Just Joking

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

A U.S. Marine Colonel was about to start the morning briefing to his staff.While waiting for the coffee machine to finish brewing, the colonel decided to pose a question to all assembled.He explained that his wife had been a bit frisky the night before and he failed to get his usual amount of sound slee...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Paddy staggered home very late after another evening with his drinking buddy, Mick. He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife. He tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their upstairs bedroom but misjudged the bottom step.As he caught himself by grabbing the bannister, his b...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

A really huge muscular guy with a bad stutter goes to a counter in a department store and asks "W-w-w-where's the m-m-m-men's dep-p-p-partment?"The clerk behind the counter just looks at him and says nothing.The man repeats himself: "W-w-w-where's the m-m-m-men's dep-p-p-partment?"Again, th...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

The newly-married husband came home from the office to find his young wife in floods of tears. "Darling, whatever is the matter?" he asks. "Sweetheart" she sobs "the most terrible thing has happened! I cooked my very first Beef Bourguignon for you, and I got it out the oven to season it, and the phone ra...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Three Little Pigs went out to dinner one night.The waiter comes and takes their drink order.I would like a Sprite, said the first little piggy.I would like a Coke, said the second little piggy.I want water, lots and lots of water, said the third little piggy.The drinks are brought out and the waiter ta...

dorian · dorian

Not to make light of the situation, but I found it amusing that the target of a racial slur was reported by the ABC to be of "Kiwi and Samoan heritage". New Zealand abandons soccer friendly with Qatar mid-game after allegations of racism towards Michael Boxall: [url]https://www.abc.net.au/news/...

anolphart · anolphart

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

anolphart · anolphart

A small boy was lost at the beach, so he went up to a lifeguard and said, "I've lost my dad! The lifeguard said, "What's he like? The little boy replied, "Beer and women!"

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Bobdown · Bobdown

Put up or shut up......... https://vm.tiktok.com/ZSLMM4Adc/

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

It was entertainment night at the Senior Citizens' Center.After the community sing along led by Alice at the piano, it was time for the star of the show, Claude the Hypnotist!Claude explained that he was going to put the entire audience into a trance."Yes, each and every one of you - all at the same time...

anolphart · anolphart

A small business owner was dismayed when a brand new corporate chain much like his own opened up next door and erected a huge sign which read BEST DEALS PERIOD. He was horrified when another competitor opened up on his right, and announced its arrival with an even larger sign, reading LOWEST PRICES GU...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

I became confused when I heard the word "Service" used with these agencies:Australian Tax Office 'Service'Australia Post 'Service'Telephone Companies 'Service'Cable TV 'Service'Power Company'Service'Federal,State, &Council, Public 'Service'Customer 'Service'Centrelink 'Ser...

anolphart · anolphart

Sister Catherine was asking all the Catholic school children in fourth grade what they want to be when they grow up. Little Sheila said, "When I grow up, I want to be a prostitute!" Sister Catherine's eyes grow wide and she barked, "What did you say?!" "A prostitute!" Sheila exclaimed. Sister Cat...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

