Anxiety re travel

Liventhedream · Veteran Member

Anxiety re travel

Woody46 · Member

John What can we say except luck to you. I travel on my own and am not a real people person but the friendship I find is open and as I want it to be. As long as you keep your base you can go home anytime. May I suggest you do a few short trips and see how you go. Good luck with whatever you decide, John. Travel safely and by the road you decide. Woody46

DMaxer · Guru

Hi John. Anything we try to do for the first time can have its challenges. I travel solo and quite enjoy it. I work some of the time and tour about the rest of the time.

Sometimes just packing up with no real plan, or someone else's plan, can be fun and sometimes it can be confusing and lonely. Perhaps you might just like to start by sitting in your motorhome and just thinking about where you would like to be. If there is nowhere that you really want to go to and you are only doing it because it was a plan of yesterday, then travelling might not be for you. If you can think about places you would like to travel to but feel unsure about missing your partner then that is understandable. Once you make the decision give the places a fair go. Might I suggest that instead of just making whistle stops at many places, find one and pull up stumps for a couple of weeks. Go and find the local library, men's shed, Vinnies, whatever, and offer your services as a volunteer for a couple of hours. You may find that the whole World starts to open up. Everyone has a story to tell and everyone enjoys a good listener.

Don't be rushed, just give your feelings and sorrows a chance to settle. We all go through these times, just some experience them sooner than later.

Look forward to catching up with you on the road somewhere.

aussie_paul · Guru

Hi Liventhedream. Anxiety can be quite debilitating, BUT once you have the first excursion out there hopefully you will relax more and continue your travels as your partner would probably hope you do.

Aussie Paul. smile

brickies · Guru

Try doing small trips close to home and work on going further away has has you feel more comfortable .

Kisha · Senior Member

Hi John, while you allow the anxiety to get the better of you, you won't be going anywhere, come and spend 10 mins with me and believe me anxiety will become a thing of the past, within 10 you will jump into your motor home and be on your way with anxiety to never bother you again. I can out do any long life battery and talk from sunup to sundown. With a smile Kisha.

Panther · Senior Member

Hi Liventhedream,

Thank you for being so honest and open about your feelings. You certainly have an inner strength that maybe you aren't aware of.

The first time or second time I was faced with new decisions, new challenges, new anything, I found there was anxiety attached. What I did initially was stay in a Caravan Park not too far away from the area/town I knew well and when the anxiety level dropped, I would then feel better about facing the next new challenge. Also I visited close friends or relatives at first, until again I felt the anxiety level lower, then once that happened I would hitch up again and move on.

Yes it may take time, but once you have become ok with where you are at emotionally then that gives you the strength to go forward. The camping world will unfold before you and you will go forward with confidence and happiness. I can now camp in Free Camps and just love the feeling of nature wrapping itself around me, the bird sound at dawn and dusk, the beauty of sunsets, the peacefulness of a river flowing past my front door.

You will get there, just small steps at your pace.
I wish you all the very best and keep the communication channels you have opened here on this wonderfully supportive "Solo Nomads" forum going. You will find this a lifeline and friends are only an internet connection away.

hokianga · Senior Member

Panther and others have given very good advice. I can relate a little bit to how you feel, when my husband died in 2012 I bought a motorhome and went travelling with my two dogs, they were a godsend to me, made me get out of bed, take them for walks, etc.
You can drive as long as you like each day, mix caravan parks in with free camping. Sometimes it's better for you to be a bit isolated if you are grieving, you can seek others company in the times you feel a need for it.
Good luck and I sincerely hope you get out and enjoy all the beautiful sights and great people out there in our big country.

msg · Guru

It took me two weeks before I was even game enough to start up my motorhome. Now, after five years I have travelled 90K. Bit scary at the beginning.

-- Edited by msg on Wednesday 27th of April 2016 02:52:17 PM

Solo Ex-Digger · Veteran Member

Hi John,

Loss of anyone close is a terrible experience. The advice provided by all others in this forum is great. I believe that you will move on and do the trip when you are ready to. No one can say to you, "OK it has now been xxx weeks/months, time to get a move on...." You will know when and if you want to proceed. There is no right or wrong time for this.

Chin up and, if you feel that things are getting too tough, seek out friends and talk to them. You might be surprised. I know I was given that I went through a great deal of my life listening to people say "build a bridge". Wrong way to go.

Krusty · Senior Member

I had a mate (70's) stay at my place last year who had the same problem. His wife has recently passed away as well. He said he kept on thinking about all the stuff that could go wrong. I asked him how he got going. He said he just decided to get going. I realise that doesn't help much. Just posting to let you know others are going through similar stuff.

wendyv · Guru

John - can you pick out the aspects of going travelling that make you feel anxious? If you can mention those on this forum, others may be able to offer advice.

Sheba · Guru

Hi John. Have PM'd you.

