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Excerpts from childrens essays....
(Preview)
From children's essays.. It was an age of great inventions and discoveries. Gutenberg invented removable type and the Bible. Another important invention was the circulation of blood. Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure because he invented cigarettes and started smoking. Sir Francis Drak...
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Basil Faulty
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4
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1654
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the nun
(Preview)
Subject: Nun The Nun in Hooters A nun, badly needing to use the restroom, walked into a local Hooters. The place was hopping with music and loud conversation and every once in a while "the lights would turn off." Each time the lights would go out, the place would erupt into cheers. However...
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dave06
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1
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1068
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Fixing The Country
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This is what I reckon we should do... Dear Mr. Rudd, Please find below my suggestion for fixing Australia's economy. Instead of giving billions of dollars to banks that will squander the money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan. You can call it the Patriotic Retireme...
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Cruising Granny
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1
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1213
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Replaced by Mini
(Preview)
Garage Door The boss walked into the office one morning not knowing his zipper was down and his fly area wide open. His assistant walked up to him and said, 'This morning when you left your house, did you close your garage door?' The boss told her he knew he'd closed the garage door, and walked into his off...
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Wombat 280
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0
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1119
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Second Opinion
(Preview)
Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical. A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm. A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, 'You're really doing great, aren't you?' Morris replied, 'Just doing what y...
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Wombat 280
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0
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1088
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THE HUNTER
(Preview)
A bloke was out for a bit of hunting with his shotgun. He spotted a duck, so he shot it. Then he spotted a rabbit, so he shot it. Just then he noticed a gorgeous woman lying on the grass under a shady tree, stark naked. He walked up and asked her if she was game and she said she was. . . So he shot her. -- Edited by Mi...
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Mike47
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0
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1165
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SWINE FLU - AGAIN
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Just phoned the NHS swine flu helpline and all I got was crackling. How did the pig go on holiday? The swine flu !!! Swine flu isn't a problem for pigs, because they're all going to be cured anyway. The first sign of pig flu is that you come out in nasty rashers. If you want a clear train carriage on the way int...
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Ma
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1
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1341
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Signwriter who got it very wrong
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Have a look at this - it's disgusting.
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Basil Faulty
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1
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1331
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Keep the Motor Running.
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The marriage of an 80 year old man and a 20 year old woman was the talk of the town. After being married a year, the couple went to the hospital for the birth of their first child.The attending nurse came out of the delivery room to congratulate the old gentleman and said, 'This is amazing. How do you do it a...
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Xtrail51
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0
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1009
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Duck hunter
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A duck hunter was out enjoying a nice morning on the marsh when he decided to take a leak..... He walked over to a tree and propped up his gun. Just then a gust of wind blew, the gun fell over, and discharged... shooting him in the genitals. Several hours later, lying in a hospital bed, he was approached by h...
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Basil Faulty
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4
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1325
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A Trip to Costco
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Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Biscuit, the Wonder Dog and was in the checkout line when woman behind me asked if I had a dog.What did she think I had, an elephant? So since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have...
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suenami
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0
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1221
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blondes
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Well I cant help it .... I'm bored .. and it is still raining.
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Monica
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0
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1162
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the things people do
(Preview)
I think this guy is bored too
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Monica
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0
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1190
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how about this one
(Preview)
I'm bored by all the rain so I'm looking at jokes, how about this one.
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Monica
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0
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1150
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Redneck motor home
(Preview)
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Monica
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2
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1387
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Harry
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Fred got home from his Sunday round of golf later than normal and very tired. "Bad day at the course?" his wife asked. "Everything was going fine," he said. "Then Harry had a heart attack and died on the 10th tee." "Oh, that's awful!" "You're not kidd...
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Monica
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1
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1287
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GOLFERS HONEYMOON
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A guy out on the golf course takes a high speed ball right in the crotch. Writhing in agony, he falls to the ground. As soon as he could manage, he took himself to the doctor. He said 'How bad is it doc? I'm going on my honeymoon next week and my fiancée is still a virgin - in every way' The doctor told him,...
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sgntbilko
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2
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1292
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A TOUCHING LOVE STORY ABOUT HONESTY
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This 80 year old woman was arrested for shop lifting. When she went before the judge in Sydney he asked her, "What did you steal?" She replied, "A can of peaches." The judge then asked her why she had stolen the can of peaches, and she replied that she was hungry. And my husband wo...
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sgntbilko
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0
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1144
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The Ventriloquist - I rest my case
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A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small town in Essex.. With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blond jokes when a blond woman in the 4th row stands on her chair and starts shouting: 'I've heard enough of your stupid blond jokes. What m...
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sgntbilko
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0
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1086
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Beware You Footy Fans
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Two Garbage Bags A little old lady is walking down the street dragging two large plastic garbage bags behind her. One of the bags rips, and every once in a while a $20 bill falls out onto the sidewalk. Noticing this, a policeman stops her, and says, 'Ma'am, there are $2...
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The Gnome
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1
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1240
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