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Post Info TOPIC: CREDIT CRUNCH
sgntbilko


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Posts: 181
Date:
CREDIT CRUNCH
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CREDIT CRUNCH.



Dear employees,


Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown of economy, Management has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 40 years of age and above on early retirement. This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).





Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to management to be eligible for the SHAFT scheme (Special Help After Forced Termination). Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW programme (Scheme Covering Retired Early Workers). A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as Management deems appropriate.


Persons who have been RAPED can only get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependants & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance).


Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by Management.


Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much **** (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. Management has always prided itself on the amount of **** it gives employees. Should you feel that you do not receive enough ****, please bring to the attention of your Supervisor. They have been trained to give you all the **** you can handle.


Sincerely,


The Management





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Someone said,  "Cheer up, things could be worse."    So I cheered up and things got worse.
dave06


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now that I believe!!!!!!!!!!!!

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 me, the dragon, & little blue,  never stop playing, live long,  laugh lots, travel far, give a stranger a smile, might just be your next best freind.  try to commit a random act of kindness everyday

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Wombat 280


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Date:
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Been there and got it all but they still want to get at ya .

Good One

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