, at about 11:00 am, regardless of their medical condition. This puzzled the doctors and some even thought it had something to do with the supernatural. No one...

Wombat 280 · Wombat 280

EVE'S SIDE OF THE STORY..... and we are sticking with it !! After three weeks in the Garden of Eden, God came to visit Eve. 'So, how is everything going?' inquired God. 'It is all so beautiful, God,' she replied. 'The sunrises and sunsets Are breathtaking, the smells, the sights, everything i...

sgntbilko · sgntbilko

Man Rules At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down. Finally the guys' side of the story. I must admit, it's pretty good. We always hear the rules from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note.. these are all numbered '1' ON PURPOSE! 1. Men...

Roostertales · Roostertales

Neil ArmstrongON JULY 20, 1969, AS COMMANDER OF THE APOLLO 11 LUNAR MODULE, NEIL ARMSTRONG WAS THE FIRST PERSON TO SET FOOT ON THE MOON. HIS FIRST WORDS AFTER STEPPING ON THE MOON, 'THAT'S ONE SMALL STEP FOR MAN, ONE GIANT LEAP FOR MANKIND,' WERE TELEVISED TO EARTH AND HEARD BY MILLIONS. BUT JUST BEFOR...

Roostertales · Roostertales

Subject: First Date If you didn't see this on the Tonight show, I hope you're sitting down when you read it. This is probably the funniest date story ever, first date or not!!! We have all had bad dates but this takes the cake. Jay Leno went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first date th...

dave06 · dave06

name the song that would go with this picture

Road Ranger · Road Ranger

Never Argue with a Woman One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors and reads her book. Along comes a 'Game Warden' in his boat. He pulls up al...

Wombat 280 · Wombat 280

The Medical Profession Speaks out on the Financial Bail-Out Package The allergists voted to scratch it, and the dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves. The gastroenterologists had sort of a gut feeling about it, but the neurologists thought the administration had a lot of nerve, and the...

dave06 · dave06

a young blonde woman on a flight to darwin in second class suddenly got up out of her seat and walked to first class and promptly sat down upon seeing this the stewardess chased her up and said "madam would you kindly revert to your allocated seat" to which the girl said "I'm blonde and I'...

dave06 · dave06

a man walks into a pub, sits down and orders a beer, notices another young feller up the other end of the bar rolling something around in his fingers saying to himself "looks like plastic, fells like rubber" man goes back to having his beer trying to ignore this young feller with whatever it...

Xtrail51 · Xtrail51

The following was found posted very low on a refrigerator door. Dear Dogs and Cats: The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food an...

JRH · JRH

A SPANISH Teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine. 'House' for instance, is feminine: 'la Casa.' 'Pencil,' however, is masculine: 'el lapiz.' A student asked, 'What gender is 'computer'?' Instead of giving...

drongo & wendy · drongo & wendy

My misses asked me "watcha doing today" I said nuttin She said u done that yesterday I said "i aint finished yet ___________________ Man comes home and finds his wife in bed with one of his mates. So he shoots him dead. Wife says u keep doing that your gunna...

drongo & wendy · drongo & wendy

There was this 10 year old boy walking down the street dragging a squashed frog on a string. He walked up to a house of ill repute and knocked on the door. The Madam answered the door , looked down at the little boy and asked what he wanted, he said i want to have sex with one of your girls, i have money and im no...

Wombat 280 · Wombat 280

The following are all replies that Manchester women have written on Child Support Agency Forms in the section for listing "father's details;" or putting it another way.... Who's your Daddy? These are genuine excerpts from the forms. Be sure to checkout #10. It takes 1st prize and #3 is ru...

sgntbilko · sgntbilko

The doctor, after an examination, sighed and said, 'I've some bad news. You have cancer, and you'd best put your affairs in order.' The woman was shocked, but managed to compose herself and walk into the waiting room where her daughter had been waiting. 'Well daughter, we women celebrate when things...

Wombat 280 · Wombat 280

APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage, and current medical report from your doctor. NAME____________________________________ DATE OF BIRTH_______...

dave06 · dave06

The chief woman 'Greenie Tree-Hugging Activist', who was responsible for getting horses banned from National parks and State forests, was climbing a tree to have a look out over the forest when a Tawny Frogmouth Owl attacked her for invading its nesting site. In a panic to escape, she slid down t...

dave06 · dave06

: BREAKING NEWS ::: Due to the recession in 2009 the government will start deporting all the mentally ill people to save money. I started crying when I thought of you. Run my little crazy friends, run! Well, what can I say ??? Someone sent it to me, and dammit, I'm NOT going alone !!?

