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Don't mess with old people
(Preview)
HOW TO CALL THE POLICE WHEN YOU'RE OLD AND DON'T MOVE FAST ANYMORE. George Phillips of Newark, New Jersey was going up to bed when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, whichshe could see from the bedroom window. George opened the back door to go turn off the light but saw tha...
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The Gnome
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1
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1148
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Signs of the times
(Preview)
WHATEVER HITS THE FAN WILL NOT BE DISTRIBUTED EVENLY. I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it. FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS! Except that one where you're naked in church. Heaven is Where: The Police are British, The Chefs are Italian, The Mechanics are German, The Lovers are...
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The Gnome
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1
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855
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Just Loverly
(Preview)
1) This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles.(Kelly age 6)2) Oysters balls are called pearls. (James age 6)3) If you are surrounded by sea you are an Island. If you don't have sea all round you, you are incontinent. (Wayne age 7)4) Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emil...
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The Gnome
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0
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912
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Life's Choice
(Preview)
ALZHEIMER'S OR PARKINSONS Which one would you rather have?PARKINSONS of course! Better to spill half your drink than forget where the hell you put it!
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The Gnome
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0
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997
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Dont ........................STOP
(Preview)
...................................................STOP-- Edited by twobob on Friday 27th of March 2009 08:55:...
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twobob
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1
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1063
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Athiest Holy Day
(Preview)
In Florida, an atheist created a case against the upcoming Easter and Passover holy days. He hired an attorney to bring a discrimination case against Christians, Jews and observances of their holy days. The argument was that it was unfair that atheists had no such recognized days. The case was broug...
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JRH
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1
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1244
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Another one for the ladies
(Preview)
Three Hillbillies are sitting on a porch shootin' the breeze. 1st Hillbilly says: "My wife sure is stupid!...She bought an air conditioner. " 2nd Hillbilly says: "Why is that stupid?" 1st Hillbilly says: "We ain't got no 'lectricity!" 2nd Hillbilly...
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Roostertales
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0
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949
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One for the ladies
(Preview)
CAKE OR BED A HUSBAND IS AT HOME WATCHING A FOOTBALL GAME WHEN HIS WIFE INTERRUPTS, HONEY, COULD YOU FIX THE LIGHT IN THE HALLWAY? IT'S BEEN FLICKERING FOR WEEKS NOW. HE LOOKS AT HER AND SAYS ANGRILY, FIX THE LIGHTS NOW? DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE ENERGY AUSTRALIA WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD? I DON'T THI...
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Roostertales
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0
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877
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PICK THE BLONDE
(Preview)
Okay.........here it is. A test to see if your brain is still working. Which one do you think is the blonde? Scroll down Amazing I did not See it before.. The Blonde is the one With the wrong leg up. That is OK I did not Pass the test EITHER!!!!!
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sgntbilko
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3
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1428
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testicle therapy
(Preview)
Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole. The ball hit one of the men. He immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony. The woman rushed down to...
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mike and Judy
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3
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1156
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The Orgins of Red Headed Kids
(Preview)
WHERE DO REDHEADED BABIES COME FROM? After their baby was born, the panicked father went to see the Obstetrician. 'Doctor,' the man said, 'I don't mind telling you, but I'm a little upset because my daughter has red hair. Shecan't possibly be mine!!' 'Nonsense,' the doctor said.'Even though you an...
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Wombat 280
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2
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1504
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BAR TALK
(Preview)
Walking into a bar Mike said to Charlie the bartender "pour me a stiff one" just had another fight with the little women. Oh year said Charlie how did this one end. Well when it was over she came to me on her hands and knees. "Really"said Charles now thats a change what did she have...
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drongo & wendy
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0
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1118
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seniors
(Preview)
Two businessmen in Sydney were sitting down taking a break in there soon to be opened store, one said to the other "i bet any minute now some senior is going to walk by and put his face to the window and ask, " what are we going to be selling" Wasnt long before an oldie came along and asked t...
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drongo & wendy
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0
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963
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viagra
(Preview)
An old man goes into a chemist to get some viagra, "can i have 6 viagra cut in to quarters. I can cut them into quarters for u says Dan the pharmasist, but a quarter wont give u an erection. Im 96 says the old bloke, "i dont want an erection", i just want it sticking out a bit so i dont piddle in m...
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drongo & wendy
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0
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1025
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In mourning (a little risque)
(Preview)
Maria had lost her husband almost...
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Roostertales
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0
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933
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birds and the bees
(Preview)
The teacher was telling the kids about the birds and the bees and sheexplained that when a man and a woman meet and fall in love, nine monthslater the stork usually brings them a little baby from its nest. Little Johnny at the back of the class put his hand up and asks the teacher, are you sur...
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Roostertales
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0
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972
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the irish
(Preview)
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drongo & wendy
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0
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914
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Real Bad Day
(Preview)
This bloke must be a Public Servant
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Wombat 280
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1
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1136
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THE BLONDE MORTICIAN
(Preview)
A man who just died is delivered to a local mortuary wearing an expensive, expertly tailored black suit. The female blonde mortician asks the deceased's wife how she would like the body dressed. She points out that the man does look good in the black suit he is already wearing. The widow, howeve...
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sgntbilko
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4
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1400
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Now that hurts
(Preview)
GRANDMA AND GRANDPA WERE WATCHING A RELIGIOUS HEALING PROGRAM ON TV... THE EVANGELIST CALLED TO ALL WHO WANTED TO BE HEALED, TO PUT ONE HAND ON THE TV AND THE OTHER ON THE BODY PART THEY WANTED HEALED... GRANDMA HOBBLED TO THE TV AND PUT ONE HAND ON THE TV AND THE OTHER ON HER ARTHRITIC HIP.. GRANDPA MADE HI...
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Wombat 280
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0
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1236
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