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A DAY AS A COPPER
(Preview)
Alocal policeman had just finished and was at home with his misses. You wont believe what happened this evening, in all my years in the force iv never seen anything like it. 'Yes dear what happened" I came accros two blokes down by the river, one was drinking battery acid and th...
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drongo & wendy
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0
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1032
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Flogging a dead 'orse
(Preview)
Flogging a dead horse Young Kevin, moved to Canberra and bought a Donkey from a farmer for $100.00. The farmer agreed to deliver the Donkey the next day. The next day he drove up and said, 'Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the donkey died.' Kevin replied, 'Well,then just give me my money back.' Th...
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Roostertales
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2
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1178
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I.T. for new wives
(Preview)
INSTALLING A HUSBAND Dear Tech Support, Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstall...
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Roostertales
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0
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1027
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Kiwi Joke
(Preview)
Question: What's a Hindu? Kiwi answer: Lay's iggs
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Mike47
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4
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1302
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Kiwi bashing
(Preview)
The Centrelink Office. A long - haired kiwi walked into the local Centrelink office to pick up his dole cheque. He marched straight up to the counter and said, 'Hi. You know, I just HATE drawing the dole. I'd really rather have a job.' The Centrelink girl behind the counter said, ' Your timing is exce...
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Roostertales
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1
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1564
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The Professer
(Preview)
A professer at the University of Sydney was giving a lecture on 'Involuntry Muscular Contractions' to his first year students. Realising this was not the most riviting subject, the Professer decided to lighten the mood slightly. He pointed to a young women in the front row and said, 'do u know what y...
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drongo & wendy
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2
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1145
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CREDIT CRUNCH
(Preview)
CREDIT CRUNCH.
Dear employees,
Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown of economy, Management has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 40 years of age and above on early retirement. This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).
Persons selecte...
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sgntbilko
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2
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1201
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Retire Early to Avoid Policy Changes
(Preview)
DUE TO WORLD FINANCIAL CRISIS AND BUDGET CUTS, THIS IS YOUR NEW OFFICE EFFECTIVE APRIL 1, 2009 NEW OFFICE POLICY Dress Code: 1) You are advised to come to work dressed according to your salary. 2) If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we will assume you are doing well financia...
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Wombat 280
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0
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1308
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LIFE IN THE 1500's
(Preview)
LIFE IN THE 1500'S **
The next time you are washing your hands and complain because the water temperature isn't just how you like it, think about how things used to be.
Here are some facts about the 1500s:
Most people got married in June because they took their ye...
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sgntbilko
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1
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1349
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FLU SHOT
(Preview)
Better than a Flu Shot!
Miss Beatrice,
The church organist,
Was in her eighties
And had never been married.
She was admired for her sweetness
And kindness to all.
One afternoon the pastor
Came to call on her and she showed him...
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sgntbilko
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1
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1286
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what starts with "F" and ends with a "k"
(Preview)
What Starts with F and ends with K? A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, 'Harry, what's your problem?' Harry answered, 'I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I'msmarter than she is! I think I shouldbe in the 3rd gra...
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sgntbilko
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0
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1301
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Economic Stimulus package
(Preview)
Important Information on the Stimulus Payment This year, taxpayers will receive an Economic Stimulus Payment. This is a very exciting new program that I will explain using the Q and A format: "Q. What is an Economic Stimulus Payment? "A. It is money that the federal governme...
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Roostertales
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0
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1000
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a short love story
(Preview)
A man and a woman who had never met before, but who were both married to other people, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a trans-continental train. Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly, he in the upper be...
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mike and Judy
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1
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1149
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dont read if you are easily offended or have the mindset of a twelve year old
(Preview)
this was sent to me by a lovely lady whom shall remain nameless, but it is too funny to leave it out Magic Sandals A married couple were on holiday in Jamaica . They were touring around the market-place looking at the goods and such, when they passed a small sandal shop. From inside they heard the shopkeep...
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dave06
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9
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1408
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The honeymoon
(Preview)
THE WEDDING NIGHT Fred and Mary get married but couldn't afford a honeymoon, so they go back to Fred's Mom and Dad's house for their first night together. In the morning, Johnny, Fred's little brother, gets up and has his breakfast. As he is going out of the door to go to school, he asks his mom if F...
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Roostertales
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1
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1227
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WHY MEN DON'T WRITE ADVICE COLUMNS
(Preview)
Subject: FW: WHY MEN DON'T WRITE ADVICE COLUMNS Dear Robert, I hope you can help me here. The other day, I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV as usual. I hadn't driven more than 5 miles down the road when the engine conked out and the car shuddered to a halt. I walked back hom...
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Xtrail51
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6
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1375
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Motor Vehicle (and Motorhome) Repairs
(Preview)
Always remember, If you can't fix it with a hammer, the problem is electrical.
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Mike47
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1
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1253
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You Have to Love Little Johnny
(Preview)
Kevin Rudd was visiting a primary school and he visited one of the classes. They were in the middle of a discussion related to words andtheir meanings. The teacher asked Kevin, the saviour of 'working families', if he would like to lead the discussion on the word 'tragedy'. So Kevin (the saviour of 'wo...
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Wombat 280
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2
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1251
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That was a stuff up. $1.99 special Trying again. Looks like it worked properly this time.
(Preview)
The $1.99 Special We went to breakfast at a restaurant where the 'seniors' special' was two eggs, bacon, hash browns and toast for $1.99.'Sounds good,' my wife said. 'But I don't want the eggs.' 'Then, I'll have to charge you two dollars and forty-nine cents because you're ordering a la carte,' the wa...
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Xtrail51
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0
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1124
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$1.99 Special.........
(Preview)
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Xtrail51
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0
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878
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