WARNING; DON'T "DE-SPOONERISE" IF NAUGHTY WORDS OFFEND!
In Memory Of A Great Man, The Late Ronnie Barker
This was originally shown on BBC TV back in the seventies. Ronnie Barker could say all this without a sn igger (though god knows how many takes). Irony is that they received not one complaint. The speed of delivery must have been too much for the whining herds. Try getting through it without converting the spoonerisms [and not wetting your pants] as you read ...
This is the story of Rindercella and her sugly isters.
Rindercella and her sugly isters lived in a marge lansion. Rindercella worked very hard frubbing sloors, emptying poss pits, and shivelling shot.
At the end of the day, she was knucking fackered.
The sugly isters were right bugly astards. One was called Mary Hinge, and the other was called Betty Swallocks; they were really forrible huckers; they had fetty sweet and fetty swannies. The sugly isters had tickets to go to the ball, but the cotton runts would not let Rindercella go.
Suddenly there was a bucking fang, and her gairy fodmother appeared. Her name was Shairy Hithole and she was a light rucking fesbian. She turned a pumpkin and six mite wice into a hucking cuge farriage with six dandy ronkeys who had buge hollocks and dig bicks
The gairy fodmother told Rindercella to be back by didmight otherwise, there would be a cucking falamity.
At the ball, Rindercella was dancing with the prandsome hince when suddenly the clock struck twelve. "Fhrist all mucking crighty!!!" said Rindercella, and she ran out tripping barse over ollocks, and so dropping her slass glipper.
The very next day the prandsome hince knocked on Rindercella's door And the sugly isters let him in. Suddenly, Betty Swallocks lifted her leg and let off a fig bart. "Who's fust jarted??" asked the prandsome hince.
"Blame that fugly ucker over there!!" said Mary Hinge. When the stinking brown cloud had lifted, he tried the slass glipper on both the sugly isters without success and their feet stucking funk.
Betty Swallocks was ducking gisdusted and gave the prandsome hince a knack in the kickers. This was not difficult as he had bucking fuge halls and a hig bard on.
He tried the slass glipper on Rindercella and it fitted pucking ferfectly.
Rindercella and the prandsome hince were married. The pransome hince lived his life in lucking fuxury, and Rindercella lived hers with a follen swanny.
-- Edited by jimricho on Sunday 25th of October 2009 08:18:33 PM
Yes we do still have censors. They are the Thought Police, the nanny state socialists who want to control every aspect of our lives.
Dave is right it wouldn't get past the censors today, not because of the naughty words when de-spoonerised but because it would allegedly offend someone with a speech impediment.
I heard the other day on Radio National that the BBC have a panel that checks their programs to make sure that no one is offended. That is no one with the same PC views as theirs.
Explains the death of good spontaneous comedy, risque or otherwise.
The Thought Police vermin have also infested activeboard.com (hosts of the forum part of this website). I had to edit the original post because it blitzed out the word S N I G G E R. I had to spell it sn igger. The naughty words were fine but not sn igger (without the space)
If Krudd gets his way with his internet censorship proposal this will be a taste of things to come.
By the way Dave can let me know the details of that DVD. I'll see if the ABC Shop still stock it.
-- Edited by jimricho on Monday 26th of October 2009 08:12:16 PM
-- Edited by jimricho on Monday 26th of October 2009 08:16:26 PM
I have a collection of the two ronnies from eons ago, it is amongst that in one of the skits, I would see if the abc shop has any series of the two ronnies available, it turned up on a couple of them
