|
CATHOLIC PARROTS
(Preview)
A lady goes to her priest one day and tells him, 'Father, I have a problem. I have two female parrots, But they only know how to say one thing.' 'What do they say?' the priest inquired. They say, 'Hi, we're hookers! Do you want to have some fun?' That's obscene!' the priest exclaimed, Then he tho...
|
justcruisin01
|
0
|
961
|
|
|
|
|
CORKED;
(Preview)
Two Arab terrorists are in a locker room taking a shower after their bomb making class in Melbourne , when one notices the other has a huge cork stuck in his arse. If you do not mind me saying,' stated the second, 'that cork looks very uncomfortable. Why don't you take it out?' I regret I cannot', lamented...
|
justcruisin01
|
0
|
988
|
|
|
|
|
Insurance Claims
(Preview)
1/ Leaving my driveway this morning I drove straight into a bus as it was 5 minutes early. 2/ I was driving along the road when I saw two kangaroos copulating in the middle of the road, causing me to ejaculate through the sun roof. 3/ I started to slow down, but the traffic was more stationery than I first th...
|
goinsoon
|
0
|
840
|
|
|
|
|
Tiger Woods
(Preview)
In Ireland, Tiger Woods drives his BMW into a petrolstation in a remote part of the Irish countryside. The pump attendant, obviously knows nothing about golf, greets him ina typical Irish manner completely unaware of who the golfing pro is. Top of the mornin' to yer, sir" says the attendant.Ti...
|
Disco Duck
|
0
|
938
|
|
|
|
|
Patty and the Blonde
(Preview)
Patty walks into a bar . about half along the bar sits a beautiful blonde with large breastt resting on the bar Patty orders a schooner of black Barman pours the schooner and slides it along the bar towards Patty The beer hits the blondes breast and in a flash the barman wipes the bar and licks the beer fr...
|
Wombat 280
|
0
|
1065
|
|
|
|
|
MONEY HUNGRY;
(Preview)
Scottish Courtship A young Scottish lad and lass were sitting on a low stone wall, holding hands, gazing out over the Loch and for several minutes they sat silently, then finally the girl looked at the boy and said, "A penny for your thoughts, Conor." "Well, uh, I was thinkin' ... per...
|
justcruisin01
|
0
|
913
|
|
|
|
|
DIAGNOSIS;
(Preview)
Actual writings in Mpumalanga Hospital (South Africa) Register... 1. The patient refused autopsy. 2. The patient has no previous history of suicides. 3. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital. 4. Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 11 kgs weig...
|
justcruisin01
|
0
|
1052
|
|
|
|
|
Movie Duck
(Preview)
So, this guy has a pet duck and he goes to the movie theater to see a movie and brings his duck with him. He goes to the ticket window and says to the lady, "I'd like two tickets, one for me, and one for my duck." The lady says, "I can't give your duck a ticket." The man says, "What gi...
|
Gary and Kerry
|
0
|
804
|
|
|
|
|
Blondie;
(Preview)
Highway patrol officer spots a blonde driving down the road with no hands on the wheel , he pulls alongside to see she is knitting , he the calls to her,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, pullover.. she replies ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,no, jumper!
|
justcruisin01
|
0
|
1030
|
|
|
|
|
New Car
(Preview)
Renault and Ford are working on a new small car for women. They are mixing the Clio and the Taurus, and calling it the "Clitaurus." It comes in pink and the average male thief won't be able to find it, even if someone tells him where it is.
|
Firefly
|
6
|
1210
|
|
|
|
|
SMART ARSED ANSWERS 2009
(Preview)
The last one is a worthy winner. 6th Place It was mealtime during a flight on a British Airways plane: 'Would you like dinner?' the flight attendant asked the man seated in the front row. 'What are my choices?' the man asked. 'Yes or no,' she replied. 5th Place A flight attendant was stationed at t...
|
hammer
|
4
|
1047
|
|
|
|
|
BLONDE AT MAILBOX
(Preview)
A man was in his front yard mowing his lawn, when his attractive blonde neighbour came out of her house and went straight to her mailbox, She opened it then slammed it shut and stomped back into her house in a huff. A little later she again came out of the house and went to the mailbox opend it, slammed it shu...
|
goinsoon
|
0
|
1079
|
|
|
|
|
Centrelink
(Preview)
A woman walks into the Charnwood Centrelink office, trailed by 15 kids.... "WOW," the social worker exclaims, "Are they ALL yours? "Yeah they are all mine," the flustered mother sighs, having heard that question a thousand times before. She says, "Sit down Terry...
|
jimricho
|
0
|
1016
|
|
|
|
|
Help Me Doc
(Preview)
So this guy walks into the doctor's office with this big black duck on his head. The doctor looks up and says, "Yes, sir, can I help you?" And the duck says, "Yeah, can you get this guy off my arse?"
|
joebee
|
2
|
987
|
|
|
|
|
Another Blonde Joke
(Preview)
A Blonde was sent on her way to Heaven. Upon arrival, a concerned St Peter met her at the Pearly Gates. 'I'm sorry,' St Peter said; 'But Heaven is suffering from an overload of goodly souls and we have been forced to put up an Entrance Exam for new arrivals to ease the burden of Heavenly Arrivals..' 'That...
|
Palebushman
|
0
|
903
|
|
|
|
|
Wish You Hadn't Said That?
(Preview)
Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately take the words back... or that you could crawl into a hole?Here are the Testimonials of a few people who did..... FIRST TESTIMONY: I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly, 'How much do you charge for a sham...
|
Gary and Kerry
|
2
|
990
|
|
|
|
|
another anti blonde joke
(Preview)
This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid. So, she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart. While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house. The next day...
|
Basil Faulty
|
1
|
1142
|
|
|
|
|
Is It That Hard??
(Preview)
To make it Stand, You Wet it ! To make it Wet, You Suck it ! To make it Stiff, You Lick it ! To Get It In, You Push it! Damn!!!! Threading a Needle when you're AN OLD FART is a Bitch!!!!!
|
Disco Duck
|
2
|
996
|
|
|
|
|
The Pirate.
(Preview)
A pirate walked into a bar and the bartender said : 'Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. What happened? You look terrible.' 'What do you mean?' said the pirate, 'I feel fine.' Bartender: 'What about the wooden leg? You didn't have that before.' Pirate: 'Well, we were in a battle and I got hit with a cannon...
|
Sandym54
|
1
|
908
|
|
|
|
|
$50 Session
(Preview)
An elderly man and woman, both in their 70's, walk into a sex therapist's office. The doctor asks, 'What can I do for you?' The man says, 'Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?' The doctor raises both eyebrows, but he is so amazed that such an elderly couple is asking for sexual advice, that he agr...
|
Sandym54
|
0
|
833
|
|
|
