Waynes new rules...

Basil Faulty · Guru

RE: Waynes new rules...

Basil Faulty · Guru

dave06 wrote:

well I happen to know that the native algebreerians cant understand him either, thats how we ended up with him!!

if you dont know where algebree is well it is just off tomquat and as we all know tomquat is full of oomedoodle birds, never heard of the oomedoodle bird well let me explain

the oomedoodle bird is a strange little quirk of nature, seems they are all born without any legs so when they come in to land the male oomedoodle bird calls out "OOOMEEDOODLE, OOOMEEDOODLE, OOMEEDOODLE" as they bounce across the land

Oh yeah Dave, just like the Bush Thick knees that inhabit northern climes they are colloquially called ORGASM BIRDS because their call usually in the wee small hours is "OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES"

Basil Faulty · Guru

I think it is amazing that a topic that Ibbo says was of no interest to us GN's has got into it's second page - must be something I said......

Basil Faulty · Guru

I notice today after Swan's new rules to let share holders decide the degree of obscenity of these payouts that the CEO looking after my dwindling Super has just helped himself to an early retirement package and a mere 33 million.... IT SUCKS, but at least I know here my money went .

dave06 · Guru

ah cremation the final insurance,

at the funeral for his wife an old man sat silently, upon the final prayer the pall bearers arose and carefully took the coffin outside but on the way out they hit the doorjam, whereupon a moaning was heard from inside the coffin,

upon opening the coffin they found to all onlookers astonishment that she was indeed alive and well, she went on to live another ten years, whereupon she died (again)

the old man sat silently through the second funeral, upon the final prayer the pall bearers once more arose and with great care proceeded to take the coffin to the hearse, upon seeing this unfolding again the old man jumped up on his seat and excitedly shouted...................................................... "WATCH THAT BLOODY DOORJAM THIS TIME"

what was the topic Basil, no interest to me whatever it was anyway!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ibbo · Guru

The mind boggles.it will be the Ubangis next.hey what about the favourite old truckies keep awake thingy....Vincent powder and a coke.After that it was Duromine 40 tablets.

ibbo · Guru

Basil.I stand corrected,shame,shame.yes mate you sure started something.Cheers.Ibbo. disbelief

mike and Judy · Guru

Just a little aside here,
A question,What happens to all the artifical things we get fitted when we are cremated,
Did you give this any thought Bas

dave06 · Guru

they get recycled, artificial hips and knees are reused, legs, arms etc are sent overseas (just a holiday you understand, they enjoy the break HAH!!! HAH!!!) eyes get overlooked though, noses get the sniff over,......................................... I'll just go over to my corner shall I.

PeterH · Veteran Member

DEEP...DEEP......Deep......
I have a head ache from all this thought provoking stuff, way too much to ponder for a simple soul like me......not beer or wine influenced, I can assure you...This far into happy hour(s).
Give me another wine...I might start to understand.
Alcohol seems to give some people insight into things they had no idea off two beers/wines ago - me included biggrin

LOL........

mike and Judy · Guru

Heh Heh Heh Heh ,
way back,--------- at least a few years ago,------ it was the green weed that gave me the power of thought provoking stuff like the above, now the occasional beer on a hot day just cools me down and wipes the dust away
dont touch that sour pink and white stuff

Basil Faulty · Guru

dave06 wrote:

they get recycled, artificial hips and knees are reused, legs, arms etc are sent overseas (just a holiday you understand, they enjoy the break HAH!!! HAH!!!) eyes get overlooked though, noses get the sniff over,......................................... I'll just go over to my corner shall I.

Oh no Dave not the CORNER..... This throws the points for yet another tangential discussion..... So say if like me you are an organ donor and bits of your body get infact recycled what happens to your soul, does it get split up and bits of it stay with the donated bits? And say you donate your body to science, what goes in the coffin and how come they charge to cremate and bury you?

ibbo · Guru

Basil you are now into geometry with tangical talk.I wonder when a soul becomes a Spirit.Oh well back to my basket weaving.Cheers.Ibbo

Cruising Granny · Guru

Once again the subject turns to sex(oomeedoodle) . Typical blokes!
I just love this site. The smiles and valuable information I derive from GN never cease to amaze me.
But come on you guys, have a cup of tea and a lie down.
You all have too much time on your hands, I think.
Cheers from "lost soul" Granny.

Rolly · Guru

Cruising Granny wrote:

Once again the subject turns to sex(oomeedoodle) . Typical blokes!
I just love this site. The smiles and valuable information I derive from GN never cease to amaze me.
But come on you guys, have a cup of tea and a lie down.
You all have too much time on your hands, I think.
Cheers from "lost soul" Granny.

It's "hard wired" into the male brain, CG, you should know that by now. wink

Something to do with the propagation of the species, I believe.
When a bloke stops thinking about sex, you know that he's lost interest in life. biggrin

twobob · Guru

Well I am a sworn member of the Fugarewie tribe, of Central Australia.

