It was the mid seventies. We were some of the dozens of coach crews taking tourists to all parts of the country. Many of the roads weren't sealed. Yet we managed many of the dusty roads that are now easily driven by today's modern vehicles.

Anyway, come the end of the tourist season, we the coach crews used to find a really good restaurant in Melbourne, and have a great time.

This particular night, there was a lovely woman, a few years older than me, and very well glued together. (I was 34) She was walking around the tables talking to the diners, and had the most magnificent pair of boobs, that were almost falling out of her dress.

All the blokes, including yours truly, were checking out the norks when I quietly bet that I could get my face between them.

We all chucked in 20 bucks apiece, and that included all the tour cooks and hostess'. The word was, "No way, Pipes!"

So, at the far end of restaurant there was a bar that wasn't being used. Above that, there was a beautiful photo of Marilyn Munroe. When everyone seemed quite unaware, I walked up and sat just below the photo.

Now, with a little bit of effort, I was able to quietly start crying. Without looking around, I crossed my arms, and put my face on them.

About five minutes later, the lady walked up and asked if I was all right. As soon as I lifted my head, and she saw the tears she asked what was wrong.

I tearfully explained that when I was eleven, my parents took me to the USA. During the visit, we ended up at a movie studio, and there was Marilyn Munroe. I/we were introduced all around, and then Miss Munroe said hello to me.

I didn't know what to say, so I just stood there in awe of the lady. Then she excused herself, and returned with a photo of herself, and gave it to me. It was signed, "Love, Marylin"

I finished off the story by saying that within ten years, she was be dead. Then wiped my eyes.

Then the woman put her arms around my neck, and pulled my tear filled face in that warm cleavage.

After that magnificent performance, by me, it was totally ruined by the rest of the coach crews when they all exploded with cheers and applause.

The woman eased me away from her bosom, and said, with a big grin "You been having a lend of me, you cheeky young bugger!"

I admitted that I had. Then she kissed me  !?

We walked back to the table, hand in hand, and I shared my winnings with her.

Pipes.