Judes, Im not certain I can find the correct words to express thanks for what you are doing but I have to try. Thank you, just doesnt cut it.
A couple of years back my youngest son and his partner went through this. Their first born, a daughter died just 3 hours after her birth. Her name was Charlotte.
The eldest sister stepped in when it became obvious that organising the mundane things like the burial was beyond either parents ability at that point. First port of call was the funeral director. As soon as they learnt that the deceased was a small child they scooped up all the price lists they had gotten out to show her and said, There will be no charge .
She asked about where to buy a coffin and learnt that the hospital will provide that. Actually, it wasnt the hospital at all. (we learnt later) It was the man who ran the morgue there. Years earlier he had decided that the crates currently used were just inappropriate and despite having no woodworking experience he set himself up in a small workshop in the backyard and started producing small proper coffins. Im a woodworker by trade and his workmanship was superb.
It didnt stop there. When inquiries were made about printing those small book mark sized memorials to hand out to guests she was shown all the different options and their relevant costs. Once a decision was made and she started to dictate what should be printed on them the proprietor realised they were talking about a baby. She apologised most profusely and explained she hadnt realised that the deceased was a child. There will be no charge
It STILL didnt stop there. The lady with the helium balloons to release at the funeral did the same. As did the lady who produces those little memorials with an imprint of the babies hands and feet.
Lastly, in the hospital the mother received a memory box such as you make. Again, no charge and filled with little mementos and offerings from local businesses. All no charge.
That box now lives on the top shelf of a closet. The mother doesnt wish to see it every minute of every day but often enough to remind her regularly. The thing is, it doesnt remind her of her loss so much as it does to remind her of how supportive COMPLETE STRANGERS had been to herself and her baby. THATS what makes her feel good.
That caring is contagious. When my sons four siblings heard of all that was happening they decided to finish the job by pooling together to pay the one and only bill the parents would ever see. The cost of the actual burial site.
So, how does one say thank you to people like you? Maybe by relating one story of one pair of parents and the profound gratitude they felt for all the strangers like you who cared.
Jim
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There Comes a time in life, when you must walk away from all drama and the people who create it.
Hello Jim
Oh my goodness, what a heartfelt letter. I am truly sorry you have lost your Grand Daughter and your son and partner lost their precious little Charlotte. No words, just understanding. I don't often hear what happens to the Memory boxes we paint. Thank you so much for sharing I am so pleased we make a difference to a bereaved family at such a tragic time. I am glad your family found so much compassion and it is just lovely to see how you all cared for each other.
Sadly Baby loss is higher than the road toll but it is a taboo subject. I am keen to bring more awareness to everyone in the hope that these parents can talk about their Baby, that their Baby be acknowledged and their Baby's name be spoken of often and be forever remembered.
We care.
Thank you Jim.
Our group has a facebook page where we update the paintings and the painters from time to time. With your permission I would like to share your story on the page. It would be nice for the volunteers to see how much these boxes mean to families.
Warmest regards.
Judes <3
