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A man living in North Dakota..
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A man living in North Dakota, woke up one morning and realised there was a Grizzly Bear on the roof.He looked up Bear removalist's in the Yellow pages - Dialled the closest one and asked him to come and get thee Bear.The removalist turned up in a rusty old truck with a cage on the back.He had a ladder, a base...
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I used to think..
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I used to think I was just a regular person, but I was born white, which now, whether I like it or not, makes me a racist.I am a fiscal and moral conservative, which by today's standards, makes me a fascist.I am heterosexual, which now makes me a homophobe.I was christened by my parents (who were married,...
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Wife..
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The local mosque
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The other day a local mosque opened its doors and invited non-Muslims to visit in the spirit of their faith's willingness to be open and welcoming.So I too decided to go to the local mosque at Lakemba in western Sydney for the first time to see what it was all about. Lakemba has a large Muslim population,...
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Spare parts..
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Oops..
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Advice..
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Refugees..
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Refugees..
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What..
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What..
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Who loves you more..
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Who loves you more, Your wife or your dog?If you really want to know - Lock them both in the boot of your car.Then let them out after an hour or so, ThenSee who's happy to see you.
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Amazingly simple home remedies:
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1. Avoid cutting yourself whilst slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold the vegetables while you chop.2. Avoid arguments with females about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink.3. For high blood pressure sufferers ~ simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing th...
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Our Government..
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Scientists at CERN in Geneva have announced the discovery of the HEAVIEST element yet known to science.AND yes ... it was discovered in Australia, which is now the leading producer.The new element is Governmentium (Gv). It has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons and 198 assista...
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Donate!!!
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Wife; "I have a huge bag of clothing that I would like to donate to Salvo's".Husband: "Why not just throw it into the trash? It's much easier."Wife; "But there are poor starving people that could use these clothes".Husband: "Honey, anyone that fits into your clothing is not starving".************...
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A Miracle
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Southern Cruizer
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A poor Sole
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67HR
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Limited Hearing
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Southern Cruizer
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RETARDED GRANDPARENTS..
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RETARDED GRANDPARENTS - (this was actually reported by a teacher)After Christmas, a teacher asked her young pupils how they spent their holiday away from school.One child wrote the following:We always used to spend the holidays with Grandma and Grandpa.They used to live in a big brick house but Gr...
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RETARDED GRANDPARENTS..
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RETARDED GRANDPARENTS - (this was actually reported by a teacher)After Christmas, a teacher asked her young pupils how they spent their holiday away from school.One child wrote the following:We always used to spend the holidays with Grandma and Grandpa.They used to live in a big brick house but Gr...
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