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Post Info TOPIC: New Financial terms
Basil Faulty


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New Financial terms
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  New Stock Market Terms

                    CEO-Chief Embezzlement Officer

                      CFO- Corporate Fraud Officer

  BULL MARKET -A random market movement causing an investor to mistake
                    himself for a financial genius

 BEAR MARKET -a 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the
          wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.

       VALUE INVESTING -The art of buying low and selling lower.

 P/E RATIO-The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market
                            keeps crashing.

             BROKER-What my financial planner has made me.

               STANDARD & POOR-Your life in a nutshell.

          STOCK ANALYST-Idiot who just downgraded your stock.

 STOCK SPLIT-When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally
                          between themselves.

            MARKET CORRECTION -The day after you buy stocks.

CASH FLOW -The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.

 YAHOO-What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per
                                share.

 WINDOWS-What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought Yahoo at
                            $240 per share.

  INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR-Past year investor who's now locked up in a
                               nuthouse.

                PROFIT-an archaic word no longer in use.

                       #     #     #     #     #

         If you had purchased $1000 of shares in Delta Airlines
               one year ago, you will have $49.00 today.

              If you had purchased $1000 of shares in AIG
               one year ago, you will have $33.00 today.

        If you had purchased $1000 of shares in Lehman Brothers
               one year ago, you will have $0.00 today.

           But---- if you had purchased $1000 worth of beer
                  one year ago, drank all the beer,
        then turned in the aluminum cans for recycling refund,
                   you will have received $214.00.

         Based on the above, the best current investment plan,
                    is to drink heavily & recycle.
                       It's called the   401-Keg.

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dave06


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I'll drink to that!!!!!!!

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little grey hen


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ROFL .... smile.gifsmile.gif

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