Tiger Woods Holiday Poem

Twas the night of Thanksgiving and out of the house

Tiger Woods came a flyin', chased by his spouse.

She wielded a nine iron and wasn't too merry,

Cause a bimbos phone number was in his Blackberry.

Hed been cheatin' on Elin, and the story progressed.

Woman after woman stepped up and confessed.

Hed been cheatinwith Holly, and Jaimee, and Cori,

WithJoselyn, and Kalika. The world had the story.

From the top of the Tour to the basement of blues,

Tigers sad sordid tale was all over the news.

With hostesses, waitresses, he had lots of sex,

When not in their pants, he was sendin' them texts.

Despite all his cryin and beggin' and pleadin',

Tigers wife went investin' -- a new home in Sweden.

And I heard her exclaim from her white Escalade,

"If youre gettin' laid then Im gettin' paid."

Shes not pouting, in fact, she is of jolly good cheer,

Her prenup made Christmas come early this year.