|
Ponderings collection
(Preview)
Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them? Why do people who know the least know it the loudest? If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their headlights off? If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound? If a turtle doesn't have a sh...
|
Pickles
|
0
|
1119
|
|
|
|
|
one for our girls
(Preview)
just for you ladys This is a specially formulated diet designed to help WOMEN cope with the stress that builds during the day BREAKFAST 1 Grapefruit 1 slice Wholemeal toast 1 cup skimmed milk LUNCH 1 small portion lean, steamed chicken with a cup of spinach 1 cup herbal tea 1 biscuit AFTERNOON TEA The re...
|
dave06
|
3
|
1446
|
|
|
|
|
POST OFFICE JOB INTERVIEW
(Preview)
A guy goes to the Post Office to apply for a job. The interviewer asks him "Are you allergic to anything?" He says "Yes, just caffeine." "Have you ever been in the service?" the interviewer asks. "Yes," he says, "I was in Iraq for two years."...
|
sgntbilko
|
1
|
1692
|
|
|
|
|
ROAD USERS BE AWARE!
(Preview)
Two elderly women were out driving in a large car. Both could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along, they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red but they just went on through. The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself, 'I must be losing it! I could have sworn we just w...
|
Ma
|
0
|
1096
|
|
|
|
|
GOD, THE DEVIL & FAT
(Preview)
In the beginning God covered the earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, with green, yellow and red vegetables of all kinds so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives. Then using God's bountiful gifts, Satan created Dairy Ice Cream and Magnums. And Satan said, 'You want hot fudge with t...
|
Ma
|
1
|
1248
|
|
|
|
|
Only great minds can read this
(Preview)
This is weird, but interesting! fi yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can. i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't...
|
Pickles
|
1
|
1142
|
|
|
|
|
What will the neighbors think?
(Preview)
Jack was living in Queensland during a heat wave when the following took place. "It's just too hot to wear clothes today," complained Jack as he stepped out of the shower. "Honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?" "Probably that I ma...
|
Pickles
|
0
|
978
|
|
|
|
|
Tell me what I am
(Preview)
A snake and a rabbit were racing along a pair of intersecting forest pathways one day, when they collided at the intersection. They immediately began to argue with one another as to who was at fault for the mishap. When the snake remarked that he had been blind since birth, and thus should be given addit...
|
Pickles
|
2
|
1182
|
|
|
|
|
how many????????
(Preview)
How many phsychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb!!!! only one, but the lightbulb must want to change!!!!!!!!!!!!!
|
dave06
|
0
|
863
|
|
|
|
|
a spikey one
(Preview)
little Johnny went up to his mother and said "can I play with the porcupine too mommy" wherein mum says "what porcupine, we havent got a porcupine, where did you get that nonsense from" to which a very indignent young Johnny replied "you have so, I heard you say to daddy th...
|
dave06
|
1
|
1016
|
|
|
|
|
a washing problem
(Preview)
the newly married couple had a secret system worked out for when they wished to "fool around" whenever company was present, the "secret" language would be "I have some washing to do" at a dinner party the young man said to his young bride "I have a load of washin...
|
dave06
|
0
|
955
|
|
|
|
|
Save the dead rabbit
(Preview)
A man was driving along the highway, and saw a rabbit hopping across the middle of the road. He swerved to avoid hitting the rabbit, but unfortunately the rabbit jumped in front of the car and was hit. The driver, being a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulled over to the side of the road and got ou...
|
Pickles
|
3
|
1369
|
|
|
|
|
CREATION
(Preview)
A man said to his wife one day, 'I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time. 'The wife responded, 'Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!
|
Pickles
|
0
|
1066
|
|
|
|
|
servicing the herd
(Preview)
My herd of Lowlines, were due to be services, as they had all dropped their calfs, and it was time to pump em back up. So I bundled them into the cattle crate and headed to my mate who had a good bull. When he was finished i loaded them backup and returned The next morning I rolled over and asked Monica to look o...
|
twobob
|
0
|
1218
|
|
|
|
|
coupla cow jokes
(Preview)
Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy: I was artificially inseminated this morning. Dolly: I don't believe you. Daisy: It's true, straight up, no bull! Two cows stand in a field. First cow: Are you worried about this Mad Cow Disease thats going round? Second cow: Not really, I'm a ch...
|
dave06
|
1
|
1308
|
|
|
|
|
coupla ducky jokes
(Preview)
Three guys died in an accident and went to heaven. When they got there, St. Peter said, "We only have one rule in heaven. Don't step on the ducks!" So they entered heaven and sure enough, there were ducks all over the place. It was almost impossible not to step on a duck and although they tried t...
|
dave06
|
1
|
1083
|
|
|
|
|
Talking Dog
(Preview)
A chap sees a sign advertising: "Talking Dog - $50". He knocks on the door and asks if he can see the dog, "sure" says the owner and calls the dog and leaves the room. " So you can talk" says the chap "Sure" says the dog "That is amazing - where did you learn...
|
Basil Faulty
|
4
|
1311
|
|
|
|
|
Careful of the country cops
(Preview)
|
NannyMon
|
3
|
1382
|
|
|
|
|
Duck, flu and Obama and Eclesiastic jokes
(Preview)
Donald Duck goes on a dirty weekend but forgets his condoms. He calls down to reception, asks for a pack of three. Reception asks shall I put them on your bill? Donald replies, "Don't be bloody stupid, I'll suffocate".... It was once said a black man would be president when pigs fl...
|
Basil Faulty
|
2
|
1364
|
|
|
|
|
Old Dogs!!!
(Preview)
One day the old German shepherd starts chasing rabbits and before long, discovers that he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch. The old German shepherd thinks, "Oh, oh! I'm in deep doo-doo now!" Noticing som...
|
Pickles
|
1
|
1313
|
|
|