Cheers,

Sheba.

Woody n Sue · Guru

Now this is what makes this just a great forum some fantastic post here from people who really care and want to help
I dips me lid to you all
John you have made a positive start to getting over your anxiety simply by posting here all the best for your future.

Liventhedream · Veteran Member

Thank for the replys I relate to all of them especially the "all the things that can go wrong "...iv bought spare brake pads..hoses ,fan belts ,check if and how the jack works 5 times ...brake fluid oil filters. .insanity lol. .
Cheers john

Liventhedream · Veteran Member

Hi im new at this not sure re PM means

Thank you cheers John

Liventhedream · Veteran Member

Opps ok got it " re Pm Seniors moment

meetoo · Guru

Hi John, Thank you for your post here. I was very completely a mess 18 months ago. One of the definitive things at that time that made a major difference in my life was the kindness and support from many of the folk here; total strangers. Mostly behind the scenes with many pm's etc. I have seen that very same caring out on the road just the same.

'Baby steps' - was some advice given to me that worked wonders.

I take this opportunity to thank everyone again.

Cheers, John

Liventhedream · Veteran Member

Thank you Panther and all others .....one day at a time

wendyv · Guru

John - at this stage, try not to worry too much about breakdowns, spares etc. Make sure you have Roadside Assist membership - the Vic RACV and the NSW NRMA have a Premium/Tow Pack extra to their top assist schemes, that covers larger motorhomes. If you have insured with Ken Tame (via CMCA membership) then that is also a towing cover, should it be needed.

For your initial travel, stay on main roads, don't do huge distances at a time. There will be plenty of other travellers sharing the roads, caravan parks, camps. You will gain confidence that your rig is not going to let you down.

Have a Telstra service mobile phone, for the best coverage away from cities.

DMaxer · Guru

Hi John. When I first started to travel as a solo I held the mistaken belief that every couple must be having a fantastic time and most of us singles were either lonely or watching the action from a distance. It did not take me long to discover that nothing could be further from the truth.

I discovered that not everybody on the road was out there fulfilling a lifetime dream, a lot were out there escaping their own demons. some people I have met never had any real intentions of travelling in this way and only ventured out on to the road as they could not bear another day living in a house full of memories whilst slowly dying of misery and loneliness.

One of the great things about this lifestyle is that you don't have to do anything to meet people of similar interests. The minute you pull up at a rest stop, caravan park or free camp, you have something in common. There is no pressure nor is there any need to explain what you are doing, you are just part of the herd, so to speak. The mere fact that someone has a van similar or recognizes you from a caravan park three days ago is sufficient to continue the friendship.

Don't ask yourself " How will I cope if something goes wrong", ask yourself "How will I feel if everything goes well"

One more suggestion. Just take your motor home or van down the road from your place to the nearest stop over or rest area and take your thermos. Sit outside and have a cup of tea and count how many people say hello and then count how many happily stop and have a chat if you decide to continue the conversation.

You will be astonished.

Liventhedream · Veteran Member

Thanks re advice ....im planning this week to maybe go to Wollongong im in Sydney ...just need rear brakes checked there drum type told they might need adjusting ...

Cheers john

Aus-Kiwi · Guru

Just do it .. Take your time .. Glass is half fall .. Don't worry be happy ..

Panther · Senior Member

Hi Liventhedream,

We all hope you did/do get away to Wollongong (or somewhere) and we are all here waiting expectantly.....no pressure at all....just if you want to keep us up to date......We would certainly love to hear how your expedition went.
I truly hope there was some pleasant and happy times for you and that you totally enjoyed yourself. Things don't always go perfectly but that doesn't mean you cant enjoy your traveling, meet a few new camping buddies and enjoy just being out there.

All the best.

jules47 · The Happy Helper

cross our path.jpg

Liventhedream · Veteran Member

Thank u all re input ..Panther I had change on mind and re Wollongong and headed to Pearl beach on central coast ...have read it was one of the best beaches in NSW so drove there. ..very tight road from Woy Woy to Pearl Beach but a lovely place I stayed over night....enjoyed the sound of the waves breaking
Will do another trip soon .
Cheers john

aussie_paul · Guru

Liventhedream wrote:
Thank u all re input ..Panther I had change on mind and re Wollongong and headed to Pearl beach on central coast ...have read it was one of the best beaches in NSW so drove there. ..very tight road from Woy Woy to Pearl Beach but a lovely place I stayed over night....enjoyed the sound of the waves breaking
Will do another trip soon .
Cheers john

Great to hear John, well done, tiny steps.

Aussie Paul. smile

Longreach69 · Newbie

Good on you Dmax you said it all.

Liventhedream · Veteran Member

Thank you DMAX ...needed to read that ..
Cheers john

DMaxer · Guru

John my friend, most of us go through it. The important thing is to come out the other side, which I am sure you will.