Does anyone else feel like this??

pauline · Guru

Does anyone else feel like this??

goinsoon · Guru

Strange but since I have been on steroids ( low dose ) I have been feeling fantastic, since the pain has gone, so has the depression wink

Boroma577 · Guru

pauline wrote:
Every now and then I just feel very down, felt okay laid down for a nanny nap and geez when I woke up felt like I had lost the joy of life.......I know when I get up in the morning I will be fine, just wondered if you all have days like this for no reason.

I am sure we all have days like this Pauline....I know I do.

pauline · Guru

It is so hard to explain and tomorrow I will wonder what I was going on about.........

blaze · Guru

If you domt have a bad day sometime you will never know the joy of a great day, try and make the joyous days number more than the bad ones, thats life
cheers
blaze

Boroma577 · Guru

pauline wrote:
It is so hard to explain and tomorrow I will wonder what I was going on about.........

Not to those of us who have been there too Pauline.

You've already won half the battle by recognising it and knowing you will move on from it.

Happywanderer · The Master

Know what you mean Pauline. Tomorrows another day.

milo · Guru

ive had a rough few weeks, just seems to roll on and on..but i just take one day at a time..

Elle on Wheels · Guru

It happens mate. life can be quite scarey at times and I don't think it's unusual to have a bit of a reality check from time to time. Having a nap during the day can bring on the heebie jeebies. I never feel good after a nap and no matter how tired I feel try to hang out for night time.

jimricho · Guru

Go for a walk Pauline...At least 3 - 5kms.... Go alone and walk at a pace you're comfortable with but don't stroll, walk properly. It'll work wonders for those blues (it does for me)...as good as any medication in my humble opinion. Don't lie down it'll make it worse (note Elle's comments above)

(Dr. Jim at your service wink , exorbitant consultation fee to follow! biggrin )

PS: In all seriousness, be honest with yourself if you feel you need professional help, seek it.

pauline · Guru

So it is another day and as I said in my OP I feel fine today as I knew I would, I guess it was just a case of the blues, want to be out there on the road and living, but is just not possible at the moment as hubby is not ready to give up his horses just yet. I do wonder at times if he ever will be, which I think yesterday was all about, just have to hang in there for now and hope he doesn't leave it too late as so often happens. We have had our latest van for 15 months now and only spent 3 weeks in it, sometimes just feel like selling it and then it wouldn't be sitting there calling out to be used, maybe what I should do is stay off this forum and stop hearing about everyones travels but it makes me feel so good and reminds me of what I am working towards............whinge over, onwards and upwards.

Gerty Dancer · Guru

Thank heaven tomorrow always comes. I've had times in my life when I'd tell myself "Just get through this hour", its nice to be able to get through whole days!

Rip and Rosie · Guru

Hi Pauline,

Its hard when your heart wants to move and practicalities say sit.

I have a friend who loves her van, but her hubby likes o/s holidays. She has negotiated thus- he gets to go o/s as he wishes but alone, and at the same time she settles herself in the van, usually by the beach. When he comes back he comes and helps her home.

Can you get a week or so away on your own every now and then? Lots of gals make that one work, and it might lift you spirits a bit.

Rosie

JRH · Guru

pauline wrote:
So it is another day and as I said in my OP I feel fine today as I knew I would, I guess it was just a case of the blues, want to be out there on the road and living, but is just not possible at the moment as hubby is not ready to give up his horses just yet. I do wonder at times if he ever will be, which I think yesterday was all about, just have to hang in there for now and hope he doesn't leave it too late as so often happens. We have had our latest van for 15 months now and only spent 3 weeks in it, sometimes just feel like selling it and then it wouldn't be sitting there calling out to be used, maybe what I should do is stay off this forum and stop hearing about everyones travels but it makes me feel so good and reminds me of what I am working towards............whinge over, onwards and upwards.

Talk to hubby and make him understand how you feel but most imortantly keep a positive attidude and you should be fine.

johnq · Guru

Pauline,

What rig do you have? Is it possible for you to do some solo? He could even help you get to a location and set you up for (say) six weeks at a time and take commercial transport back.

You are not alone, my spouse dislikes any holiday that doesn't involve a plane, an apartment and preferably a resort. I am not complaining or judging, however there has to be some compromise and solo caravanning isn't exactly an over-the-top expense nor an unreasonable proposition.

No. I haven't sorted my solution as yet either, which affects options such as the van, so I will leave it to others.

Elle on Wheels · Guru

Pauline, Rosie's got a good point there. It can often happen that partners at at different stages and the trick is to find a practical way to meet both of your needs. I reckon the least practical and effective strategy is to put your needs on hold while waiting for your partner to catch up or come around - one person is frustrated and the other feels pressured.

So why not jump into your beautiful van and go for trips by yourself or with a friend if that's another option, or even look for someone to tag along with.

pauline · Guru

Thanks all, unfortunately our van is a 21 footer and tug is a manual which I don't drive, so no chance of me taking off in it besides this is something we had always planned on doing together and I know he wants to do it, he is just not quite ready so I will just have to cool my heels so to speak................

billeeeeeee · Guru

pauline wrote:
Every now and then I just feel very down, felt okay laid down for a nanny nap and geez when I woke up felt like I had lost the joy of life.......I know when I get up in the morning I will be fine, just wondered if you all have days like this for no reason.

...

Happywanderer · The Master

Pauline, a few good suggestions there.
I find a good walk blows the cobwebs out, for me anyway.
A thought a few of the others have brought up. Get him to take the caravan just far enough away where you can sit by the water for a few weeks. He can come back and get you when you want to go home.
Wanting to get out there can be a bugbear when its taking too long as I can attest to. There's days when I think I will never get on the road like I want but little trips away have been keeping me sane while I iron out all the hiccups.

