My father was a good one for putting people in their place who he thought weren't pulling their weight with a saying "Your about as Useful as an ashtray on a motorbike"

What about my dad
First thing Monday morning, I am half asleep in bed, about to get up and in he storms

"Whats this, still in bed, do you know that the day after tomorrow is Wednesday, middle of the week, and you have nothing done yet!!!"

did you hear about the gay cowboy................. rode in to town and shot up the sherriff!!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on.