Right now and reading this thread, I am reminded of that fact

Where the "fug are we" on this subject

Granny - I do not think its time that he has in his hand, not even close, but I will not mention the object for fear of offending - feeding the chooks are we, fellows?

dave06 · Guru

ah!! the fugarewe tribe, yes quite forgotten about the pygmie tribe of central australia, constantly getting lost in the long grass and that unmistakeable call............................................. "WHERETHEFUGAREWE"

granny thats the only reason I'm still here,

took a look at a couple of other sites and the bitchin and bloody knowalls (who know nothing) giving advice about that which they have never done

just as an example on one "tech forum" on a very well respected site one fellow was advising another fellow that the left hand side wheel bearing rear seal was stronger than the right hand side and the right hand side did not need a seal because it was always "uphill because the oil in the diff didnt get up there to run out"

the fellow was arguing strongly on this, just shook my head and got out, shame it looked to have been a good site before being taken over by fools

two bob, someone said this post would not go very far, now I hate being told things like that soooooooooooooo..........................................

-- Edited by dave06 on Sunday 22nd of March 2009 09:31:53 AM

Basil Faulty · Guru

Rolly wrote:

Cruising Granny wrote:

Once again the subject turns to sex(oomeedoodle) . Typical blokes!
I just love this site. The smiles and valuable information I derive from GN never cease to amaze me.
But come on you guys, have a cup of tea and a lie down.
You all have too much time on your hands, I think.
Cheers from "lost soul" Granny.

It's "hard wired" into the male brain, CG, you should know that by now.
Something to do with the propagation of the species, I believe.
When a bloke stops thinking about sex, you know that he's lost interest in life.

Yep sure is even us Geriatric Grey Nomads long past any possible impregnation still think about SEX. I remember the glorious days of my youth with great rellish, do you honestly think I vollunteerd at the Surf Club to save lives? Oh no far more pragmatic reason than that, it was all the surfie groupie girls who use to love getting our red and yellow hats off and the Dances on Saturday nights - & we all know what effect dancing has on females..........

Females on the other hand do not have to carry this burden for the term of their natural lives, once they can survive men o' pause then they can get on with life without even the mere thought of having to be "interesting" to males as they know all us 60+ males are only after the 20 something bimbos.....
Us blokes do really get the rough end of the pineapple at times....

Of course this is of no interest to Ibbo....

Roostertales · Senior Member

Holy sh ***ite this must be the longest thread ever .all hail ceasar for starting.

However

Roostertales · Senior Member

Absolutely no idea what hapened there ... As I was about to say .... however I believe that soemthin exists in the afterlife irrespective of mass or weight.

How can we experince all of life and then nothing ?

There must be a great big caravan park in the sky where it's always happy hour and the sun shines etc.

On the other hand hell exists for those who have not reached our GN status and nirvana.

Friends - money does not buy health or happiness - I learnt this to my own misfortune. Having been a CEO and heart attack at 50.

Now northing is more important than wife (22 years )and family. Unfortunately I have to confess they came a poor 3rd and 4 th when I was of that ilk.

I submit myself for judgement and hopefully forgiveness from the forum in general.

I am truly reformed brothers and sisters

Basil Faulty · Guru

Roostertales wrote:

Absolutely no idea what hapened there ... As I was about to say .... however I believe that soemthin exists in the afterlife irrespective of mass or weight.

How can we experince all of life and then nothing ?

There must be a great big caravan park in the sky where it's always happy hour and the sun shines etc.

On the other hand hell exists for those who have not reached our GN status and nirvana.

Friends - money does not buy health or happiness - I learnt this to my own misfortune. Having been a CEO and heart attack at 50.

Now northing is more important than wife (22 years )and family. Unfortunately I have to confess they came a poor 3rd and 4 th when I was of that ilk.

I submit myself for judgement and hopefully forgiveness from the forum in general.

I am truly reformed brothers and sisters

I am not convinced, maybe that is because I belive Darwins hypothesies rather than the biblical version of events. Now you can be a strong Christian, live your life by Christain Ideals and not be religious, religiousness does not determine christian ideals in a word NO Christians do not have to be church goers. Base this on a simple example, am I not a Christian? Do I not conduct myself with Christian beliefs, Do I not support the Rev Fred Nile in his campaigns to stamp out such un Christian behaviour as homosexuality and prostitution? Do I not take Gracie to visit the sick, infirm and elderly and is that not a Christian act ? Absolutely I do but I don't go to church. You can be a strong Christian with out being a religious person. There in is the definition, religious people go to the church or place of worship to pray and receive spiritual guidance where as Christians have these Christian beliefs imparted in their bringing up.

Of course this is only my opinion, I have indeed ask the question "Is death the end?" weirdly no one can answer. Yet I do believe in Ghosts and extraterrestrial life as I belive that to assume that Earth is the only inhabited planet in the universe is niave....
So where does this get us?

ibbo · Guru

Basil I think the answer to your question is that we will never know in our lifetime.My personal belief is dead is dead.As I have said that is my idea of things.I have no wish to upset in anyway other folks leanings................See what you started?.Made a right Nana out of me havent you?.On the other hand the amount of pleaure has been great.(Whoa)no puns about hands and pleasure was intended.CheersIbbo.

