|
BLONDS
(Preview)
DISNEYLANDTwo blondes were going to Disneyland . They were driving on the Interstate when they saw the sign that said Disneyland LEFT.. They started crying and turned around and went home. FLORIDA OR MOONTwo blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking, and one blonde says to the...
|
justcruisin01
|
2
|
1003
|
|
|
|
|
quick answers;
(Preview)
SMART ASS ANSWER #6 It was mealtime during an airline flight. 'Would you like dinner?' the flight attendant asked John, seated in front. 'What are my choices?' John asked. 'Yes or no,' she replied. SMART ASS ANSWER #5 A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man app...
|
justcruisin01
|
0
|
1033
|
|
|
|
|
Fortune-Teller
(Preview)
John went to a fortune teller for some guidance. The fortune-teller gazed into her crystal ball and then started laughing uncontrollably.So John punched her on the nose. It was the first time he'd ever struck a happy medium.
|
Hylda&Jon
|
0
|
855
|
|
|
|
|
Wiremu
(Preview)
Wiremu, a New Zealander, was in Australia to watch the upcoming Rugby World Cup and was not feeling well, So he decided to see a doctor. "Hey doc, I dun't feel so good, ey" said Wiremu. The doctor gave him a thorough examination and informed Wiremu that he had long existing and advanced prost...
|
jimricho
|
1
|
942
|
|
|
|
|
Bacon Tree
(Preview)
Bacon Tree Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert after crossing into the United States, wandering aimlessly and starving. They are about to just lie down and wait for death, when all of a sudden Luis says......... "Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell. Ees bacon, I theenk." "Si...
|
clazandaza
|
2
|
949
|
|
|
|
|
A bit short
(Preview)
A three legged dog limped into a saloon . I'm looking for th bloke who shot my paw
|
Zoomtopz
|
2
|
1073
|
|
|
|
|
Life in the Australian Army...
(Preview)
Life in the Australian Army... Text of a letter from a kid from Eromanga to Mum and Dad. (For Those of you not in the know, Eromanga is a small town, west of Quilpie in the far south west of Queensland ) Dear Mum & Dad I am well. Hope youse are too. Tell me big brothers Doug and Phil that the Army is better th...
|
jimricho
|
2
|
1115
|
|
|
|
|
R&R
(Preview)
An American soldier, serving in World War II, had just returned from several weeks of intense action on the German front lines. He had finally been granted R&R and was on a train bound for London. The train was very crowded, so the soldier walked the length of the train, looking for an empty seat. Th...
|
goinsoon
|
1
|
1040
|
|
|
|
|
the crimson parrot;
(Preview)
It's been a rough week but I made it - how about you?
|
justcruisin01
|
0
|
1029
|
|
|
|
|
Where's
(Preview)
I have not seen Granny on lately , or is she she just being a Lerkalot
|
Zoomtopz
|
0
|
1054
|
|
|
|
|
The Emu
(Preview)
An Aussie truckie walks into an outback cafe with a full-grown emu behind him. The waitress asks them for their orders. The truckie says, 'A hamburger, chips and a coke, 'and turns to the emu, 'What's yours?' 'I'll have the same,' says the emu. A short time later the waitress returns with the order 'Tha...
|
Zoomtopz
|
0
|
1002
|
|
|
|
|
Examiner
(Preview)
My wife just reminded me of this - True , one of Zoomtopz'z real life stories . Barbara was expecting our son , she was 40 having her 1st child . I was 46 & 4th . Being a good little hubby I goes along to pre-natal classes with all the 20something . We were dutifully doing all the exercises as the midwife is...
|
Zoomtopz
|
1
|
1010
|
|
|
|
|
Treachery in Canberra
(Preview)
There had been a heavy snowstorm in Canberra and Kevin Rudd was arriving at Parliament House to start work for the day. He noticed that someone had urinated in the snow and had written the words "Rudd Sucks" As KRudd figured that it was probably the work of one of Tony Abbott's henchmen he ca...
|
jimricho
|
8
|
1364
|
|
|
|
|
VOTING
(Preview)
If voting could realy change things.. It would be illegal..!!!
|
BobnBev
|
0
|
824
|
|
|
|
|
Another True story
(Preview)
Honest - I told my Mum & Dad I was going to get married , the wedding would be about 18 months , seeing I was in the Navy , we would have to be flexible on dates . Well , Mum says , getting married ah . Yeah mum . Ok , I will let you get married IF , you can tell me "What's , what is" . What a stupid questio...
|
Zoomtopz
|
0
|
1367
|
|
|
|
|
HE ASKED FOR IT
(Preview)
Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary! The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads, 'Here Lies My Wife -- Cold As Ever'!" "Yeah?" she replies. "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads,...
|
goinsoon
|
3
|
1211
|
|
|
|
|
BeWare of Wild Animals
(Preview)
We've all had trouble with our animals, but I don't think anyone can top this one: Calling in sick to work makes me uncomfortable. No matter how legitimate my excuse, I always get the feeling that my boss thinks I'm lying. On one recent occasion, I had a valid reason but lied anyway, because the truth was...
|
Zoomtopz
|
2
|
1765
|
|
|
|
|
Ooooooooppppsssssss!
(Preview)
rriiiiinnnnggg, rrriiiinnnngg,** **'Hello?'** **'Hi honey.** **This is Daddy.** **Is Mommy near the phone?'** **'No, Daddy.** **She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Gabe.'** **After a brief pause,** **Daddy says,** **'But honey, you haven't got an Uncle Gabe.'** **'Oh yes I do, a...
|
justcruisin01
|
3
|
1228
|
|
|
|
|
Mobile Phone for Seniors
(Preview)
Mobile Phone for Seniors.... (errrr, that's us )
|
jimricho
|
1
|
1104
|
|
|
|
|
Struggling with the Booze
(Preview)
|
jimricho
|
2
|
984
|
|
|