What time does the store open?The manager of a liquor store gets a midnight phone call at home: "Hello!" "At what time does the store open?" "At ten o'clock sir". At two in the morning, the phone rings again: "HELLO!" "Ya (burp), at what time does, euh, the store open?" "AT TEN IN THE MORNING, sir". Again...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	What percentage? (Preview) A U.S. Marine Colonel was about to start the morning briefing to his staff.While waiting for the coffee machine to finish brewing, the colonel decided to pose a question to all assembled.He explained that his wife had been a bit frisky the night before and he failed to get his usual amount of sound slee...	aussie_paul	2	1078	11:58 AM Jun 22, 2023 by Stretch60
	Paddy staggered home... (Preview) Paddy staggered home very late after another evening with his drinking buddy, Mick. He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife. He tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their upstairs bedroom but misjudged the bottom step.As he caught himself by grabbing the bannister, his b...	aussie_paul	0	469	11:16 AM Jun 22, 2023 by aussie_paul
	Stutter (Preview) A really huge muscular guy with a bad stutter goes to a counter in a department store and asks "W-w-w-where's the m-m-m-men's dep-p-p-partment?"The clerk behind the counter just looks at him and says nothing.The man repeats himself: "W-w-w-where's the m-m-m-men's dep-p-p-partment?"Again, th...	aussie_paul	0	483	11:14 AM Jun 22, 2023 by aussie_paul
	Newlyweds.. (Preview) The newly-married husband came home from the office to find his young wife in floods of tears. "Darling, whatever is the matter?" he asks. "Sweetheart" she sobs "the most terrible thing has happened! I cooked my very first Beef Bourguignon for you, and I got it out the oven to season it, and the phone ra...	aussie_paul	0	422	11:12 AM Jun 22, 2023 by aussie_paul
	Pigs in a restaurant. (Preview) Three Little Pigs went out to dinner one night.The waiter comes and takes their drink order.I would like a Sprite, said the first little piggy.I would like a Coke, said the second little piggy.I want water, lots and lots of water, said the third little piggy.The drinks are brought out and the waiter ta...	aussie_paul	0	745	01:32 PM Jun 21, 2023 by aussie_paul
	I thought kiwis were birds (Preview) Not to make light of the situation, but I found it amusing that the target of a racial slur was reported by the ABC to be of "Kiwi and Samoan heritage". New Zealand abandons soccer friendly with Qatar mid-game after allegations of racism towards Michael Boxall: [url]https://www.abc.net.au/news/...	dorian	0	678	11:41 AM Jun 20, 2023 by dorian
	Dolly and Ruby (Preview)	anolphart	1	701	05:04 PM Jun 19, 2023 by Southern Cruizer
	Love... (Preview)	aussie_paul	0	734	05:36 PM Jun 18, 2023 by aussie_paul
	Lost boy (Preview) A small boy was lost at the beach, so he went up to a lifeguard and said, "I've lost my dad! The lifeguard said, "What's he like? The little boy replied, "Beer and women!"	anolphart	0	681	09:00 PM Jun 17, 2023 by anolphart
	Back in the day.. (Preview)	aussie_paul	0	735	12:46 PM Jun 17, 2023 by aussie_paul
	Rent a crowd... (Preview) Put up or shut up......... https://vm.tiktok.com/ZSLMM4Adc/	Bobdown	2	908	11:07 AM Jun 17, 2023 by peter67
	Mums... (Preview)	aussie_paul	1	764	04:20 PM Jun 16, 2023 by Possum3
	Hurting, suffering and loss... (Preview)	aussie_paul	0	612	11:59 AM Jun 16, 2023 by aussie_paul
	GIGGLE - (Preview) It was entertainment night at the Senior Citizens' Center.After the community sing along led by Alice at the piano, it was time for the star of the show, Claude the Hypnotist!Claude explained that he was going to put the entire audience into a trance."Yes, each and every one of you - all at the same time...	aussie_paul	0	673	11:47 AM Jun 16, 2023 by aussie_paul
	Small business (Preview) A small business owner was dismayed when a brand new corporate chain much like his own opened up next door and erected a huge sign which read BEST DEALS PERIOD. He was horrified when another competitor opened up on his right, and announced its arrival with an even larger sign, reading LOWEST PRICES GU...	anolphart	0	645	09:08 PM Jun 15, 2023 by anolphart
	Service Agencies ? Confusing !! (Preview) I became confused when I heard the word "Service" used with these agencies:Australian Tax Office 'Service'Australia Post 'Service'Telephone Companies 'Service'Cable TV 'Service'Power Company'Service'Federal,State, &Council, Public 'Service'Customer 'Service'Centrelink 'Ser...	aussie_paul	1	622	07:51 PM Jun 15, 2023 by yobarr
	Choosing a career (Preview) Sister Catherine was asking all the Catholic school children in fourth grade what they want to be when they grow up. Little Sheila said, "When I grow up, I want to be a prostitute!" Sister Catherine's eyes grow wide and she barked, "What did you say?!" "A prostitute!" Sheila exclaimed. Sister Cat...	anolphart	0	577	06:09 PM Jun 15, 2023 by anolphart
	What time does the store open? (Preview) What time does the store open?The manager of a liquor store gets a midnight phone call at home: "Hello!" "At what time does the store open?" "At ten o'clock sir". At two in the morning, the phone rings again: "HELLO!" "Ya (burp), at what time does, euh, the store open?" "AT TEN IN THE MORNING, sir". Again...	aussie_paul	0	621	04:27 PM Jun 15, 2023 by aussie_paul
	Ok everyone.... (Preview)	aussie_paul	0	471	04:25 PM Jun 15, 2023 by aussie_paul
	Life is too short.... (Preview)	aussie_paul	0	527	04:21 PM Jun 15, 2023 by aussie_paul
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