Basil Faulty · Guru

ibbo wrote:

Basil I think the answer to your question is that we will never know in our lifetime.My personal belief is dead is dead.As I have said that is my idea of things.I have no wish to upset in anyway other folks leanings................See what you started?.Made a right Nana out of me havent you?.On the other hand the amount of pleaure has been great.(Whoa)no puns about hands and pleasure was intended.CheersIbbo.

Dead is Dead, yes absolutlrey but a law of physics states that you can neither create or destroy matter, and a guy I swim with was telling me that the process of cremation releases the soul and that the soul cannot be released untill one is completley decomposed so that those who prefer to be embalmed on death will be, as suggested by another contributor, in limbo until complete decomposition takes place thus releasing the soul. He also explained that Souls have existed from the times of the true ancients who belived that the soul survived after death and those folk had no biblical knowledge on which to base that idea. So if we presume that Souls exist how do we quantify them? how heavy is a soul and how much space does it take up. Well popular rersearch on Souls suggests that a persons soul takes up the same space as a persons Aura. Also there are wealthy and "poor souls" ie those involved in the sinking of the Titanic were "poor souls' despite all being mainly from wealthy personages who could afford the fare. So in death you loose your social status and your ego suffers as well so we can extrapolate that even though some people have egos big enough to jump over their soul is just like the rest of us.

dave06 · Guru

ah now it all depends on which religion one belongs to as to when a soul departs the premises, it has been said by many knowledgable people that a soul can be observed departing the body imediately after death, supposedly caught exiting through the mouth on camera at one stage

I dont know, however I have had a couple of dealings with the after life, my father had to have a triple bypass back in the 80's when it was not so routine as it is today, he died twice and recovered I asked him if there was anything there he just stated absolute blackness but no pain, nothing there, he died again soon after that and was unable to be revived, a good man gone forever, one of lifes true gentlemen

but he had a memory after death even though he was supposedly dead, brain malfunction well no, the doctors stated that could not be,

I am not religious, I beleive in following the teachings of christianity as in the ten commandments as so many of us older genration are but I do not bother god over my misgivings and daily failings certainly do not attend church, if god exists then she is everywhere and not just in a church

I had a massive seizure about 10 years ago I died on the pavement at the side of our house, I didnt know, all I seen were great swathes of green grass over rolling hills heading into enormous forests of fine timbers with bright blue skys and animals, birds and flowers, and a peacefullness that I have never been able to find again, I was revived within the allotted time but I did not want to come back I was "summoned" on ward by some magnetic force, I was "dead" for some 4 minutes

now I dont know if I seen heaven or not but death holds no fear for me anymore

however I do know for a fact that ghosts exist, never used to but I have seen things and heard things that cannot be explained, our first rental farm house was and still is haunted

ibbo · Guru

Sometimes after reading replies from Basil and/or Dave they make me realise just how many things that I should know about but dont.I thank you both for doing something that my bloody school teachers couldnt and that is to make me think that perhaps there are folk who are smarter than me.I should say realise not think .Cheers.Ibbo.

dave06 · Guru

not smarter mate, we just like to yak about different things, as we all do around any campfire all over the joint, doesnt make us smarter than the next person

Basil Faulty · Guru

ibbo wrote:

Sometimes after reading replies from Basil and/or Dave they make me realise just how many things that I should know about but dont.I thank you both for doing something that my bloody school teachers couldnt and that is to make me think that perhaps there are folk who are smarter than me.I should say realise not think .Cheers.Ibbo.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh Ibbo now that is not the case, we are all equal but some of us just need a little push. Now don't tell anyone but my object all sublime I shall achieve in time is to get you cobbers and cobberetts to start thinking latteraly as there is very strong medical evidence that lateral thinkers, ie those who can mull over a problem and come up with a solution that is way out of the box will be the ones who Gracie & I won't get to visit in nursing homes suffering from DEMENTIA.

So you see that my insane ravings have a purpose that being to assuage my ego and to try and get people THINKING rather than sitting in their corner getting depressed. It matters not what you think about but it's like everything involved with the ageing process and the brain is most susceptible. If you stop using it then DEMENTIA will follow as night follows day.
But don't let on, keep this between us OK? And feel free to chat about anything, and if you want people to read your posts put the word SEX somewhere in the title because even those who hate sex will still read the post.....
Ie "Sexy Tyres for a 4X4" will get more responses and get more thought than leaving out the sexy bit....

Tyre it you will see I don't have a forked tounge Kimosabi

suenami · Senior Member

Oh, Xina, don't they make Bex anymore?

dave06 · Guru

hmmm!!! over 400 observers of this post and two pages, what was it the imortal baird was claimed to have stated ..........................

"MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING"..................kinda says it all!!!

may the great spirit lift you in whichever direction it is that your religion lies.

peace to all travellers black, white or brindle

"SUCH IS LIFE"

Basil Faulty · Guru

What was this thread about again?