No.1 Italian Garden

An old Italianman lived alone in the country.He wanted to dig his tomato garden,but it was very hard work as the ground was hard.His only son,Vincent, who used to help him,was in prison.The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament.


 Dear Vincent,
I am feeling pretty bad because it looksl ike I will be unable to plant my tomato garden this year.I'mjust getting too oldto be digging up a garden plot. If you were here ,I know you dig the plot for me.
Love Dad.

A few days later he received a letter from his son.

 Dear Dad,
Don't dig up that garden.That's where I buried the BODIES.
Love, Vinnie.

At 4 a.m. the next morning..FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies.They apologised to the old man and left.Thjat same day the old man received another letter from his son.
 

 Dear Dad,
Go ahaed and plant the tomatoes now.That's the best I could do under the circumstances.
Love,Vinnie

No. 2 Lulu

Lulu was a prostitute, but she didn;t want her grandma to know. One day, the police raided the brothel and took all the girls outside and made them line up. Suddenly,Lulu's grandma came by.

Grandma asked,"Why are you standing in line here,dear?"
Not willing to let her grandma know the truth, Lulu told her that the police were passing out free oranges and she was just lining up for some
.
'Why,that's awfully nice of them.I think I'll get some for myself."Grandma said, and she proceeded to the end of the line.
A policeman was going down the line asking for information from all the prostitutes.
When he got to Grandma he, bewildered,exclaimed."Wow,still going at it at your age?How do you do it old girl?
Grandma replied,"Oh,it's easy, dear.I just take  my dentures out, rip the skin back and suck 'em'dry.
The policeman fainted.


No. 3 A night out

Two women go out one weekend without their husbands.As they came back,right before dawn,both of them drunk,they felt the urge to pee.They noticed the only place to stop was a cemetery.Scared and drunk,they stopped and decided to go there anyway.
The first one did not have anything to clean herself with, so she took off her panties and used them to clean herself and discarded them.

The second one not finding anything either,thought"I'm not getting rid of my panties..."so she used the ribbon af a flower wreath to clean herself.

The morning after,the two husbands were talking to each other on the phone,and one says to the other:
"We have to be on the look-out,it seems that these two were up to no good last night,my wife came home without her panties..."
The other on responded:"You're lucky,mine came home with a card stuck to her ass that read,"We will never forget you."