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Big Gorilla


Guru

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Posts: 4615
Date:
AGING...
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Aging

 

 
As I was lying in bed  pondering the problems of the world, I rapidly realized that I don't really  give a rat's rump. It's the tortoise life for me!


1.. If walking is good for  your health, the postman would be immortal

2.. A whale swims all day,  only eats fish, drinks water, and is fat.

3.. A rabbit runs and hops  and only lives 15 years.

4.. A tortoise doesn't run  and does nothing, yet it lives for 450 years.

And you tell me to  exercise?? I don't think so.


I'm retired. Go around  me.


Now that I'm older here's  what I've discovered:

1. I started out with  nothing, and I still have most of it.


2. My wild oats have  turned into prunes and all-bran.


3. I finally got my head  together, and now my body is falling apart.


4. Funny, I don't remember  being absent-minded.


5. Funny, I don't remember  being absent-minded.


6. If all is not lost,  where is it?


7. It is easier to get  older than it is to get wiser.


8. Some days, you're the  dog; some days you're the hydrant.


9. I wish the buck stopped  here; I sure could use a few.


10. Kids in the back seat  cause accidents.


11. Accidents in the back  seat cause kids.


12. It's hard to make a  comeback when you haven't been anywhere.


13. The only time the  world beats a path to your door is when you're in the bathroom.


14. If God wanted me to  touch my toes, he'd have put them on my knees.


15. When I'm finally  holding all the cards, why does everyone want to play chess?


16. It's not hard to meet  expenses . . . they're everywhere.


17. The only difference  between a rut and a grave is the depth.


18. These days, I spend a  lot of time thinking about the hereafter ..

I go somewhere to get  something, and then wonder what I'm hereafter.

19. Funny, I don't  remember being absent-minded.


20. DID I SEND THESE TO  YOU  BEFORE..........??????

God grant me the senility  to forget the people I never liked, the good fortune to run into the ones I  do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.


__________________

Retired Airline Pilot and Electrician..

I'm not old, I've just been young a long time....Ken

Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

 
Dougwe


Chief one feather

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Posts: 17407
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On ya Ken. All true mate.

__________________

Live Life On Your Terms

DOUG  Chief One Feather  (Losing feathers with age)

TUG.......2014 Holden LT Colorado Twin Cab Ute with Canopy

DEN....... 2014 "Chief" Arrow CV  (with some changes)

 
LLD


Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 600
Date:
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Today I discovered my age group !.



I am a Seenager (Senior teenager).
I have everything that I wanted as a teenager, only 55-60 years later.
I don't have to go to school or work.

I get an allowance every month

I have my own pad.

I don't have a curfew.

I have a driver's license and my own car.

I have ID that gets me into bars and the wine store. I like the wine store best.

The people I hang around with are not scared, they aren't scared of anything, they have been blessed to live this long, why be scared ?

And I don't have acne.

Life is Good ! Also, you will feel much more intelligent after reading this, if you are a Seenager.

Brains of older people are slow because they know so much.

People do not decline mentally with age; it just takes them longer to recall facts because they have more information in their brains.

Scientists believe this also makes you hard of hearing as it puts pressure on your inner ear.

Also, older people often go to another room to get something and when they get there, they stand there wondering what they came for. It is NOT a memory problem; it is nature's way of making older people do more exercise. SO THERE !!!

I have more friends I should send this to, but right now I can't remember their names.

So please forward this to your friends; they may be my friends, too.

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