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Post Info TOPIC: The Perfect Job
fwdoz


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The Perfect Job
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My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned... couldn't concentrate.
Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so... they gave me the axe.
After that I tried to be a tailor. It was a so-so job, and I guess I just wasn't suited for it.
Next, I tried working in a muffler factory but that... was exhausting.
I wanted to be a barber, but... I just couldn't cut it.
Then I tried to be a chef. Figured it would add a little spice to my life but I just... didn't have the time.
I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it, I... couldn't cut the mustard.
My best job was being a musician, but eventually I found... I wasn't very noteworthy.
I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I... didn't have any patience.
Next was a job in a shoe factory; I tried but I... just didn't fit in.
I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I... couldn't live on my net income.
Thought about becoming a witch, so I... tried that for a spell.
I managed to get a good job working for a pool-maintenance company, but the work was... just too draining.
I got a job at a zoo feeding giraffes but I was fired because I... wasn't up to it.
So then I got a job in as a personal trainer, but they said I... wasn't fit for the job.
Next, I found being an electrician interesting, but the work was shocking and I... was discharged.
After many years of trying to find steady work I finally got a job as a historian until I realised there was... no future in it.
My last job was working as a barista, but I had to quit because it... was always the same old grind.
SO I RETIRED AND I FOUND I'M A PERFECT FIT FOR THIS JOB!


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JeffRae


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Agreed, best job that I have had smile



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Sheba


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Faaaaaaantastic.  biggrinbiggrinbiggrinbiggrinbiggrin



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JayDee


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How about this one for the perfect job. And I quote.

 

I have enjoyed working here these past several years.  You have paid me very well and given me benefits beyond belief.  I have 3-4 months off per year and a pension plan that will pay my salary till the day I die.   And then the plan will pay my estate a one year salary death bonus. Further, it then continues to pay my spouse my salary, with increases until she or he dies, along with a health plan that most people can only dream of having.  Despite this, I intend taking the next 12-18 months to find a new position.  During this time I will show up for work when it is convenient for me.  In addition, I fully expect to draw my full salary and all the other perks associated with my current job.  Oh yes, if my search for this new job proves fruitless, I will be coming back with no loss in pay or status.  Before you say anything, remember that you have no choice in this matter.  I can, and I will do this.

 

Sincerely,
Every Member of Parliament running for re-election.

 

 



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Sheba


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Good Come-back JayDee.   biggrinbiggrinbiggrinbiggrinbiggrin



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dishlicker


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I'm still working on it cheers

 



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