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Automation (Preview) The outgoing message: Hello ! You have reached the automated answering service of your school. In order to assist you in connecting to the right staff member, please listen to all the options before making a selection: To lie about why your child is absent - Press 1 To make excuses for why your child d...	Wombat 280	1	830	04:49 PM Mar 16, 2009 by sgntbilko
	Having A Bad Day (Preview) Things Got Ya Down?Well Then, Consider These . . . In a hospital's Intensive Care Unit, patients always died in the same bed, on Sunday morning, at about 11:00 am, regardless of their medical condition. This puzzled the doctors and some even thought it had something to do with the supernatural. No one...	Wombat 280	1	1063	10:12 AM Mar 16, 2009 by dave06
	Eve's Story As told By Eve (Preview) EVE'S SIDE OF THE STORY..... and we are sticking with it !! After three weeks in the Garden of Eden, God came to visit Eve. 'So, how is everything going?' inquired God. 'It is all so beautiful, God,' she replied. 'The sunrises and sunsets Are breathtaking, the smells, the sights, everything i...	Wombat 280	0	1098	09:20 AM Mar 16, 2009 by Wombat 280
	MAN RULES (Preview) Man Rules At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down. Finally the guys' side of the story. I must admit, it's pretty good. We always hear the rules from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note.. these are all numbered '1' ON PURPOSE! 1. Men...	sgntbilko	0	983	08:41 AM Mar 16, 2009 by sgntbilko
	True story apparently (Preview) Neil ArmstrongON JULY 20, 1969, AS COMMANDER OF THE APOLLO 11 LUNAR MODULE, NEIL ARMSTRONG WAS THE FIRST PERSON TO SET FOOT ON THE MOON. HIS FIRST WORDS AFTER STEPPING ON THE MOON, 'THAT'S ONE SMALL STEP FOR MAN, ONE GIANT LEAP FOR MANKIND,' WERE TELEVISED TO EARTH AND HEARD BY MILLIONS. BUT JUST BEFOR...	Roostertales	1	1010	04:14 PM Mar 15, 2009 by SWABy Commander
	worst first date ever (Preview) Subject: First Date If you didn't see this on the Tonight show, I hope you're sitting down when you read it. This is probably the funniest date story ever, first date or not!!! We have all had bad dates but this takes the cake. Jay Leno went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first date th...	Roostertales	1	1271	01:01 PM Mar 14, 2009 by drongo & wendy
	ok heres one for you (Preview) name the song that would go with this picture	dave06	5	955	10:02 AM Mar 14, 2009 by dave06
	Don't do it. (Preview) Never Argue with a Woman One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors and reads her book. Along comes a 'Game Warden' in his boat. He pulls up al...	Road Ranger	2	1106	09:40 AM Mar 14, 2009 by Roostertales
	Medical Proffession Speaks Out (Preview) The Medical Profession Speaks out on the Financial Bail-Out Package The allergists voted to scratch it, and the dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves. The gastroenterologists had sort of a gut feeling about it, but the neurologists thought the administration had a lot of nerve, and the...	Wombat 280	3	1207	09:38 AM Mar 14, 2009 by Roostertales
	young and blonde (Preview) a young blonde woman on a flight to darwin in second class suddenly got up out of her seat and walked to first class and promptly sat down upon seeing this the stewardess chased her up and said "madam would you kindly revert to your allocated seat" to which the girl said "I'm blonde and I'...	dave06	1	856	09:36 AM Mar 14, 2009 by Roostertales
	a little on the nose (Preview) a man walks into a pub, sits down and orders a beer, notices another young feller up the other end of the bar rolling something around in his fingers saying to himself "looks like plastic, fells like rubber" man goes back to having his beer trying to ignore this young feller with whatever it...	dave06	1	1134	09:34 AM Mar 14, 2009 by Roostertales
	For all dog owners........... (Preview) The following was found posted very low on a refrigerator door. Dear Dogs and Cats: The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food an...	Xtrail51	2	1316	09:32 AM Mar 14, 2009 by Roostertales
	Masculine or Feminine (Preview) A SPANISH Teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine. 'House' for instance, is feminine: 'la Casa.' 'Pencil,' however, is masculine: 'el lapiz.' A student asked, 'What gender is 'computer'?' Instead of giving...	JRH	1	1069	03:01 PM Mar 13, 2009 by drongo & wendy
	a couple of quickies (Preview) My misses asked me "watcha doing today" I said nuttin She said u done that yesterday I said "i aint finished yet ___________________ Man comes home and finds his wife in bed with one of his mates. So he shoots him dead. Wife says u keep doing that your gunna...	drongo & wendy	2	948	12:07 PM Mar 13, 2009 by drongo & wendy
	my frog (Preview) There was this 10 year old boy walking down the street dragging a squashed frog on a string. He walked up to a house of ill repute and knocked on the door. The Madam answered the door , looked down at the little boy and asked what he wanted, he said i want to have sex with one of your girls, i have money and im no...	drongo & wendy	0	1027	09:17 AM Mar 13, 2009 by drongo & wendy
	Sad but True (Preview) The following are all replies that Manchester women have written on Child Support Agency Forms in the section for listing "father's details;" or putting it another way.... Who's your Daddy? These are genuine excerpts from the forms. Be sure to checkout #10. It takes 1st prize and #3 is ru...	Wombat 280	0	1105	09:16 PM Mar 12, 2009 by Wombat 280
	PUTTING YOUR AFFAIRS IN ORDER (Preview) The doctor, after an examination, sighed and said, 'I've some bad news. You have cancer, and you'd best put your affairs in order.' The woman was shocked, but managed to compose herself and walk into the waiting room where her daughter had been waiting. 'Well daughter, we women celebrate when things...	sgntbilko	1	1001	08:34 PM Mar 12, 2009 by Wombat 280
	Protective Father (Preview) APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage, and current medical report from your doctor. NAME____________________________________ DATE OF BIRTH_______...	Wombat 280	0	1350	08:31 PM Mar 12, 2009 by Wombat 280
	endangered tree's revenge (Preview) The chief woman 'Greenie Tree-Hugging Activist', who was responsible for getting horses banned from National parks and State forests, was climbing a tree to have a look out over the forest when a Tawny Frogmouth Owl attacked her for invading its nesting site. In a panic to escape, she slid down t...	dave06	3	1135	01:13 PM Mar 12, 2009 by dave06
	urgent request (Preview) : BREAKING NEWS ::: Due to the recession in 2009 the government will start deporting all the mentally ill people to save money. I started crying when I thought of you. Run my little crazy friends, run! Well, what can I say ??? Someone sent it to me, and dammit, I'm NOT going alone !!?	dave06	7	1225	01:04 PM Mar 12, 2009 by JRH
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