Happywanderer · The Master

Should have also said. One time when I stayed out at Greens Lake there were two men and a teenager there in a caravan. No car, the wife had taken that home and left them to it. They were happy fishing and enjoying their relaxing holiday.
She came back when they were ready to head home a week or more later, hitched up and everyone happy.

Pejay · Guru

Know exactly where you are coming from Pauline, had 'one of those days' on Saturday - have no idea why, but Sunday was an unrelated day!! I had a fabulous day in my craft room aka Santa's workshop at the moment, and was really really happy - glad Saturday had been and gone!

jimricho · Guru

pauline wrote:
Thanks all, unfortunately our van is a 21 footer and tug is a manual which I don't drive, so no chance of me taking off in it besides this is something we had always planned on doing together and I know he wants to do it, he is just not quite ready so I will just have to cool my heels so to speak................

Have you thought about doing a towing course? Also perhaps having a driving instructor upgrade your manual transmission skills? Both would be a self confidence builder as well as enabling you to share the driving.

A bit off-topic I know but I travel thousands of kilometres each year in the northern "Grey Nomad" season and very rarely see the wife at the wheel of a vehicle towing a van. One exception is friends that I regularly travel with where they do share the driving and the wife also regularly does the backing onto the site at the caravan park and is quite good at it.

Dougwe · Chief one feather

Know the feeling pauline. I check the paper each day and if my name is not in it BONUS

Elle on Wheels · Guru

Have you thought about doing a towing course? Also perhaps having a driving instructor upgrade your manual transmission skills? Both would be a self confidence builder as well as enabling you to share the driving.
A bit off-topic I know but I travel thousands of kilometres each year in the northern "Grey Nomad" season and very rarely see the wife at the wheel of a vehicle towing a van. One exception is friends that I regularly travel with where they do share the driving and the wife also regularly does the backing onto the site at the caravan park and is quite good at it.

Hi Pauline

Jim's got some good points here. It would probably not cost very much to do a manual course and a towing course.

You could take a couple of manual lessons first (you really would not need more if you are an experienced driver) and then spend a few weeks getting used to the manual car. After that you could do a towing course.

Taking a positive and active course of action to address the situation can only be a good thing. And will really boost your confidence.

If the thought of towing a 26 footer is too daunting then there are the other suggested options of getting your hubby to drop you off for short breaks.

And here is another option which might be a bit mad but what about buying a small van or camper which you feel comfortable towing and using that for some solo trips while waiting for your husband to be ready. Vans hold their value to some extent and you can lways sell it again once your husband is ready to hit the road.

beiffe · Guru

You could also buy a smaller van and a car to pull it and drive out the gate and return when the urge has gone. 1 week one year you are still jusst going for a drive.

My partner wanted to spend some time with her daughter etc and then just stay around the general area for ever, and I wanted to travel and see this lovely country so I went for a day drive over 2 years ago. Cant find my way back LOL.

You have to do it while you can. A good friend of mine has just had and aneurism (spelling sorry) at 44 and they wanted to travel. If he wants o stay home then let him but don't waste your live waiting.

Regards
Brian

gypsynolmate · Senior Member

Hi there Pauline, this is my first time on this forum. After reading your notes I would like to say there is light at the end of the tunnel I'm sure. I have been patiently waiting for 7 years for my husband to transform a school bus into a motor home, we are now only a few weeks off he says. Then that brings Christmas into the picture. That is when I feel like you, we are 61 and 65y.o. we have two married children, and they don't feel they need to come to mum and dads for Christmas Day lunch, they go to there partners family every year not alternate. So if we wish to see them, we have to go to there place for tea, then they are tired. I jokingly mentioned to my husband, maybe there are heaps of grey nomads like us, we should arrange a Christmas Day for us all.

Boroma577 · Guru

gypsynolmate wrote:
we should arrange a Christmas Day for us all.

What a great idea.

Ma · Guru

gypsynolmate wrote:
Hi there Pauline, this is my first time on this forum. After reading your notes I would like to say there is light at the end of the tunnel I'm sure. I have been patiently waiting for 7 years for my husband to transform a school bus into a motor home, we are now only a few weeks off he says. Then that brings Christmas into the picture. That is when I feel like you, we are 61 and 65y.o. we have two married children, and they don't feel they need to come to mum and dads for Christmas Day lunch, they go to there partners family every year not alternate. So if we wish to see them, we have to go to there place for tea, then they are tired. I jokingly mentioned to my husband, maybe there are heaps of grey nomads like us, we should arrange a Christmas Day for us all.

The same thing happened at our house. For the past I don't know how many years I have put on a full cooked Christmas dinner for a minimujm 26 people and because my grandaughters want to go to the inlaws fror Christmas Day we have had to have it on Boxing Day.

After last year I WOKE UP!!! They are heaps younger than me and I told them I was over it all and now it was their turns. Didn't happen did it.

So this year we are in Tasmania and plan to have Christmas dinner on the banks of a river or on the seaside and the meal will consist of Ham Sangas and a bottle of bubbly. HEAVEN

pauline · Guru

Happened to us last year too, just the two of us because we didn't want to lug everything to the beach 2 years running so we had it at home on our own, and now am well and truely over the big Xmas thing, though I would like to be doing what your doing Ma............

Boroma577 · Guru

We don't do xmas at all and have not done so for maybe 18 years or so.....to us it's just another day.

The family is just too busy living their own lives so we go camping. Have spent many a year at the beach and often not even realised that xmas day had passed a day or two ago.

Pauline....are you back home already or logging in from elsewhere??